Lu Ying never imagined that Nan Rao would suddenly disappear without a trace.
Just that afternoon, they had been joyfully engaged in a snowball fight, and the princess, who was usually tense and weighed down by worries, had even shown a rare smile.
Lu Ying and Di Yue had both been deeply worried about her, and it was only when they saw her spirits lift that they breathed a collective sigh of relief.
They both knew that Her Highness's heart was still with Duan Xun.
Even though her true husband was the Grand Chancellor.
She and the Grand Chancellor had been betrothed by the late emperor, witnessed by all under heaven. Everyone knew back then that she had loved the Grand Chancellor, but she had simply forgotten—and after losing her memory, she had married someone else.
Which marriage was valid, then?
And which was not?
The one who married the Grand Chancellor was Princess Huayang, Xiao Lingzhang. The one who married Duan Xun was the orphan Nan Rao. And yet Nan Rao and the princess were the same person—even now, to the outside world, "Nan Rao" had already died in prison.
But she had not yet returned to being the princess, nor did she remember the Grand Chancellor.
They couldn't very well go up to her and bluntly say: Your husband is the Grand Chancellor. Duan Xun doesn't count—he's dead anyway, so forget him now, and settle back into your life of silks and delicacies as the princess, as the mistress of the Chancellor's residence?
That would never do.
Di Yue and Lu Ying both understood the gravity of the situation and guarded the secret with their lives. Chief Clerk Yan had told them that as long as they endured this period, the princess would have her identity restored.
That night, Lu Ying attended to the princess's rest as usual, then fell into a deep, drowsy sleep.
Had she not drunk too much water during the night, she would never have discovered, upon waking to relieve herself, that Nan Rao's bed was empty.
Only a farewell letter remained.
Lu Ying was so terrified she nearly lost her wits. Snatching up the letter, she rushed out in a panic to find the Grand Chancellor, terrified that the princess had truly gone missing. Her voice was choked with tears:
"This servant… this servant doesn't know why she slept so soundly… This is the letter Her Highness left behind…"
Yan Zhan's expression turned grave as he stepped forward, opened the letter, and handed it to Pei Ling.
—The letter was indeed addressed to Pei Ling.
Years of writing had left their mark on her hand, so her calligraphy still resembled what it had been five years ago, though it now carried a touch more elegance and composure, with three parts less sharpness and edge in the strokes.
"I, a common woman of humble birth, have narrowly escaped death. That I received the Grand Chancellor's aid is a great fortune. This meager person is powerless to repay, and can only hope to do so in the future, or in the next life. Now that my late husband's affairs have been settled, I beg your forgiveness for my lack of courtesy in leaving without bidding farewell. I pray you, my lord, take care."
Pei Ling's expression turned icy cold.
So those words of thanks spoken to his face during the day had indeed been her farewell.
Now that the matter was done, she wanted to leave him? If it weren't to keep her here, to earn her trust, why would he have gone to such lengths to clear that man Duan's name?
The man's thin lips pressed tightly together, his knuckles whitening as he crushed the letter paper in his grip.
"Boyu," he said coldly. "Send people out immediately to find her. Use whatever means necessary—she must be brought back."
Yan Zhan started. "Y-Yes."
He hurriedly turned to leave and make arrangements, but was halted by the voice behind him:
"Wait!"
"Hm? Grand Chancellor…"
Yan Zhan was utterly bewildered, unsure what he wanted, when he saw Pei Ling close his eyes.
He had lost his composure just now.
Her identity as the princess had not yet been made known to the world. If he acted too conspicuously now, it might draw the attention of those with sharp eyes.
Moreover, if she learned that he had flown into a rage simply because she left, and was hunting for her everywhere, she would likely be frightened.
He closed his eyes, steadied himself for a moment, then said in a low voice: "Dawn is approaching. Immediately notify the Patrol Commandant and the City Gate Captain. Have them guard the city gates and strictly inspect all persons and goods leaving the city. In addition…" He paused, then added: "Once it's light, send people to search the Lu residence at once."
Yan Zhan clasped his hands and bowed. "This official obeys."
