Early in the morning, the first rays of sunlight filtered through the window lattice and into the side hall.
Su Tang stretched lazily and got out of bed in high spirits, completely unbothered by the contemptuous glares of the maids surrounding her.
Being kicked out of the bridal chamber on her wedding night was considered rock-solid proof by the servants that the Princess Consort had fallen from grace, leaving her just one step away from being discarded. But in Su Tang’s eyes, this was practically a paid vacation! Not having to serve that moody, living King of Hell and getting a good night’s sleep—who wouldn’t want such good fortune?
“Princess Consort, His Highness has summoned breakfast and requested your attendance to serve him.”
Outside the door, the housekeeper stood with a stern, old face. His tone was stiff, lacking even a shred of respect for the mistress of the household.
Su Tang did not take offense. She adjusted her hairstyle before the bronze mirror, letting out a textbook “corporate fake smile”: [System, time to clock in for work! Today’s goal: keep my small life safe and score a free breakfast.]
[System: Go for it, Host! Today’s check-in reward: Hearing +1 (easier to catch the drama).]
Inside the main hall, the air pressure was terrifyingly low.
Lu Ci sat before a red sandalwood table, holding a scroll of military strategy in his hand, though he hadn’t absorbed a single word.
He hadn’t slept a wink all night.
Every time he closed his eyes, those demonic phrases—”pure Yang art” and “innocent old virgin”—echoed in his mind. He was the grand Regent, holding power over life and death, yet a woman had seen right through him down to his bare bottom!
He had even dispatched his secret guards to look into Su Tang’s background, but the results showed she was merely an ordinary concubine-born daughter of the Su family—timid, weak, and devoid of any extraordinary traits.
“Your Highness, Lady Su has arrived.”
Lu Ci raised his head, his bloodshot Phoenix eyes narrowing slightly to release a dangerous aura.
Su Tang walked in wearing a pale pink crossed-collar skirt, her steps light and elegant as if lotus flowers bloomed with every stride. Her posture was so dignified that not a single fault could be picked out. She bowed gracefully, her voice soft and sweet: “This servant pays her respects to Your Highness. Did Your Highness sleep well last night?”
Lu Ci let out a cold sneer, just about to utter a few sarcastic remarks.
The next second, the familiar inner thoughts arrived right on schedule:
[Whoa! Look at those dark circles! They’re almost sagging down to his chin, aren’t they?]
[Tsk, tsk, tsk. Looks like last night’s “pure Yang art” really took a toll on him. Is this what they call unsatisfied desires leading to a Yin-Yang imbalance? Young man, moderation is key. Staying up late harms the kidneys the most. If you’re already dysfunctional, pulling all-nighters will only make you weaker.]
Snap!
The ivory chopsticks in Lu Ci’s hand were snapped cleanly in half.
The temperature in the room instantly plummeted to freezing point. The attending servants were terrified to the point of holding their breath, falling to their knees one after another.
Su Tang was startled as well, hastily putting on the act of a frightened little rabbit: “Your Highness? Is the food not to your liking?”
[Holy crap! Those chopsticks are ivory! Broken just like that? If that kind of grip were applied to my neck… System, I take back what I said earlier. Even if he’s useless in bed, he has severe violent tendencies! I need to apply for occupational injury insurance!]
Lu Ci took a deep breath, suppressing the urge to slam the bowl onto her face, and squeezed a word out from between his teeth: “Replace them.”
Just then, a delicate, coquettish voice broke the stalemate.
“Cousin~”
Before her person could be seen, her scent arrived first. A rich fragrance of rouge and powder rushed into the room.
A woman dressed in an emerald-green silk skirt and dolled up in striking makeup walked in carrying a tray. She had a slender figure, and the dramatic curves at her chest appeared exceptionally “prominent” for such a conservative era.
This was none other than the cousin staying at the manor, Lin Wan’er.
Ignoring Su Tang, who was kneeling on the floor, Lin Wan’er walked straight up to Lu Ci and set down the soup stewing cup from her tray. Her eyes shimmered with affection: “Cousin, I heard Sister rested in the side hall last night. Wan’er was worried no one was taking care of you, so I woke up early to brew this ‘Ten-Ingredient Tonic Soup’ to nourish your body.”
Her words, inside and out, were loaded with blades.
