Ji Yunshu woke up crying.
Dazedly, she opened her eyes. A large patch of her pillow was soaked, the day outside was already bright and clear, and cicadas were making a deafening racket on the locust tree outside the window. She stared at the ceiling for a long time, her heart still pounding wildly in her chest.
That dream was too long—so long that Ji Yunshu still felt exhausted after waking up.
In the dream, she had married He Jianjun, the second son of the He family, to whom she was engaged.
Things were decent right after they married; the relationship between husband and wife was very harmonious. Ji Yunshu was the prettiest girl among the younger generation in the military compound, while He Jianjun was the most promising youth of this generation. With two prominent families joining in alliance, who wouldn’t say it was a match made in heaven?
Yet, as time went on, things began to turn sour.
Mother He disliked her for not knowing how to manage a household, disliked her for not washing clothes cleanly, disliked her for not cooking well, disliked her for being overly delicate by needing to drink egg water every morning, and disdained her even more for failing to bear a child after three years of marriage.
When she hung clothes out in the yard, the aunties next door stood nearby gossiping in voices neither too loud nor too quiet—just enough for her to hear. “That daughter of the Ji family was spoiled since childhood; how could she possibly attend to her mother-in-law?” “Is that not so? I heard Old Lady He scolds her every day, uttering the most awful things.”
Ji Yunshu had never washed clothes or cooked food growing up; how could she possibly do them well? Clearly, they could fetch food from the mess hall for meals, and Mother He could wash her own clothes. Why did she alone have to wash the entire family’s clothes and bedsheets? Unwilling to submit, Ji Yunshu only washed her own clothes, but what she got in return was Mother He complaining about her with intensified disdain in front of He Jianjun.
Later, the frequency of He Jianjun coming home grew less and less. On the rare occasions he did return, he always wore a stern, sullen face. When she spoke to him, he would give a indifferent grunt; when she leaned in close to him, he would dodge to the side.
Only later did she realize that he was not busy; he simply did not want to return.
Not until that day when she received a notice to collect some items at the subdistrict office did she walk through the door and see He Jianjun sitting inside. Next to him stood a woman with a small red mole between her eyebrows, her belly swollen high. Seeing her, that woman smiled and raised a hand to tuck her hair.
He Jianjun stood up, pulled a piece of paper from his pocket, and slapped it down in front of her.
An application for divorce.
He said, “Yunshu, let’s get divorced. We have no children. Go back to your maiden home, and from now on, we will go our separate ways.”
Ji Yunshu dreamed that she pointed at that woman and asked, “Who is she?”
He Jianjun remained silent, but that woman spoke first, her voice fine and soft. “Sister, I am Meng Li.”
Meng Li.
This name stabbed into Ji Yunshu’s ears like a thorn.
Meng Li said, “Sister, you probably don’t know, but you are not the daughter of the Ji family—I am. Back then, we were swapped by mistake at the hospital. You belong to the Meng family; you are the daughter of capitalists. The Ji family raised you for twenty-two years, and now everything should be returned to me.”
Ji Yunshu stood there frozen, unable to utter a single word.
She could not remember the subsequent events very clearly. She only remembered making a trip back to the compound, where the young soldier on guard duty looked at her with strange eyes.
It was during the height of the tumultuous campaign era, when political status mattered more than anything else. Before Ji Yunshu even reached home, she heard people whispering behind her back—”That’s her, the capitalists’ daughter, taking up the place of the Ji family’s real daughter for nothing.” “Officer He divorced her, and the Ji family’s real daughter is already pregnant with a big fat boy. I heard their life is going wonderfully.”
Ji Yunshu wanted to go home and have her parents stand up for her. Her mother—no, actually her adoptive mother, He Qiuxia—stood at the doorway, her eyes rimmed with red, wanting to say something yet holding back. Her father—actually her adoptive father, Ji Haiguo—turned his back to her, not uttering a word.
Ji Yunshu wanted to ask her parents if all of this was true, but in the next instant, the scene shifted. She saw the members of the Meng family, who had been sent down to the countryside, clad in rags. Before Ji Yunshu could figure out what “being sent down” and “the campaign” actually meant, she was suddenly pushed aside hard by the Meng family’s mother, falling to the ground. “I don’t have a daughter like you! Get out of here right now!”
The pain was so real. She had become a jinx detested by both the Ji family and the Meng family. At the same time, a crowd of people wearing red armbands suddenly rushed out, dragging her forcibly, and she did not know where they were taking her.
