I didn’t want to be awake.
I think I’d rather have a nightmare than be awake right now.
But awake I was.
I groaned, and turned, looking out into my room.
It was evening now, the sun just beginning to turn the air golden.
All was still as I just laid there, trying to convince myself to get up and grab the food and water outside my door.
I had no appetite.
I didn’t care that I was thirsty.
I just wanted everything to stop.
I turned back up, towards the ceiling.
A carving was up there now.
A reminder.
It was Aolai, the island, the mountain.
Dozens of little monkeys played on the beach and swung from trees.
They needed me.
I pressed my hands into my eyes and took a deep breath.
If I didn’t get the water and fruit, the generals will know I didn’t eat.
If they know I didn’t eat, they’ll come into my room themselves and try to feed me.
It would be easier if I just got the water and food now.
I still felt awful.
But I kicked off my blanket and got up anyway.
I shuffled over to the door and opened it to grab the food and water.
Something that had been leaning on the other side of the door fell in.
That something was Wukong.
He laid at my feet staring up at me in shock.
“Yue?” I scowled and went to slam the door shut on him.
He held his hands up to stop the door.
“Wait, Yue please, I need to talk to you.” He stopped the door without a problem.
Fucking Wukong and his freakish strength.
I gave up on closing the door and marched over to the bed.
I threw the covers over my head.
I heard Wukong scramble up and come over to the side of the bed.
“Yue, please, I know what happened now, please listen to me.” “Fuck off.” “Yue, you have every right to be mad, but please don’t do this.
I have some food and water here with me.
Even if you don’t want to talk to me, please eat and drink something.” I sat up abruptly.
Wukong had the fruit and water in his hands.
I grabbed the fruit and practically swallowed it whole.
Then I grabbed the cup and downed it in one breath.
I slammed the cup back into his hand and looked him in the eye.
“Get out.” He bit his lip and nodded.
He actually left without saying another word.
The door clicked shut behind him, and I felt like a hot knife had just stabbed me in the chest.
I let out a choked sob, pressing my face into the pillow.
He did this.
He did this to me, to us.
And yet I wanted to call back to him.
I wanted to let him change his story, to tell me I never left his mind while he was gone.
I just wanted things to go back to how they were.
I wanted to curl up on his chest while he purred.
I felt so weak.
I wanted him.
I wanted to give him another chance.
“Wukong?” I called out softly.
I knew he couldn’t— The door was thrown open and Wukong rushed in.
“Yue?
Do you need me?” I reached out to him.
“Hold me.
Like how you used to.” He picked me up and set me on his chest within seconds.
He started petting me, and purring.
Just like he did before he left.
But it just made me feel even worse.
I started crying harder.
The purring stopped.
“Yue please, tell me what’s wrong and I’ll fix it.
I’ll do anything to make this right.
Please just say something.” I covered my face, trying and failing to speak without falling apart.
“Why?
Why did you leave me?
I got so bad.
I needed you.
Why did you break your promise?” He pulled me in close to him, holding me tight.
“Yue, it’s… it’s all my fault.
I should’ve asked more questions.
I should have checked in on you sooner.
But I didn’t lie to you Yue.
I really was in heaven for only ten days.
I only learned when I got back that every day in heaven is a year on Shijie.” I yanked back, pushing his chest.
He let me make a little distance between us as I shouted right in his face.
“Stop lying!
How is that even possible?
Just say you forgot about me!
Just say you never cared about our marriage!” I punched his chest a few times, but I knew he couldn’t even feel them.
I broke down again instead, sobbing, flopping back down onto him.
His hand came up, as gentle as I remembered, and pet my head.
“I’m not lying to you Yue, and I’ll never ever say those things.
Not as a joke, not as lie.
Never.
I care more about you than I do myself, the world, and heaven all put together.
If I’d known this would happen, I would have never left without you.
I’m so sorry Yue.
Even if it takes the rest of my life, I swear I’ll make it up to you.
But I’m begging you, please don’t leave me.
Don’t give up on us.
