The sun blazed high overhead.
It washed the streets in a glaring white, thick with heat and humidity, so bright it was almost impossible to keep one’s eyes open.
Or perhaps it was simply that he had been shut away in that castle like villa for too long and had grown unaccustomed to the broad light of day.
As if summoned by his own unease, trouble arrived the moment he stepped downstairs.
“Teacher Lin, it’s been a long time!”
An old neighbor from the street had called out to him.
Lin Yansheng faltered, words catching in his throat, sweat already trickling down his back. The temperature in Rong City had climbed close to forty degrees today.
Qin Shun stepped forward instead, recognizing the person with ease. Just like in the past, he was courteous and composed, greeting them by name without hesitation.
“I came back with my uncle to clean up the old house,” he said.
The neighbor looked at him with admiration. “How filial.”
Lin Yansheng said nothing.
Inside the house, the air felt heavy and stifling.
When the curtains were drawn open, countless dust motes danced wildly in the beam of light, like particles suspended in a glowing haze.
Back then, when he had sold the house, everything had been done in a hurry. He hadn’t had the time to sort anything out.
The fraudulent real estate agent had asked him, “What do you want to keep?”
He had replied, “Nothing. Throw it all away.”
He had thought everything would have been cleared out by now.
Yet before his eyes, everything remained exactly as it had been, unchanged, untouched.
The windows were spotless, the surfaces clean. It was obvious someone had come in advance to tidy the place.
As if reading his thoughts, Qin Shun said, “The moment you put the house up for sale, I knew something must have happened. How could I possibly let the place we lived in fall into someone else’s hands?”
Lin Yansheng did not quite look at him, only replying politely, “Thank you.”
In these past three months, although they had lived under the same roof, sharing nights in close proximity, they had hardly spoken to each other.
“If you don’t like staying somewhere unfamiliar, we can move back here,” Qin Shun suggested.
“No.” Lin Yansheng shook his head, his gaze sweeping slowly across the room. “That won’t be necessary.”
They sat across from each other at the dining table.
It was clear Lin Yansheng was gathering his thoughts, preparing to say something.
Qin Shun grew quiet, waiting. He simply watched him, his gaze lingering for a long time.
Lin Yansheng had grown thinner.
The tightly buttoned collar of his shirt revealed a slender neck. Light passed over him, making his skin appear almost translucent, while beneath the thin fabric, the graceful lines of bone and muscle were faintly visible.
Sitting upright, Lin Yansheng spoke slowly, carefully.
“A’Shun… before you, I had never raised a child. So even when I did it poorly, I wasn’t aware of it. I’ve often wanted to understand what exactly caused you to become… like this. I thought perhaps it was because of Luo Yaoshan but then I also wondered if it was because I lacked masculinity myself, that I was too embarrassed to teach you about relationships between men and women.”
“It was my failure as a guardian that led you astray.”
“Actually, I should have made things clear five years ago but I wasn’t calm enough. I drove you away instead.”
“Over these years, I’ve realized that you weren’t wrong. I am indeed timid and weak, utterly incapable of handling life. Even back then, I had already begun to rely on you yet I still kept up appearances, making you study while also working to support the household, even taking care of all the chores, making my bed, serving me tea… You were born exceptional yet I treated you like a servant. You must have suffered greatly because of me.”
“It’s only natural that you resent me. I’m sorry.”
“Now… you’ve taken your revenge. Are you satisfied, Ah Shun?”
At first, Qin Shun didn’t quite understand what he was hearing.
But gradually, it became clear.
From the moment he realized, in his youth, that he loved Lin Yansheng, that love had always been painful, an ever present ache he could never escape.
“How could I possibly hate you? Or take revenge on you?” he said.
Lin Yansheng looked at him directly.
His eyes, faintly colored and filled with exhaustion, seemed almost hollow.
“Then why,” he asked quietly, “do you torment me?”
Five years ago, after being driven away by Lin Yansheng, Qin Shun had not gone far.
He lingered nearby, searching, listening, trying to gather any trace of news.
He thought that as long as his uncle showed even the slightest intention of looking for him, he would return immediately.
Yet, in the blink of an eye, the days slipped by. One day, then another and another and another.
Lin Yansheng never came looking for him. It was as if he had never existed at all.
He heard that his uncle had fallen ill.
He heard that Luo Yaoshan had gone to visit him.
So he returned to the Qin family.
His half brother recognized him at once. “So this is how you chase vanity and betray your word? You just abandon your foster father? Just like your mother, born rotten to the core.”
He beat his brother so badly that the man had to be hospitalized and stitched up.
Qin Maolin presided over the matter, calling for fairness. Standing by the hospital bed, he made them shake hands and reconcile. “You are brothers. Blood is thicker than water, that’s how you were born. Since both of you are at fault, just apologize to each other and let it be settled.”
His useless older brother looked unwilling but for the sake of the inheritance, he still forced himself to play the role of a caring elder sibling.
That night, he dreamed of Lin Yansheng.
It was nothing extraordinary, just an ordinary memory. One night, he had worked a part time job until late and returned home past midnight. Lin Yansheng had left a lamp on, waiting for him. The moment he heard the door open, he came forward at once, his smile warm like an embrace.
“A’Shun, you’re finally back. Someone brought over a bowl of red bean sweet soup. Come, come, let’s share it.”
