Xiaobao Gu Yichen came unexpectedly.
That year, Gu Yiming had just started kindergarten, and Shen Nanxing thought she could finally catch her breath. Someone looked after the child during the daytime. Although she still had to supervise his reading, coax him to sleep, and do the laundry at night, at least she no longer had to spend all day revolving around an infant. She had even begun seriously considering whether she could apply for an in-hospital training program the following year.
Then she discovered that her period was late.
When two red lines appeared on the pregnancy test again, Shen Nanxing sat in the bathroom and remained silent for a long time.
Outside the door, Gu Yiming called, “Mom, I can’t find my dinosaur stickers!”
Mother-in-law asked from the kitchen, “Nanxing, should I stir-fry greens or stew soup tonight?”
Gu Cheng'an was still at the hospital and had not returned.
The household continued running as usual. Only she was pinned in place by those two red lines.
When Gu Cheng'an found out, his first reaction was to freeze. Then he said quietly, “How could this happen so suddenly?”
Shen Nanxing looked at him without speaking.
Of course, they knew why it had happened so suddenly. Adults simply sometimes got used to calling the result an accident, as though that meant they would not have to acknowledge the negligence in the process.
But when mother-in-law heard, she was delighted. “That’s wonderful news! Yiming must be lonely as an only child. Having another child would give him company. If it’s a daughter, then you’ll have both a son and a daughter.”
Shen Nanxing touched her still-flat lower abdomen, but she was not so certain in her heart.
It was not that she did not love children. She simply knew too well what having a child meant. It meant exhausting her body once more, interrupting her work once more, having no one to wake in her place at night, and retreating once again into housework and childcare just when she had finally prepared to take one small step forward.
That night, Gu Cheng'an sat on the edge of the bed and remained silent for a long time.
“What do you think?” he asked.
Shen Nanxing asked in return, “What about you?”
Gu Cheng'an rubbed his brow. “Of course I respect you. But Mom has a point, too. Yiming really is lonely on his own. Besides, our circumstances are a little better than before. We should be able to raise another child.”
The words “respect you” sounded very nice.
But every sentence that followed already pointed in a certain direction.
Shen Nanxing lowered her head and looked at her hands. Those hands had been pierced by countless needles, pressed against the chests of patients being resuscitated, washed countless small outfits for her child, and quietly wiped away tears in the dead of night. She suddenly felt exhausted.
The next day, she went to the hospital for an examination alone.
There were many people outside the obstetrics department, and pregnant women filled the long bench. Some faces were full of anticipation, while others looked weary. Shen Nanxing sat in a corner holding her report. The doctor said the gestational sac was in the normal position, and there appeared to be no problems at present.
“If you want to keep it, come in for regular prenatal checkups. If you don’t, you need to decide as soon as possible.” The doctor’s tone was calm.
Shen Nanxing nodded. After leaving the examination room, she stood at the end of the corridor for a long time.
She called Gu Cheng'an, but the phone rang for a long time before he answered.
“I just finished surgery,” he said. “How did the examination go?”
“Normal.”
He was clearly relieved. “That’s good. Nanxing, you’ve worked hard.”
There it was again: “You’ve worked hard.”
She suddenly wanted to ask: What comes after working hard? After all this effort, would anyone truly share the burden? Would anyone take her career planning, physical recovery, sleep, and emotions into consideration as well?
But a doctor’s voice calling for Gu Cheng'an came from the other end of the phone. He hurriedly said, “I still have something to do here. We’ll talk when I get home tonight.”
The call ended.
Shen Nanxing put her phone into her pocket and slowly covered her lower abdomen with her palm.
She knew there was a high chance she would keep this child. Not because mother-in-law wanted one, nor because Gu Cheng'an thought they could raise one, but because when she saw that tiny sign of life on the report, her heart had still softened.
Yet at that moment, she also understood clearly that her body would ultimately bear the burden of this decision.
At most, others would say, “You’ve worked hard.”
But she would truly have to work hard for many years.