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I Became Usopp… This Has to Be a Joke, Right 1: 1.
I Became Usopp… This Has to Be a Joke, Right Isekai.
A single word.
A famous word.
A dangerous word.
Dangerous.
Because it made people dream.
Reincarnation.
Another world.
Power beyond imagination.
Fame, glory, adventure—and, of course, beautiful companions who would somehow fall in love with you for absolutely no reason.
People loved those stories.
I loved those stories.
At night, after dragging myself through another exhausting day, I would lie on my bed and imagine it.
A different life.
A better life.
A life where I wasn’t just… me.
I imagined myself standing at the peak of the world.
Crushing legends like Goku with a flick of my finger.
Outsmarting monsters like Aizen with a smug grin.
Beating Saitama—okay, that one was unrealistic, none of them were, but in my dreams, logic didn’t matter.
I imagined rewriting the world.
Fixing it.
Breaking it.
Owning it.
Sometimes I even imagined darker things—like punishing people who deserved it, destroying corrupt systems, even wiping out entire governments to rebuild something “better.” …Yeah.
I had issues.
But those fantasies?
They were my escape.
A temporary refuge.
A way to trick my brain into feeling satisfied before reality came knocking again the next morning.
Because deep down, I knew the truth.
Those things would never happen.
I would wake up.
Go to work.
Come back tired.
Repeat.
That was reality.
That was life.
…..Or at least, it was.
People say that when you’re about to die, your entire life flashes before your eyes.
I used to think that was just something people said to sound poetic.
Turns out, it’s real.
Everything came rushing back.
From the moment I first became aware of the world, maybe around three years old, to every memory I had ever experienced.
Every laugh.
Every failure.
Every embarrassment I wished I could erase.
Every regret I buried.
It all played out like a movie.
Fast.
Too fast.
I couldn’t even process it.
I was just… watching.
And then— White.
A blinding, overwhelming white.
The accident.
I remembered it now.
A truck.
A frozen road in winter.
Bad luck stacked on worse luck.
The truck lost control.
It spun, slid across lanes like a missile with no brakes.
And me?
I was just driving home.
My body exhausted after twelve hours of work.
My mind was numb.
My hands barely gripping the wheel.
By the time I noticed, it was already too late.
No dramatic reaction.
No heroic maneuver.
No desperate scream.
Just a simple thought.
“…Ah.” And then, darkness.
“…Huh?” I woke up.
“…What?” My brain struggled to catch up.
“I’m alive?” How?
That wasn’t a minor accident.
That was the kind of accident that gets replayed in news reports with sad music in the background.
Maybe… Maybe I survived?
Maybe I got insanely lucky?
“Am I in the hospital?” This had to be it.
Yeah, that made sense.
Except, hospitals don’t look like this.
The ceiling above me was made of wood, old wood.
The walls?
Also wood.
The bed?
Hard enough to qualify as a medieval torture device.
And the smell?
Dusty, dry, old.
“…What kind of budget hospital is this?!” I raised my hand instinctively.
And then, everything stopped.
“…Huh?” My hand…..
Small.
“…No.” I stared at it.
Turned it left.
Turned it right.
Wiggled my fingers.
“…No, no, no, no, no.” This wasn’t right.
This wasn’t my hand.
I wasn’t exactly a bodybuilder, but I was a grown adult.
My hands weren’t this small.
This was— “…A kid’s hand?” My voice trembled.
“This is a kid’s hand.” Panic began creeping up my spine.
Something was wrong.
Something was very wrong.
And then- pain.
A sharp, splitting headache exploded in my skull.
“GAAAH—!” I clutched my head as something forced its way into my mind.
Memories that were not mine flooding my brain.
A small village.
A quiet life.
A boy running through dirt roads.
A mother smiling gently.
A father leaving.
The sea.
Pirates.
Lies.
Dreams.
And then, a name.
Usopp.
“…No.” Cold sweat drenched my back.
“No.
No, no, no!
That’s not even funny.” My breathing became uneven.
“I became… Usopp?” From One Piece?
The guy with the long nose?
The liar?
The coward who screams first and runs second?
The future “brave warrior of the sea” who spends half his time panicking?!
“…Me?” I slapped my cheeks hard.
“Snap out of it!” This was ridiculous!
Absurd!
Impossible!
“This is a dream.
That’s it.
A really weird, extremely detailed, slightly concerning dream.” Yeah, that had to be it.
There was no way reincarnation was real.
No way.
“…Alright.” I took a deep breath.
“If it’s a dream, then I’ll just… play along.” Yeah, that sounded reasonable.
Enjoy the dream, wake up later, no problem happened.
“Phew!” I got out of bed.
My legs moved smoothly.
Too smoothly.
“…This is getting more suspicious.” I stepped outside, and froze.
The house, the table, the smell of food, the sunlight hitting the wooden floor.
Everything felt— familiar.
“…Why does this feel familiar?!” I had never been here before.
So why did it feel like I had?
“Usopp, you’re awake?
Go wash your face first.
You can’t eat like that.” “…Alright, Mom.” … … … …WAIT!
I froze.
My brain caught up.
Slowly.
Very slowly.
…What did I just say?
Mom?
I said… Mom?!
I pointed at myself.
Me?
I looked around.
No, no, no, there’s no hidden camera here, right?
This is some kind of prank?
Reality show?
‘Watch a grown man mentally collapse in 5 minutes’?!
…..
No answer.
Of course.
“…I’ve lost it.” I nodded solemnly.
“Yes.
That’s it.