Viscous, thick darkness gradually swallowed Ji Yunshu’s vision, while clamors of “She’s that capitalists’ daughter from the Meng family!” and “Down with the capitalists!” resounded in her ears…
Afterward, she dreamed that her lamp had run out of oil, and she died a miserable death.
“I am not! I am not a capitalist’s daughter!” Before dying, Ji Yunshu was still arguing in anguish.
In the next moment, she jolted awake.
Lying on the bed, she stared at the ceiling, unable to snap out of it for a long time. Tears trickled down the corners of her eyes, flowing into her ears, itching, yet she did not have an ounce of strength to wipe them away.
“Yunshu?”
Footsteps sounded from outside. The door was tapped lightly twice, then pushed open. He Qiuxia walked in holding an enamel mug. Seeing her face, she gasped, set the mug down on the bedside table, and hurriedly sat by the bed.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He Qiuxia reached out to wipe her tears, her movements light and swift. “I heard you shouting just now. What happened? Did you have a nightmare?”
Ji Yunshu wrapped her arms tightly around her waist, burying her face in her bosom, her voice muffled: “Mom—”
“Oh, my darling, what did you dream about?” He Qiuxia held her, patting her back with one hand. “Don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid. Mom is right here.”
Ji Yunshu did not speak, just holding her tightly.
Seeing that she was unwilling to speak, He Qiuxia stopped asking. She simply held Ji Yunshu gently, patting her back rhythmically stroke by stroke. The cicadas outside the window chirped irksomely; she pressed Ji Yunshu’s head a little deeper into her bosom, as if trying to shield her from those annoying sounds.
Only after a good while did Ji Yunshu open her mouth, sounding exceptionally aggrieved: “Mom, I dreamed that I wasn’t born to you.”
The hand He Qiuxia was using to pat her back paused for a moment.
She lowered her head, looking at the daughter in her arms, reaching out to stroke the loose hairs on her forehead. “How old are you already, still acting like a baby over a dream?”
“It’s true.” Ji Yunshu raised her head, her eyes red, the tip of her nose red as well. “In the dream, I was swapped with someone else. I was the daughter of capitalists. Your real biological daughter was named Meng Li, and she came back and drove me away. I also dreamed that I married He Jianjun, but he treated me badly, and everyone in the compound laughed at me.”
He Qiuxia was taken aback, the smile on her face stiffening slightly. “What nonsense are you talking about?”
“I’m just asking, what if?” Ji Yunshu held her waist without letting go. “Mom, if I really wasn’t born to you, would you still love me?”
“No,” He Qiuxia said with a stern face. “If I didn’t love you, would I make you egg water to drink every morning? If I didn’t love you, would I save up fabric coupons wanting to make you new clothes? Hurry up and get out of bed. Autumn will be here in another month; I’ve made you new clothes, try them on in a bit.”
Ji Yunshu refused to comply, shaking her: “Tell me, tell me.”
Having no choice under her shaking, He Qiuxia reached out and pinched her face gently: “I love you, I love you, alright? I’ve raised you for eighteen years; even if you were picked up, you’d still be my own. Hurry up and get up to drink the egg water; it will get cold if left for too long.”
Only then was Ji Yunshu satisfied. “Mom, feed me.”
“How old are you that you still need to be fed?”
“I just want to!” Ji Yunshu muttered. “No matter how old I am, I’m still Mom’s daughter.”
He Qiuxia laughed, picked up the mug, scooped a spoonful with the spoon, blew on it, and brought it to her mouth.
Ji Yunshu gave her mouth a quick rinse, opened her mouth to drink it, and then said, “Mom, I don’t want to get up right now.”
“If you don’t want to get up, then don’t. No one is chasing you out anyway; trying on the clothes in a bit is fine too.” He Qiuxia fed her another spoon. “If you haven’t slept enough, keep lying down. Mom will make you dumplings for lunch.”
Ji Yunshu’s eyes lit up: “Really?”
“Really, your favorite chive and egg filling, with plenty of eggs.”
Ji Yunshu leaned back into her bosom contentedly, taking sip after sip of the egg water.
Just then, the door was pushed open. Ji Yunting walked in wearing a undershirt. Seeing this scene, he clicked his tongue: “Sleeping until the sun is high in the sky again, and Mom is even making egg water for you. Where was this kind of treatment when I was small?”
