The wind high above the Central Capital blew cold, but inside the stolen command deck of the gold-and-black immortal warship, the temperature felt like a blazing furnace of pure, unadulterated shame.
Young Master Zhao Tian slumped against the golden dragon-bone throne, his divine dragon armor stripped of its core array jade. His face was a horrifying shade of deep purple-red, his eyes bloodshot, and his third forehead eye twitching so violently it looked like it might pop out of his skull.
Beside him, six Senior Nascent Soul Elders and forty elite deacons of the Immortal Sword Palace were huddled together in a corner. Every single one of them was grinding their teeth so hard that sparks almost flew, their eyes burning with rivers of absolute, volcanic Resentment!
HATE! HATE! WE HATE THIS LOWER REALM DEMON TO OUR VERY BONES! Zhao Tian screamed hysterical curses inside his mind. HE TOOK MY WARSHIP! HE TOOK MY SPATIAL RING! HE TOOK MY DIGNITY!
He took a deep breath, trying with all his spiritual might to suppress the lingering toxin in his vocal cords so he could threaten Lu Chen one last time.
"L-Lu... hic... Chen..." Zhao Tian growled, straining his vocal muscles until his neck veins bulged. "Y-You think... you've won?! My father... is an Ancient Soul Transformation Ancestor of the Upper Realm! If you don't return my warship... he will—"
"GOO-GOO GA-GA! PEE-PEE MAMA!" Zhao Tian blurted out at maximum volume, his high-pitched, delicate baby squeak booming through the warship's loudspeaker array across the entire city!
PFFFT!
Down on the plush velvet lounge chair that Lu Chen had casually deployed onto the ship's upper deck, Saintess Ji Xue stuffed a silk handkerchief into her mouth, her entire body shaking as she tried not to burst into breathless laughter again.
"Lu Chen..." Ji Xue gasped softly, her cheeks flushed a bright, delicate rose pink as she leaned against his shoulder. "If you keep making him squeak like that, his third eye really is going to explode."
"Let it explode!" Princess Yao Ji giggled, sitting right on Lu Chen's lap, her translucent black lace sleeves fluttering as she held her stuffed bunny Barnaby up to wave at Zhao Tian. "Look at him, Barnaby! The big, scary Upper Realm Chosen Son is threatening us with baby talk!"
Ye Qingxian stood gracefully behind Lu Chen’s chair, pouring a fresh cup of fragrant snow-lotus tea. A soft, serene smile rested on her lips as she handed the cup to her master.
"Young Master," Ye Qingxian reported calmly. "I have completely rewritten the core spatial array of this warship. It now recognizes the Lu Imperial Clan as its sole master. The Immortal Sword Palace's control seals have been utterly erased."
[Ding!]
[Command Deck Array Rewritten!]
[Stolen Asset Acquired: Upper Realm Grade-A Immortal Warship 'Sky-Rend']
[Continuous Resentment Points Harvested from Zhao Tian & 46 Elites!]
[System Points Awarded: 80,000 Points!]
[Total System Points Available: 330,000 Points!]
Lu Chen swirled his warm tea, taking a slow, relaxed sip as his glowing purple eyes swept over the weeping, cooing Upper Realm cultivators.
"Ah... 330,000 System Points," Lu Chen murmured to himself with a deeply satisfied, villainous smirk. "Upper Realm guests truly are the most generous donors."
Lu Chen set his teacup down, snapping his silver fan shut with a crisp click. He stood up, his crimson hair swaying in the wind, his Nascent Soul Realm aura spreading outward like a gentle, irresistible mountain.
He walked casually over to Zhao Tian, stopping two inches away from the trembling, golden-armored Chosen Son.
"Young Master Zhao," Lu Chen spoke smoothly, his voice warm, velvety, and dangerously magnetic. "You mentioned your father is an Ancient Soul Transformation Ancestor?"
Zhao Tian glared at him with pure, murderous hatred, nodding frantically while letting out an angry: "DADA! GOO!"
"I see," Lu Chen smiled angelicly, reaching into his spatial ring. "In that case, as a polite host, I cannot let you return to your father looking so stressed and angry. A true gentleman always ensures his guests leave with a fresh, memorable look."
