Perhaps it was her imagination, but those few words sounded gloomy and carried a chill.
Huai Zhi shivered from the cold.
But when she turned her face to look at her husband's expression, she saw that his brows and eyes were still so gentle.
Cui Jingci's lips brushed against her ear and cheek. Huai Zhi couldn't help but turn her head to dodge, but Cui Jingci's grip tightened. She lowered her head and saw the veins on his hand bulging even more prominently—he was gripping her hard enough to cause a slight ache.
"Don't move around today, alright?" Cui Jingci rubbed against her cheek again, asking with a smile, "It's been a long time since I slept with Huai Zhi. Did you miss me?"
Huai Zhi hadn't yet realized that Cui Jingci's "sleep" meant something else entirely. She foolishly nodded, saying she missed him.
Cui Jingci let out a soft laugh, studying Huai Zhi with an almost teasing expression, then stripped off the rest of his cumbersome clothing and stepped into the water.
He said, "I've been missing Huai Zhi too."
Those words fell like a declaration—tonight was destined to be anything but peaceful.
It was only at this moment that Huai Zhi finally noticed something was off, belatedly realizing what Cui Jingci had come in to do while she was bathing. Or perhaps—he'd already been thinking about that sort of thing when he told her to come in and cleanse herself first. No, maybe even earlier than that?
But then again, how would she ever know when it started?
Huai Zhi could sense that Cui Jingci was a bit rough today, a bit urgent. But surprisingly—perhaps she had already grown accustomed to it—she only felt discomfort at the very beginning, and afterward, she simply accepted it.
But he was a little too rough. The floor was completely soaked with water. Huai Zhi tried to dodge several times, tried to say she couldn't anymore, but perhaps because her mind still remembered Cui Jingci's earlier words—"don't move around"—those words seemed carved into her bones. In the end, she silently endured without the slightest resistance.
The two of them later left the bathing chamber. She thought it would be over once they left the water, but who knew it would start again.
She wanted to say she was too tired, wanted to push him away, but both her hands were easily pinned by his grip. Just as she was about to speak, Cui Jingci suddenly said, "Huai Zhi, why don't you call me 'big brother'?"
His words sounded like teasing banter, but when he looked down at her from above, the oppressive aura of one in power was impossible to ignore. Spoken from his mouth, it sounded more like a command.
A command for her to address him that way.
Huai Zhi had been about to call it quits, but Cui Jingci's words jolted her into a shiver. "What…?"
Her voice carried a damp, tearful quality as she looked at Cui Jingci, meeting his curved, smiling eyes.
Cui Jingci said, "Is that not allowed?"
He kept toying with her this way and that, and rebellious feelings had indeed stirred within her heart, but she didn't dare resist—she could only endure. Now hearing the words "big brother," she thought to herself that Cui Jingci was into such frivolous games too. He wasn't her brother after all, and at his age…
But of course, she didn't dare say that out loud.
"Huai Zhi, are you happy today? If you're willing to call me that, I'll be happy too. Wouldn't it be nice for us to be happy together?"
Cui Jingci was still half-coaxing, half-coercing her. Huai Zhi couldn't take it anymore. Her face flushed crimson as she choked out, "Big… brother…"
Utterly clumsy.
Even those two characters could get tangled up like that.
Cui Jingci's body was already beyond his control, more so than his irritation at Huai Zhi's clumsiness.
Huai Zhi's pupils froze for a moment.
In the end, Huai Zhi forgot how it had even concluded—or rather, had it concluded at all? She could no longer tell what day or time it was.
Looking at the person lying limp on the bed, tears falling unconsciously, Cui Jingci finally reined in some of his rationality. The woman's dark hair was scattered carelessly across the bed, her expression dazed and lost. He knew that the state she was in now was nearly her limit.
Cui Jingci reached out and rubbed her flushed cheek, playing the good Samaritan after the fact. He asked her, "Uncomfortable? Did I break you?"
Huai Zhi had indeed been nursing anger at him in her belly—he had been too rough, and even a clay figurine has a temper. She had resolved not to pay him any more attention, but when his palm brushed against her cheek, she subconsciously shook her head instead. Her eyes were clearly brimming with scattered tears, yet she still said, "No, it's fine."
Too foolish, Huai Zhi.
Really, you're just not smart at all.
In a situation like this, Huai Zhi, you should be crying and acting spoiled. And yet you dare to shake your head and say no? Have you truly not seen at all how deliberate this man before you is? Even after all this, you still trust him so completely.
