“Don’t go, Yuyu will let you pinch her chubby cheeks to play with!”
Yan Xingli had received word that Li Zhi was coming over. After coaxing Yuyu to sleep, he snuck out of the room as quietly as a thief.
In the dark living room with no lights on, the giant TV screen glowed. A round, dark silhouette sat motionless before it.
The TV was muted, making the entire house so quiet you could hear a pin drop. A faint, suppressed sobbing sound drifted eerily into Yan Xingli’s ears.
His expression shifted slightly. He tiptoed closer and tentatively said, “Xiao Hua?”
“I’m here.”
The hairless, round head mechanically turned, its movements stiff. The flickering light from the screen cast an eerie glow on it.
Yan Xingli had never seen Xiao Hua like this and was startled.
He clutched his chest and snapped, “Turn on a light while you watch TV, will you? I didn’t ask you to save on electricity!”
As soon as the light came on, Xiao Hua’s green, shimmering eyes quivered like rippling water.
He rushed over excitedly.
“Brother Xing, please help me contact the producer, scriptwriter, and director of this drama. I must discuss the reasonableness and necessity of Shen Meizhuang’s character death with them immediately!”
Robots sure had energy. Watching shows in the dark didn’t give them myopia or glaucoma.
Yan Xingli gave him a strange look. “Hey, are you crying? Can robots even cry?”
The drama was playing silently on the screen. In the background, the lead actress playing Zhen Huan was crying, her face eerily mirroring Xiao Hua’s for a moment.
“You are correct. Robots do not cry. The liquid I’m expelling is simply the artificial tears Lady Yuyu stored in my eyeballs.”
“I only release these artificial tears in specific scenarios.”
Yan Xingli bent over and grabbed two tissues from the coffee table. “Wipe yourself off first.”
“Okay, thank you.”
“I’m going to have a guest over in a bit,” Yan Xingli said, looking at Xiao Hua. “If you have nothing else to do, go keep an eye on Yuyu.”
Xiao Hua had no objection. He raised his antenna to turn off the TV.
“Alright. Wishing you a pleasant date.”
Yan Xingli stiffened his neck, his eyes wide. “It’s not a date! You talk too much.”
Li Zhi hadn’t gone home after getting off the plane; she came straight over, travel-worn.
Winter in S City was damp and cold. Li Zhi’s cheeks were chapped red from the wind, her delicate makeup unable to hide her exhaustion.
But her eyes were still sharp and bright.
“You’re sure you don’t know that guy?”
“I don’t.” Yan Xingli raised a finger and swore to the heavens. “I never stole his fiancée.”
Li Zhi stood with her arms crossed, quietly watching him.
Yan Xingli proposed his own theory: “Probably just a crazy hater.”
He was a law-abiding citizen who never made enemies. The most hatred he’d ever garnered in his life was from haters.
“I believe you.”
Li Zhi picked up the cup of hot water from the table, blew on it, took a sip, and looked up.
“However, Xiao Xing, this guy is no small fry. He’s the youngest son of the city’s wealthiest family, the Bai family. I checked his background. You two went to the same university.”
Yan Xingli nodded; he’d heard the guy mention that this morning.
“Do you know Xia Li?”
As she asked, Li Zhi opened her photo album and shoved a picture under his nose. “This girl.”
She looked vaguely familiar. Yan Xingli squinted, trying to recall.
After a moment, his expression cleared. “I know her, but not well. She was the student council president at our school.”
She was also the class monitor in his department. He remembered Xia Li because they had been deskmates several times.
Li Zhi said, “That’s it. She’s Bai Ji’s fiancée.”
Li Zhi had been in the industry for over a decade and had her own connections and sources. As soon as the morning incident happened, someone in the circle had tipped her off.
The young master of the Bai family had staged that whole scene to humiliate Yan Xingli and vent his own anger.
Bai Ji and Xia Li were childhood sweethearts. Their families had arranged a marriage when they were young.
The plan was for them to get engaged after graduating from university. But Xia Li had a change of heart and fell for Yan Xingli.
This turn of events not only soured the relationship between the two families but also made Bai Ji a laughingstock in their social circle.
His fiancée abandoning him, a favored son of heaven, for a poor nobody, was the ultimate humiliation.
The proud young master of the Bai family thus held a deep grudge against Yan Xingli.
After hearing the inside story, Yan Xingli was speechless.
What a gross injustice! What a disaster he had nothing to do with!
“Xia Li did express interest in dating me, but I rejected her.”
“She didn’t fall into my arms.”
Li Zhi gave him a look that said, “troublesome pretty boy.” “Now he’s using all his connections to get you blacklisted. The show’s production team has received a ton of complaints demanding you be kicked off.”
