Shen Nanxing’s first pregnancy came in the second year of her marriage.
That day, just after finishing the day shift, she suddenly felt nauseated when she smelled the greasy fumes from the hospital cafeteria. Thinking her stomach was upset, she forced herself home and vomited again before belatedly buying a pregnancy test.
When two red lines appeared, she sat on the little stool in the bathroom and stared blankly for a long time.
Gu Cheng’an did not return until after ten the previous night. Shen Nanxing placed the pregnancy test on the table. He looked at it for several seconds, his face first blank with confusion before slowly lighting up.
“Really?”
Shen Nanxing nodded.
He embraced her with great strength, his voice slightly hoarse. “Nanxing, we’re going to have a child.”
At that moment, she truly was happy too.
But pregnancy did not make life slow down. The Emergency Department’s schedule was tight, and Shen Nanxing did not dare tell anyone right away. She was afraid the head nurse would make things difficult for her, afraid her colleagues would think she was causing trouble by adding responsibilities right after getting married, and afraid that Gu Cheng’an was in a crucial stage of his studies, with a sudden pile of matters added to the household.
During the first three months, she continued working as usual, secretly avoiding some of the heavier tasks. When there were many patients, she still had to hurry back and forth. During the worst of her morning sickness, she often vomited in the bathroom, rinsed her mouth, washed her face, and then returned to the nurses’ Station.
Xiao Zhou had not arrived yet at the time; Sister Li, a highly experienced member of the department colleagues, was the one guiding her. Noticing that something was wrong, Sister Li quietly asked, “Are you pregnant?”
Shen Nanxing nodded, her face flushed.
Sister Li sighed. “Then you’ll have to take care of yourself. The hospital won’t have fewer patients just because you’re pregnant.”
The words sounded cold, but they were the truth.
Gu Cheng’an was busy too. He was rotating through the surgical department, assisting with surgery during the daytime and writing medical records at night. Sometimes he did not return until the early hours. He had originally promised to accompany Shen Nanxing to her first prenatal checkup, but an emergency surgery was added at the last minute. She sat alone in the obstetrics corridor, watching other pregnant women surrounded by their husbands or mothers, a faint, indescribable ache stirring in her heart.
When the examination results came back, everything was normal.
She took a photo and sent it to Gu Cheng’an. After a long while, he replied: “That’s wonderful. You’ve worked hard, wife.”
It was only six words, yet they warmed her heart for a long time.
Later, when her mother-in-law learned she was pregnant, she immediately called, delighted. “This is a major event. You have to be especially careful during the first three months. You young people don’t understand these things; I have to come over and take care of you.”
Shen Nanxing actually wanted to say it was unnecessary for now and that she could still take care of herself. But Gu Cheng’an said, “Mom has experience. Let her come; it’ll make things easier for you.”
And so, her mother-in-law came.
She entered carrying bags and bundles, bringing free-range chicken eggs, red dates, dried vegetables she had dried herself, and a whole set of household rules of her own.
“Pregnant women can’t eat this.”
“Your job is too exhausting. You need to tell your supervisor to schedule fewer night shifts.”
“Cheng’an comes home late. Don’t keep giving him dirty looks. He’s a doctor—do you know how much pressure he’s under?”
At first, Shen Nanxing thought her mother-in-law was merely concerned about her. But as time passed, she realized that this concern always came with arrangements, like a gentle net slowly covering up her own voice.
Once, after returning from the night shift, she truly could not eat the soup her mother-in-law had stewed. She only wanted a little plain rice porridge. Her mother-in-law’s expression immediately darkened. “I stewed it first thing in the morning. You can’t just refuse to drink it because you say so. You’re not alone anymore; you can’t be willful.”
Gu Cheng’an persuaded her from the side. “Mom means well. Drink a little.”
Shen Nanxing lifted the bowl and drank half of it. The greasy soup slid into her stomach. She endured it again and again, but in the end, she still rushed into the bathroom and vomited.
Her mother-in-law sighed outside. “This child is so difficult to look after.”
The faucet roared. Bracing herself against the sink, Shen Nanxing looked at her pale reflection in the mirror. For the first time, she vaguely sensed that after becoming pregnant, she seemed to be no longer just herself.
She had become the child’s mother, the daughter-in-law of The Gu Family, and the wife whom Gu Cheng’an needed to understand him.
And the name Shen Nanxing had been pushed further and further back.