Cui Jingci’s strength was greater than she had imagined. Huai Zhi usually did chores at home—she was thin, but not weak.
When her grandmother had been bedridden with illness, she had been able to wash and change her bedding all by herself.
But Cui Jingci’s strength was greater than she had thought. He pressed her down directly, and she couldn’t move at all.
The two of them quickly switched positions, and she ended up lying beneath him.
The process could only be described as extremely difficult.
To recount it, it didn’t even take the span of a quarter-hour.
At first, he nearly missed the right place. After finding it, he couldn’t align properly. It was Huai Zhi, her face flushed red, who watched him fumbling about and helped guide him in with her own hand. He seemed as though he had never experienced such a thing before. It was difficult from the very start, and Huai Zhi truly could not take him in—it felt like being split by a blade. Her face immediately turned both red and green with pain, and with his hand pressing down on her waist, she couldn’t move at all.
She had braced herself to endure this torture.
But in the end, the man couldn’t manage more than a few thrusts before he was spent. Huai Zhi suddenly felt something spill inside her, and then she saw Cui Jingci pull away with an ashen face and head to the washroom.
The whole thing was so quick that not even a few breaths had passed. Even after he had left, Huai Zhi stared at the blood beneath her, still dazed.
From the looks of it, his body really wasn’t up to much.
She had seen dogs mating before—the act between humans and dogs wasn’t all that different, and she supposed it was much the same. Though she had never been with another man and didn’t know how a normal man should perform, she had heard plenty of crude talk in the village alleys and had occasionally stumbled upon sordid affairs. She wasn’t entirely ignorant.
So she concluded that Cui Jingci truly was impotent.
When Cui Jingci emerged from the washroom, his face looked even more ashen than before. Huai Zhi knew this was rather awkward, and that he had probably suffered a blow to his pride. She asked softly, “Young master, are you alright?”
Cui Jingci lay down on the bed and turned over, appearing not to want to acknowledge her.
Huai Zhi thought he was brooding over his wounded pride, and she didn’t feel embarrassed herself. She carefully pulled out the blood-stained cloth and set it aside. Just then, Cui Jingci turned back to look at her, his tone as gentle as usual. “I didn’t hurt you just now, did I?”
Startled by his sudden question, Huai Zhi thought back to what had just happened and still felt both shame and fear. But few people ever cared about her, and she didn’t dare complain too openly, afraid that putting on airs would annoy him. She only said, “It… it hurts a little bit.”
Cui Jingci showed no intention of asking further. He glanced at her and said flatly, “I’ll have someone bring you medicine.”
Huai Zhi felt it would be an inconvenience to him, and also to the maidservants who were about to rest in the middle of the night. She quickly said, “No, no need. It doesn’t hurt that much.”
That night, lying in bed, Huai Zhi found herself unable to sleep no matter how she tossed and turned. When Cui Jingci kept his clothes on, he did look somewhat frail. But once those clothes came off, he seemed to become a completely different person. She could feel that his physical strength was clearly considerable… How could someone like that be a sickly invalid?
The more Huai Zhi thought about it, the more something felt wrong. She was timid by nature, and after mulling it over, her thoughts somehow drifted toward ghosts and spirits.
Though this eldest young master appeared cold and aloof, there did seem to be something eerie about him. If he was so different on the inside from how he appeared on the outside, could he be a male ghost who fed on women’s vital essence? Perhaps the Cui family wasn’t seeking a bride to cure his illness—but to take a life?
Huai Zhi could not read, but she had heard the storytellers spin tales of strange spirits and odd happenings. In this deep, gloomy night, she nearly frightened herself out of her wits, her heart pounding as if it might leap from her throat.
Cold sweat soaked her body. Huai Zhi tossed and turned, afraid to fall asleep.
Then, she heard Cui Jingci, lying beside her, let out two faint coughs.
Huai Zhi dared not move any further, fearing she might wake him.
She hurriedly tried to comfort herself—if she had married that Young Master Liu, she would probably have died even more miserably than now. At least this was somewhat better. Being killed by a person or being killed by a ghost made little difference. And so she lay there, drifting off to sleep in a state of anxious dread.
Huai Zhi was accustomed to rising early. Back home, she would occasionally help her father with farm work, and when she grew a bit older and learned needlework, she would follow her mother to the embroidery workshop. When her grandmother lay ill and coughed harshly in the mornings, it was always Huai Zhi who rose early to pour her water. She had long been used to waking at the first light of dawn.
When she woke, Cui Jingci was still asleep. She dared not move, lying stiff and tense until the hour of Chen, when he finally stirred awake.
Seeing him awake, Huai Zhi moved to attend to him. Cui Jingci, having slept, had likely forgotten that he had taken a wife the day before. Finding an extra person beside him, he was momentarily taken aback.
Once he recollected himself, he raised a hand to stop her. “No need. I can manage myself.”
Her hands were not nimble—yesterday, she had nearly tied his sash into an impossible knot.
The two then sat down together for breakfast.