Hearing this, Yan Xingli didn’t even raise an eyebrow. He’d already guessed as much.
No worries. He’d already received an offer from Boss Yuyu. A golden thigh was a golden thigh, no matter how big or small.
“Alright, I’m fine with that.”
Yan Xingli had a “whatever, I don’t care” attitude, ready to accept his fate. If Li Zhi were her usual self, she’d have started yelling.
But this time, she looked him over carefully, her expression shifting subtly.
“Xiao Xing, when necessary, you need to ask for help. No matter the line of work, you can’t be too proud to ask.”
Li Zhi’s words seemed to carry a hint of probing. Yan Xingli was a bit confused. Li Zhi thought he was playing dumb, pretending to be a pig to eat the tiger.
She decisively dropped the bombshell: “This is your sugar mommy, right?”
Yan Xingli focused, then his pupils contracted sharply.
!!
Wasn’t that Yan Shanyi?!
Even though it was just a blurry photo of a tall figure from behind, they were siblings; he’d recognize her even if she turned to ash.
Sugar mommy, her foot! That’s the Great Demon King!
Yan Xingli’s expression was complicated. “Who took this?”
“Paparazzi, of course.”
When he first debuted, he wasn’t a top idol in a boy band. Why would paparazzi be following him? Someone had clearly sent people to monitor and take photos secretly.
Bai Ji. It had to be him.
Yan Xingli knew this was a huge misunderstanding.
He could only offer a futile, weak explanation: “It’s not what you think.”
Li Zhi smiled without speaking. Her face clearly said one thing: “Keep pretending. Let’s see how long you can keep it up.”
When the person who tipped her off revealed this, it resolved the strange feelings Li Zhi had always had about Yan Xingli.
She’d always wondered how, with his looks, he’d gone four years in the industry without encountering a big shot trying to take advantage of him.
Turns out he’d already had a big shot all along.
This kid was really good at hiding things.
Before leaving, Li Zhi gave him a reassuring look and said kindly, “Just keep filming the show. Those issues will be handled. Oh, and if you get a chance, go check Weibo.”
Yan Xingli’s Weibo account was usually managed by Xiao Lin. It was late, and he didn’t want to bother Xiao Lin for verification.
So he logged into his alt account and scrolled through the comments on his main account.
The hate comments were gone. The top comments were all people joking around, asking to be cursed. Anyone seeing this might think they’d stumbled into some strange forum.
Yan Xingli felt relieved.
He half-closed his eyes and checked the trending searches. There wasn’t a single black trend about him breaking up a relationship. Upon closer look, Xia Li had published a long post clarifying the situation.
Yan Xingli sighed in relief. He wasn’t stupid; he immediately understood who he had to thank for this.
“Sis, you are truly my one and only sister!”
“Please allow me to serve you for life! Your little brother is at your command!”
Yan Shanyi said, “This is the one time. I won’t help you again after this. If you can’t make it in the entertainment industry, just come back to the company and clock in like everyone else.”
Yan Xingli’s face was plastered with an ingratiating smile. “I understand.”
“Your parents are going to France for a banquet next month. Since your French is good, you can accompany them this time.” Yan Shanyi’s tone held a trace of warmth.
Yan Xingli: “Ah… me?”
“Mm, is there a problem?”
Yan Xingli had completely lost the calm and confidence he’d shown when facing Bai Ji. He nervously rubbed the inconspicuous language bracelet on his wrist.
Even a fake top student with all the gear couldn’t stand tall in front of a real top student.
“Your parents have been watching your livestreams.” Yan Shanyi’s perpetually cool tone was uncharacteristically soft. “They can see you’ve worked hard. They’re happy.”
Yan Xingli managed a strained smile in response, then said quietly, “But I’m supposed to start filming next month, and the company also signed me up for that intensive acting course.”
Yan Shanyi put down her knife and fork, lightly dabbed her lips, and casually changed the subject:
“We can discuss that later. One more thing: our parents are coming over the day after tomorrow. I’ve sent you the flight information.”
Yan Xingli’s smile vanished instantly. The chibi version of him in his head was like a startled groundhog.
Seriously? Couldn’t she have mentioned something this important at the beginning of the call?!
ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ
No more dancing, guys.
No more in the “Following” list.
The watch history, the liked videos – all cleared out!!
The next day, Qi Youyu, holding her tablet and scrolling through videos, felt like a swordsman with no target.
If it was broken, she could fix it. The child grabbed both ends of the tablet and shook it.
Still nothing. Just paper-cutting crafts and silly kid videos.
Qi Youyu hugged the tablet and got up to find Yan Xingli, who was lifting weights. “Uncle, your tablet is broken.”
Yan Xingli played dumb. “What’s wrong?”
