Inside the resplendent grand hall, the melodious sounds of pipes and strings resonated as guests clinked their glasses in celebration.
Su Tang sat beside Lu Ci, peeling grapes while quietly observing her surroundings.
My, what an interesting seating arrangement.
On my left sits the Crown Prince, looking like a flashy peacock. On my right is my cheap excuse for a father, Minister Su. Sitting directly across from me is Su Hua, whose eyes resemble a venomous snake’s. This isn’t a birthday banquet—it’s clearly a public trial.
Lu Ci raised his wine goblet, concealing the curl of a smile at the corners of his mouth.
A flashy peacock? A venomous snake?
Those descriptions were surprisingly apt.
“Sister.” Su Hua wore a light pink palace dress today, making her look even prettier than the flowers. Raising her wine cup, she toasted Su Tang from afar, her voice soft enough to drip water: “Haven’t seen you for many days. Is Sister doing well at the Prince’s Residence? I… miss you dearly.”
Su Tang didn’t even lift an eyelid, spitting the peeled grape skin directly onto her plate: “Miss me? I think you miss finding a way to kill me, don’t you? Don’t think I don’t know you were casting flirtatious glances at the Crown Prince just now. Aren’t your eyes tired? Do you need me to give you some eyedrops?”
Su Hua’s smile froze on her face, the knuckles of the hand gripping her wine goblet turning slightly pale.
Seated beside Su Hua, the Crown Prince wore bright yellow robes embroidered with pythons. Though he appeared romantic and charming, his gaze was inherently frivolous. Dazzled by the flirtatious glances Su Hua had given him earlier, he grew displeased upon seeing Su Tang’s rudeness and frowned. “It seems the Regent’s Consort has a strong opinion regarding Our choice of Side consort?”
“Side consort?” Su Tang blinked, feigning surprise. “Your Highness must be joking. My younger sister has not yet married out of our household. How could she already be a candidate for a side consort? Could it be… they have made a secret vow of love?”
The moment those words were uttered, the surrounding ministers instantly pricked up their ears.
A secret vow of love? That was a massive scandal!
The Crown Prince’s face darkened. Just as he was about to blow his top, Minister Su, who had remained silent all this time, suddenly stood up.
“Your Majesty!” Minister Su rushed to the center of the hall and dropped to his knees with a loud thud, tears streaming down his old face. “This old servant is guilty! I failed to discipline my daughter properly, allowing this unfilial wretch to offend His Highness and deceive the Lord Regent!”
The Emperor set down his wine goblet, looking on with great interest. “Oh? What does My minister mean by this?”
Minister Su whirled around, his trembling finger pointing sharply at Su Tang as he shouted sternly, “This woman… is not my eldest daughter Su Tang at all! She is a demonic monster! A wandering ghost possessing my daughter’s body!”
The entire hall burst into an uproar.
A demonic monster?
That was a crime punishable by beheading!
Minister Su continued his sorrowful accusation: “My daughter was gentle, submissive, and utterly devoid of talent in music, chess, calligraphy, or painting. Yet since marrying into the Regent’s Estate, she has not only become sharp-tongued and fierce, but she also understands business accounts and even knows medicine! If she were not possessed by a demon, how could there be such a drastic transformation? I beg Your Majesty to thoroughly investigate this! Send for the State Master to perform a rite, drive out this demon, and restore peace to the Regent’s Estate!”
Su Hua dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief at just the right moment. “It is true, Your Majesty. Sister used to be so timid she wouldn’t even step on an ant, yet now she can kick the young lady from our mother’s side flying… This is simply not Sister!”
Lu Ci’s hand gripping his wine goblet suddenly tightened.
Possessed by a demon?
Though he too had harbored suspicions, for this old creature to state it in public meant he clearly wished to drive Su Tang to her death!
Just as he was about to rise and defend her, he felt a soft, delicate little hand gently press down on the back of his hand.
Su Tang blinked at him, her eyes seeming to say: Don’t rush. Let the bullet fly for a bit.
A demonic monster?
Fine then, old creature. Since you want to play with metaphysics, I’ll show you what true ‘scientific cultivation’ looks like!
Su Tang slowly stood up, smoothed out her skirts, walked to the center of the hall, and knelt beside Minister Su.
“Father says I am a demonic monster, but do you have any proof?” Su Tang asked with an innocent face.
“Proof? Your complete change in nature is the greatest proof!” Minister Su gritted his teeth.
“A change in nature?” Su Tang laughed. “Father, I was simply hiding my light under a bushel[1] jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_3682535_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_3682535_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], }); back then. After all, in that household, my stepmother mistreated me, my younger sister bullied me, and you were solely focused on court affairs, turning a blind eye to the inner manor. If I hadn’t acted foolish and incompetent, I am afraid I wouldn’t have lived long enough to marry out!”
“Nonsense!” Minister Su flared up in rage. “When did I ever turn a blind eye to you?”
“Oh? Then does Father know what I love to eat most? What I hate most? Or even… how old I am this year?” Su Tang pressed on step by step.
Minister Su opened his mouth, only to realize that he genuinely could not answer.
He only remembered that this daughter was a useless, brainless fool whose sole value lay in marrying the Lord Regent to serve as an informant. As for anything else… he had never cared.
Seeing his reaction, Su Tang let out a sigh and turned to the Emperor. “Your Majesty, Father not only turns a blind eye to me, but he is not even clear about his own physical condition. How can I possibly acknowledge him as my father?”
“Physical condition?” The Emperor’s interest was piqued. “The Regent’s Consort knows medicine as well?”
