Translator: Dreamscribe
“We might get criticized a bit for this.”
"For Si-on?"
"For Si-on, and for us too."
It was Jung-yoon, shaking her head and raising both hands with a look that said, “I don’t know anymore.”
Hye-ryeong also understood Jung-yoon’s attitude.
-Si-on, to be honest, I don’t think you have the skill to deserve a Grade A yet. But comparing the performace you showed at the entrance ceremony to today’s performace, your growth rate and the unique charm only you possess is what earned you this grade.
It was a bold decision that Hye-ryeong and the other judges had come to after deep and repeated deliberation.
Promoting Lee Si-on to Grade A was clearly a decision that had potential for controversy.
“But even if we get criticized, I still want to see it happen once.”
“I agree with that too.”
“I still think it’s too early for Grade A, but if I were producing a girl group, she’s definitely a contestant I’d pick.”
Hye-ryeong had strongly recommended her, Yoon-Jeong was neutral, and the producer Ahn Sung-ho had opposed it. With the sides evenly split, the decision to promote Lee Si-on to Grade A ultimately passed.
Although there were differences in opinion among the judges, when it came to Lee Si-on’s growth rate and potential, they agreed she was at least on par with, if not superior to, the other Class A contestants.
‘I couldn’t say this since it would be a big deal if it went on air, but...’
After finishing the shoot and getting into the van to head back, Hye-ryeong replayed the performances in her mind.
Among them, the two who stood out the most were Ryu A-yeon, who had taken the center position in Class A, and Lee Si-on, who had taken the center position in Class F.
And there was something she couldn’t bring herself to say to others, fearing it would seem too biased.
‘Si-on’s center performace was more captivating than Ryu A-yeon’s.’
Though Ryu A-yeon had led the center with flawless skills worthy of debuting as an idol already, it was Lee Si-on’s performance, who had been a little clumsy yet clearly led all of Class F, that Hye-ryeong found more compelling.
***
I’m fucked.
Trying to recall the last time I felt like this, I think it was when I got my college entrance exam results with an average of Grade 5.
I’d been so tormented then, knowing my mom wouldn’t leave me alone once I got home.
Now, standing in front of the practice room where Class A had gathered, those memories came rushing back and made me feel down.
Grade A.
Despite receiving this astonishing result, which only 20 out of 100 participants could achieve, I felt more fear than joy.
‘Did I show the judges something wrong? Or is this my aunt’s scheme?’
I’m someone who can evaluate myself objectively.
I think I did fairly well in the performance Class F put on, but if someone asked whether my skill was on par with the Class A contestants, absolutely not.
‘This grade is awarded because participant Lee Si-on’s passion, which was mentioned during the entrance ceremony stage, wasn’t just words, it showed in the results. This Grade A is given with the belief that she will continue to do well.’
At first, I thought they were filming some kind of hidden camera prank on me, but when I heard the reason for selecting me for Grade A, I realized this was the result of my own doing.
I suddenly recalled my aunt’s face, which I’d glimpsed earlier during the shoot in the auditorium.
– Hey, just smile! I’ll double your allowance! I’ll give you twice as much!!
When I was flustered by the unexpected Grade A and didn’t know how to react, my aunt, who was behind the camera, had silently screamed at me in panic.
And hearing the promise of double allowance, I had flashed a big smile like I was possessed.
Creak.
“What are you doing? Let’s go in.”
“Yeah... I should.”
As I stood awkwardly, unable to open the door in front of the Class A practice room, Na-yeon beside me seemed frustrated and just turned the doorknob and opened it in one go.
Only three of us had been promoted to Class A after this mid-term evaluation.
Na-yeon, who had come up from Class F with me, and
“Hello, I’m Park So-yoon. I moved up from Class B. We’re now Class A together, so let’s do well!”
A contestant named Park So-yoon, the only one from Class B to be promoted to Class A.
‘What is this weird feeling?’
Though she greeted me and Na-yeon with a bright smile and cheerful energy, there was something strangely unsettling about Park So-yoon.
‘Kim Mu-sik?’
And then I realized why I had felt such unease when I saw Park So-yoon.
– Second Lieutenant Kang, welcome to our company. Let’s work well together, okay?
Kim Mu-sik, my first company commander during my military days.
Captain Kim, who was nicknamed “Stupid” among the soldiers, was well-known for always smiling brightly.
Of course, smiling isn't a bad thing, but the problem was that Kim Mu-sik had a nasty hobby of screwing people over while smiling, which made him a real piece of work.
Even I had suffered so much because of him, that smiling bastard who dumped all his responsibilities on me and went home.
And whenever he made a mistake, he'd throw his own company officers under the bus one by one like crocodile feed, which is why he's still one of the beep- bastards that I remember to this day.
Now, I was seeing that same Kim Mu-sik in Park So-yoon.
“What’s with your eyes again?”
“Hey, what do you mean 'eyes'? You know you’re on camera, right?”
“...Let’s talk later when the cameras are off.”
As I was observing Park So-yoon with my Sharingan, Kim Na-yeon once again scolded me.
At this point, she was treating me like a punching bag, and I couldn’t help but feel deeply frustrated.
“Lee Si-on, we’re here representing Class F. We can’t let them look down on us.”
“True.”
I had thought Na-yeon was calm, since she hadn’t reacted much on the way to Class A’s practice room, but I guess I was wrong.
Her eyes, as she talked about carrying the responsibility of representing Class F, were burning with determination unlike before.
‘I’m sorry for hitting you back then. But I think thanks to you, our whole Class F got to move up.’
‘Si-on, I really think you’re talented. You’ll do great in Class A too!’
‘Unnie!!! No, Captain! You can’t leave me behind!! I’ll go with you!!’