That’s the one thing I wouldn’t be able to bear.
Please Yue, I’m begging you, give me one more chance.” I shouldn’t.
He’ll just hurt me again.
But I wanted to.
Oh Lunus, how I wanted to believe him.
I couldn’t help it.
I wasn’t a strong person.
“Okay.” I whispered.
“Just this once.
I’ll forgive you.
But you can’t ever leave me alone like that again.
I’ve already warned you once.
I can’t lose anything else.
Or I really will break.” His head tucked against mine, and he hugged me tight.
“I know Yue.
I promise.
I’ll never leave you again.
I’ll always be where you can reach.
I know I’ve already broken too many promises.
But I swear that was the last.” I wanted it to be the last too.
No.
I’d make sure it was the last.
We just sat there for a few minutes, as I calmed down.
Eventually, I shifted, and he no longer held me as close, letting me turn and rest comfortably on his chest.
I brought my bare wrist up and rubbed it.
It felt empty without my bracelet there.
“My bracelet.
Do you have it?” “Yes!
Yes, I have it right here.” He pulled it out from his pocket, and delicately handed it off to me.
I looked it over and sighed.
It had a dent from when I threw it down, but it wasn’t broken.
It was still wearable.
I slipped it back into my wrist and felt over the smooth inside.
Perfect for engraving.
“Wukong, I changed a lot of things while you were gone.
Did you see?” “Um, I was mostly looking for you, but there are a lot more fruit trees now.
And the palace looks good too.” “Tomorrow we’ll stop by the research and crafting division, and I’ll show you.
I want to put a formation on our bracelets.” I closed my eyes and leaned into him again.
I took a deep breath, his scent comforting me.
Grounding me.
“Formations?
You’ve been learning the Taoist arts while I was gone?” He petted me again.
His hand felt so nice… “Well, it’s less like I’ve been learning them and more like I’ve been combining them with chi and seeing what sticks.
But we’ve made a lot of progress.
You probably didn’t notice all the defensive formations when you were looking for me, but now the island is fortified.
If anyone tries to attack us, they won’t find it easy.” “Ah.
That, uh, reminds me of something I have to tell you.
We may be attacked soon.” What?
I opened my eyes, trying to process what he just said.
Then I pushed up, to look him in the eye.
“Why?” He couldn’t meet my eyes, glancing off to the side.
“I may have, sort of… abandoned my post in heaven.” I just watched him.
He… “Why?” He cleared his throat, still sheepish.
“Well, just keep in mind I’m very strong right?
So naturally, I should be given an important position.
Maybe in charge of the army or something.
But ah, I wasn’t.” “What did you do?” “Nothing!
I was assigned to the stables, and it was fine, but then I asked about bringing you over, and they said I needed a higher rank for that.
So, I asked them what rank I was, and it turns out I was at the bottom.
Which, you know I left you for that job, and when I heard that it really made me mad, so I just… left.” Lunus, give me patience.
“Wukong.
Did you start a war with heaven?” Wukong was quiet.
Trying to gauge my mood.
“Maybe?” I groaned and sat back, rubbing my face.
Of course he did.
Of course.
Not only did he come home, he brought an entire country’s worth of trouble with him.
“You need to go find the generals.
Tell them we’re initiating plan A.
Siege defense.
They’ll know what to do.
Once you do that, come back here.
Bring some more fruit.
I’m still hungry.” “Yes!
I’ll go do that right now!
I’ll be back!” He picked me up and set me beside him before hopping off the bed and rushing away, the door slamming behind him.
He probably knew that I felt about two seconds away from attacking him again.
He’s learned what I looked like when I was well and truly pissed at him.
I rubbed my temples.
Somehow, I had forgotten just how much trouble it was to manage Wukong.
I loved him, but Lunus, sometimes he was more trouble than he was worth.
I flopped back down in the bed.
It was a problem for tomorrow.
Right now, I just wanted Wukong to come back, feed me some fruit, and sleep on his chest.
Only time would tell if I made the right choice.