“I know a trick or two.” Su Tang smiled faintly, her eyes suddenly turning razor-sharp as she stared directly at Minister Su. “Father, do you often feel soreness in your lower back and knees, suffer from night sweats, and… feel utterly powerless?”
Minister Su’s face turned pale. “You—what nonsense are you spouting!”
How could such a private ailment be spoken aloud in public!
Su Tang ignored him and continued to drop heavy bombshells:
System, drop that earth-shattering gossip for me! I want this old creature ruined!
System: Understood! Gossip report: On the surface, Minister Su has both sons and daughters, but in reality, due to overconsuming aphrodisiac pills in his earlier years, his sperm motility rate is extremely low—making him a legendary case of azoospermia! The son borne by his second wife is actually his younger brother’s child! As for Su Hua, she’s extra baggage brought along by his second wife and doesn’t possess a single drop of Su family blood!
Su Tang took a deep breath, centered her qi, and spoke in a clear, loud voice that echoed through every corner of the hall:
“Father, you consume those ‘Golden Spear Standing Tall’ pills of unknown origin year-round. Do you not know that medicine is toxic? It has not only drained your physical body, but it has also… rendered you completely infertile!”
“What?!”
The entire hall erupted like a tossed hornet’s nest.
Infertile?
Then where did the current son of the Su family come from?
Minister Su trembled with rage, his finger shaking as he pointed at Su Tang. “You unfilial daughter! How dare you slander your father! I have both a son and a daughter, how could I possibly…”
“A son and a daughter?” Su Tang looked at him with pity. “Father, why don’t you check your precious son’s blood type, or… ask Second Uncle?”
“As for my younger sister…” Su Tang looked toward Su Hua, whose face had drained of all color. “Has Father not noticed that Sister doesn’t resemble you at all, but rather looks like… Squire Wang, who frequently visits the Su Manor?”
Boom!
Those words struck like heavenly thunder, instantly leaving Minister Su completely stunned.
Second Uncle? Squire Wang?
Countless memories flashed through his mind in a single instant. His second wife making eyes at his younger brother… the striking resemblance between Su Hua’s features and Squire Wang’s…
“Pfft—”
Overwhelmed by blood-rushing rage, Minister Su spat out a mouthful of blood, rolled his eyes back, and collapsed straight onto the floor.
“Father!” Su Hua cried out in shock and tried to help him up, but the surrounding ministers scrambled away from her as if avoiding a plague.
So she was an illegitimate child!
The Crown Prince felt even more disgusted, as if he had swallowed a fly. Just a moment ago he had thought Su Hua was sweet and enchanting, but now he felt a bright green hat resting heavily on his head. As the dignified Crown Prince, had he almost taken an illegitimate child from who-knows-where as a side consort?
“Guards! Carry Minister Su out!” The Emperor was also deeply shaken by this massive gossip and hurriedly waved his hand. “Furthermore, summon the imperial physicians! Conduct a blood test… for the Su family’s son!”
The banquet, originally meant as a trap to trap Su Tang, instantly turned into a family-identification tribunal for the Su family.
Su Tang clapped her hands, hiding her accomplishments and fame, and turned to walk back to Lu Ci’s side.
“So? Was the show good?” Su Tang raised an eyebrow at Lu Ci.
Looking at her radiant, high-spirited expression, Lu Ci’s eyes filled with doting affection.
It was good, he said silently in his heart. Better than any play.
“The Consort truly… hides her light under a bushel.” Lu Ci reached out and wiped away a tiny smudge of grape juice from the corner of her mouth. His movement was so natural it seemed as if he had done it a thousand times before. “However, next time you have dirty work like this, let me do it.”
Su Tang froze, her cheeks warming slightly.
Who asked you to do it? You just need to be responsible for being as beautiful as a flower… oh wait, no, responsible for giving me money!
Still… did he just touch my face? It actually felt quite nice… hehe.
Lu Ci’s fingers paused briefly, the tips of his ears quietly turning red.
As beautiful as a flower?
This woman…
Right at that moment, the urgent sound of horse hooves suddenly came from outside the hall.
“Report—!!!”
A messenger covered in blood stumbled into the hall, holding a blood-stained letter high in his hand.
“Urgent report from the border! An army of two hundred thousand barbarians is pressing against our borders! General Zhenbei… has fallen in battle! The border… has been breached!”
A dead silence fell over the hall.
The ministers who had been enjoying the gossip just a moment ago turned deathly pale, dropping their wine goblets all over the floor.
The border was breached?
Great Zhou was in dire peril!
The smile on Lu Ci’s face vanished in an instant, replaced by a dark, terrifying aura of slaughter and majesty. He stood up abruptly, his aura surging straight to the sky like a sharp sword drawn from its scabbard.
“An Yi! Prepare my horse!”
“I shall personally lead the army to war!”
Looking at the towering figure that had suddenly grown so majestic, Su Tang’s heart skipped a beat.
Just like that… he’s going off to fight a war?
Does that mean I’m going to be left behind like a abandoned child?
No way! I’m a gossip system—there’s bound to be even more gossip on the battlefield! Besides… what if he turns out to be useless in that department and wets his pants on the battlefield? I have to go keep an eye on him!
System! Pack our bags! We’re going to the border to enjoy the gossip… oh wait, no, to defend the country!
[1]hide your light under a bushel means to keep your good qualities, talents, skills, or ideas secret from other people rather than showing them off jQuery('#footnote_plugin_tooltip_3682535_1_1').tooltip({ tip: '#footnote_plugin_tooltip_text_3682535_1_1', tipClass: 'footnote_tooltip', effect: 'fade', predelay: 0, fadeInSpeed: 200, delay: 400, fadeOutSpeed: 200, position: 'top center', relative: true, offset: [-7, 0], });
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