Lu Chen pulled out a massive, golden alchemical jar labeled: "The Nine-Heavens Imperial Diaper & Bowtie Powder".
Zhao Tian’s eyes went wider than saucers. His soul shivered with an instinctual, primordial terror!
NO! NO! WHAT IS THAT JAR?! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO ME?! Zhao Tian tried to scream, but only managed a frantic: "MAMA-GAGA! WAAAAH!"
"Do not worry, it is 100% non-violent," Lu Chen reassured him gently, unstoppers the jar with a light flick of his wrist.
SWISH!
A sparkling cloud of brilliant golden dust enveloped Zhao Tian and all forty-six elites!
FLASH!
Instantly, the golden dragon armor on Zhao Tian’s body dissolved into glowing light, replaced by a massive, super-fluffy, oversized white imperial silk diaper wrapped around his waist, complete with a absurdly large, bright pink satin bowtie tied neatly around his neck!
FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!
All forty-six Senior Elders and elite deacons were similarly transformed! Their venerable elder robes vanished, replaced by giant, fluffy white silk diapers and multicolored satin bowties!
Forty-seven top-tier Upper Realm cultivators stood on the deck of the warship, wearing giant silk diapers and oversized pink bowties, looking like an elite squad of furious, muscular, white-bearded infants!
PFT!
Ji Xue couldn't hold it back anymore. She fell against Ye Qingxian’s shoulder, laughing so hard that tears streamed freely down her face! "A... A DIAPER?! YOU PUT THEM IN GIANT DIAPERS?!"
Yao Ji was rolling on the carpet, pounding her small fist against the floor in sheer, hysterical bliss! "HAHAHAHA! THE ELDERS ARE WEARING PINK BOWTIES! THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!" This chapter was taken from g.com without permission.
Zhao Tian looked down at his fluffy white diaper and pink bowtie. A single, heavy tear of absolute, soul-shattering embarrassment rolled down his pale cheek.
[Ding!]
[Ultimate Non-Violent Menace Triumph Achieved!]
[Inflicted 1,000,000% Permanent Emotional Trauma!]
[Target Resentment Reaches Absolute Historic Peak!]
[System Points Awarded: 120,000 Points!]
[Total System Points Available: 450,000 Points!]
Lu Chen activated his 4K memory projection jade once more, taking a quick, high-definition group photo with the diapered Zhao Tian and his elders in the background while Lu Chen held Ji Xue and Yao Ji close in his arms.
With a smooth flick of his sleeve, Lu Chen deployed a small, automated escape boat, loading all forty-seven diaper-clad cultivators into it.
"Safe travels back to the Upper Realm, Young Master Zhao!" Lu Chen called out cheerfully, waving his silver fan as the escape boat auto-piloted back toward the spatial rift. "Do give my warm regards to your father, the Soul Transformation Ancestor!"
"GOO-GOO WAAAAAH!" Zhao Tian wept hysterically as his escape boat shot into the spatial portal, his voice fading into the distance.
As the spatial rift slowly sealed shut, returning peace and quiet to the Southern Domain skies, the giant gold-and-black warship floated majestically above the Lu Imperial Clan Estate.
Lu Chen stood at the prow, looking out over his vast domain.
Ji Xue walked up beside him, gently sliding her arm through his, resting her head against his shoulder. Her dark eyes were filled with soft, deep devotion. "Lu Chen... you really are the most ridiculous, terrifying man in this entire world."
"A handsome man," Lu Chen corrected smoothly, leaning down to press a soft, sweet kiss onto her forehead, causing her heart to skip a chaotic beat.
Yao Ji hugged his other arm, her velvet horns twirling happily. "So, handsome big brother... now that we have a super Upper Realm warship, where are we taking our next vacation?"
Ye Qingxian stepped forward, her ice-blue eyes gleaming with sharp anticipation. "Young Master, with 450,000 System Points and this warship, we can open the pathway directly to the Upper Realm whenever you desire."
Lu Chen looked up at the vast, starry sky, a brilliant, devilish smirk playing on his lips as he held his three heroines close.
"The Upper Realm, you say?" Lu Chen chuckled softly, swirling his fan.
"System... let's prepare the recipes for an Upper Realm-wide supply of educational powders. It seems the higher realms are in dire need of some lower-realm hospitality!"