“Why are you requesting guiding from me? Can’t you get it from your support guide?”
When I finally couldn’t hold back my question, the body that hadn’t budged the entire time during guiding reacted slightly.
“My support guide’s busy these days.”
“Is there something more urgent than guiding an S-class esper?”
“Who knows.”
Vasily answered meaningfully. His tone made it clear he had no intention of answering.
I didn’t press further and kept my mouth shut. I had no desire to know the details of Vasily’s circumstances, and I didn’t want to keep asking and risk rubbing him the wrong way.
After a brief silence, Vasily spoke this time.
“How did you know I don’t have a guide?”
“I looked it up on the internet.”
“Next time, if you’re curious, just ask me directly. You can call, too. Ah, want my number?”
“I don’t need it.”
I snorted inwardly. Not only did I not need his number, there was no chance I’d ever be the one to contact him first.
“Ugh……”
Suddenly, my head throbbed. It felt like a needle was crawling around inside my skull, stabbing my brain.
I thought it would pass soon, but the symptoms only got worse. The heat that started at the back of my neck spread through my whole body, and a pounding headache set in.
I was hugging Vasily’s cold body, so I should’ve been cold, but inside I felt like I was burning up. As if cold and heat were colliding. Dizziness surged as a sharp ringing stabbed at my ears.
- Beep-beep-beep.
Just as my condition kept worsening, the alarm I’d set on my smartphone went off. The cheerful sound chimed from my pocket, and I shoved Vasily away without hesitation and stood up.
“Is it over already?”
“Yes. That’s it for guiding.”
Vasily looked disappointed. He seemed like he wanted to talk a little more, but even as we stood there, my headache was getting worse. I left him where he was and hurried out of the guiding room.
I got back to my desk, pulled the red pill from my bag, and gulped it down as is.
“Haa……”
Only after taking the medicine did I feel my condition begin to settle. Relief crept in as I let go of the tension that had been wound tight.
Ever since I implanted the suppression chip in my neck, these symptoms cropped up whenever I did a lot of guiding. It would start with a hot flush at the back of my neck, then the headache would worsen, a fever would come on, and my body would feel heavy.
But today, the symptoms hit quickly even though I’d guided less than usual. The reason was obvious. It had to be because I guided Vasily.
When I rubbed the back of my neck, I could feel the skin, swollen and hot. Confirming the chip was there gave me some relief, but I couldn’t just keep gritting my teeth through it every time.
A mysterious pill of unknown composition. A suppression chip that overloaded the more I guided.
If this kept repeating, I’d be the only one who suffered in the end. I had to make Vasily lose interest in me as soon as possible. Rubbing my tired eyelids, I sank deep into my chair.
***
The next day, Vasily came looking for me again. And not just once—he applied for every designated guiding slot from morning to afternoon.
I frowned when I saw him waving casually from the guiding room.
“Aren’t you busy?”
“I’m usually busy, but my schedule happened to open up, so I came. Aren’t you happy to see me?”
“……”
I didn’t even have the energy to answer; I just let out a long sigh and sat across from him.
That aside, how did he apply for this many designated guidings? Designated guiding can only be requested once a week, and only for one hour.
But Vasily had applied three times in the morning and five times in the afternoon. A whopping eight designated guidings in a single day. Was this another privilege for an S-class esper? My brow furrowed.
Seeing Vasily’s face the moment I clocked in—despair washed over me when I realized I’d have to spend the rest of the day with the very culprit who had gotten me killed. I’d have an hour of freedom at lunch at least, but even that looked highly likely to be compromised.
No cafeteria today, then. I thought about going out for lunch, but the idea of eating in front of Vasily made me think I might as well starve, so I dropped it.
“Shall we start?”
He spread his arms and tilted his head. I stared at him with jaded eyes, then glanced up at the ceiling.
Maybe because of my reaction yesterday, the CCTV was fine today. That was some small comfort, but I couldn’t fully relax.
