Translator: Dreamscribe
Na-yeon was a trainee at Zero One Entertainment.
Although it wasn’t one of the Big 3 agencies, Zero One Entertainment, which Na-yeon belonged to, was still a fairly well-recognized entertainment agency in the industry. Among its senior artists was a first-tier male idol group, making it a decent agency.
And Na-yeon was the troublesome trainee of that Zero One Entertainment.
She hadn’t been a troublemaker from the beginning.
When Na-yeon first joined as a trainee, she was actually one of the trainees the company paid close attention to.
Na-yeon, who excelled in both dance and singing and even had outstanding visuals, was considered a sure pick for the debut team and was even called “the future of Zero One.”
However,
-You do well during practice, so why do you start trembling the moment evaluations begin?
Na-yeon had a major weakness. Even though she performed well during practice, she would get strangely nervous and make mistakes in situations like monthly evaluations.
At first, the company had thought, “It’s probably just nerves,” and believed she would improve over time. But when she didn’t get any better, the company gradually had no choice but to give up on her.
‘I need to change…’
Na-yeon believed that participating in this Idol Ground 100 was her last chance to change herself.
Even within the company, they had said it was a miracle that Na-yeon, who used to tremble on internal evaluation performances, had agreed to participate in a survival program like this.
But reality didn’t change so easily.
-Contestant No. 70, Kim Na-yeon. We can’t even evaluate this performance. Are you going to freeze on an actual stage too just because you made one pitch mistake?
Na-yeon, who had practiced only the entrance ceremony performance for a month, hit a pitch error right at the start before she could even show anything, and then completely froze.
Because of that, without needing further consideration, she received an F grade, and afterward, placed in Class F, she even considered quitting the program altogether.
‘Maybe being an idol just isn’t for me…’
However, the thought that her dream might truly end if she gave up now made it impossible for her to easily let go. Na-yeon, unable to sleep, headed to the practice room at dawn.
Because the only thing Na-yeon could do in this situation was to practice.
Trying to forget everything, Na-yeon endlessly sang and danced to the practice song “Spotlight,” and only returned to the dorm just before morning.
And Na-yeon didn’t notice.
“I see you.”
“Huh?”
That someone had been secretly watching her.
“I’m Lee Si-on.”
“Uh… I know. I’m Kim Na-yeon.”
Na-yeon was flustered when Lee Si-on approached her during a break in practice.
It was strange enough that she appeared suddenly and randomly said “I see you,”
‘Why is she glaring at me like that…’
but what was truly scary was the sharpness in Si-on’s eyes as if she were staring at prey.
“Why don’t you want to stand in the center?”
“What?”
“You’re good. So why don’t you step forward and keep hiding in the back?”
At Si-on’s question, which struck right at the heart, Na-yeon instinctively glanced around.
Since she had always been afraid to step forward in front of others, she had stayed quietly behind others. So when Si-on directly asked why she was hiding, she wondered if someone had been watching her all along.
“I saw you practicing in the studio at dawn yesterday.”
“You saw that?”
“I came to practice yesterday too.”
Realizing someone had seen her secretly practicing, Na-yeon’s face turned beet red.
‘See… she’s laughing at me too. Is she thinking I’m trying too hard?’
Even worse, Si-on was watching her with a sly smile, as if she had seen something amusing, making it even harder for Na-yeon to breathe.
“Commander! I have returned from reconnaissance.”
“Report.”
“All current Class F contestants said they have no objections to replacing the leader, as long as the person has the skills.”
“Excellent reconnaissance, Yun-kyung.”
“Then can I stop talking in this weird way now?”
“This isn’t a weird way of talking, I told you it’s all necessary.”
Si-on alone was already overwhelming, but then Yun-kyung suddenly appeared and began talking to Si-on in a tone that sounded straight out of the military.
At first glance, the scene looked like a skit, and only then did Na-yeon seem to relax a little.
However,
“Na-yeon, since we’re the same age, can I speak informally with you?”
“Huh? Yeah.”
Na-yeon thought, ‘Isn’t she already speaking informally?’ but she didn’t have the courage to say it out loud.
“Do you agree that if our Class F keeps going like this, we’re doomed?”
“Well…”
Na-yeon’s mouth clamped shut again at Si-on’s question.
In truth, Na-yeon also believed that if things continued like this, Class F would not escape their current state even in the next evaluation.
‘But how could I possibly tell Ga-hyun unnie to step down from being the leader?’
Even if there had been no progress, Na-yeon couldn’t bring herself to speak harshly to Lee Ga-hyun, who had taken the lead in Class F from day one.
“I think you’re the one who should be our Class F leader.”
“No, I’m not the right person for that…”
“Even if I get eliminated, I still think our Class F should at least perform a stage that looks like a proper stage.”
“…”
Na-yeon flailed her hands in surprise at Si-on’s statement that she should be the leader, but to the words that followed, she could only nod in agreement.
Na-yeon also considered this her last chance, and since she had participated with the desire to show her real ability, the feeling was strong.
“You just nod. I’ll take care of the rest.”
And when Si-on reached out her hand saying she believed in her no matter what, Na-yeon couldn’t bring herself to reject it.
***
“Unnies, guess what Na-yeon unnie did…”
During every break time, Yun-kyung was seen bouncing over to participants and chattering away.
‘That’s something you’re just born with.’
One of the things she had felt while living as a girl was that surprisingly, female groups were quite exclusive.
When placed in new environments or meeting new people, they acted open for a moment, but that didn’t last. Once groups settled, squeezing into those circles became incredibly difficult.
But right now, Yun-kyung was chatting like she had been part of that group from the beginning,
which was a skill bordering on the mystical.
Weren’t famous spies in history just like that?
