Cui Jingci had someone look into what happened to Huai Zhi today.
Jiang Li immediately went to investigate upon receiving the order, and ultimately reported to Cui Jingci what had happened—that Huai Zhi had been bullied in the rear garden.
After hearing this, Cui Jingci showed no particular emotion and returned to the inner chamber.
Huai Zhi was sitting cross-legged on the daybed, a sewing basket set before her, her head lowered as she fiddled with a sachet.
The sachet was nearly finished. She planned to ask Mianmian for some insect-repelling herbs to put inside.
Just then, a shadow fell before her eyes—Cui Jingci had returned.
During the time before he went to sleep at night, he was mostly not in the room. Huai Zhi guessed he was in the study, though what he did there she didn't know. Later, she privately speculated that Cui Jingci, being so diligent and driven, perhaps had habits formed in earlier years.
Cui Jingci had once been a formidable person—even someone as unsophisticated as Huai Zhi knew that. She had heard people speak of Cui Jingci in the past, and he was glorious as a god… of course, after he fell ill, all that remained was regret.
For him to have been so accomplished, he must have put in tremendous effort. Now that he was ill, he probably still harbored some unwillingness in his heart, and was accustomed to doing the same things as before.
Huai Zhi didn't dwell on it further. She placed the finished sachet at his waist to measure it—it was quite lovely.
She said, "In a moment I'll ask Mianmian for some Chinese herbs, and then no mosquitoes will dare bite you."
Cui Jingci had little interest in such trinkets. Hearing her say this, he merely responded perfunctorily.
More than the sachet, what he wanted to know was—why hadn't Huai Zhi told him that she'd been bullied by Cui Yongxin?
"Huai Zhi, sit down." Cui Jingci didn't intend to interrogate her. His tone was gentle and guiding, yet it still carried a hint of coaxing pressure that Huai Zhi couldn't detect. "You went out today. After you returned, did you encounter anyone in the household?"
Huai Zhi hadn't expected Cui Jingci to take the initiative in asking about this. When he brought it up, she suddenly didn't know how to explain.
Back when she was at home, whenever she and her younger brother had a dispute, her parents would blame her without hearing the full story. But little Huai Zhi didn't understand—it was her brother who had snatched her things, so why was she the one at fault? Huai Zhi had always been timid, and this made her even more cowardly. After being blamed so many times, she no longer dared to speak up, because her parents' attitude had taught her that whenever a conflict arose with others, the fault was always hers.
She had just married into this household and was very afraid of making mistakes—even more afraid of clashing with the young miss of the family and having things blow up, because no matter what, the fault would inevitably be hers.
And since Cui Jingci was in poor health, she was also afraid of causing him trouble.
When Huai Zhi heard Cui Jingci's question, she thought he must know something—otherwise, why would he suddenly ask?
Huai Zhi had already deceived him once, and she didn't dare lie about this matter. She answered truthfully: "I just ran into Miss Cui and her friends, that's all."
Cui Jingci asked her, "And then?"
Huai Zhi fidgeted, searching for the right words. Just as she was thinking, she heard Cui Jingci counter, "Huai Zhi, are you dissatisfied that your husband is useless?"
Startled by Cui Jingci's unexpected words, Huai Zhi looked up at him in surprise. His expression was dim, and that handsome, flawless face truly seemed tinged with sorrow. Before she could react further, Cui Jingci looked at her and continued, "Because I've been ill and not in good health, you don't want to tell me when something happens—is that it?"
Cui Jingci's eyes were beautiful, classic peach-blossom eyes. Even when looking at someone without feeling, they seemed full of affection. Especially now, with his long brows gently furrowed and his words and demeanor as they were, who could look at him and not feel distressed?
He was already ill—once so glorious, now only able to inspire such pity. When he brought up his own illness himself, how could Huai Zhi not find him utterly pitiable?