“You remember the precautions, right?”
“Mm…… not sure.”
“As long as you know you’ll be asked to leave if you violate them. Then let’s start guiding.”
I silently wrapped my arms around him as he nodded.
My fingertips brushed a smooth suit. Through the fabric, solid muscle and a familiar chill seeped into my body. I drew a deep breath, and a crisp cold scent—clean, almost refreshing—flowed deep into my lungs.
Everything that should have felt familiar felt strangely foreign. Maybe because it was the first time I’d just held him still like this. And because the guiding wasn’t painful.
“……”
“……”
Silence fell. Unlike yesterday, no conversation followed. Tick, tick—only the clock’s second hand echoed in the stillness.
‘It’s too quiet.’
I thought quiet would be good, but it was the opposite—uncomfortable. With Vasily in my arms, I couldn’t see his expression or read what he was thinking, and that made me anxious.
Don’t tell me…… he noticed I used a suppression chip?
Thoughts chased each other tail to mouth, and my head throbbed. No, maybe it wasn’t overthinking—judging by the heat, it was the chip again.
It had only been an hour since we started guiding, and I was already like this. Not knowing when it might get worse, I grew a little nervous.
“……Let’s rest ten minutes and start again.”
In the end, I couldn’t hold out and stepped out to take my medicine.
With cold water, I swallowed a pill and felt a little better. Lunch would be soon, so I could rest, but the thought of having to endure the afternoon like this made me sigh.
Dragging my heavy body back to the guiding room, I found Vasily on a call with someone.
“I’m warning you in advance. Don’t do anything pointless.”
It sounded important, so I started to step back out, but Vasily gestured for me to come in and sit. I saw that and, without thinking, walked in and sat down.
Then I looked up and saw Vasily smiling at me in satisfaction. In that moment, I realized what I’d done and was appalled. I’d acted on habit without thinking. My body had obeyed his signal so readily.
I clenched my fist in disgust. I was shaking with shame, and he looked positively pleased. I shot to my feet to step back out, but Vasily finished his call a beat faster.
“Sorry, it was urgent.”
“If something urgent came up, you can go.”
“Fortunately, it wasn’t like that.”
Tch, I clicked my tongue quietly. My attempt to send him away failed, and I was about to start guiding again when—
Grrrgle.
A loud sound rumbled from my stomach. I wanted to believe it wasn’t mine, but the source was undeniable. My face flushed hot. Heh—Vasily’s chuckle slipped between his lips.
“Shall we go eat lunch?”
“No, I—……”
Grrrgle.
My stomach growled again, loud.
I couldn’t hide my embarrassment and dragged a hand down my face. My stomach had absolutely no sense of danger in front of a lunatic who could kill at the drop of a hat. I hadn’t planned to eat lunch, but at this rate, if I kept guiding into the afternoon, it would keep roaring over and over.
Resigned, I nodded.
“……All right.”
“Is it okay if I pick the place?”
“Do as you like.”
Vasily smiled and stood up.
I left the guiding room with him. Walking side by side with Vasily down the Association hallway, I felt eyes on us from all directions.
Looking around, I saw people whispering as they watched us. Only then did it hit me. I wasn’t Vasily’s guide anymore, like before the regression. For someone like me to be walking with Vasily—of course it would look unusual to them.
“……Could you walk a little farther away from me?”
“Why?”
“People are staring.”
“Isn’t that a good thing? Everyone’s desperate to look close to me.”
“……”
Amazingly, that wasn’t self-obsession—it wasn’t even an exaggeration, so I had nothing to say.
Maybe it was understandable for people who didn’t know the real Vasily, but I knew all too well how lacking he was as a human being, and I didn’t want to get entangled with him.
I wanted to tell the whole world about who Vasily really was. It still eats at me that, in my past life, I couldn’t reveal the truth before he finally rampaged in a gate and died.