Ji Yunshu poked her head out from He Qiuxia’s arms, sticking out her tongue triumphantly: “Are you jealous?”
“Jealous my foot.” Ji Yunting walked over to the bedside, pulled something out from his pocket, and tossed it over. Ji Yunshu reached out to catch it; it was a box of White Rabbit Cream Candies.
“Brother, where did you get this?” Ji Yunshu unwrapped one and popped it into her own mouth, then unwrapped another to feed to He Qiuxia.
“A comrade-in-arms brought it back when visiting family. I don’t eat sweet stuff, so it’s all yours,” Ji Yunting said, reaching out to rub her head. “Didn’t sleep well last night? Your eyes are swollen like peaches.”
Ji Yunshu buried her face back into He Qiuxia’s bosom, saying nothing.
He Qiuxia spoke up for her: “She had a nightmare and got frightened.”
“How old are you to still be having nightmares.” Ji Yunting sat down by the bedside, reaching out to poke her arm. “What dream did you have?”
Ji Yunshu said in a muffled voice, “I dreamed I wasn’t born to Mom and was driven away by someone.”
Ji Yunting could not hold back a loud laugh: “That dream of yours is quite novel. Rest assured, even if you were picked up, you’re still my sister. Whoever dares to drive you away, I’ll beat him up.”
Ji Yunshu raised her head: “Really?”
“If you don’t believe me, don’t eat the candy I gave you.” Ji Yunting rolled his eyes and made a move to snatch the candy box back, only letting go when he saw Ji Yunshu guarding the candy like a hen protecting her chicks. “Hurry up and get out of bed, stop slacking. By the way, Pei Yufeng is back.”
Ji Yunshu blinked: “Brother Yufeng?”
“Yeah, arrived last night; I went to the station to pick him up,” Ji Yunting said. “He’s something else; after being baked on that island for nearly ten years, he looks completely fine. How come I turned dark after being baked for just one year as a pilot?”
Ji Yunshu snorted: “How could you compare with Brother Yufeng?”
“Hey, you girl whose elbow turns outward, why don’t you go be Pei Yufeng’s sister instead? That way he wouldn’t have to constantly worry about you while away.” Ji Yunting made a motion as if to knock her forehead. “He said he brought you some things and asked you to go find him to pick them up when you’re free.”
Ji Yunshu gave a passive “Oh.”
Looking at her lazy demeanor, Ji Yunting stood up: “What, don’t want to go? Then I might as well fetch the stuff back for you so you don’t have to make the trip. Though, it’s not easy for a certain someone to come back once; if you don’t go see him, who knows when the next time will be.”
“Who said I don’t want to go.” Ji Yunshu glared at him. “I haven’t even washed my face yet.”
“Hey, when you went to the station to pick me up, you weren’t this attentive—”
Before Ji Yunting could finish his sentence, he was helplessly interrupted by He Qiuxia. “Alright, Yunting, stop squabbling with your sister. Yunshu wants to eat dumplings today, so come wrap them with me in a bit.”
“Fine, got it. Let this little lazy ghost stay lying down then.” Ji Yunting said as he walked out, turning his head back at the doorway. “Yunshu, Pei Yufeng did ask about you, asking how you’ve been lately and whether anyone has been bullying you.”
Ji Yunshu talked back to him: “Besides you, who would dare to bully me? It’s you who bullies me every single day!”
“Go eat your candy!” Ji Yunting did not want to bother with her anymore and simply went to roll out the dumpling wrappers.
He Qiuxia smiled and patted her: “Alright, alright. Once you’ve laid down enough, get up and move around; don’t actually sleep the entire day.”
Ji Yunshu gave an “Mm.”
Right at that moment, a rush of hurried footsteps suddenly came from the yard. Someone shouted a report at the door, saying they were looking for the Commander’s wife.
He Qiuxia set down the mug and patted Ji Yunshu: “Mom will go outside and check.”
She walked to the door just as Ji Yunting pulled it open. Ji Yunshu also sat up from the bed, craning her neck to look outside.
Standing in the yard was a young guard duty soldier, appearing seventeen or eighteen years old, drenched in sweat from running. Seeing He Qiuxia, he quickly stood at attention and saluted: “Report, Commander’s wife!”
He Qiuxia asked, “What happened?”
Panting for breath, the young soldier said, “A female comrade came to the guard post saying she wants to see Chief Ji. She said… she said her name is Meng Li, and that she is Chief Ji’s biological daughter.”