High above the Central Capital, the sky cracked open like shattered glass.
Swirling storm clouds gathered into a massive spatial storm as the colossal, three-hundred-meter gold-and-black warship of the Immortal Sword Palace forced its way through the realm boundary. Spiritual thunder rumbled across the heavens, casting heavy shadows over the mountains below.
Yet, floating peacefully half a mile above the Lu Imperial Clan Estate, wrapped inside an invisible spatial bubble of warmth and luxury, was Lu Chen and his three breathtaking heroines.
Lu Chen hovered effortlessly in the air, his dark purple silk robes fluttering softly in the spatial wind. His crimson hair cascaded down his back like a waterfall of red silk, and his newly formed, divine Nascent Soul Realm aura radiated a soothing, golden-purple glow around them.
On his left, Saintess Ji Xue drifted beside him, her sky-blue silk dress rustling against his arm. Her dark eyes looked up at the massive warship descending from the clouds, a subtle trace of concern flickering across her pale, delicate face.
"Lu Chen..." Ji Xue murmured softly, her crisp voice carrying a gentle warmth as she instinctively reached out, her slender fingers lacing into Lu Chen’s hand. "That warship carries the core domain array of the Immortal Sword Palace. Young Master Zhao Tian is a genuine Peak Nascent Soul cultivator, and he has dozens of elders behind him. Are you truly certain we shouldn't activate the clan's grand killing array first?"
Lu Chen turned his head, his glowing purple eyes looking down at Ji Xue with a smooth, profoundly comforting smile. He gave her soft, trembling hand a gentle squeeze, drawing her half an inch closer to his side.
"My sweet Ji Xue," Lu Chen murmured, his deep, magnetic voice brushing against her shell-like ear, causing a delicate rosy blush to spread across her cheeks. "Activating a killing array requires burning three million spirit stones. Why waste good money on loud violence when a pinch of fine powder can turn a terrifying warship into a peaceful nursery?"
Beside them, Princess Yao Ji giggled purringly. She was sitting sideways on a floating spatial cushion, hugging her fluffy pink stuffed bunny Barnaby tightly against her chest, her tiny black velvet horns twitching with pure, unadulterated delight.
"He's right, Ice Saintess!" Yao Ji teased, giving Ji Xue a playful wink with her fox-like purple eyes. "Handsome big brother never uses boring swords. His mischievous powders are far more terrifying! Right, big brother?"
Standing silently on Lu Chen’s right was Ye Qingxian. Her silver hair glowed under the thunderous sky, her dark blue combat silk accentuating her pristine figure. Her hand rested calmly on the hilt of her ice blade, her icy gaze fixed entirely on Lu Chen with total, unyielding devotion.
"The Young Master's wisdom is absolute," Ye Qingxian said softly, her voice cool yet filled with deep affection. "Whatever the Young Master commands, my blade shall execute."
Lu Chen let out a low, irresistible laugh, looking down at his hands as he held three sleek, silver canisters filled with a glittering, rainbow-colored powder.
Looking at the arrogant, storm-bearing warship descending above them, Lu Chen’s mind drifted back into a fond, distant memory from his earlier days in the Lu Clan.
Ah... I remember it so clearly, Lu Chen thought to himself with a fond, devilish smirk.
Three years ago, when he was still an ordinary young prince, a pompous rogue elder had hovered above the Lu Clan market, screaming loud, arrogant speeches for four straight hours, boasting about his background and disturbing everyone’s afternoon nap. Lu Chen had sat on his balcony, nursing a headache, watching the old man shout until his throat turned blue.
That day, Lu Chen had stared at the screaming elder and thought: "Why must arrogant people shout so loudly? Wouldn't the world be so much sweeter if every time an arrogant fool tried to scream a death threat, their voice turned into the delicate, high-pitched cooing of a newborn baby?"
That single afternoon nap inspiration had given birth to one of his proudest creations—the "Nine-Heavens Infant-Cooing & Pacifier Toxin"!
BOOM!
The clouds shattered completely as the colossal gold-and-black warship descended to a halt five hundred feet directly above Lu Chen's position!
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Standing at the prow of the ship, clad in glowing golden dragon armor, was Young Master Zhao Tian! His silver hair whipped wildly in the wind, his Peak Nascent Soul pressure surging like a tidal wave, and the third eye in his forehead—the Divine Celestial Eye—pulsing with terrifying, blood-red light!
Behind him stood forty elite deacons and six Senior Elders of the Immortal Sword Palace, all grinding their teeth in absolute, volcanic fury after watching their three Void Elders do ballet in their undergarments!
"LU CHEN!" Zhao Tian’s voice boomed across fifty miles like localized thunder, rattling the windows of the city below! "YOU LOWER REALM INSECT! YOU DARE HUMILIATE THE ELDERS OF MY IMMORTAL SWORD PALACE?!"
Zhao Tian stepped up to the railing, pointing a glowing golden sword straight down at Lu Chen, his face contorted in pure, murderous rage. Get faster updates on g.com.
"KNEEL BEFORE ME THIS INSTANT!" Zhao Tian roared, his voice trembling with unbridled fury. "HAND OVER YOUR SPATIAL RINGS, STRIP YOUR CULTIVATION, AND SURRENDER YOUR THREE WOMEN TO BE MY CULTIVATION CAULDRONS! OTHERWISE, I SHALL ERASE THE LU CLAN FROM THE FACE OF THIS DOMAIN!"
