Lin Chongtan didn’t seem to notice that his attitude was unusual at all. The hand holding mine was warm and dry. The weather was already hot, and with him leaning against me, the nearby ice basin seemed useless, providing no cooling at all.
“See? Isn’t it much better writing it this way, Xiao Di?”
The last two words sounded as if they had been soaked in mellow wine before leaving his mouth. I felt increasingly uneasy, yet I feared I was being overly sensitive. However, his next move made me resolutely turn around and push him away.
The hand he had placed on my waist actually… actually gave me a squeeze.
The brush flicked out a trail of ink spots, ruining the words we had just written and staining both our clothes.
Lin Chongtan seemed truly drunk. After I pushed him away, he looked dazed for a moment.
“Even if you drank too much outside, you shouldn’t—shouldn’t treat me with this kind of attitude.” As I spoke, I couldn’t help but feel ashamed, and beyond that, very angry. I glared at him, watching him snap out of his dazed state.
Lin Chongtan raised a hand to touch his forehead. His tone was much more serious than before. “I’m sorry. I am a bit intoxicated. Xiao Di, could you pour me a cup of tea?”
The tea was outside. I thought about it for a moment but decided to go out and pour it for him anyway. When I returned, he was sitting in the chair at the desk, rubbing his temples with his fingertips as if he were exhausted.
Seeing me place the teacup in front of him, he thanked me, took two slow sips, and said, “It’s late today. Go back and rest.”
I didn’t move because I really wanted to find the answer to one question.
“Exactly what kind of people are you drinking with?” I originally thought Lin Chongtan was drinking inside the Academy, but now it seemed that wasn’t the case at all. The Academy wouldn’t smell of women’s cosmetics.
I saw that he still wasn’t planning to speak, so I had to mention the scent of cosmetics I smelled on him. I added, “Don’t try to lie to me. I know exactly what kind of places leave that scent on a person.”
Lin Chongtan paused, seemingly not expecting me to notice the smell. He didn’t speak, so I just stood there staring at him.
In the end, Lin Chongtan was the first to give in.
He had actually gone to the “smoke and willow” districts (red-light districts) of the capital, and he had gone with students from the Upper House.
I was speechless. “You… aren’t you afraid the professors or instructors will find out and expel you from the Academy?”
Lin Chongtan said they wouldn’t.
Just as I was about to ask why not, I suddenly realized something. Lin Chongtan looked at me calmly; he probably knew I had guessed it.
This wasn’t the first time Lin Chongtan had gone out to drink. Based on his tone, there were quite a few people with him. With so many students going out and coming back together, it was impossible for the Academy not to notice.
The Academy didn’t interfere simply because it couldn’t interfere.
What kind of student would the Academy be unable to control?
Too shocked, I couldn’t help but grab Lin Chongtan’s hand. “You… you were with the… the Imperial family…”
I didn’t even dare finish the sentence.
“Yes,” Lin Chongtan said.
In all my time at the Academy, I hadn’t even seen the faces of the princes, yet Lin Chongtan was familiar enough with them to go out drinking and visiting courtesans together.
A sense of jealousy rose within me, and I pressed further, “Which one?”
Lin Chongtan refused to say again. I was determined to pry the words out of him. Threatening him was useless now; even if Father knew he went out drinking, because the person inviting him was a prince, Father wouldn’t just refrain from scolding him—he would likely praise him.
If the hard way didn’t work, I had to try the soft way.
I pursed my lips and grabbed Lin Chongtan’s sleeve. “Second Brother, just tell me. I won’t tell anyone.”
After saying that, I gently tugged his sleeve.
Lin Chongtan still seemed unwilling to speak. I steeled my heart and softened my voice even more. “Second Brother, won’t you tell me? Please? I really won’t tell anyone. Just now you even mistook me for… and even squeezed my waist…”
“It was the Crown Prince,” Lin Chongtan interrupted.
It was actually the Crown Prince. I thought it was impressive enough that Lin Chongtan could associate with one of the other princes, but I didn’t expect it to be the most noble son of the Imperial family.
I don’t remember how I got from Lin Chongtan’s place back to my own room. When Liangji spoke to me, my mind kept wandering.
“Young Master Chun!” Liangji raised his voice slightly. “Can we turn off the light and sleep now?”
I finally snapped out of it. “Okay.”
Liangji went to sleep in the outer room. I lay in bed, completely unable to sleep.
I never imagined the person drinking with Lin Chongtan was the Crown Prince. Judging by Lin Chongtan’s tone, there were probably others, but the most noble among them was the Crown Prince.
The Crown Prince was someone I didn’t even dare think about. Even saying the words “Crown Prince” made me a bit afraid.
I felt Lin Chongtan was incredible, but on second thought, I felt my own situation was worrying. If Father knew Lin Chongtan was close to the Crown Prince, would he like him even more?
Father sent me to the Academy wanting me to achieve something, but now I had no academic success and hadn’t built any connections.