A wife this foolish—Cui Jingci could hardly bear to think that if another man appeared before her, wouldn't she be coaxed away in just a few words?
But a wife must only listen to his words. Even if she were to be deceived, it could only be by him.
If anyone dared to snatch away or trick away the Huai Zhi he had so painstakingly fattened up, Cui Jingci would absolutely kill them.
This had nothing to do with affection. It was simply that Cui Jingci was not so generous a person, and he did not want the fruits of his labor stolen by another.
Huai Zhi used the last of her strength to lift her eyelids and look at Cui Jingci. But whether it was her imagination, she felt as though she saw a chilling coldness in his eyes—those peach-blossom eyes held an indescribable shadow. She suspected she had seen wrong and wanted to look more closely, but in the end, her strength gave out, and she fell into a weary unconsciousness.
As for what the truth was, she could not discern it in the end.
Perhaps Cui Jingci also knew he had gone a bit too far that day, for over the next two days he took the initiative to coax Huai Zhi with several gentle words. As for Huai Zhi, although she had suspected she saw something she shouldn't have in his expression that final moment, her husband's considerate tenderness toward her naturally led her to attribute it to an illusion brought on by exhaustion.
Cui Jingci, meanwhile, seemed to be busy with something lately, frequently going to seek out his grandfather.
Most of Huai Zhi's daily activities still consisted of reading and learning proper conduct. Cui Jingci said that Huai Zhi could remain ignorant of many things, but as his wife, it was best she learn a bit more—there was no harm in it. Like the tea-pouring from before, those were only the most basic rules of etiquette.
Cui Jingci's words had always been absolute law to her. As long as they weren't strange or excessive, Huai Zhi would obey most of them.
And for Huai Zhi herself, she treasured the opportunity to learn to read and write. In the past, when she passed by the schoolhouse and heard the sound of recitation from within, she had always found it beautiful. But she couldn't even get her fair share of food, let alone think about studying.
She was self-aware. She didn't even dare to let slip the slightest hint of her envy toward those who could study—doing so would only make her seem more pitiable.
She did not understand what those strangely knotted characters meant, nor could she grasp what the rules and propriety people spoke of signified, but she could clearly recognize the contemptuous looks in their eyes. Just thinking about it, she dared not do anything that might give others cause for gossip, lest she invite widespread ridicule.
Huai Zhi had long been accustomed to such things, but being accustomed was one thing—there was still some discomfort in her stomach. Yet discomfort was discomfort, and she could only endure it. And so the cycle repeated, and she could only slowly grow accustomed again, until she grew used enough that it no longer pained her.
Days passed unhurriedly for a dozen or so more, and soon it was the ninth month. The heat in the air had already dissipated considerably, and even sunny days no longer felt hot. Huai Zhi had already changed into autumn clothing.
Since parting with Ming Xi last time, she had kept thinking of her. Ming Xi had said she did not want to leave the brothel, but Huai Zhi felt she was talking nonsense.
She still remembered that when Ming Xi had first been sold to the brothel, she was only fifteen. Huai Zhi had secretly run over to find her, and seeing the wounds all over her body, she had been overcome with grief, nearly wishing for death. Ming Xi's eyes were slightly upturned fox eyes, especially beautiful—if one looked too long, one could fall right into them. Huai Zhi had always loved staring at her eyes, but that day, she could not bear to look at them at all.
A few years had passed, and Ming Xi said she was doing fine. She seemed already accustomed to that kind of life.
Accustomed? Accustomed…
That morning, someone said there was a visitor outside looking for her. With the previous incident of Meng Yan's harassment in mind, Huai Zhi's heart trembled at the news. After the tremor passed, her voice trembled too as she asked, "Who is it?"
Fortunately, it was not Meng Yan.
They said it was a young lad.
Huai Zhi thought of something and immediately ran out, then thought of something else and turned back to wrap up the pastries on the table.
Nanny Yao was just speaking with Mianmian outside when she saw Huai Zhi sweep past like the wind. Before leaving, she told Mianmian that someone was looking for her and she was going out to say a few words—no need to follow.
Nanny Yao said, "Why is the young mistress still like this? It seems all those rules were learned in vain."
Mianmian said, "Perhaps it's something urgent."
The young master had the young mistress learn rules so she could be somewhat proper and avoid giving others cause for gossip. But learning was learning—he did not press her too hard, after all, she was already eighteen, not an eight-year-old child.