“It chased away all the dancing guys!”
“Is that so? Let me see.”
He put down the dumbbell and took the tablet, pretending to scroll. “The guys are tired and resting. How about some dancing sisters instead?”
The platform’s video recommendation algorithm was heavily gender-based. Xiao Hua had set Yuyu’s account profile as female, so the platform kept pushing videos of young men.
Yan Xingli manually searched for a few female dance bloggers who promoted positive energy.
With their energetic background music, healthy, toned bodies, and confident, sunny movements, the contrast with the borderline softcore male bloggers was stark.
Qi Youyu was mesmerized. The little one didn’t look up again.
“Uncle, when I grow up, I’m going to marry that sister!”
“This sister is good too!”
“Uncle, I want to take all these sisters home!” The child muttered, her little brows furrowed. “Oh no, the Little Fish won’t fit that many people!”
Yan Xingli squinted at her. “You think you’re bringing back souvenirs? Wanting this and that. Why don’t you just pack up the whole Earth and take it?”
“Hahaha, is the Little Fish also one of Yuyu’s little inventions?”
“A historic crossover! Seeing my favorite blogger in this livestream!
The little one looked like she’d been struck by lightning, her eyes lighting up so brightly it made Yan Xingli shiver.
Hey, wait.
He was just joking. He didn’t mean he wanted aliens to invade Earth!
“Yu, ”
Yan Xingli quickly covered the child’s mouth, forcing a laugh. “Looks like you’re thirsty. Wait there, I’ll get you some water!”
“I don’t want water. I want milk!”
Uncle immediately went to fetch milk.
Qi Youyu invited Yan Xingli to watch the pretty sisters dance with her. Yan Xingli waved his hand, pretending to be busy.
The child propped her chin on one hand and stared at him for a while, then concluded, “Uncle, you don’t like sisters.”
Yan Xingli’s hand slipped on the dumbbell, nearly crushing his toes.
“!!!”
“Wow, thanks to this uncle-niece duo for giving the entertainment industry another iconic moment.”
“I’m dying laughing. Little Fish, look at the scare you gave your uncle! That’s a meme right there!”
That was close. Yan Xingli wiped the sweat off his body with a towel, still shaken, and chugged some water before calmly saying:
“Uncle is just busy, so I don’t have time to watch with you.”
“Everyone likes good-looking people, regardless of gender. That kind of is also called appreciation.”
Qi Youyu thought for a moment, then looked at him with wide eyes. “But yesterday, Uncle, you wouldn’t let me appreciate the dancing guys!”
Yan Xingli choked, then said matter-of-factly, “Uncle did that for your own good.”
“You’re still young. You wouldn’t understand.” He said, “When you’re as old as Uncle, then you can watch. No, actually, you should watch less.”
As soon as he finished speaking, Yan Xingli paused. By the time the little one grew up, she probably wouldn’t be on Earth anymore.
He looked down, wanting to ask about the progress of the Little Fish’s energy collection, but swallowed the words.
Even though Yan Xingli had marked “not interested” on all those borderline softcore guy videos overnight, he was still uneasy.
“Stop watching. Come on, Uncle will take you out for a bit.”
There were still so many new and interesting things on Earth she hadn’t experienced.
They went out fully equipped. Yan Xingli initially planned to drive Yuyu to Disneyland for a day, but the child wasn’t interested at all.
Instead, she made her uncle squat by the roadside with her, watching the traffic go by for a full twenty minutes.
“Piggy car!”
“That’s not a piggy car.” Yan Xingli stood up, shaking his numb legs, and gave a simple explanation. “It’s called a bus. It’s cheaper than a piggy car. A ride costs only two dollars, but it’s a bit slower.”
“I want to ride it!”
Yan Xingli asked, “You don’t want to ride in Uncle’s car anymore? Tired of it?”
Qi Youyu looked at it with wonder. “This car is like a big loaf of bread!”
In a child’s eyes, whether it was a Cullinan or a Maserati, nothing was as appealing as a big loaf-of-bread-shaped bus.
It was a cheap activity. Yan Xingli fiddled with the bus payment code on his phone, thinking, “Wow, this little alien is so easy to please.”
They walked to the nearest bus stop.
S City didn’t have an off-season. Almost every bus that came was packed.
Yan Xingli glanced at the cameraman following them and whispered to Yuyu, “Yuyu, let’s try to get on a less crowded bus. If there are too many people, it’ll be hard for Uncle Zhang to carry his equipment.”
The child had no objection. She pulled a candy from her little pocket and gave it to the cameraman, Xiao Zhang.
“Uncle, if you get tired, you can let my uncle carry it. Don’t be shy, okay!”