He had never had many personal indulgences. He did not care for smoking or drinking, nor did he seek pleasure. His only pursuit was fame and success.
He would make plans, carry them out step by step and savor the brief satisfaction when they were accomplished, only for it to last a few hours before he moved on to the next goal. It was hard to say whether such a life was truly happy but one thing was certain: he was never satisfied.
An employee he had dismissed once cursed him. “Qin Shun, you’re truly cold blooded. To you, anyone useless doesn’t even deserve to exist in this world, do they?”
He had looked into Lin Yansheng’s circumstances.
Five years had passed and things had only grown worse, his career, his life, everything in disarray.
Why did he keep thinking about him?
Was it simply because he had never been able to have him in his youth?
If that was the case, then he would taste it.
He would resolve this lingering case that had weighed on his heart for so long.
“So,” his uncle asked, “why do you torment me?”
Qin Shun smiled. “Because I love you.”
Lin Yansheng froze, flustered and at a loss.
When Qin Shun said those words, there was not a trace of gentleness in his expression.
“Don’t say such perverse things!”
“Look at you, Uncle,” Qin Shun said. “You’re so good at wronging people. Clearly, it’s you who has been tormenting me all along yet you accuse me instead.”
Lin Yansheng suddenly stood up. “You forced me!”
“I’ve served you well, haven’t I?” Qin Shun said coldly. “You must admit it felt better than being with a woman. After all, you’re incapable in that regard, you can’t even last a few minutes with me.”
Shame and anger made Lin Yansheng tremble all over.
Qin Shun walked around the table and approached him.
He leaned down, almost as if performing a ritual and gently touched his cheek. “Uncle, think carefully. In truth, you love me too, don’t you? Otherwise, why would you keep everything that belonged to me? You’re just too bound by convention, too afraid to step outside what’s considered proper.”
“That’s nonsense! I don’t!” Lin Yansheng retorted.
He raised his hand but it was caught.
Qin Shun pressed closer, burying his face in the curve of his neck. He loved that faintly cool, bookish scent that lingered on his uncle’s body.
He brushed lightly against Lin Yansheng’s trembling cheek and said softly, “Is that really so? When I was gone, weren’t you so miserable that you fell ill? People measure the depth of love by the pain of separation. Uncle, the more it hurt back then, the more you loved me.”
Lin Yansheng was left speechless, unable to find a single word to refute him.
At that moment, Qin Shun dropped to his knees.
Lin Yansheng lowered his head, only to find that handsome, aristocratic face already lowered to a place that made his entire body tense with shame.
He hurriedly reached out, grabbing Qin Shun by the hair to stop him yet he could still feel the firm, prominent bridge of Qin Shun’s nose pressing forward.
Qin Shun understood him too well, knew exactly where his limits lay and in an instant, everything was set alight.
On the floor, Qin Shun held Lin Yansheng as though he were clutching a cherished possession.
He lay on his back, his burning skin pressed against the cold tiles.
The chill of the ceramic seeped into his spine, making it ache, until gradually, even that coldness turned warm beneath the heat of their bodies.
At first, when he heard his uncle call his name, “Qin Shun”, he deliberately went further, pushing boundaries, until Lin Yansheng lost the strength to resist. After a while, all that remained were broken, trembling sounds.
“A’Shun… A’Shun… don’t… don’t do this…”
Qin Shun’s voice came, low and unhurried. “Don’t do what? Uncle, be more specific.”
The soundproofing in the house was poor. Lin Yansheng feared someone might hear.
He could only press his hand tightly over his own mouth.
It felt as though he could hear his soul being eroded, bit by bit.
And yet, he could not deny what Qin Shun had said, everything he had experienced in his entire life did not compare to the intensity of even a single moment with him.
It was overwhelming, consuming, like a pleasure that threatened to drown him entirely.
He didn’t know how much time had passed.
At last, Qin Shun was satisfied, while Lin Yansheng collapsed in his arms like softened clay, his strength completely drained, his body slipping as if he could no longer hold himself up. His cheeks were flushed red, his pupils unfocused, his face damp with a mixture of sweat and tears.
Qin Shun leaned down and kissed his cheek.
“Uncle, you felt it, didn’t you? You love me too.”
That night,
Lin Yansheng developed a fever.
Qin Shun stayed by his bedside the entire night.
At one in the morning, a phone call came through to the study next door.
From the other end, someone reported, “Boss, Luo Yaoshan has returned to the country.”
Qin Shun replied coldly, “Understood.”
✦ ✧ ✦
Fleurveil
[Translator]
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← PreviousNext →
ChaptersChapter 1 · UncleChapter 2 · Ran AwayChapter 3 · TimidChapter 4 · DeceasedChapter 5 · Grow upChapter 6 · CharmChapter 7 · EndureChapter 8 · Biological FatherChapter 9 · ContestChapter 10 · MisunderstoodChapter 11 · BreakChapter 12 · ReunionChapter 13 · MeetChapter 14 · To clearChapter 15 · InstructionsChapter 16 · RegretChapter 17 · SecretChapter 18 · Subtle SophistryChapter 19 · GuestChapter 20 · KissingChapter 21 · Extra 1Chapter 22 · Extra 2Chapter 23 · Extra 3Chapter 24 · Extra 4Chapter 25 · Extra 5Chapter 26 · Extra 6Chapter 27 · Extra 7Chapter 28 · Extra 8