Fang Jinxian walked to the opposite side of Yu Qijian and sat down. He poured himself a cup of cold tea and drank it in one gulp before saying expressionlessly, “You got along well?”
Yu Qijian processed the meaning of the question for a moment and answered honestly, “I wouldn’t say we got along well in a deep sense. It’s all quite literary and refined, but his ideas are quite interesting. Also, it’s the first time I’ve met a man who can play the pipa… though I haven’t met many men in the first place… his singing is also decent. The ancient-style songs from my world would probably suit him perfectly. It’s a pity I’m tone-deaf, or I could’ve taught him, but that would be too much trouble…”
She rambled for a while before suddenly asking, “What’s wrong? Did the Yu Clan bite the bait?”
Fang Jinxian held the cold cup, eyes half-lowered. “The Yu Clan wants to interfere in the Jiangnan salt tax. At the next court assembly, the Lin Family will use this as grounds for impeachment.”
His mind was not on the topic. After a few words, he no longer wished to elaborate, and instead said meaningfully, “Stage plays are trivial matters. It is enough for His Majesty and Your Majesty to enjoy them. Human hearts are unpredictable, and performers are especially adept at deception. Your Majesty should not be misled by appearances.”
His tone was rigid and methodical, each word clearly enunciated, yet devoid of emotion.
Yu Qijian listened, confused. “Does Yue Jilian have a problem?”
Fang Jinxian felt something stuck in his chest. Without thinking, he let out a faint “Mm,” barely audible through his nose.
“Then don’t let him enter the palace anymore,” Yu Qijian said without hesitation. “We don’t need to watch the play either. My life is more important.”
Seeing how much she valued her safety, Fang Jinxian finally felt a bit more at ease. Yet he still could not stop himself from asking, “You’re willing? Didn’t you like that Yue Jilian very much?”
“Like?” Yu Qijian reflected briefly. She did not think she had given that impression.
But there was nothing strange about it. With Yue Jilian’s appearance, it would be more surprising not to look twice.
Then, as a sudden thought crossed her mind, she leaned closer and asked in a low voice, “Can I keep a young male consort in the future?”
Fang Jinxian: “……”
His expression darkened so much it looked like he was questioning whether she wanted to live or not.
Yu Qijian quickly shrank back, awkwardly laughing. “No? If not, then forget it. I was just asking casually… why are you so fierce…”
She felt wronged. In her previous life, she had never dated. In this life, she had died young, become a stepmother in the palace, and had even less opportunity to think about romance.
Fang Jinxian gritted out, “During national mourning, Your Majesty still has such leisure.”
Yu Qijian muttered, “You also know I never even met the Late Emperor… what a pity, I’m still so young… but I haven’t thought about dating all these years anyway, so there shouldn’t be anything to worry about.”
Fang Jinxian took a silent breath, forcing himself to stay composed. “So what, do you intend to take Yue Jilian as your consort?”
Yu Qijian laughed. “No.”
“Then why are you smiling?”
“It’s just funny.”
Fang Jinxian: “……”
He lowered his head slightly, suppressing his irritation. “Rites, propriety, and the eyes of the court—whether you want it or not, it is not up to you.”
“Fine,” Yu Qijian said carelessly. “I know. I’m the Empress Dowager. I won’t think about it then.”
“That’s good,” Fang Jinxian said. Afraid he might say something sharper, he stood up and left with a stiff, “Rest early.”
Yu Qijian remained alone in the warm pavilion, staring at the flickering candlelight for a while.
“Completely incomprehensible…”
She shook her head and decided not to think about it anymore. Better to consider how to deal with the Yu Clan instead. How should she act at the next court assembly to play the role of a “righteous, family-denouncing Empress Dowager” without breaking character?
Late at night, the world was silent.
Palace lanterns swayed in the night wind and rain. In the courtyard, bare branches rustled, and in such a rainy night, damp things quietly rotted.
After finishing his duties, Fang Jinxian went to bathe around midnight.
When he emerged from the water, he walked barefoot, leaving wet footprints with every step. The vast bath chamber held only him alone. Steam still lingered, yet he felt cold.
He stood before the large bronze mirror and stared at his reflection.
His skin was pale, his muscle lines smooth and well-formed—an attractive male body by most standards.
But beneath the waist, a hideous scar cut across him, constantly reminding him of his incompleteness.
Fang Jinxian looked at himself for a long time.
Then, slowly, the corner of his lips lifted into a faint smile.
Cold, thin, and almost cruel—mocking the person in the mirror.
What were you dreaming of?
You are not even a complete man.
You said not to be shaken by her. Yet the consequences were exactly like today—humiliation laid bare.
And yet…
“I can’t help it.”
He calmly dried himself, dressed piece by piece, and walked back to his quarters under the night rain with an umbrella.
The next day, after Zhao Yan finished his morning lesson, Yu Qijian went as usual to Hong Palace to play with him and ask about his studies.
As soon as she entered, she saw the child sitting at the desk with a tightly furrowed brow. When he saw her, his eyes lit up.
“Mother Empress, you came at the right time. Today Tutor Fu taught the story from Spring and Autumn Annals—‘Zheng Bo attacking Duan at Yan’—and I don’t understand some parts.”
Yu Qijian immediately felt a headache coming on. “What don’t you understand?”
She might not understand it either.
Zhao Yan gestured for her to sit and opened the book. “The teacher said Zheng Bo tolerated wrongdoing and already knew his younger brother Gongshu Duan was dangerous, yet still allowed him to act freely, so that he could later eliminate him with justification. But if he already knew it was wrong, why not correct him from the beginning? Why wait until it becomes uncontrollable? Isn’t that… isn’t that…”
He struggled to find the words. “Isn’t that inefficient? And it also hurts his mother’s feelings.”
Yu Qijian immediately felt overwhelmed.
How was she supposed to explain this?
Zheng Bo’s tolerance of Gongshu Duan was rational and cold—he deliberately allowed his brother to accumulate guilt so that he could later eliminate him with moral and legal legitimacy.
But telling a child “you should intentionally let your enemy grow into a criminal before destroying him” was clearly not appropriate.
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a red figure at the door and did not want to embarrass herself, so she carefully phrased her answer.
“Maybe the timing wasn’t right. Or maybe the person in charge was confused inside—pretending not to see it. In the end, a small fire became a big one.”
Zhao Yan seemed to understand. “Why would someone be confused?”
“Because the people involved are complicated, or they don’t know whether to be strict or lenient. They hesitate, and in the end, they send the wrong signal. That’s called…”
She searched for an ancient phrase. “Hesitating in decision-making leads to chaos?”
Zhao Yan suddenly realized. “Oh! Like Chief Eunuch sometimes holding a brush over a memorial for a long time without writing anything—I know that means he’s very troubled!”
At the doorway, Fang Jinxian: “……”