Afraid that Cui Jingci would be hurt and overthink, she hurriedly explained, "No, that's not it. I just didn't want to cause trouble."
Cui Jingci said, "I'm not so ill that I'm about to die."
Huai Zhi didn't know how to respond. She turned her face away, her eyes growing a little wet.
The two fell into a brief silence, broken only by the incessant chirping of cicadas outside. It was Cui Jingci who broke the silence inside, saying, "Take it off. Let me see where you're hurt."
The commanding tone in Cui Jingci's words was unmistakable, and this time Huai Zhi caught it. But she was still immersed in shame toward her husband—that guilt filled her entirely. How could she not obey him?
She was even afraid that if she delayed even a moment, Cui Jingci would grow sad and overthink again, so she quickly undid her sash.
As her clothes slipped away, faint bruises and red marks were visible on her slender, fair arms. Whether it was because her skin was too delicate or because Cui Yongxin had used too much force, the pinches from the afternoon had already turned purple by evening. Huai Zhi wore only a bellyband, the rest of her bare skin fully exposed to Cui Jingci's gaze. She kept her head lowered, not daring to look up at him. Though he couldn't see her expression, he could well imagine it—the look of a pitiful, wronged little wife.
She let him look, her hands gripping her silk trousers tightly. Somehow, tears began to fall, pattering down onto the water-red mandarin duck bellyband, quickly spreading a damp stain across her chest.
Seeing her cry, Cui Jingci reached out and brushed a tear from her cheek with his finger.
Cui Jingci didn't understand why Huai Zhi was crying so endlessly. Crying from grievance? But she hadn't seemed this wronged earlier—she'd been bullied and said nothing, even happily eating her meal.
If it weren't for Huai Zhi not trusting him, why would she hold everything in and tell him nothing? And as for why she didn't trust him—she still thought he wasn't up to the task.
If anyone should be crying, it was him, wasn't it?
"I didn't even scold you. Why are you crying so hard?"
Between sobs, Huai Zhi said, "I'm just afraid of causing trouble. I'm afraid it's my fault. Every time I got into an argument with someone, my father would hit me."
Hearing this, Cui Jingci's movements paused. He let out a cold laugh and said, "Afraid I'll be like your father?"
Huai Zhi quickly shook her head, tears scattering everywhere.
Cui Jingci wiped away Huai Zhi's tears as gently and patiently as he could, lest she flood the entire room. He asked her, "Last time you went to Lianxin Courtyard, did you feel angry?"
Huai Zhi didn't understand why Cui Jingci suddenly asked about this, but she truthfully shook her head.
She couldn't really understand what they were scolding her for, only that their words sounded harsh. Just like in her childhood, she didn't need to know what her father meant by "eating free meals" or "a money-losing good"—one look at his furious, cursing face was enough to understand.
But those women wouldn't curse and shout like her father did. Their sophisticated words and reasoning were beyond her, and she had no desire to understand them.
Cui Jingci looked at Huai Zhi. "Starting from now, you should learn to read and write. You have nothing to do at home anyway."
Huai Zhi naturally wouldn't feel angry, because she didn't understand the Cui family's etiquette, nor did she understand the sense of shame and honor they prided themselves on. Because she didn't understand, when others attacked her, she didn't even feel anger. When a person doesn't even feel anger, they become soft, kind, and easily bullied.
It was fine that she was a bit slow—that was a good thing, actually—but if she let those people bully her without even getting angry, that would be a disgrace to his reputation.
He only had one face, and he couldn't afford for her to go around losing it.
When Huai Zhi heard Cui Jingci tell her to study, she was momentarily caught off guard. "Wh…what?"
In Huai Zhi's impression, only boys and children from wealthy families could study. And she was already eighteen now—could she really still learn?
Cui Jingci said, "Don't want to study?"
Huai Zhi quickly shook her head.
Cui Jingci said, "Then that settles it. Don't cry anymore."