Nan Rao had left the Chancellor's residence under cover of night.
The moment she had seen the imperial decree, she had already made up her mind.
She thought: The matter is settled. She had no reason to stay any longer. Pei Ling might not necessarily ask her to leave, but remaining as a guest in someone else's home, imposing on them, was still inappropriate.
She should go.
She had seen all the care Pei Ling had shown her these past days, and she knew of the subtle attentions Lu Ying and Di Yue had quietly paid her. So during the day, to keep them from worrying, Nan Rao had played a proper snowball fight with them.
Afterward, Nan Rao used fatigue as an excuse to return to her room and rest, but in truth, she secretly added a large amount of Calming Incense to the boshan censer in the corner.
These past nights she had been plagued by nightmares, and it was only thanks to the Calming Incense Chief Clerk Yan had sent that she had been able to sleep more peacefully.
An excessive amount of Calming Incense was enough to send one into a deep, rapid slumber.
When deep night fell, Nan Rao covered her mouth and nose with her sleeve, pinching herself with her nails to stay awake, and quietly turned over to lift the bed curtain.
By the light of the bright moon, she saw that Lu Ying was fast asleep.
Nan Rao silently threw off the covers, rose, and dressed herself. Then she quietly reached beneath her pillow and retrieved the letter she had prepared in advance.
After setting the letter in place, Nan Rao picked up the lantern set to one side and cast one last look back at the sleeping Lu Ying.
She hesitated no longer. Pushing open the door, she stepped out.
Outside, wind and snow raged.
Nan Rao had long since mapped out the route to the Chancellor's residence and had casually probed Di Yue for information, knowing exactly when the patrol guards would be fewest. Moreover, everyone believed her mood had improved, so their vigilance toward her would be relaxed.
It was the dead of night now. Nan Rao left the Chancellor's residence without trouble, walking along the empty, deserted main street.
Lanterns illuminated the drifting snowflakes, casting her figure small as a speck of dust.
The Three Excellencies' residences in Luoyang were clustered near the Southern Palace, each estate sprawling across vast grounds. With their assembled staff and bureaus, they were practically miniature courts—imposing and magnificent beyond measure.
And aside from the Three Excellencies' residences, there was the General-in-Chief's mansion.
As Nan Rao passed the General-in-Chief's mansion, she could not help but glance at the tightly shut gates. The doorway was draped in white mourning cloth, and the plaque at the top bore the character "Duan."
This was the home where A-Xun had once lived.
What a pity that the world was fickle—the once-bustling General-in-Chief's mansion was now covered in withered fallen leaves, with no one to sweep them away.
Nan Rao averted her gaze with a pang of sorrow and continued forward, following the route she remembered. In less than half an hour, she arrived at the Lu residence.
She raised her hand and knocked on the door ring.
Soon, the door was pulled open a crack from within. A young servant on night watch rubbed his eyes and asked, "Who are you?"
Nan Rao said, "Please trouble yourself to inform Lord Lu that Nan Rao requests an audience."
The servant closed the door and went inside.
Lu Ke had already retired to bed. When he heard the servant report that Nan Rao had arrived, he nearly forgot to put on his shoes, hastily throwing on an outer robe before rushing out of his bedchamber. He pushed open the front door and looked—it truly was Nan Rao. His eyes widened. "Sister-in-law?"
Nan Rao coughed into her sleeve and nodded to him. "Lord Lu."
Lu Ke quickly opened the door wide, glanced left and right outside to make sure no one was following her, then hurriedly ushered her inside and shut the door firmly behind them. "In the middle of the night, and so cold—why have you come alone…"
Nan Rao looked up at him. "I slipped out of the Chancellor's residence."
Lu Ke sucked in a sharp breath.
She was certainly bold. With all those guards at the Chancellor's residence, she had simply slipped away like that?
Granted, the case had been concluded. Nan Rao had originally stayed at the Chancellor's residence because her identity was sensitive, and leaving now posed no major problem. But Lu Ke still felt that her casual, matter-of-fact tone was far too composed.
