Ever since that last trip out to clear her mind when she had inadvertently run into Lin Guanqing quarreling with his Senior Sister, Shen Xiu had gradually reduced the frequency of her outings.
Her temperament was naturally gentle and quiet to begin with, and she had never been particularly fond of going out anyway. Now, with an even greater reduction in her public appearances, it became even harder for others to catch a glimpse of her.
Aside from occasionally heading over to Senior Brother Fang’s small martial arts hall, she hardly ever stepped past her courtyard gates.
However, even though she reduced her wandering about, she did happen to run into Lin Guanqing twice while asking Senior Brother Fang for guidance on some self-defense techniques.
Because the timing coincided, whenever she arrived, she would happen to encounter Lin Guanqing sparring in martial arts with Senior Brother Fang.
On those occasions, Shen Xiu would simply watch quietly from the side. Although there were times when she could not make sense of certain moves at all, she never once made a sound to interrupt them.
Only after the two of them finished sparring would she step forward to ask for instruction. Yet the moves she asked about were always the most basic ones; because her foundation was too weak and she lacked any prior martial arts experience, Senior Brother Fang always felt quite helpless when trying to teach her. Fortunately, Lin Guanqing would frequently offer pointers from the side, resolving quite a few of her confusions. Clearly, his attitude toward her now was considerably more patient than it had been in the past.
As for Shen Xiu, her attitude toward him remained unchanged from before, and she did not take those overheard words to heart.
Their relationship appeared to be much as it had always been, neither excessively close nor overly distant.
Though it was called guidance, the two of them actually exchanged very few words, and Lin Guanqing would only step forward to offer pointers when Shen Xiu genuinely could not understand something.
However, Shen Xiu was far from dull. The third time Lin Guanqing appeared in Senior Brother Fang’s courtyard and coincidentally ran into her, she vaguely understood what was happening.
Ever since that day, she stopped going to Senior Brother Fang’s courtyard altogether.
At first, Lin Guanqing did not realize that his actions were in any way inappropriate, as coming over had simply been an instinctive habit.
It was not until several days had passed without him seeing Shen Xiu at Senior Brother Fang’s place that Lin Guanqing frowned, feeling that something was amiss. The practice of martial arts relied on consistency; how could anyone master martial arts by practicing intermittently for three days and skipping for two? He simply marched right over, originally intending to ask why she had stopped coming to practice.
Yet halfway there, a sudden realization dawned on him, and he recognized that this was likely Shen Xiu’s deliberate attempt to keep her distance.
Lin Guanqing’s mind faltered for a moment, as if a sudden awakening had struck him.
No, this was not right.
Lin Guanqing murmured a few words under his breath, a strange, dazed look in his eyes, as though he had abruptly woken up from a dream.
It felt as though things should not be like this.
Lin Guanqing suddenly felt deeply perplexed, even waking up to his own abnormal behavior. Why had he suddenly developed an unspoken anticipation toward bumping into Shen Xiu?
Clearly, he had previously preferred going to the back mountains alone for morning exercises or practicing exclusively with his Senior Sister; clearly, he used to find sparring with Senior Brother Fang the most tedious thing in the world. Why, then, had he gone out of his way for several days in a row to visit Senior Brother Fang’s courtyard right around the time Shen Xiu usually appeared? What on earth was he trying to do? Why had things turned out this way?
This was abnormal. This was completely wrong.
Lin Guanqing told himself this repeatedly in his heart.
Regarding Shen Xiu, how could such a thing even be possible? It was utterly impossible.
Giving his head a hard knock, Lin Guanqing walked back to his own courtyard with a bizarre and chaotic jumble of thoughts, finally coming to terms with his own uncharacteristic behavior at that very moment.
The person he loved most was clearly his Senior Sister, and the one he cared about was also his Senior Sister. Yet recently, the number of times he met with his Senior Sister had decreased significantly. Had he subconsciously neglected her? If his Senior Sister were to find out that not only had he failed to keep his distance from Shen Xiu, but he had even continued interacting with her behind her back, she would undoubtedly be furious.
He had always placed his Senior Sister’s feelings above all else. So what on earth was he doing now?
How could a person be so fickle and two-faced?
Leaving others aside, even he himself held a certain level of contempt for his own actions.
Wasn’t behaving this way extremely frivolous and shameless? How was he any different from a petty villain, and where did that leave Miss Shen? Could it be that just because her background was pitiful, he had the right to casually get close to her and bully her?
Such intentions weren’t they a blatant display of disrespect? It was no wonder she chose to avoid him.