Afraid that crying too much would annoy him, Huai Zhi quickly raised her hand to wipe away her tears. She had no clothes on, and she certainly couldn't lift up her bellyband to wipe her face, so the tears all smeared onto her forearm. The more she wiped, the dirtier she got, until her whole face looked like a little tabby cat's.
Seeing that she had stopped crying, Cui Jingci's mischievous thoughts stirred again. His gaze fell on her thin bellyband, which covered nothing at all—every curve was perfectly visible.
He let out a sigh that feigned regret. "Look at you, soaked through like this. Can you even still wear that?"
Huai Zhi didn't catch that Cui Jingci wanted to strip off that troublesome bellyband of hers. "I can, I can. It'll dry soon."
Cui Jingci said, "Why don't you take it off? Huai Zhi, we've already rested for a whole day yesterday."
"Ah??" Huai Zhi was startled, even alarmed, at Cui Jingci's words.
She was slow, yes, but she wasn't stupid. She could understand what Cui Jingci was implying.
If it was going to be like this according to him, did that mean they'd have to do that every single day from now on?
Where on earth did he get all that energy?
Even if he had only first experienced the pleasures of the flesh at twenty-seven and couldn't restrain himself at the time, he should still be mindful of his own body. She could keep up with his antics, but she was worried that he himself wouldn't be able to handle it in the long run.
Huai Zhi bluntly voiced her concern. "I'm really afraid you'll die…"
Cui Jingci couldn't help but laugh, and countered, "Can't I die on top of you?"
Huai Zhi, if your husband really does die on top of you one day and becomes a ghost, he'd still be clinging to you. Tell me, what would you do then?
But Cui Jingci's joke turned Huai Zhi's face white with fear. Just imagining that scene was horrifying. She subtly shifted backward, but had only scooted twice when Cui Jingci grabbed her ankle.
His palm was cool, his long fingers coiled around her ankle like a venomous snake, his fingertips stroking it lazily now and then.
He grinned. "Just kidding. What are you afraid of?"
Huai Zhi thought, he always liked making these inexplicable jokes that scared people half to death. Not funny at all…
Cui Jingci exerted a little force and dragged her over.
The oil was on the other side of the bed, and he was too lazy to go fetch it.
He lifted her bellyband and had her hold it in her mouth, then pinched those two jujube-red buds. Huai Zhi's face instantly flushed crimson. She wanted to speak, but Cui Jingci explained in a gentle voice, "There's no more oil—it would hurt. Huai Zhi, I'm helping you."
Helping? What kind of help was this? Huai Zhi never imagined one could help someone this way.
Cui Jingci looked at Huai Zhi, able to see her slender neck. Because she was right before him, he could even see the tiny blood vessels on her neck. Huai Zhi turned her face away in shame, and gradually her eyes grew misty with tears again—yet she didn't refuse. Perhaps it was because she had never been able to refuse him, or perhaps because her saliva was too busy soaking her little bellyband to allow any refusal, so all she could do was let out tiny whimpers.
That's not right, Huai Zhi—he clearly hadn't done anything yet, so why did she already look like she was about to be ruined?
Huai Zhi cried again tonight.
Not from grievance—according to Cui Jingci's words, she cried from pleasure.
Her eyes rolled back unconsciously as tears streamed from the corners. A woman with a perfectly healthy body, she had not the slightest power to resist under the hands of this sickly man. She felt she was about to faint—and indeed she did faint. Just before she lost consciousness, Cui Jingci looked at her and asked:
"Huai Zhi, is it that pleasurable? You can't even hold back your tears and drool."
Huai Zhi felt Cui Jingci shouldn't say such things. He was so upright and gentle, and yet… and yet Cui Jingci always said such things. He asked in that serious tone, and poor Huai Zhi was still thinking that his words probably meant nothing—and if she read too much into them, then surely it was her own mind that was filthy, having nothing to do with the noble and amiable Cui Jingci.
Besides, it did seem to be her own inability to hold back.