Nan Rao actually did not want to act so stealthily either—leaving without a proper farewell was too discourteous. But thinking of how well Pei Ling had treated her, she had a strange intuition: if she had gone to bid Pei Ling a proper farewell, she likely would not have been able to leave at all.
To avoid any complications that might arise from delay, she had simply left.
Nan Rao lowered her eyelashes. "To be honest, what Young Master Lu said to me that day in the prison did not move me."
Lu Ke was taken aback. "Then why did you…"
"It was only that day I suddenly realized—if even Young Master Lu, an official at court, found it so difficult and troublesome, then if I continued to be stubborn, I would only drag more innocent people down to sacrifice for me, with no other effect." Nan Rao pressed her lips together and smiled at him. "So I played along. Since the Chancellor has such extraordinary abilities, surely he can clear my husband's name."
Lu Ke's heart churned with mixed emotions in that instant. He let out a long sigh. "For you to say this, sister-in-law, truly shames me."
He had failed Duan Xun—failed to look after his wife properly, and to protect himself, he had been forced to do things against his conscience.
Nan Rao did not mind any of this in the slightest. If others were truly harmed because of her, then she would regret and blame herself.
She looked up at Lu Ke. "To be frank, the reason I risked coming to find you today is a matter of importance. Before I struck the petition drum, I had on me a jade pendant that A-Xun left me. Later, to prove my identity, the commandant of justice took it as evidence. Do you have any way to help me retrieve it?"
It was her only keepsake.
When she mentioned the jade pendant, Lu Ke suddenly remembered. He quickly said, "That thing is in my possession." He told her to wait in the front hall for a moment, then turned and went back to his study to fetch it.
Soon, Lu Ke handed Nan Rao the jade pendant carved with the character "Xun."
Nan Rao was puzzled. "Why is it with you?"
Lu Ke found it strange as well. In fact, on the second day after he had visited Nan Rao in the prison, the item had been handed over to him by the prison officials, on the grounds that "Nan Rao had been poisoned to death in custody."
By rights, Duan Xun's keepsake should have been given to his widow. But when Lu Ke tried to send it to the Chancellor's residence, Chief Clerk Yan had turned it away.
Could it be that they did not want Nan Rao to have Duan Xun's keepsake? Why?
Lu Ke could not figure it out. He only said, "Check it carefully first—is this the one?"
Nan Rao examined it closely.
This was the jade pendant Duan Xun had always worn, the cord still one she had braided with her own hands.
Seeing the keepsake of a departed loved one inevitably stirred memories of the person. Nan Rao's fingertips gently traced the character "Xun" on it, and her eyes suddenly grew hot.
She kept her head lowered, her damp lashes bathed in the warm glow of the lantern, the tip of her nose flushed red.
It was a long while before she raised her sleeve to wipe the tears from her cheeks and nodded.
"It's this one."
Lu Ke sighed at the sight of her. "Sister-in-law, your journey here has not been easy. Many officials in the court have spoken up for the Duan Clan before, but none dared to voice their support openly. Who would have thought that the one to finally clear the Duan family's name would be you? However, since the Chancellor did this for you, leaving without a word—I wonder if you might have offended him."
Nan Rao couldn't help but recall how Pei Ling had treated her. Though his outward demeanor was cold and reserved, the care beneath it was discernible. "Perhaps he will be angry, but I don't think he would make a great fuss over my leaving."
After all, they were nothing to each other…
Lu Ke sighed. "Let's hope so. Sister-in-law, stay here for the night, and we'll discuss things when dawn breaks."
Nan Rao said, "Thank you."
Lu Ke asked again, "What are your plans afterward?"
Nan Rao shook her head gently.
She didn't know.
For someone who had lost her memories, going anywhere seemed the same.
She just didn't want to stay in Luoyang.
A-Xun had never liked this place in his lifetime. He said it was full of interests, scheming, and deceit—that even the most pure and kind-hearted person would become unrecognizable here.
"Perhaps… return to Qingzhou." She thought for a moment, then said seriously, "Go home. I want to go home."
Though a place without loved ones could hardly be called home anymore.
From now on, she would have to face life alone.