After the grade adjustments, our Class F had a short farewell.
It was only for a week, but since we’d struggled together, we’d grown attached. Even though it wasn’t a complete goodbye, just a class division, it still felt somewhat sad.
Especially with someone like Yun-kyung, who clung to my leg crying about how I could leave her behind and go to Class A, making it a hassle to shake her off and come here.
And.
‘...At first, I thought you were looking down on me. I felt like I had become useless, and it was really hard. But when I took a step back, I saw things more clearly. I don’t think I would’ve understood it all if it weren’t for you.’
– Thank you.
Just as I was about to leave after saying goodbye to the other Class F members, Lee Ga-hyun approached me alone and said those words.
I had thought it would’ve been natural for her to resent me, so hearing that from her was unexpected, and the complex emotions it stirred still made my heart feel uneasy.
“Just because they’re Class A doesn’t mean they’re any different! They’re the same trainees as us! Let’s do this!”
“Yeah, let’s do it!”
“We got here through evaluation too!”
Now it was time to enter the Class A practice room.
The three of us who had been promoted to Class A gathered in front of the door, joined hands, and gave a cheer of encouragement before stepping through the open door into the practice room.
‘Yeah, like Na-yeon said, the Class A people are just trainees like us! Let’s give it a shot!’
With that inner resolve, I walked toward where the Class A members were gathered.
***
“Kim Mi-young... damn you, Kim Mi-young!”
“Unnie, why are you hitting the pillow again?”
After dinner, I had returned to the dorm and was now endlessly beating up a pillow on my bed, imagining it was my aunt.
Soo-yeon, who saw me, was alarmed and tried to stop me, but I just couldn’t hold it in.
‘Just because they’re Class A doesn’t mean they’re any different! They’re the same trainees as us!’
Na-yeon, who had said that, was someone I now wanted to punch too.
“Did something happen during Class A practice?”
“...No, nothing happened.”
It wasn’t a lie.
The first practice session in Class A had no issues.
The problem was me.
‘Was the gap this big?’
There’s a saying about the peak of ignorance.
When you start something for the first time, you know nothing about it, which is why you can actually approach it with confidence.
Even when you see people who are good at it,
you think,
‘If I give it a try, I can probably do that too, right?’
That’s how you throw yourself into it.
But once you get interested, and start learning a little, you inevitably come face to face with something.
Your own ignorance.
‘Didn’t our foot angles go off just now?’
‘We need to split the beat one more time before going into this part.’
‘Let’s pay attention to the vocal harmonies. I think Si-on’s voice is sticking out a bit too much right now.’
The theme song Spotlight, which I had sung and danced to hundreds of times over the past week, my thought that I had become somewhat proficient was far too arrogant.
‘I didn’t know the difference between Class F and Class A was this big.’
When Trainer Lee Jung-yoon had previously taken us to observe Class A’s practice, my impression had simply been that they were good.
Now, I could see why they were good.
In Class F, we’d argue whether our basic movements matched or not, but here, they analyzed every detail, when the choreography began and ended in relation to the beat.
At first, I wondered what kind of difference that would even make and thought they were just being overly particular, but as I practiced alongside the Class A members, I keenly felt how those small differences made a huge impact when viewed on stage.
And that wasn’t all.
Even Na-yeon, who had led us in Class F with overwhelming skill, was now struggling just to keep up and do her part.
That gave me a feeling close to fear.
Especially Ryu A-yeon and Seo Ryu-jin.
‘Ah, Wh-? Those two are, well, they're just really good.’
Is this what real idols look like?
Ryu A-yeon, at the center, shone so brightly even among the elite members of Class A that it was hard to take my eyes off her.
In Seo Ryu-jin's case, it was as if she were the original artist, showing a perfect performance of the song without a single slip from the beginning to the end of practice.
“Soo-yeon, how many years have you been a trainee again?”
“Uh... three years. Why?”
“Then after basic steps, what do you usually learn?”
“Basic steps? Usually, after that you start learning genre dances, or you improve by covering choreography from actual idol groups.”
Genre dances?
I gave her a puzzled look, not understanding what she meant, and Soo-yeon calmly continued explaining.
“There are a lot of dance types? But most idol trainees usually learn hip-hop or urban styles, and sometimes, in famous agencies, they even have you learn contemporary dance.”
Come to think of it, even games have dozens of genres like LoL, RTS, AOS, so it’s only natural dance would be just as varied.
“Teach me.”
“...Huh?”
“I’m definitely copying the movements exactly, but for some reason, when I do them, it just doesn’t feel the same as when Ryu A-yeon or Seo Ryu-jin does.”
Soo-yeon looked at me with a stunned expression.
As if to ask, “Are you serious?”
‘I guess I have to admit it.’
To be honest, until now, I wasn’t trying to get good at performing because I loved it, I was just embarrassed about getting an F grade, so I worked hard out of shame.
But after doing the mid-term evaluation performance, that thought began to change a little.
It was fun.
At first, I couldn’t do the choreography or the song at all, but with others, we worked together to put on a halfway-decent performance, and that made me happy.
Learning things I didn’t know, singing and dancing, and feeling myself improve bit by bit, I couldn’t deny that I was getting hooked on it.
More than anything.
‘Well done.’
The judges, who had harshly criticized us just a few days ago, were shocked by our changed performance and actually praised us.
When the other contestants and staff watching from the back gave us applause, I felt this inexplicable, electrifying sensation all over my body.
It was the first time I’d felt something like that.
Even when I played games,
Even when I watched dramas,
Even when doing all the things I used to enjoy, none of them could match that overwhelming feeling.
And I decided to admit it, I want to feel that emotion again, stronger, and more often.