After blurting out the word “husband” Ning Zhi froze for a moment. However, after a brief wave of embarrassment, he thought to himself.
Is there anything scarier than having no money? Are those two words really scarier than living under a bridge? Is calling him “husband” scarier than having Si Yuche realize he got hit by a scooter and then mock him for it?
NO!
Looking at the current situation, having him as a husband was definitely way better than having him as an arch-rival!
“Um… could you say what you just said one more time?”
reached out, wrapped his arms around Ning Zhi’s waist, and repeated it as requested.
Ning Zhi lowered his head, his shoulders quivering a few times. He looked heartbroken and anxious, but he was actually holding back a grin.
Heaven really was giving him a chance to get rich quick! Who would have thought that a random collision would leave Si Yuche with amnesia, mistaking Ning Zhi for his romantic partner?
This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to reclaim his dignity and get revenge on his sworn enemy!
Since you used to hate me, dislike me, mock me, and look down on me, now you’ll just have to love me, pamper me, protect me, and spend tons and tons of money on me!
“Husband, why did you have to run right into my scooter on a rainy day? Look what happened!” Once Ning Zhi figured things out, his brain started spinning at high speed to patch up his story.
“Even if you made me mad, you shouldn’t have been so reckless just to pursue me and make amends! I only ran away from home for a little while. Even if you missed me so much you were going crazy, losing sleep, tossing and turning, frantically looking for me everywhere, you still shouldn’t have thrown yourself at my electric scooter just to stop me!”
Ning Zhi wiped the corner of his eyes, putting on a look of heart-wrenching pity.
“I really didn’t realize you loved me to this extent.” Pretending to be generous, he added, “Well then, I’ll reluctantly forgive you!”
He sat up straight, counting on his fingers as he said seriously, “You just need to buy me a few sets of clothes, a few watches, and a few pairs of shoes. Oh, right, and take me out on a few trips. Though, I’ve been so exhausted from running away these past few days, so hire a few masseurs to come home and give me a massage. Oh, and I also need to get skin treatments! The sun was so strong these past few days that I feel like my face is peeling. Oh, and my dyed hair keeps fading, I’ve been touching up the color by myself, so take me to a hair salon later to get it redone…”
He chattered away for a long while, but got no response from the man above him.
“What’s wrong? Why are you ignoring me?”
Si Yuche leaned against the headboard, looking pale as if from a headache. “I’m sorry. I just woke up and my head feels really dizzy. It’s a bit too much to digest all at once.”
“Baby… why were we arguing?”
How would I know? I made it all up.
Ning Zhi bit his lip and decided to take the initiative. Wriggling out of Si Yuche’s arms, he put on a cold expression. “Are you trying to bring up old scores?”
Si Yuche: “…”
“I just… can’t remember clearly…”
“I already forgave you! Do you really have to bring it up so I get mad all over again?”
“I don’t… I just…”
“Fine, let’s keep arguing then! I don’t want to forgive you anymore. It’s definitely your fault anyway, it couldn’t possibly be mine!”
Si Yuche’s brow twitched violently. He was clearly defenseless against this logic.
“…My fault.”
Glancing at the damp, stained spots on his shirt left by Ning Zhi, he rubbed his fingers together.
“To show my sincerity and apologize, let me take you to buy some clothes.”
Ning Zhi was already feeling deeply uncomfortable in his wet, dirty clothes. Hearing those words made his arch-rival look a whole lot more pleasant all of a sudden.
“Sure!… Wait, the nurse said you still need to finish these IV fluids. Plus, you should stay for observation and only leave once you feel better.”
At the mention of staying in the hospital, a trace of annoyance and discomfort crossed Si Yuche’s forehead. “No need. I’m fine. Let’s discharge right now.”
“But…”
The man insisted firmly, “No buts. Any later and the malls will be closed.”
Two hours later, Ning Zhi brought his newly acquired “husband” to the mall.