At home, Huai Zhi always ate in small bites. It was not for the sake of dieting, but because her family had little money and only so much food. Counting her younger brother, there were five mouths to feed. Her brother and father ate the most—her father needed strength for the fields, and her brother was a boy. Huai Zhi ate the least, splitting an ordinary mouthful into two, and was always the first to leave the table.
The Cui household’s fare was lavish. Even for a simple breakfast, there were four dishes of pickled vegetables, along with soup dumplings, jujube paste cakes, and congee. This was Huai Zhi’s first meal in the Cui residence, and her eyes went wide taking it all in. Seeing her eat so little, Cui Jingci said, “Why do you eat so little? You are already very thin.”
Indeed, in the capital there was a fashion for slenderness as beauty, but Cui Jingci did not care for such trends. Though whether he liked it or not made little difference.
There had been a period when Cui Jingci was exceedingly arrogant. It was only at the age of twenty, when his father refused to let him kill his younger brother, that he began to realize—oh, the world did not actually revolve around him.
So whether people were fat or thin had nothing to do with him.
But Huai Zhi—she was his wife. He did not like how frail she was now.
Last night, when he had entered her, her face had crumpled, her complexion ghastly, clearly in great pain.
Too thin. She could not withstand much.
Cui Jingci smiled, his expression kind, and said in a gentle voice, “If you can eat more, then do so.”
Naturally, Huai Zhi was delighted to hear this. She had often gone hungry. On the first meal after marrying, her husband told her to eat more. She felt no embarrassment—thinking of how he had thrust into her last night, she felt she deserved some compensation. So she earnestly replied with an “Mm,” and said, “I will eat more.”
Cui Jingci urged her to eat more, yet he himself set down his chopsticks early.
There would be the tea ceremony to attend to shortly. After rinsing his mouth, he began to tell Huai Zhi about the household.
The head of the Cui family served in the Grand Secretariat, with two branches of descendants beneath him. Cui Jingci’s father, Assistant Minister Cui, was the eldest son. His first wife—Cui Jingci’s mother—had passed away long ago, and the current mistress of the eldest branch was a second wife. His relationship with his stepmother could only be described as lukewarm, and she had a son and a daughter of her own—the daughter fifteen, and the son nineteen this year.
Cui Jingci lowered his eyes and said, “My family situation is somewhat complicated. Though we live under the same roof, I don’t have much to do with them on ordinary days. If you find it hard to get along with them, there’s no need to say much about it.”
The food at the Cui household was a little too good. Everything Huai Zhi had eaten in her entire life didn’t seem to compare to this morning’s breakfast. Before she knew it, her mouth was stuffed full. Hearing Cui Jingci’s words, she chewed quickly, swallowed, and nodded without hesitation.
Cui Jingci looked at Huai Zhi before him. Her hair had been done up in a married woman’s bun, and her face was lightly rouged—all arranged by the maidservants. Her cheeks were round and full; though she was clearly eighteen, there was still a hint of childishness about her face.
Cui Jingci said, “You may not have been well-versed in the rules at home before, but since you’ve come to the Cui family, be careful in your conduct, and don’t give others cause for gossip.”
Huai Zhi might not need to know everything, but he didn’t want her to understand nothing either.
Huai Zhi was momentarily stunned by Cui Jingci’s words, but quickly grasped his meaning—he might be saying that she lacked proper manners.
Her origins were humble; these great households were something she could never have touched in a lifetime. Since she had married him—even if it was to ward off misfortune—she couldn’t bring shame to his name. Huai Zhi swallowed the food in her mouth and said, “Alright, I’ll be careful.”
When they arrived at the main hall, Assistant Minister Cui and his second wife, Madam He, were already there. Also present were the younger brother and sister Cui Jingci had mentioned earlier. The older of the two, the Fourth Young Master of the Cui family, was already married, and his wife was sitting beside him, sizing up the couple.
From the cool tone Cui Jingci had used when mentioning them earlier, Huai Zhi knew that their family relations were probably not close. Among the whole household, Cui Jingci seemed to be close only to his grandfather.
Before the marriage was settled, the old man had looked her over. Only after he gave his approval did she marry into the family.
Everyone was scrutinizing the new bride. Huai Zhi had never seen such a situation before. She kept close to Cui Jingci’s side, head lowered, not daring to make a sound.
According to custom, the new bride served tea to her parents-in-law. It went smoothly enough with Assistant Minister Cui. Soon after, Huai Zhi brought a cup of tea and offered it to Madam He.
Seeing that the cup had landed steadily in Madam He’s hands, she began to withdraw her own.
But the moment she let go, Huai Zhi watched with her own eyes as Madam He’s wrist slackened. Seeing this, she immediately reached back and caught the cup, stopping it from crashing to the ground.
Having done plenty of physical work in her life, her reflexes were quick.
Afraid that Madam He might drop the teacup again, Huai Zhi kept holding it steady and refused to let go—she might as well have been feeding it to her lips.
Madam He couldn’t hold back her irritation. “I have hands. No need for you to feed me.”
