This kid, he was outright lying through his teeth.
Lin Yansheng thought to himself, feeling completely trapped, with no way forward or back.
He truly had no desire to play out such a melodramatic, cliché scene.
One could even call it a reenactment of a long broken dream.
“You arranged for me to go abroad, wasn’t it just to lure the tiger away from the mountain, so you could take the chance to deceive Lin Xiansheng? It’s already been over three months. Enough. When have you ever acted like an honorable man?”
“Don’t slander me. I respect and admire Uncle deeply, more than anything. As for you, you speak crudely behind his back yet put on a noble front in front of him. Tell me, what right do you have to demand someone from me?”
“On the grounds that I’ve known Lin Yansheng since childhood, that we are the same age. On the grounds that if one day I were to become his partner, I would at least be more legitimate than you.”
“How laughable,” Qin Shun let out two short laughs. “Your reputation is already in tatters. The things you’ve done are enough to land you in prison for hundreds of years.”
The office chair slid back and someone stood up.
“Luo Yaoshan, you keep saying you love Lin Shuoshen. What have you ever done for him? When he was studying and working to support himself, where were you? When he was drowning in debt, unable to even pay his electricity bill, where were you? Haven’t I given you a chance? Five years, I stayed away for a full five years. Was that not patience enough? If Uncle likes you, then I have nothing more to say.”
“But Lin Yansheng doesn’t love men…” Luo Yaoshan ground his teeth. “Pick any random woman off the street, no matter how ordinary and she would still be better for him than a man. To him, homosexuality is something alien. His dream is to marry, have children and build a family. How could I possibly harm him?”
Qin Shun’s voice turned cold. “How old is he now? And you’re still talking about women and marriage?”
“In these five years, nothing has come of any talk of marriage. It will only get harder as time goes on. He’s so afraid of loneliness, I can’t just watch him grow old alone.”
“If you don’t dare, then I do.”
“Lin Yansheng will never accept you.”
“How would you know if you don’t try?”
“He’ll break down. Don’t destroy him!”
“Heh. Do you really understand him? He’s far stronger than you think.”
The night deepened further.
The lights had been forgotten, left unlit. Beyond the glass window, the sky was a dark, heavy blue. A thin crescent moon hung faintly, pale as a drained face.
“Accept?” Luo Yaoshan seemed tired now. His voice softened but carried a heavy weight. “People’s words are terrifying. Lin Yansheng isn’t like you. He’s spent his whole life caring about his reputation. How could he possibly accept, ”
“And you, right now, you’re triumphant, thinking you can have whatever you want but in truth, you’re not even standing on solid ground. You’ve climbed too high and you’re reckless. I know plenty of people who want you dead. If you’re looking to get yourself killed, fine but don’t drag Yansheng down with you when the time comes.”
Lin Yansheng said nothing.
He lowered his head, staring at the shadow on the floor, curled into itself, dull and gray, so insignificant.
Knock, knock.
He tapped on the door.
The conversation inside seemed to have its throat suddenly seized, cutting off abruptly.
Lin Xiansheng took a deep breath and straightened his back.
“Long time no see, Boss Luo.”
Luo Yaoshan seemed a little regretful as he quickly stepped forward. “Xiansheng, are you doing alright?”
He gave a faint smile. “I’m getting by.”
Luo Yaoshan grabbed his arm. “If you want to get out, I can help you anytime.”
Lin Yansheng’s face remained blank, expressionless. “You’ve misunderstood. A’Shun is acting out of kindness. He respects me. Besides, things are already halfway done. There’s a lot of trouble involved, ”
Luo Yaoshan looked at him for a moment. “Even now, you’re still covering for him.”
He let out a bitter smile. “I came too late, didn’t I? I’m always one step too late. I’m not decisive enough.”
Just as he was about to speak again, someone beside him suddenly snapped in fury, “Surname Luo, keep your hands to yourself!”
Lin Xiansheng hurriedly stepped in to stop him. “A’Shun, be respectful to your elders.”
Neither Luo Yaoshan nor Qin Shun looked particularly pleased.
Luo Yaoshan gave a small smile. “Still treating him like your own, I see?”
Qin Shun replied coldly, “We’re bound together as one.”
The two of them stood like needle against wheat awn, neither willing to yield an inch.