Huai Zhi ran outside and found that it was indeed Xiao Deng who had come to find her. She asked him, "Why did you suddenly come looking for me?"
Xiao Deng said, "Ming Xi said she wants to see you this afternoon."
Huai Zhi asked, "Has something happened to her?"
Could it be that she had finally thought it through and wanted to ask her for help with buying out her freedom? Although it would not be easy for her to suddenly ask Cui Jingci for such a large sum of money, she would find a way—she would definitely find a way to rescue her.
Xiao Deng said, "Nothing's happened. Probably just that the weather is nice today and she wants to see you? That's just my guess."
Huai Zhi handed him the pastries. Xiao Deng looked a little embarrassed. "Sister Ming Xi already paid me for running the errand."
Huai Zhi said, "I know you like these, so I brought them especially for you."
Xiao Deng smiled and scratched his head, saying, "Thanks then."
He took the pastries and ran off.
At the time Xiao Deng had mentioned, Huai Zhi arrived at the place where Ming Xi had arranged to meet her.
They met on a pleasure boat. It was a brilliantly clear day, the sky bright and open, sunlight falling upon the emerald lake like rippling waves of fine silk. The boat drifted with the water, leaving rings of ripples in its wake, as if a breeze were brushing across satin.
Huai Zhi asked Ming Xi, "Sister Ming Xi, you sought me out so suddenly—is something the matter?"
But Ming Xi's expression was somewhat grave as she looked at Huai Zhi and said, "It is something important. Last time you mentioned your husband to me, and the more I thought about it, the more I felt something was off. I kept my ears open."
Ming Xi knew Huai Zhi's heart was simple and suspected she might be deceived. Hearing her describe Cui Jingci, and seeing the marks he had left on her body, she truly felt something was not right.
So it was about Cui Jingci…
When Huai Zhi heard Ming Xi say Cui Jingci was strange, she had actually felt the same way. Cui Jingci was unlike anyone Huai Zhi had ever met. She did not know what was going on with his body, nor why he sometimes looked at her with such a strange gaze. But Cui Jingci was clearly so gentle and so good to her, so Huai Zhi always thought perhaps she was the one overthinking, that she should not make baseless assumptions about others.
Ming Xi said, "That patron of mine—his family is not of low standing, and they have some dealings with the Cui family. When I chatted with him, I casually asked a few questions about Cui Jingci, and he did indeed know some hidden details from the past."
Seeing Ming Xi's serious expression, Huai Zhi felt an inexplicable sense of foreboding.
"What hidden details?"
Ming Xi said, "Cui Jingci's illness only came after he returned from the north. According to that patron, Cui Jingci was hale and hearty in his youth, with a rather proud temperament. Around fifteen or sixteen, he once accompanied his family to a banquet at another household. For some reason, a quarrel broke out between him and his stepmother, and he suddenly flew into a rage—he grabbed the woman by the head and shoved it into the lake, over and over, in and out, two or three times. If the servants had not rushed over at the commotion and desperately pulled them apart, that stepmother would have drowned on the spot!"
Upon hearing this, Huai Zhi was utterly stunned.
She could not connect the Cui Jingci Ming Xi described with the person she knew.
Ming Xi continued, "From what my patron told me, it would not be an exaggeration to say the Cui Jingci of the past was a troublemaker. In short, he was nothing like the one who is ill now. I do not know how much of it is true—whether my patron witnessed it himself or heard it from others. When you return, you can ask around to confirm."
Ming Xi was wondering: was it that Cui Jingci's illness had changed his temperament? Or was it that this man had always been this way, merely learning to disguise himself?
Thinking of the marks on Huai Zhi's body, she leaned toward the latter.
Ming Xi could tell that the man's lust was heavy enough to make one click one's tongue.
Huai Zhi fell silent, clearly pondering the same question as Ming Xi.
If the Cui Jingci of the past was truly like that, then those dark, deep gazes she had seen before—were they not false, but genuinely present on her husband's face? Had her gentle, kind husband been disguising himself all along?
If that were the case, then his strange, half-dead illness seemed to have an explanation. Could it be that he had been deceiving her all this time as well…
Outside the boat, a gentle breeze blew pleasantly, the sky clear and the air crisp. A light gust brushed against her cheek, and Huai Zhi was reminded of that Mid-Autumn night—the look in Cui Jingci's eyes when he last gazed at her. Suddenly, she shivered from the cold.
By now, she could be certain: it had not been a pretense. That grim, overcast expression that night had truly existed on Cui Jingci's face.