All my life, I had thought being kind was the same as being stupid. And yet every single thing Jeri did simply looked cute to me. Whenever I watched him, the corners of my lips kept itching to curl upward.
‘Yes, give me more.’
I knew perfectly well that there was nowhere near enough food left. I had seen him pacing busily back and forth through the pantry where the ingredients were stored, agonizing over what to do. The place was so empty that all that worrying seemed pointless. At this rate, the food would run out completely.
Even so, I asked for more of the food that did not suit my tastes in the slightest.
Would he get angry? Or would he scold me for being inconsiderate? At this point, it would be understandable if he lost his temper….
I wanted to see what he looked like angry.
Would his face flush red? Or would the veins stand out on his neck? It was difficult to imagine, which only made me look forward to it more.
‘Mm!’
But contrary to my expectations, the boy merely drooped the corners of his eyes sadly and handed over more food without a single complaint. When I saw his hands trembling, I nearly burst out laughing.
‘Here you go, Henry.’
Soft lips curving into a smile, eyes folding into crescents, dimples sinking into his cheeks.
As I slowly examined every little feature that made up Jeri, I found him rather arousing.
Ah.
This was a feeling I had never experienced before in my life.
‘Would he smile like that beneath me too?’
With his cheeks flushed red?
Or perhaps he would be too frightened to say anything, hands clasped tightly together. He looked timid at first glance, after all.
A dark desire to find out immediately surged inside me.
Even if I chose to confirm it right here and now, there was no one who could stop me.
‘Should I?’
It would not be bad to whisper into his ear and ask how he could fail to recognize his own husband.
I was also curious what expression he would make if I added, Didn’t you hold another man’s hand earlier? Do you know that’s a crime worthy of death?
My mouth went dry with excitement.
“Jeri.”
Jeri. Jeri, of all things.
Did he not know what it meant in the Empire to allow someone to use a pet name?
Lowering my head, I brought my lips close to his ear.
Hoo.
I blew softly into it.
The boy only flinched for a moment without opening his eyes.
Seriously, where had he gotten the confidence to claim he was a light sleeper?
At the same time, however, a strange sense of satisfaction rose inside me.
Because it meant there had never been anyone close enough to him to tell him that he was actually a heavy sleeper.
“Jeriii….”
Carlisle bit down on his overlapping lips to suppress his laughter.
He was already curious what expression Jeri would make once everything was revealed.
Would he droop the corners of his eyes and clasp his hands together, desperately begging for forgiveness?
Or would his already large eyes widen even further as he trembled violently and covered his mouth?
Perhaps he would collapse straight onto the floor.
No matter how he reacted, it would be entertaining.
“As long as you don’t run away….”
Yes.
Keeping one insignificant little thing like this by his side should be fine.
He needed somewhere to breathe too.
Besides, wasn’t Jeri already his?
He had entered the palace as a concubine.
He had come rolling in of his own accord, so there was no reason Carlisle had to let him go.
“I’ll cherish you.”
He would forgive him even if he crossed the line.
Even if he acted insolently, Carlisle would let it slide a few times.
It was irritating that Jeri had not answered even after Carlisle had bestowed such a generous gift upon him.
Annoyed, Carlisle grabbed one of the garments covering him and yanked it away.
“Mmh….”
Perhaps because he was cold, Jeri curled his shoulders inward.
When Carlisle reached out and wrapped an arm around them, Jeri burrowed into his chest as though seeking warmth.
“Warm….”
“You like it?”
“Mmh.”
“You’re the one who hugged me first, understood?”
He drew Jeri’s shoulders into his arms and buried his face against the fully exposed nape of his neck.
He was astonishingly cute, stupid enough to make him laugh, and disgustingly lovable.
“Sleep well, Jeri.”
There had been countless nights when Carlisle had stayed awake until morning, but tonight, he felt as though he could enjoy every moment of those long hours.
* * *
Carlisle opened his eyes.
Then he was startled by the realization that he had fallen asleep in an unfamiliar place.
On top of that, the spot beside him was empty.
He could hardly believe that he had slept deeply enough for the person in his arms to wake up, climb out of bed, and walk away without him noticing.
“Henry, you’re awake?”
Carlisle turned toward the voice.
The small bundle that had been keeping his arms warm was moving awkwardly.
The movements of someone who knew very well what he had done.
Who had been the one to happily crawl into his arms first?
Why was he pretending otherwise now?
Carlisle should have found it irritating, yet the corners of his lips kept itching.
“Did I happen to sleep while holding something?”