“Does this one look good?” He flitted through the store like a colorful butterfly, picking out set after set with glowing eyes. “This color looks great too! And this style isn’t bad either…”
Behind him, the sales assistant’s hands were completely full. She couldn’t stop smiling. “Sir, you’re so handsome, with great taste and a wonderful figure, you’d look amazing even wearing a potato sack!”
Ning Zhi gave her a sweet smile, then took the selected clothes to Si Yuche and asked obediently, “Husband, which set do you think looks best?”
Si Yuche’s headache hadn’t actually subsided yet, so he didn’t really look closely at the clothes Ning Zhi was holding. Hearing the question, he replied, “They all look good.”
Perfunctory straight guy.
“Then I’ll go try them all on!” Ning Zhi didn’t mind his answer at all, as long as someone was paying, right?
Holding the new clothes, he stepped into the fitting room, not forgetting to turn around and thank him: “Thanks, husband!”
After trying on clothes for over an hour, Ning Zhi was completely exhausted. He huffed out a few breaths and decided to call it a day for his free-loading spree.
“Just these? You’re not buying all the ones you tried on?”
Ning Zhi said considerately, “No, these are enough. It’s hard work for you to earn money, husband.”
Si Yuche looked down at him without saying much, taking out a card to pay.
“Um, sir… there are insufficient funds on this card.”
The surroundings suddenly fell so dead silent you could hear a pin drop.
Ning Zhi opened his mouth, looking at the suit-and-tie-clad Si Yuche in total shock.
Si Yuche also felt a rare moment of fluster. He pulled out another card: “How could that be… Could you please try this one?”
The clerk took it with a smile, but after a few seconds, said again, “I’m sorry, neither card has enough funds.”
Ning Zhi: “…”
Si Yuche: “…”
“Could you please try these cards as well?”
The clerk patiently swiped them all for him.
“Sir, none of them work.”
Ning Zhi immediately lowered his head like a frightened quail, slowly shuffling his feet. He was so utterly mortified he wished he could disappear on the spot.
“Um… excuse me, how would you like to pay the $89,642?”
“Where’s your money?”
Refusing to believe it, Ning Zhi took Si Yuche to the bank to check, only to find out that there wasn’t a single penny in his account.
He was even poorer than him!
Si Yuche looked bewildered. “Yeah… where’s my money?”
“You’re asking me?!” Ning Zhi was so angry he grabbed him by the neck and shook him hard, gritting his teeth. “If you don’t have money, why were you acting like a big shot? Why act like a domineering CEO?! You washed up in their store and tried on clothes for so long, only to walk out empty-handed! That’s so embarrassing!”
Si Yuche’s face turned even paler from the shaking. He pressed down on Ning Zhi’s shoulders to try and calm him down.
“Wait, stop shaking me for a second.” Si Yuche frowned. “I don’t know what happened either. Why don’t we go home first and deal with this later?”
“Go home my ass!” Ning Zhi let go of him, rubbed his small face forcefully, and said in deep despair, “I don’t have money for rent anymore! We’re going to end up on the streets tonight as a couple of beggars! Waaah!”
Si Yuche asked hesitantly, “How much is the rent?”
“Two thousand!”
Ning Zhi squatted on the ground. Images of sleeping on a hard wooden board or the bare floor, living a life exposed to the wind and rain, were already flashing through his mind.
…Should I go buy a little metal bowl?
The next second, a cracked, broken watch appeared in front of his eyes.
“I almost threw this away earlier. Even though it’s broken like this, selling it for two thousand shouldn’t be a problem.”
It was a luxury watch with a shattered dial.
A second-hand watch broken to this degree suffered a heavy price drop. The original value of over a hundred thousand was ruthlessly slashed down to two thousand five hundred!
The buyer could probably tell they were desperate for cash and pushed the price down extremely hard. The worst part was that they had no choice.
