The next morning, Tony woke up late.
Very late.
Mostly because his alarm clock no longer existed.
He shot upright in bed, frantically feeling his face, his chest, his hair.
Normal.
Not pink.
Not a girl.
Not insane.
...Probably.
He let out a sigh of relief.
Then he looked at his phone.
His soul immediately left his body.
"Oh no!"
He sprang out of bed, tripped over his socks, nearly died, recovered with the grace of a startled deer, and began throwing on his uniform at record speed.
By the time he stumbled downstairs, his mother was waiting for him.
"Good morning, sweetheart!" she chirped.
Tony winced.
"I'm late."
She tilted her head.
"Actually, you're extremely late. The bus left ages ago."
Tony froze.
His mother smiled brightly.
"I'll drive you!"
His blood ran cold.
His mother was...
technically...
a licensed driver.
Technically.
His father looked up from the breakfast table.
Saw Tony's horrified expression.
And slowly lowered his newspaper in sympathy.
Tony whispered, "Dad..."
His father silently raised the paper back up.
Coward.
Tony sighed.
"I should get my bike helmet."
His mother laughed and grabbed his hand with surprising strength.
"No need, honey! I'm the best driver!"
Tony looked at his father.
His father refused to make eye contact.
He flipped the page.
"You told me so yourself!" His mom added cheerfully.
His father nodded without lowering the paper.
"Survival instinct," Tony muttered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing!"
Five minutes later, Tony was being dragged toward the family car.
The ride that followed was...
terrifying.
His mother drove with the confidence of a Formula One champion and the situational awareness of an excited squirrel.
Tony spent the entire trip clutching the bike helmet to his chest like a holy relic.
When they screeched to a stop in front of the school, he stumbled out of the car looking spiritually injured.
Then he glanced at the clock.
"...Ten minutes?"
His mother beamed proudly.
"See? Fast!"
Tony stared at her.
Then at the smoking tires.
Then back at her.
"I don't think the speed limit is a suggestion, Mom."
She winked.
"Love you!"
And sped away.
Tony stood there for a moment.
Then decided there were questions he simply wasn't emotionally prepared to ask.
He walked toward his locker.
Students were already filling the halls.
Everything felt...
normal.
Almost.
Then he spotted Alice.
She was walking quickly toward the far hallway, looking strangely anxious.
Which was weird.
Alice was always smiling.
Except...
her smile looked strained.
Forced.
Fake.
Tony frowned.
He took a step after her.
Then another.
Then another.
His brain finally caught up.
Wait.
Why am I following her?
He froze.
A horrifying realization crashed into him.
"...Am I stalking her?"
The answer came immediately.
AliceAliceAliceAliceAlice!!
Tony clutched his head.
"Oh, God no!"
A familiar voice echoed sweetly inside his mind.
She's right there~
Let's follow her!
"No."
She's cute~
"No!"
Maybe she's in trouble!
"STOP MAKING GOOD POINTS!"
Too late.
His legs were already moving.
Tony internally screamed as he power-walked after Alice like a man possessed.
Alice rounded a corner.
Then slipped into the girls restroom.
Tony immediately stopped.
His brain looked at the sign.
Looked at the door.
And smugly crossed its arms.
Ha!
Got you!
There is literally no way-
Poof!
Pink smoke exploded around him.
Tony looked down.
A schoolgirl uniform.
Pink blazer.
Pink skirt.
Pink ribbons.
And a pair of familiar pigtails bounced into view.
He stared.
"..."
"..."
"OH MY GOD NO!"
Inside his head, Pink screamed:
"OH MY GOD YES!"
Before Tony could stop himself...
his body marched proudly into the girls restroom.
And Tony's soul quietly left the chat.