Realizing all this, Lin Guanqing knitted his brow tightly, struggling to force that slender, frail figure out of his mind. But it was always like this, the more he told himself not to think about it, the more his uncontrollable mind drifted back to her.
Lin Guanqing suddenly found himself trapped in a web of deep contradiction.
A rational voice inside his head told him that he could not continue like this, that he needed to stop. Yet on an emotional level, he would inexplicably soften and feel a sense of anticipation.
Plagued by these conflicting emotions, he shut himself inside his room and remained in silence for an entire day.
When he finally emerged, the previous haze of confusion and hesitation had completely vanished from Lin Guanqing’s face.
This was because he had thought things through and knew he could no longer go on like this. He was well aware that the person he loved was his Senior Sister, meaning he could neither waver nor let his mind wander.
Perhaps he held a slight fondness for Shen Xiu, but just as he had said that day, it stemmed entirely from pity and sympathy. Sympathy did not equal affection, it was merely seeing her in such a wretched state that made a person instinctively want to lend a hand. In fact, anyone witnessing such a situation would have chosen to help.
Having cleared his thoughts, Lin Guanqing’s mood finally settled. At the same time, he made a firm decision in his mind: since growing close to Shen Xiu provoked uncontrollable emotions within him, keeping his distance from her was the best course of action.
This was also the initial thought that had crossed Lin Guanqing’s mind when he realized Shen Xiu was intentionally or unintentionally avoiding him.
Because upon realizing it, a strange and uncomfortable sensation had stirred deep within his heart, an uncomfortable feeling born of the embarrassment and annoyance of being so thoroughly shunned.
If she wanted to avoid him, did he care for her presence anyway? However, it was only after he made the firm decision to truly distance himself from her that the inexplicable sense of resentment and annoyance within his chest began to dissipate.
Indeed, Lin Guanqing’s detachment became quite obvious.
He reduced his visits to Senior Brother Fang’s small martial arts hall even further.
Even if they happened to cross paths on the road, Lin Guanqing would only give her a cool, passing glance, offering a distant nod of acknowledgment before walking past without breaking his stride.
At first, Shen Xiu would still react as she had before, submissively halting her steps upon seeing him and softly calling out, “Guanqing.”
When Lin Guanqing heard her voice, his stride would merely pause imperceptibly, and after a cold, casual hum of acknowledgment, he would brush past her without even sparing her an extra glance.
After this happened a few times, Shen Xiu understood.
Whenever she saw him thereafter, she sensibly refrained from stepping forward. Instead, lowering her gaze slightly, she would quietly step aside and wait for him to pass.
Even during her instruction sessions with Senior Brother Fang, if she happened to be present, Lin Guanqing would find an excuse to leave early or walk over to the other side of the courtyard, turning his back to the two of them as he diligently polished his sword. He acted as though the two of them were completely invisible, locking away the warmth and patience he had previously shown when guiding Shen Xiu.
The change was so glaringly obvious that even Senior Brother Fang, whose mind was entirely single-tracked on martial arts, sensed something was wrong.
While sparring privately with Lin Guanqing, Senior Brother Fang could not help pressing him with questions: “What is going on between you and Miss Shen? Did you two have a falling out? Why aren’t you speaking to each other anymore? Weren’t you getting along just fine a few days ago?”
Lin Guanqing halted the motion of polishing the long sword in his hand, the blade reflecting a face devoid of much emotional fluctuation.
“It is nothing.” His tone remained flat as he lifted his eyelids, “Things were meant to be this way.”
Senior Brother Fang wore a peculiar expression, clearly unconvinced, “What do you mean by things were meant to be this way? If it is nothing, why are you avoiding her?”
“I am not avoiding her; clearly, she is the one avoiding me.” Lin Guanqing blurted out the words with a hint of underlying annoyance.
The instant those words left his mouth, a slight tightness gripped his chest, as though some long-suppressed emotion had suddenly broken free from its chains, granting him a vague understanding of his own feelings.
Because he suddenly realized that he still cared, after all.
The feelings that had been suppressed deep within his heart for days threatened to burst forth uncontrollably, stirring a nameless, irritating blaze in his chest that left him deeply unsettled, though he could not quite pinpoint where this anger originated.
Unable to trace the cause, Lin Guanqing took a deep breath and forced the restless, stifled frustration back down. “Forget it, it is nothing.”
Not understanding a word, Senior Brother Fang simply concluded that his Junior Brother was being overly finicky. Slapping Lin Guanqing on the shoulder, he offered some advice under the assumption of being broad-minded: “Junior Brother, aren’t you being a bit too petty?”