With a youthful face and an easygoing personality, maybe people just didn’t feel the need to be guarded around her.
“But… do you really think I can do it?”
Then Na-yeon, who had been watching Yun-kyung flit around the other participants next to me, still looked anxious.
Earlier she had agreed in the heat of the moment with the atmosphere I had created, but her timid nature hadn’t changed.
“Alright, Na-yeon. Let’s imagine something.”
“W-what?”
“From now on, you have a bomb necklace around your neck.”
“Huh?”
There’s a concept called the “bomb necklace theory” that a famous Legend of the Valley pro-gaming team coach once said.
“If you make a mistake on the stage you're about to show the Class F contestants, the bomb on your neck explodes.”
“T-that’s way too cruel. No, I mean… if I had a bomb necklace around my neck, I’d just get more nervous…”
“Then that just means you’re the kind of person who can’t withstand pressure.”
“…What?”
At my final words, Na-yeon’s expression turned cold and stiff, as if she’d just been hit with a shock.
‘Actually, I like that expression better.’
Up until now, Na-yeon had always looked small and timid, as if she were being dragged along into my reckless but decent plans.
Every time someone said something, she’d stammer or lower her head, always the same pattern.
I had wondered if she’d always been like this, so I asked,
‘It wasn’t this bad in the beginning, but after I made a mistake during a monthly evaluation, I kept remembering the looks on people’s faces from back then, and I started to get timid without realizing it…’
She once made a big mistake on stage, and the cold looks from the company evaluators that day were such a shock that she grew more and more withdrawn.
“I’ve experienced trauma too.”
“…Really?”
Na-yeon asked in disbelief at my words.
Of course, looking at me now, it would be hard to believe I was someone with trauma, but I had indeed gone through it.
Since the day I was born, in fact.
Bang!
Ever since I was reborn as a girl, my heart would pound and my breath would catch every time I heard the sound of a gunshot.
Even if it wasn’t a real gunshot, just one from a movie, drama, or game.
At that moment, my strength would leave me, and it would become hard to breathe.
Only later did I find out that the symptoms were a form of panic disorder, but back then, it truly felt like death.
It was already frustrating enough that I had died from a subordinate’s gun in my past life, but to have that trauma carry over into this life too, it just felt so unfair no matter how I thought about it.
So back then, I even thought,
‘Alright, let’s catch and beat up that guy who is the root cause!’
But in the end, I overcame it.
Rat-a-tat-tat!!!
The solution was extremely stupid and simple.
I installed a then-trending FPS game, cranked the volume up to the max, and played.
My goal was just one kill.
Even as my breath shortened and my vision dimmed, I had decided I would not let go of the mouse until I killed at least one person.
Of course, at first I passed out while holding the mouse, and my parents banned me from using the computer. But I just turned it back on and played again.
After repeating the cycle of fainting and waking up for about two days,
Bang!
I finally succeeded in shooting and killing one person in the game.
After that, it was no big deal.
I could play shooting games, and even watch war movies without a problem.
“You said this was your last chance anyway, didn’t you?”
“…Yeah.”
“Then whether your pitch cracks or your dance goes wrong, just push through to the end.”
Of course, trauma varies by individual.
There are people like me who can overcome it with brute force, and others who definitely can’t.
But what matters is, you can only resolve trauma by facing it eventually.
Na-yeon said in her own words that she joined this program thinking it was her last chance, but her attitude still showed signs that she had an escape route in mind.
A last stand.
Then, the best thing I could do for Na-yeon was to eliminate that escape route completely.
“Commander! I’ve returned from my mission!”
“Well done, First Lieutenant Lim.”
“Uh, unnie, First Lieutenant is higher than Second Lieutenant, right?”
“That’s right. You have to serve at least a year as a Second Lieutenant to become a First Lieutenant.”
Just as I was finishing my conversation with Na-yeon,
Yun-kyung, who had completed the mission I gave her, slipped right between us.
‘Hamster?’
Popping up suddenly between us, Yun-kyung looked like a hamster, maybe because she was still growing and was small in stature.
If Soo-yeon, our roommate, felt like a squirrel, Yun-kyung definitely gave off hamster vibes.
“But Yun-kyung, what did Si-on ask you to do? She didn’t even tell me.”
Seeing Yun-kyung report to me that her mission was complete, Na-yeon looked extremely curious about what kind of mission I had given.
“Can I tell her, unnie?”
“I think it’s fine now.”
Up until now, I had strictly told Yun-kyung not to say a word to Na-yeon, so it seemed like her lips had been itching to talk.
Once I gave the okay, her lips opened eagerly as if she’d been waiting.
“Si-on unnie told me to go around and spread a rumor to the other contestants!”
“What rumor?”
“That Kim Na-yeon from Zero One Entertainment is actually super talented, but she was in poor condition during the entrance performance, so she ended up in Class F.”
“What?!”
At Yun-kyung’s words, Na-yeon’s face turned pale in an instant.
Frozen in shock, just like during the entrance stage, Na-yeon stood there stiff.
But Yun-kyung wasn’t done yet.
“And I went around saying that she’s been holding herself back, but because the current Class F situation is too frustrating, she decided to finally show her true skills!”
“Uh… ah…”
Na-yeon couldn’t even form proper words now, only stammering with her mouth open.
‘If only I had a fan… it would’ve been perfect.’
Looking at Na-yeon’s completely overwhelmed expression, a result of being caught up in my last stand strategy, I felt deeply satisfied.
With the escape route cut off this thoroughly, only two options remained for Na-yeon.
Either overcome her trauma and show her real ability, or be labeled a liar and a bragger. One or the other.
‘Don’t worry. If we go down, we’ll go down together.’
Of course, as the executor of this operation, I was prepared to fall with her if things went south.
And Yun-kyung too, for good measure.