“W-what?”
Jeri’s eyes rolled around wildly, and he even began stammering as though announcing to the entire world that he was lying.
“I’m certain I was holding something while I slept, but when I woke up, it was gone.”
“I-I’m not really sure? M-maybe you slept hugging your clothes?”
It was an unbelievably awkward lie.
If Carlisle pressed him even a little further, he would probably confess the truth.
But he decided to let it go.
Water was dripping from Jeri’s hair.
Seeing him up close, Carlisle noticed that his already pale face looked even more bloodless.
His mood twisted when Jeri casually mentioned that he had washed with cold water in the middle of winter.
An unmaintained palace, backing that might as well not exist, and an Emperor who did not care about him at all.
Carlisle realized that all of this had happened with his tacit permission.
If he had shown even the smallest amount of interest, Jeri would never have been forced to live while being treated this way.
‘I think this is what His Majesty wants.’
At this point….
Carlisle could not even deny those words.
It was not too late.
With the slightest movement of a finger, he could change everything.
He could move Jeri somewhere with a bathroom that produced warm water, a table overflowing with food, thick blankets, and servants who would ensure he could enjoy everything without lifting a finger.
And yet, why did the idea feel so unappealing?
‘Hmm.’
Carlisle admitted to himself that he had become absorbed in this ridiculous little performance.
All these cute little things Jeri did would disappear the moment he found out Carlisle was the Emperor.
And then Carlisle would never see them again.
He did not want that.
This was a kind of….
What should he call this feeling?
‘Right. Amusement.’
His life had been unbearably dull lately.
There was nothing strange about becoming interested in some tiny source of amusement and growing attached to it.
That was what he told himself.
The feeling he had now was merely somewhere on the border between interest and curiosity, and it would disappear soon enough.
‘Just what exactly do you think of His Majesty?’
‘Mm, that he’s scary…?’
When had he ever even seen me?
Of course Carlisle knew that the infamous reputation he had deliberately spread had become widespread throughout the Empire.
But never in his wildest dreams had he expected Jeri to think he was this much of a lunatic.
He was not some tyrant who would slaughter people merely because someone had broken branches outside to start a fire because they were cold.
If something like that happened in the first place, he would find the cause behind why it had happened and remove it.
For Jeri….
Yes.
Carlisle had no choice but to admit that the boy’s absurd imagination was not entirely wrong.
If something like that truly happened and Carlisle encountered Jeri afterward, he probably would invent some nonexistent crime just to keep him by his side.
‘You dared break a branch without my permission? Did you not know that every speck of dust and every grain of dirt within the Imperial Palace belongs to me? You’re sorry? If you’re an adult, you should take responsibility with actions, not words.’
He probably would threaten him like that.
Carlisle was not some worthless bastard who locked people up and prevented them from going outside.
But if the other person was Jeri?
Surely he could not be the only one who noticed how lovely and beautiful the boy was.
Everyone else would notice too.
Of course they would pester him and flirt with him.
And that innocent boy would fail to recognize their filthy intentions and respond with kindness.
…Just as he had done with Carlisle.
Merely imagining it sent flames surging through his insides.
Even though he knew what Jeri had said was not entirely wrong, Carlisle found himself wondering where he should even begin correcting the misunderstanding.
‘I want to avoid him as much as possible if I can….’
…Even though you entered the palace as his concubine?
At first, it had simply been cute that Jeri failed to recognize him as the Emperor.
But now….
It felt a little strange.
He could not recognize the Emperor even with him standing right in front of his eyes, yet he was utterly terrified of an Emperor he supposedly knew nothing about.
Carlisle had no intention of eating those half-dead, withered vegetables again today.
They did not look particularly healthy either.
Besides, he could not stop thinking about how painfully thin Jeri was.
He had probably become so skinny because he ate things like that.
And if Carlisle was going to hold him, it would be preferable for him to have at least some flesh on his bones rather than being all skin and bone.
For that reason, the two of them left the palace together.
Thanks to Hamin arranging things beforehand, it was not difficult.
There had been a minor incident when the knight guarding the gate saw Carlisle, tensed up, and began stammering, but fortunately, his identity had not been exposed.
When Carlisle mentioned that they ought to buy a coat and Jeri naturally responded, ‘For you?’ Carlisle felt angry rather than amused.
Had he not looked at himself?
Carlisle no longer wanted to watch him shivering from the cold.
That was why going to the clothing shop had also been one of his impulsive decisions.
He could sense the people secretly following them moving about busily.