“Why argue with a girl? As a woman, she naturally needs to maintain proper boundaries. To think you were so enthusiastic about teaching her martial arts just a few days ago, only to turn your back on her now?”
“Look at that narrow-minded attitude of yours. Junior Brother, it is not that I want to criticize you, but what kind of unpardonable thing could a young woman possibly do to anger you? You are a man; you ought to be more magnanimous.”
“Just shut your mouth.” Lin Guanqing massaged his throbbing temples, feeling as though his head was buzzing from his Senior Brother’s incessant chatter.
Taking another deep breath, he had no desire to continue entangling himself in this topic with his Senior Brother. “Things are not what you think they are.”
Opting instead for an excuse that everyone would readily believe, he said: “Senior Sister and I had another argument. She dislikes me getting too close to Miss Shen, and I do not wish to upset Senior Sister, so naturally, I have to keep my distance to avoid any misunderstandings.”
“Alright, this is my own personal matter, so Senior Brother need not pry any further.” Changing the subject smoothly, he added: “I noticed your teaching methods were quite perfunctory when you instructed others in martial arts earlier; you had zero patience, not looking like a master at all.”
Hearing this, Senior Brother Fang inevitably took offense.
“Hey, hey… Where is the logic in that?”
“I was merely helping you out, and instead of gratitude, you are criticizing my lack of dedication? If you think Senior Brother is that easy to push around, you can go and teach her yourself.”
“That will not do.” Lin Guanqing let out a chuckle, devoid of any discernible emotion, “Can you not tell that she despises my presence?” Though the words sounded casual at first, closer scrutiny revealed the subtle awkwardness and frustration hidden beneath his tone.
However, Lin Guanqing’s detachment did not elicit any dramatic reaction from Shen Xiu.
She continued as she always had, remaining quietly inside her courtyard, reading books and tending to flowers, living a calm and ordinary life.
The system, on the other hand, was practically fuming with anger.
As spring warmth returned, the flowers and plants in the courtyard gradually blossomed. Watching Shen Xiu leisurely watering the flowers with a kettle in hand, the system’s voice carried a rare hint of anxiety and reproach:
“Do you think you are being very clever? Why did you suddenly distance yourself from the male lead? He was already starting to fall for you, and his favorability toward you was quite high. You should have struck while the iron was hot and seized the opportunity to completely win him over!”
“Now look at what you have done; all our previous efforts are wasted. He is even somewhat annoyed with you now. Did you not notice that he can’t even be bothered to look at you anymore?” Biting its tiny handkerchief, the system was so angry it wanted to jump out and shake her awake.
Shen Xiu’s expression remained unchanged. She continued watering the plants, even lowering her head to take a contented sniff of the floral fragrance.
It wasn’t until the system’s agitation calmed down slightly that she replied unhurriedly in her mind: “A momentary spark of attraction and favorability proves nothing.”
“That is precisely why you needed to press your advantage while the iron was hot,” the system retorted without missing a beat.
Brushing the dirt off her hands, Shen Xiu asked indifferently, “And then? Follow his wishes, grow close to him, and let him choose between me and his Senior Sister?”
The system did not understand, “Is there something wrong with that?”
With a gentle gaze, Shen Xiu lightly stroked a petal, “Of course there is. Why should I hand the right of choice over to him? The choice clearly lies with me; why would I ever do such a thing?”
She pressed her lips together in a faint smile, her tone soft and calm, “Besides, human nature is flawed, and the male lead is no exception. People never truly cherish things they can obtain too easily.”
Frowning in puzzlement, the system sensed something amiss and probed tentatively, “What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, I am preparing to leave this place.” As she dropped these words, a very faint, soft smile still graced her face, looking serene and quiet.
Having finally finished watering the plants, Shen Xiu placed the watering kettle on a nearby wooden rack, dusted off her skirt, and stood up. “Since he also wishes to keep his distance, I naturally should help him along.”
“What?” The system gasped in shock, thinking it had misheard, “Leave? If you leave, how are you going to complete your mission?”
Shen Xiu smiled, as if completely oblivious to the disapproval in its voice, and replied calmly: “That is my own affair, which you do not need to worry about.”
The system: “…” You are doing this again.
Wailing inside her mind, the system put on its most sincere display of acting performance: “You always do this! Why? Why must you treat me this way? Heavens above, you only ever tell half of your plans; have you ever considered my feelings?”
Shen Xiu’s mouth twitched slightly as she fell silent for a fraction of a second.
“…Alright, stop acting.”
“It is far too melodramatic; that kind of tone simply does not suit you.”
The system ground its teeth.
Perfunctory! That was definitely perfunctory again!