“Yansheng, I truly don’t understand you,” Luo Yaoshan said bluntly. “This kid watched you suffer right in front of him. He clearly found the swindler long ago yet pretended nothing had happened, just to take advantage of your vulnerability. How despicable.”
Qin Shun sneered. “I can’t compare to Boss Luo’s cleverness. You respect people so much that when Uncle told you not to help, you really stood by and did nothing. Letting him remain in poverty all this time. Dropping by occasionally to treat him to a meal, what’s the point? He can barely take care of himself and besides, you claim to like him yet you’ve never lacked company. Every one you pursue gets flowers, fine wine, luxury cars, then once you’re bored, you throw them away like trash. Isn’t that right?”
“That was just adult relationships. Everything was mutual, willing on both sides, getting together and parting ways cleanly.”
“Heh. Fickle and half hearted yet you pretend to be some devoted lover? Hypocritical.”
“You attend plenty of galas yourself, don’t you? Every day there’s gossip linking you to this actress or that socialite.”
“Gossip is just gossip. In my entire life, there has only ever been one person. I only want to sleep with my uncle.”
Lin Yansheng blurted out, “Qin Shun, if you keep spewing filthy nonsense, I really will tie you up!”
“Uncle, who do you actually love more?” Qin Shun asked suddenly, completely unafraid.
“I love no one,” Lin Yansheng said irritably, his head aching. “I love myself.”
“I never thought there’d come a day when I’d personally experience two men arguing over me. This is hell,” he added.
Both Luo Yaoshan and Qin Shun seemed as though their hearts had been stabbed at once, falling abruptly into silence.
At that moment, Luo Yaoshan spoke. “Perhaps… I should be a bit more forceful.”
Qin Shun raised a brow. “What are you planning to do?”
A prickle ran across Lin Yansheng’s scalp. “A’Shun, let me speak with my friend alone for a moment.”
“Impossible,” Qin Shun refused flatly. “Am I supposed to just step aside?”
“A’Shun!”
“Not a chance.”
“If it weren’t for your sake, I wouldn’t have let him in at all.”
Luo Yaoshan cut in with a smile. “Wasn’t it just so I’d slip up, so Yansheng could hear and grow disgusted with me?”
“Same to you,” Qin Shun replied. “Just returning the favor. Back then, didn’t you set me up as well, knowing my uncle was about to arrive?”
Lin Yansheng snapped, “Stop arguing!”
Silence fell once again.
He stared at Qin Shun, so angry that tears began to pool in his eyes. “What do you take me for? Qin Shun, am I just a toy for you to manipulate, with no dignity of my own? I can’t even say a few words without your interference.”
Qin Shun slammed his hand heavily onto the table.
In the end, Qin Shun relented but insisted they speak in the courtyard.
As for himself, he stood at a distance, gazing out through the window.
Lin Yansheng spoke haltingly, stumbling over his words. “A’Shun isn’t as bad as you say. He saved my publishing house, paid off my debts and even helped my mother seek medical treatment. Every single thing, he’s been incredibly attentive.”
“But he has ulterior motives,” Luo Yaoshan said.
“What could he possibly want from me?” Lin Yansheng gave a bitter smile. “I’m not young anymore. I’m still a man. I have neither talent nor beauty.”
Luo Yaoshan looked at him for a long time, then asked with quiet pain, “Have you already fallen in love with him, Yansheng?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know.”
“Yaoshan, I really don’t know. Isn’t it ridiculous? To have lived to this age and still not understand what love is.”
“Most people in this world are like that, drifting through life in confusion,” Luo Yaoshan said.
“I can only be certain of one thing,” Lin Yansheng said softly. “The last time he left, the pain felt like my chest was being torn apart. I’m not young anymore. I can’t endure a second time.”
Night fell.
Lin Yansheng curled up beneath the covers, half asleep, half awake.
The mattress shifted slightly.
He felt the young man’s body, like a python, warm, solid, coiling around him with practiced ease.
Even without opening his eyes, he could imagine Qin Shun sulking.
Lin Yansheng couldn’t keep pretending to sleep. He opened his eyes. “…………… What are you even angry about? You were so rude, driving Luo Yaoshan away like that. Back then, it was his money that let you go to school. At the very least, you should show some courtesy.”