“Yuyu, share the wealth! Your sister wants some of that candy, too! QAQ”
After waiting for fifteen minutes, they finally found a bus that wasn’t too crowded. Coincidentally, there were exactly three empty seats.
But they were scattered.
Yan Xingli scanned the bus. It wasn’t really appropriate for him, a man, to sit between two girls. There was another seat on the other side.
Without overthinking, he plopped Qi Youyu into the seat between the two girls and sat next to a young guy, with the cameraman behind him.
Qi Youyu strained her neck to look up.
She saw her uncle sitting next to a strange big brother, puffed out her cheeks in displeasure, and shook her little fist in protest:
“Uncle, don’t like handsome guys too much! You need muscular uncles, not me!”
Yan Xingli: “…”
Though her voice wasn’t loud, in the quiet bus, it was like a droplet into a pool, causing ripples of laughter.
The whole bus erupted. Yan Xingli, caught in the laughter, didn’t know whether to sit or stand.
“Such a troublesome little rascal. Always causing problems for her ancestor.”
The bus had a strong smell and started and stopped frequently. The child only lasted three stops before getting dizzy and wilting like a little cabbage.
Yan Xingli led Qi Youyu off the bus. “Want to go home and rest?”
“No.”
The child rested for a moment, then went back to squatting by the roadside, observing. This time, she spotted a pink electric scooter. It was decorated adorably with stickers and a pinwheel, very eye-catching.
“Uncle, I want to ride that.”
“That’s someone else’s scooter. We can’t ride it.”
Qi Youyu glanced at him and pulled a red bill from her pocket.
“How about now?”
“…”
The owner of the scooter turned out to be a college student who had just finished school and was coincidentally a fan of Yan Xingli.
When she learned that Yuyu wanted to try riding her scooter, the young woman was pleasantly surprised and said she didn’t want any money, just a photo together.
Yuyu knew her uncle’s online reputation wasn’t great. Seeing a fan who liked him, the child immediately adopted the demeanor of her uncle’s boss.
“Sister, thank you so much for liking my uncle. Here, take this.”
“Please keep liking my uncle from now on, okay?”
Boss Yuyu, flush with cash, rented the scooter for half an hour for two hundred dollars and even managed to “buy” a permanent fan for her uncle.
The child was overjoyed. She’d done a good deed. She was a good boss to her uncle.
The scooter model was small. Yan Xingli, tall and broad-shouldered, looked like a mountain sitting on it, leaving hardly any room.
A child this small couldn’t be left alone in the back seat. The scooter was too tiny, so in the end, Yuyu had to squat in the front.
This time, Qi Youyu was thrilled.
“Awooo!”
“Wind! Come and catch me!”
Yan Xingli said, “Keep your hat on, close your mouth, or you’ll get a headache from the wind.”
“Okay, I’m a mushroom.”
After squatting for less than ten minutes, the child rubbed her short legs and called to him pitifully, “Uncle, I want to change shapes!”
They rode the scooter for half an hour. Yan Xingli’s old-man knees were starting to ache; they felt cold.
After returning the scooter near the university district, he looked for a place to warm up.
Just then, Qi Youyu, holding his hand, shouted and pointed at a milk tea shop ahead. “Uncle, there’s another you over there!”
A life-sized cardboard cutout of Yan Xingli stood at the shop’s entrance.
The university district was too crowded. Yan Xingli instinctively wanted to take Yuyu away.
But Yuyu was faster.
She nimbly let go of his hand, immediately pumped her short legs, and ran over: “I’ll take it!”
Yan Xingli’s temple throbbed. “No, Yuyu! Put it down!”
The cutout looked thin but was actually quite heavy; it wouldn’t stand upright.
“It belongs to the shop. You can’t just take it!”
“This is Uncle! It’s not a thing!”
Hearing the commotion, a milk tea shop employee came out. At first, they thought it was just a bratty kid causing trouble, but to their surprise, it was the brand ambassador himself!
The employee shrieked with delight. “Ahahaha, Yan Xingli! A real, living one!”
Yan Xingli’s professional instincts kicked in. He immediately smiled. “Yes, I’m real. Hello, hello!”
The excited employee kept screaming, and a crowd started to gather.
A cold sweat broke out on Yan Xingli’s forehead.
At this age, kids have their own way of thinking. An adult couldn’t change their mind in a short time.
Seeing that Yuyu wouldn’t listen, Yan Xingli hardened his heart. “If you don’t put that down, I’m leaving. You can stay here by yourself.”
One long stride of his equaled three of the child’s.
Qi Youyu paused. She looked at the cutout in her hands, then at the real uncle walking away.
The child decisively abandoned the stationary uncle.
“Real uncle!”
“Don’t go! Yuyu will let you pinch her chubby cheeks to play with!”