I’ve finally gone insane.” That explanation felt more believable than reincarnation.
Still, my body moved.
Naturally.
Like it had done this a thousand times.
I walked to the well, pulled the rope, drew water, washed my face.
I didn’t even think about all that.
My hands just… knew what to do.
“…Is this autopilot?
Or am I just borrowing this kid’s muscle memory?” Either way— Creepy.
Very creepy.
I returned inside.
Sat down.
Ate.
And then— I froze again.
“…This tastes real.” Too real.
The warmth of the soup.
The slight saltiness.
The rough texture of the bread.
The fresh milk.
“…Since when do dreams have this kind of budget?!” Dreams were supposed to be vague, blurry, weird.
Not… this.
This was detailed.
Too detailed.
A bad feeling formed in my chest.
After eating, I stood up.
“I’m going out for a bit!” “Don’t be late, Usopp.” “Got it, Mom!” …There it was again.
I held my head.
“Why am I saying that so naturally?!” At this rate, I’d start calling random strangers “uncle” and “auntie” too!
“…Sigh.” I stepped outside.
“I need to think.” Seriously think.
Because something was very wrong here.
My feet carried me to the coast.
Instinctively.
“…Of course, it’s the coast.” This was where Usopp always came to think about his father, Yasopp.
“…Tch.” I clicked my tongue.
“I still don’t really like that guy.” Yeah, I knew the story.
His wife encouraged him to go.
Supported his dream.
But still, leaving your wife and kid?
“…That doesn’t sit right with me.” Pirate or not, dream or not, some lines just felt… wrong.
“…Focus!” I shook my head.
“Wake up first.
Ethics debate later.” So— How do you wake up from a dream?
Simple.
Shock.
Shock to the brain.
I looked at the cliff nearby.
Tall.
Very tall.
Extremely tall.
“…..Nope.” I immediately shook my head.
It was still scary even in a dream.
“I want to wake up, not skip straight to meeting the afterlife receptionist.” So I picked a smaller ledge.
Still dangerous.
But survivable.
Probably.
“…Alright.” I took a deep breath.
“If this doesn’t wake me up, I’m filing a complaint to the dream management department.” “3… 2… 1…” I jumped.
“—AAAAAAAAAAAH—!” I fell.
“GAAAAH—!” I hit the ground.
Face-first.
Graceful landing?
Perfect roll?
Yeah, no.
I flopped like a dying fish.
“My nose—!
MY NOSE—!” I clutched my face, rolling around.
“DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS NOSE IS?!
THIS IS A NATIONAL TREASURE!
A CULTURAL HERITAGE!” …Then I froze.
“…It hurts.” Real pain.
Sharp, clear, undeniable pain.
“…Why does it hurt?” Dreams didn’t feel like this.
Not like this.
Panic exploded.
“No.
No, no, no, no—this is still a dream!” I scrambled to my feet and ran.
And then, I noticed.
“…I’m running normally.” No slow motion.
No heavy legs.
No weird resistance.
“…That’s not right.” In dreams, I could never run properly.
I’d always feel slow, weak, like something was holding me back.
But now?
I was fast, balanced, moving correctly.
“…NO!” Without hesitation, I sprinted toward the ocean.
“IF THIS DOESN’T WORK, I’M SUING REALITY ITSELF!” I jumped.
Cold water wrapped around me.
“…It’s cold.” Too cold.
Too real.
I kicked, plunged mybhead, screamed underwater like a lunatic.
“WAKE UP!
WAKE UP!
WAKE UUUUP!!” Nothing.
I stayed under longer.
Hoping.
Begging.
But again, nothing.
I surfaced, gasping.
I crawled onto the shore and collapsed.
“…Haah… haah…” My chest rose and fell rapidly.
My body trembled.
“…Why?” I pressed my hands into the sand.
“…Why am I not waking up?” I tried again.
Pinched myself hard.
“OW!” Slapped my face.
“STOP FEELING REAL, YOU STUPID DREAM!” Nothing changed.
I laughed.
Weakly.
“…Haha.” Then louder.
“HAHAHAHA—!” “…This isn’t funny.” I fell silent.
Only the sound of waves was heard.
“…This isn’t a dream, is it?” The words came out on their own.
“…It’s real.” My vision blurred.
“I…” My voice shook.
“I died.” The truck.
The impact.
The light.
“…I really died.” My hands trembled as I looked at them.
Small.
Childish.
“And now…” I looked at the water.
The reflection staring back.
Long nose.
Familiar face.
“…I was reborn.” Silence.
“…As Usopp.” I laughed again.
But this time, it was a laugh full of insanity.
“…You’ve got to be kidding me.” Fear crept in, slowly.
Cold.
Heavy.
“This is One Piece.” A world of pirates, of monsters, of people who could destroy islands.
“And I’m…” I clenched my fists.
“…Usopp.” The coward.
The liar.
The weakest among monsters.
“…I’m going to die again, aren’t I?” My shoulders shook.
“…No.” I shook my head.
“No… no…” I took a deep breath.
I forced it.
“…If I really got a second life…” Then— “…I’m not wasting it.” I looked at the horizon, at the endless sea.
Fear was still there.
Of course it was.
But beneath it, something else began to grow.
A resolve.
“…If I’m Usopp…” I clenched my fists tighter.
“…Then I’ll become the bravest Usopp this world has ever seen.” I paused.
“…Eventually.” I wiped my face.
I sniffed.
“…After I survive childhood.” Because right now?
“I’m still six.” And honestly?
“That’s already terrifying enough.”