Originally in the Outer House, there were a few people willing to talk to me. but after the incident with Feiguang Yue, those people avoided me like the plague, fearing they would share in Feiguang Yue’s bad mood.
Now in the Outer House, I was all alone, without even a single person to talk to.
If things continued this way, I would probably have to return to Suzhou in disgrace.
By then, Lin Chongtan, who had already joined the Crown Prince’s circle, might already be on his way to becoming a high-ranking official.
Thinking of this, I hugged my rag doll even tighter.
No, I can’t just wait for death. I must study even harder in the future.
However, the announcement of the major exam results a few days later crushed what little confidence I had left.
The major exam was for the newly enrolled students. There were over a hundred students who entered the Academy this year. I knew my talent was not high, so when looking at the rankings, I started from the bottom. I didn’t expect the very first name at the end to be mine.
Liangji squeezed through the crowd to my side. He never knew how to read the room, and he was the same now. “Young Master Chun, I saw Second Young Master’s name! It’s at the very top.”
Both were “first.” Lin Chongtan was first from the top; I was first from the bottom.
Back in the classroom, everyone was discussing the results. I heard Wenle Nie’s voice, “What rank did the Young Prince get?”
“Sixth,” someone answered.
“As expected of the Young Prince. I didn’t even see him studying, yet he got sixth on the major exam. If he had studied seriously, imagine how he’d do.”
The more they talked, the more ashamed I felt. I wanted to hide my face, and in fact, I did. I buried my face in my arms, trying to block out the outside voices.
But as soon as class started, the instructor read the results aloud in the classroom. When he read my name, someone let out a laugh. That laugh was like a spark; everyone started laughing. Only the instructor and I couldn’t laugh.
The instructor looked at me with an expression like a bone stuck in his throat.
Perhaps he hadn’t expected to have such a stupid and dull student.
I lowered my head, my fingernails leaving one deep red mark after another in my palms.
During the break, I didn’t dare stay in the classroom. I wanted to go out and find a place with no people. But for some reason, there were people everywhere today. I felt like everyone who saw me would make fun of me, so I avoided them, walking further and further into secluded areas.
By the time I realized I had walked too far, I was by the Academy’s Yuexin Lake. A circle of willow trees grew around the lake. Seeing a willow branch on the ground, I picked it up and held it, preparing to head back over the bridge.
After crossing the bridge, there were some rock formations. Because of the previous incident where water was splashed on me, I had developed a habit of avoiding the rock gardens. But this time, just as I was about to turn away, I suddenly heard Wenle Nie’s voice.
His voice sounded different than before. “Young Prince, are there more of these booklets?”
“Why do you ask?” Feiguang Yue’s voice followed.
Wenle Nie chuckled. “You know why. These drawings are… tsk tsk. If only Lin Chun Di could really be like he is in the booklet. I say he really is something; with that stupid brain, why bother studying? He worked so hard just to come in dead last. They both have the surname Lin, yet Lin Chongtan is so smart, and as for him… if you ask me, he was born into the wrong family. If he were born in a brothel, everyone would probably be fighting over him.”
The more I listened, the more my body shook uncontrollably. Anger made me lose all reason, and I rushed into the rock garden. Only Feiguang Yue and Wenle Nie were there. Seeing me appear, Wenle Nie looked flustered for a split second.
I saw them holding a booklet and rushed up to snatch it away. After looking at just a few pages, I slammed the booklet onto the ground.
Wenle Nie quickly picked it up. “Why are you being so aggressive? Don’t ruin it.”
His words reminded me, and I tried to snatch the booklet back to destroy it. But Feiguang Yue stopped me. He grabbed my arm and pinned me in his arms. “What are you doing? Want to destroy it? Lin Chun Di, I spent a lot of money to have someone draw that.”
“Shameless!” I was almost driven mad with rage, but when I said those words, they both laughed. Wenle Nie tucked the booklet I had just thrown down into his robes and smiled at me. “Don’t be angry. It’s just a few pictures of you.”
Feiguang Yue said, “You’re saying that too late. He has a big temper; in a moment he’ll probably go complain again and say we’re bullying him.”
“Sigh, he’s lucky to have that distant brother Lin Chongtan protecting him.” Wenle Nie shook his head. Seeing me glaring at him, he added, “But it really is strange. Lin Chun Di, you and Lin Chongtan both have the surname Lin. He’s so smart, so why are you so stupid? What will you do if he stops looking after you in the future?”
I bit my teeth hard, wishing I weren’t biting my teeth, but their flesh.
But their words were undoubtedly a reminder. Was I going to go find Lin Chongtan every time I was bullied?
I couldn’t live relying on Lin Chongtan, and I certainly didn’t want to live in his shadow forever.
If he could get close to the Crown Prince, so could I.
So, I began to beg Lin Chongtan to take me to the banquets with him.
If I could gain the Crown Prince’s favor, even if my academic skills weren’t good, I might still be able to secure a minor official position in the future.