Qin Shun said, “You’re always calling me ungrateful. I might as well live up to it.” Then he asked, “Uncle, how much did you hear today?”
Lin Yansheng replied, “You did it on purpose, luring me into hearing it.”
“You lie without even blinking.”
“How could I?”
“Uncle, don’t scold me.”
“I will scold you.”
He pulled him into an embrace. “See? Every time you’re angry, I can’t bear to say anything back but if I just shamelessly let you scold me like this… it makes me seem a bit like a little dog.”
He couldn’t fight, couldn’t win an argument either.
Lin Yansheng was completely out of options.
Qin Shun pulled the slender man into his arms, holding him close as he gently stroked his hair. “Uncle but today, you still sided with me. You should admit it, between us, I matter more to you.”
“…Why do you care what I think?” he asked. “I’m just someone insignificant.”
Lin Yansheng lifted his head and looked at him. “A’Shun, you should be asking yourself this, for the sake of a man, a man you yourself see as useless, as discarded by society… is it worth risking everything you’ve built up until now?”
Qin Shun froze for a moment, then smiled. “It won’t be destroyed. Uncle, I have to protect you.”
As he spoke, he leaned down and kissed him.
It was only a brief touch of lips.
But he immediately noticed the difference, Lin Yansheng did not clench his teeth shut.
Lin Yansheng saw him standing there in a daze, eyes unblinking, his face flushed as though it might burst from the heat. That face, which could be so shameless and composed when acting mischievous, now looked almost overwhelmed with joy, even shy at the mere meeting of their gazes.
“Uncle.”
“…Mm?”
“I want to kiss you.”
Lin Yansheng gave no clear response.
Qin Shun moved carefully, his hand still cradling the back of his neck, as if afraid he might pull away. Slowly, cautiously, he leaned in to kiss him.
Lin Yansheng had almost no experience with deep kisses.
To him, it always felt unhygienic, lacking in restraint.
Strange.
They had already been physically close many times.
They had even kissed several times before.
But those had all been when he was asleep, A’Shun would often steal soft, fleeting kisses from him.
When Qin Shun’s warm, damp tongue slipped in, Lin Yansheng reacted disgracefully, like an inexperienced student, trembling uncontrollably as the blood vessels near his ears throbbed wildly.
The soft membrane of his upper palate was gently licked, sending a tingling, itching sensation through him, before Qin Shun’s tongue entangled with his own, the kiss turning feverish, chaotic and drawn out.
So it begins again.
He thought.
To be honest, he couldn’t understand why this pale, unremarkable body of his held such a strong attraction for Qin Shun.
No one had ever desired him with such intensity.
What meaning was there in two men doing such things?
He wondered.
And yet, in that very instant, he suddenly felt that love, regardless of whether it was good or bad, surging all at once, filling the hollow, pitiful emptiness within his soul.
When he took Qin Shun in, he had made up his mind.
Back then, he had thought that perhaps one day he would marry, perhaps divorce but no matter what, he would remain family with A’Shun for a lifetime.
Now everything was in complete disarray.
Qin Shun kissed him like a man possessed.
His head burned, his thoughts scattered, his mind slipping out of control.
Forget it.
Let it be.
Life was nothing more than this.
Whether admired by thousands or condemned by all, it was still just living.
Sleep and the world would reset.
Tomorrow, the sun would rise as always.
The End
✦ ✧ ✦
Fleurveil
[Translator]
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← PreviousNext →
ChaptersChapter 1 · UncleChapter 2 · Ran AwayChapter 3 · TimidChapter 4 · DeceasedChapter 5 · Grow upChapter 6 · CharmChapter 7 · EndureChapter 8 · Biological FatherChapter 9 · ContestChapter 10 · MisunderstoodChapter 11 · BreakChapter 12 · ReunionChapter 13 · MeetChapter 14 · To clearChapter 15 · InstructionsChapter 16 · RegretChapter 17 · SecretChapter 18 · Subtle SophistryChapter 19 · GuestChapter 20 · KissingChapter 21 · Extra 1Chapter 22 · Extra 2Chapter 23 · Extra 3Chapter 24 · Extra 4Chapter 25 · Extra 5Chapter 26 · Extra 6Chapter 27 · Extra 7Chapter 28 · Extra 8