She mocked Su Tang for being kicked out of the bridal chamber on her wedding night while subtly implying that Lu Ci’s body was “weak” and needed boosting.
Su Tang knelt to the side, lowering her eyes in quiet modesty, but her heart was blooming with joy:
[My goodness! Is this the legendary green tea cousin? Her level is a bit low, isn’t it? Serving a tonic soup right in a man’s face—isn’t that explicitly telling him he can’t perform? Sister, you stepped right on the landmine!]
Looking at the bowl of black soup, Lu Ci’s brow furrowed so tightly it could crush a fly.
Just as he was about to blow his top, that mechanical voice he both loved and hated suddenly sounded in his head:
[Ding! Target for drama detected.]
[Target: Lin Wan’er.]
[Drama Report: Lin Wan’er heard that the new Princess Consort has a magnificent figure. To outshine everyone, she specifically stuffed two freshly steamed big meat buns into her bosom this morning. Because they were too hot, her chest is currently burnt red in a whole patch, and she’s enduring the searing pain while trying to act seductive!]
“Pfft—”
Su Tang pinched the flesh on her thigh with all her might to keep herself from snorting out loud.
[Hahahahaha! Big meat buns? Freshly steamed ones at that? This cousin is a ruthless legend! She actually played with “self-immolation” just to vie for favor? No wonder her expression looked a bit contorted—turns out she was burned!]
[System, quick, check for me! Is it pork and green onion filling or leek and egg filling? I happen to be hungry!]
Lu Ci: “…”
His originally cold and fierce expression instantly froze on his face. His gaze uncontrollably swept over Lin Wan’er’s chest.
It was indeed… quite magnificent.
However, the moment he thought of two hot, steaming meat buns inside, that romantic atmosphere shattered into pieces on the spot, replaced by an indescribable sense of absurdity and disgust.
“Cousin, what’s wrong?” Seeing Lu Ci staring at her chest, Lin Wan’er felt a wave of secret delight, assuming her “assets” had worked. She hurriedly puffed out her chest and said bashfully, “This soup should be enjoyed while it’s hot…”
“Get out.”
Lu Ci suddenly stood up and retreated three steps back, as if he had laid eyes on something filthy.
Lin Wan’er froze: “Cou… Cousin?”
“Take your buns… No, take your soup and get out!” Lu Ci’s face turned ash-gray; he feared that if he looked for one more second, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from throwing up last night’s meal.
Lin Wan’er’s eyes instantly turned red. Though she didn’t know where things had gone wrong, the Regent’s overwhelming aura left her with no courage to argue. She could only hold the soup and run out crying.
As she ran, perhaps because her movements were too frantic, a white, round object suddenly slipped out from her collar.
Rumble, clack.
The object rolled twice across the floor and stopped right at Su Tang’s feet.
It was still steaming.
It was, unmistakably, a plump, white meat bun.
Dead silence fell over the entire room.
The servants stared with wide eyes, wondering if they were still dreaming.
Su Tang looked at the bun beside her feet and swallowed her saliva: [It’s actually mushroom and vegetable filling… Bad review.]
Lu Ci closed his eyes, the blue veins on his forehead throbbing merrily.
He turned his head and glared fixedly at the woman kneeling on the ground whose shoulders were shaking violently—she was clearly on the verge of laughing herself into a convulsion.
If before he had thought these inner thoughts were mere sorcery, then now he had no choice but to admit—
This damn sorcery was accurate to a terrifying degree!
“Have you laughed enough?”
Lu Ci stepped up to Su Tang and looked down at her from above. His slender fingers pinched her chin, forcing her to look up and meet his eyes.
Within those deep, dark eyes surged an undercurrent that Su Tang could not fathom.
Forced to tilt her head up, Su Tang was greeted by the sight of a man whose handsome face was outrageously divine, along with his slightly bobbing Adam’s apple.
Gulp.
Su Tang uselessly swallowed her saliva.
[Don’t get so close, big guy! Even if you can’t perform, your looks are seriously breaking the rules! These eyelashes are longer than my life, and those lips look so soft… Oh no, oh no, I want to kiss him!]
Lu Ci’s fingers trembled violently. As if shocked by electricity, he quickly pulled his hand back.
The tips of his ears flushed a suspicious shade of crimson once more. He averted his gaze in fluster, his voice tightening slightly: “You too… get out and eat!”