Scolded, Huai Zhi gave an awkward smile and quickly withdrew her hand. She said, “I thought Mother couldn’t hold it steady.”
She kept her head lowered, so she didn’t see the glare Madam He shot her. She was only thinking—this lady of a noble house had such little strength in her hands, she couldn’t even hold a teacup steady. It was just like her grandmother, who couldn’t manage on her own.
The others present took in the scene, each forming their own private judgments. This new bride appeared to be an honest soul at first glance, but looking at how she handled matters, she was shrewd and cunning through and through.
Assistant Minister Cui completed the rites for this part of the ceremony and had no desire to linger. Looking at this new daughter-in-law, he found her far from satisfactory. Even if his son needed a wedding to ward off illness, he should not have sought out someone of such low birth—it was a disgrace to the family’s standing.
He flicked his sleeves and left. After his departure, the undercurrent of tension in the room could no longer be concealed.
Cui Jingci led Huai Zhi to their seats. No sooner had they settled than the Fourth Young Master, Cui Jingfeng, smiled and asked them, “Did Eldest Brother complete the marriage rites last night?”
That Cui Jingci’s health was poor was common knowledge, but how poor exactly, no one truly knew—they only saw that he seemed on the verge of death every single day.
Cui Jingfeng’s words were undoubtedly meant to mock him. On any ordinary day, Cui Jingci would have brushed it aside. But at this moment, recalling the events of the previous night, his expression turned sour.
He felt that his instrument, like himself, ought to be among the finest of the finest—yet it turned out to be nothing more than a decorative piece, useless in practice.
He was inexperienced in matters of the bedchamber, and his first time had been utterly without guidance, but he knew well enough that what had happened yesterday was definitely a problem.
Cui Jingci had never encountered any difficulty in his life since birth. He knew he was a prodigy, a once-in-a-century genius. Even in matters of the bedchamber, he thought, he had no need to learn—it should come to him naturally. Before entering her last night, he had thought to himself: Huai Zhi, like all women in the world, possessed nothing remarkable. Her looks were ordinary, her figure ordinary. She had thought him incapable and even suggested she take the top position and do the moving herself. Cui Jingci had thought she was easy to fool and truly lacking in experience, but there was no reason to let her take charge—he would do it himself.
Who would have thought—two thrusts in, and it was over.
Beneath him, Huai Zhi had stared at him with utter astonishment, probably having already mentally branded him as impotent. The look on her face last night—daring to be shocked but not daring to speak—had been captured in full by his eyes, and he knew exactly what she was thinking.
He was twenty-seven now, hardly young anymore. He had been feigning illness for over a year—had heaven already reclaimed his gifts?
The events of last night had been abruptly brought up and questioned in the open. Cui Jingci had no desire to revisit the memory, but he simply darkened his expression, and everyone naturally filled in the blanks with their own assumptions.
Since Cui Jingci said nothing, Huai Zhi naturally dared not speak either.
She had no habit of exposing others’ shortcomings.
He was ill—already pitiful enough—and having it brought up repeatedly only poked at his wounds.
Cui Jingci said he was feeling tired, and the two of them left the gathering early. He still held an official post, but due to his poor health, he only handled minor duties at the yamen. The young emperor, showing him consideration, had even excused him from attending the morning court.
Yesterday had been his wedding day, and the yamen had specially granted him several days of leave, telling him there was no rush to return to duty.
The two walked back together toward Lanchun Courtyard. Cui Jingci’s pace was unhurried, and Huai Zhi followed obediently behind him—until he suddenly stopped in his tracks, as if about to do something.
Huai Zhi halted as well. “Young Master, is something the matter?”
Cui Jingci’s complexion looked the same as always—not particularly good. He turned to look at Huai Zhi, his expression cool and detached, but his tone was still gentle. His voice was low and magnetic as he said, “Huai Zhi, come walk beside me. You are not a servant—there is no need to trail behind me.”
He had married a wife, not acquired a little tail to follow him wherever he went.
Huai Zhi was still not quite accustomed to the fact that she was now married, and that the man before her was her husband. At his words, she realized that her behavior was indeed too timid, even to the point of being furtive. She mumbled a response and quickly walked to his side.
Cui Jingci then said, “Also, Huai Zhi, since you and I are now married, there is no need to address me so formally as ‘gongzi.’ You may call me ‘langjun,’ or you may use my courtesy name, Xuanshuang.”
“Xuanshuang?”
Huai Zhi savored Cui Jingci’s courtesy name, finding it quite pleasant to the ear. Fearing she might forget it, she earnestly repeated it once more.
Cui Jingci heard his courtesy name uttered from her rosy lips—once was not enough, she said it again, as if saying it one less time would make her forget it.
Truly, she was slow-witted.
A faint curve lifted the corner of his mouth.
Though she was slow-witted, she made up for it by being obedient. Whatever he said, she would respond with “mm,” whatever he did, she would accept, even forcing herself to eat when she could not manage more. Cui Jingci was somewhat curious—when would someone as spineless as her ever say no?