Si Yuche merely frowned and nodded, ready to compromise, which angered Ning Zhi so much that he engaged in a fierce 30-minute verbal battle with the buyer.
In the end, he successfully bargained the price up to two thousand eight hundred. Ning Zhi clutched the dirty cash angrily and stormed outside.
“Where are we going?”
Ning Zhi’s beautiful dream had shattered after only a few hours. Looking at Si Yuche now only made his blood boil.
“Home.”
Seeing him so furious for once, Si Yuche didn’t ask further questions and obediently sat on the backseat of his electric scooter.
After a moment, he couldn’t help asking again, “Are you angry?”
Ning Zhi said coldly, “No. I’m just thinking about something.”
Si Yuche breathed a sigh of relief and instinctively asked, “It’s good that you’re not angry. What are you thinking about?”
“Divorce.”
Si Yuche: “…”
After a chaotic day, Ning Zhi handed over the two thousand yuan rent to the landlord and led his cheap husband back to his tiny basement apartment.
He had even taken a day off work, which was a heavy blow to his already meager wallet.
“…We’re living here?”
Si Yuche paused at the doorway, surveying the basement room that was less than thirty square meters. His expression turned solemn.
“There aren’t even any windows here.”
Ning Zhi was so tired he just wanted to lie on the floor and sleep. Hearing the disgust in his voice, he looked at him unhappily: “What about it? This is already the cheapest place around here. We can’t afford anything better. We still have to pay for utilities and food later!”
Ning Zhi dug out a pair of buy-one-get-one-free slippers and slammed them down in front of Si Yuche with a thwack.
“Otherwise, take your pick between a bridge toll booth or here!”
He was still furious, so nobody better mess with him. Ning Zhi bared his teeth at Si Yuche to show his anger.
Si Yuche looked down at the slippers that were several sizes too small for him. After a moment of silence, he asked, “Aren’t there any slippers of mine at home?”
Why would there be slippers for him?!
Ning Zhi looked at the slippers in his hands and argued unreasonably, “I told you I ran away from home! Why would I bring a pair of your slippers with me?”
“If they don’t fit, just squeeze your feet in!” Ning Zhi turned around and collapsed onto the sofa, barely having the strength to speak. With his eyes closed, he suggested, “If worse comes to worst, follow the steps of Cinderella’s stepsisters, chop off your toes or heels, and then they’ll fit!”
Si Yuche: “…”
Great advice, but I choose to squeeze in.
“I’m so tired…” Ning Zhi was so sleepy that his eyelids felt stuck together the moment he closed them. His voice became slurred and soft. “Survived another day…”
Si Yuche tugged at his clothes slightly. “You haven’t showered yet.”
Ning Zhi opened his eyes painfully, giving Si Yuche a resentful glare.
“Got it, got it. You’re so annoying.”
With that, he scrambled up, grabbed his pajamas, and headed into the bathroom.
After spending half an hour washing himself clean, Ning Zhi emerged from the steamy bathroom. He turned on the second-hand fan in the room, letting it blow directly at his face.
“I’m done washing. You go wash up. Oh, by the way, the doctor said your wound shouldn’t get wet, so remember to be careful.”
Seeing him like this, Si Yuche instinctively scolded him, “Don’t blow the fan directly at your head like that, it can cause a stroke.”
Ning Zhi: “…”
“Mind your own business! I want to blow it like this!” The rebellious Young Master Ning hated being bossed around the most. Saying so, he moved even closer to the fan.
Si Yuche: “…”
Forget it, he’d go take a shower.
When he came out after showering, he found Ning Zhi, who had been dying of sleepiness just moments ago, still looking at his phone.
“Weren’t you exhausted? Why aren’t you sleeping yet?”
Seeing him walk over, Ning Zhi did an about face and scrambled up from the bed, calling out affectionately, “Husband!”
Si Yuche suddenly had a very bad feeling about this.