Down below, Saintess Ji Xue’s dark eyes flashed with cold anger at his crude words, but Lu Chen merely patted her shoulder gently, stepping forward into the sky with absolute, angelic tranquility.
Lu Chen closed his silver fan with a soft snap, looking up at Zhao Tian with a warm, pitying smile.
"Young Master Zhao," Lu Chen spoke smoothly, his voice carrying clearly across the heavens. "You shout so loudly for someone who traveled so far. You must be extremely tired. Allow me to offer you a special soothing breeze from the lower realm."
With an effortless, fluid flick of his sleeve, Lu Chen unstoppered all three silver canisters!
SWISH!
Using his newly consolidated Nascent Soul spatial mastery, Lu Chen didn't just throw the powder—he fused the microscopic rainbow dust directly into the air currents flowing straight into the warship's central ventilation array!
In less than a hundredth of a second, an invisible wave of the Nine-Heavens Infant-Cooing & Pacifier Toxin saturated the entire command deck of the warship!
SNORT!
Zhao Tian and all forty elites inhaled the sparkling dust deep into their lungs!
Zhao Tian puffed out his chest, his golden armor glowing brilliantly as he raised his sword to give the order to fire the ship's spiritual cannons!
"ALL CANNONS, TARGET THE LU CLAN! PREPARE TO DIE, YOU LOWER REALM—"
Zhao Tian opened his mouth to scream the final command, but the moment his vocal cords vibrated, the powder’s spatial rule-rewrite took complete control!
"GOO-GOO GA-GA! AWW... DADA! GOO-GOO!"
Zhao Tian’s booming, terrifying voice instantly transformed into an extraordinarily high-pitched, delicate, squeaky baby coo!
Silence.
Absolute, suffocating, cosmic silence fell over the entire warship deck.
Zhao Tian’s blood-red third eye went wide in sheer, unimaginable horror! He slapped both of his golden-armored hands over his mouth, his face turning from pale white to bright crimson, then to a dark, bruised violet!
WHAT DID I JUST SAY?! Zhao Tian screamed hysterically inside his mind, his soul trembling violently! GOO-GOO GA-GA?! MY VOICE! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY VOICE?!
He frantically turned toward his Senior Elders, pointing at Lu Chen while trying to shout: "ATTACK HIM! KILL HIM NOW!"
"GUGU! MAMA! PEE-PEE POO-POO GOO!" Zhao Tian blurted out at maximum volume, his high-pitched baby squeaks echoing across the entire sky!
PFT!
Behind him, all forty deacons and six Senior Elders opened their mouths to yell in panic, but the moment they spoke, the entire deck erupted into a chaotic symphony of baby noises! The source of this chapter is g.com.
"BA-BA! MAMA-GAGA!"
"GOO-GOO! WAAAH! DADA!"
Forty elite Upper Realm cultivators and six Senior Nascent Soul Elders stood on the deck of their colossal warship, stomping their feet in pure rage while blurted out high-pitched baby coos and infant squeaks!
Down below, Saintess Ji Xue couldn't contain it for another second! She buried her face directly into Lu Chen’s chest, her shoulders shaking violently as uncontrollable, breathless laughter burst from her lips!
"Pfft... ahahaha! Lu Chen... goo-goo ga-ga?!" Ji Xue gasped, tears of laughter streaming down her cheeks as she held onto his waist! "The Chosen Son of Fate is cooing like a three-month-old infant!"
Yao Ji rolled on her spatial cushion, hugging her stuffed bunny Barnaby as she laughed so hard she could barely breathe! "HAHAHAHA! LOOK AT HIS GOLDEN ARMOR! HE'S SHOUTING 'PEE-PEE POO-POO' WITH A SERIOUS FACE! HAHAHAHA!"
Ye Qingxian’s cool, stoic persona completely shattered, a bright, beautiful, musical laugh ringing out as she watched the Upper Realm warship descend into absolute nursery chaos.
[Ding!]
[Target Zhao Tian and Immortal Sword Palace Elites Neutralized!]
[100% Non-Violent Menace Victory Achieved!]
[Target Resentment (Anger & Frustration) Harvested from 47 Upper Realm Cultivators!]
[Generating Massive Resentment Points!]
[System Points Awarded: 150,000 Points!]
[Total System Points Available: 250,000 Points!]
Zhao Tian stood at the prow of his ship, tears of pure, agonizing, helpless resentment streaming down his face. He was burning with so much rage that his meridians felt like they were going to burst, yet every time he tried to scream his murderous hatred, his mouth merely let out a soft, adorable: "Goo-goo~!"
They couldn't fight. They couldn't command. They were completely, utterly helpless against Lu Chen’s absurd, rule-bending menace!
Lu Chen floated up to the edge of the warship's deck, stepping smoothly onto the golden railing. He looked down at the weeping, cooing Zhao Tian with profound, angelic pity, closing his silver fan and tapping it lightly against his palm.
"Ah, Young Master Zhao," Lu Chen smirked smoothly, his purple eyes gleam with divine, devilish amusement. "You see? Isn't it much better when we speak peacefully?"
Lu Chen casually reached out, plucking Zhao Tian’s high-grade Upper Realm spatial ring straight off his finger, along with the warship's central command jade!
"Now..." Lu Chen smiled warmly, winking at his three breathless heroines below.
"Since you brought such a lovely warship t o my doorstep, I suppose I'll accept it as a gift for the Lu Clan!”