Ji Yunshu left the house stiffly, her arms and legs moving almost mechanically as she walked toward the Pei family’s home.
Ji Haiguo and Pei Yufeng’s father had been comrades-in-arms for over thirty years, and after the liberation, the two families conveniently moved in together as neighbors. It took Ji Yunshu only a few steps to reach the courtyard gate of the Pei family.
In the military compound, only cadres at or above the division commander level could live in small courtyards. The courtyard was not overly large, containing only a two-story small building and a single-story bungalow used as a kitchen.
The cadres and family members in the compound were all accustomed to living frugally. Almost every household cultivated a plot of land in their courtyard to grow vegetables and fruits, with each family planting different crops to trade with one another. Ji Yunshu’s family grew grapes, as grapes were her favorite fruit, whereas the Pei family grew baby bok choy in their courtyard. After Pei Yufeng’s father passed away, his maternal grandmother was the only one left at home. She was already over seventy years old and in frail health, usually spending her time growing some light, easy-to-raise vegetables to pass the days.
It was mid-day, and the weather was sweltering. The courtyard gate of the Pei home was closed, and there was no sound from within. Ji Yunshu stood there, raising her hand to knock, but then lowered it again.
She didn’t know why she had come here. Pei Yufeng had just returned, and there were bound to be plenty of matters to attend to at home. Besides, in such hot weather, Grandma liked to lie on a bamboo mat to beat the heat and was likely taking a afternoon nap at this hour; what was she doing barging in right now? Yet Ji Yunshu did not want to go back either, for going back meant facing Meng Li’s face and He Qiuxia’s conflicted expression.
She did not want to make things difficult for He Qiuxia either.
Standing at the doorway, Ji Yunshu hesitated, wavering between knocking and leaving. Back and forth she vacillated, until the sun made the back of her head burn hot.
Just as Ji Yunshu made up her mind to knock and enter, the door was suddenly pulled open from the inside.
Ji Yunshu startled, looking up to meet a pair of familiar, handsome eyes.
Pei Yufeng had not been home for two years, and Ji Yunshu had almost forgotten when he last returned. As two years flew by, Pei Yufeng looked even better than she remembered. Fine, slightly damp black short hair framed his clean and smooth facial contours, and the muscles on his upper body were visibly firm and lean. He seemed to have just taken a shower, with remaining water droplets clinging to his shoulders exposed outside his undershirt.
Pei Yufeng stood at the doorway holding an empty basin, looking as though he was about to bring in the laundry drying in the courtyard. Ji Yunshu had been so lost in thought just now that she hadn’t noticed him coming out of the house. Seeing him alive and well before her once again—rather than that final, eternal parting in her dream—Ji Yunshu was momentarily rendered speechless.
“Xiao Shu?” Noticing Ji Yunshu’s absentmindedness, Pei Yufeng waved his hand in front of her eyes. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you coming in?”
Ji Yunshu opened her mouth, wanting to say nothing was wrong, but felt the words would sound too fake. Lowering her head, her voice sounded somewhat downcast: “Brother Pei, I… I came to see Grandma.”
Pei Yufeng glanced at her, asked no further questions, and stepped aside: “Come on in. Grandma was just talking about you.”
Ji Yunshu followed him inside.
The small buildings in the row of courtyards all shared the same layout, with a living room and a bedroom on the lower level, and two bedrooms upstairs. Although Grandma was the only one home most of the time, the house was always kept spotlessly clean.
Grandma had planted a clump of garden balsam in a earthenware basin at the doorstep, which was in vibrant bloom with bright red and pink flowers. Two rattan chairs were set in the living room, one empty, while Grandma lay half-reclined on the other, gently waving a cattail leaf fan with her eyes closed to rest her mind.
Grandma’s hair was completely white, yet still combed impeccably neat. She wore her favorite light-blue cloth shirt, which had been washed until faded. Hearing the commotion, she raised her head, and upon seeing Ji Yunshu, her eyes lit up.
“Oh, Yunshu is here?” Grandma smiled so widely that all the wrinkles on her face smoothed out. “Come over, come over quickly, let Grandma have a look at you.”
Ji Yunshu walked over, squatting beside the rattan chair and looking up at her: “Grandma, I came to visit you. It’s so hot this summer, how about I fan you for a bit?”
“Yunshu is so filial! Grandma isn’t hot, let Grandma fan you instead.” The old lady reached out to touch her face, motioning for Ji Yunshu to sit in the rattan chair next to her. “You’ve grown a bit thin. Is it because you have no appetite in this heat? Is your mother not making tasty food for you?”
“Grandma!” Ji Yunshu stomped her foot and acted spoiled with an exclamation, “I just came by the day before yesterday! How could I have lost weight so fast? Mom even made me poached egg water this morning!”
“Well, that’s more like it.” Grandma waved the cattail fan toward her again, continuing to fan her. “Yufeng just came back from the island and brought back a lot of seafood. Take some back with you later so your mom can taste it too.”
Ji Yunshu gave an “Mhm.”
The old lady looked at her; though her eyes were a bit cloudy, her sight of people was very sharp. After observing for a few seconds, she suddenly asked, “Silly girl, do you have something on your mind?”
Ji Yunshu froze for a moment, letting out a soft sigh, unsure whether she should tell Grandma.
In her dream, many people treated her well simply because she was Ji Haiguo’s daughter, a good child with a flawless background from a high-ranking officer’s family. Once she and Meng Li were swapped back, those who had once praised her to the skies treated her like a jinx, desperate to stay as far away from her as possible.
However, that dream had contained neither Grandma nor Pei Yufeng, because after Pei Yufeng tragically sacrificed his life, Grandma had been unable to bear the blow and passed away soon after…
*Ptui, ptui, ptui! What am I thinking! Isn’t Brother Pei standing right here safe and sound?*
Ji Yunshu desperately wanted to pinch her thigh hard. How could she think of such… terrible things? She needed to learn a lesson. But fearing the pain, she decided to let it go and just gave herself a light pinch instead.
While Ji Yunshu was still dazed, the old lady gently patted her hand. “You’ve never been good at hiding things since you were little; whenever you’re unhappy, the corners of your mouth turn down. What’s wrong? Tell Grandma.”
Ji Yunshu felt a souring in her nose and almost couldn’t hold back. Lowering her head, she stared at her toes for a moment before saying, “Grandma, if I weren’t the Ji family’s biological daughter, would you still be this good to me?”
The old lady hadn’t expected Ji Yunshu to say such a thing. She instinctively glanced at Pei Yufeng, then quickly wrapped her arm around Ji Yunshu’s shoulders: “What’s wrong, child? Has someone been gossiping in front of you? Grandma likes you not because you’re the Ji family’s daughter. A filial and pretty girl like you—no matter whose daughter you are, Grandma will treat you just as well!”
Having said that, as if feeling her words weren’t resolute enough, the old lady insisted on pulling Pei Yufeng into it: “Ah Feng, isn’t that right? No matter whose daughter Xiao Shu is, you have to treat her just as well.”
Standing nearby, Pei Yufeng caught Grandma’s gaze and gave a light nod: “I will.”
Only then was the old lady satisfied, patting Ji Yunshu’s hand: “Did your father make our little Shu unhappy again? Sit with Grandma for a while and have your Brother Pei wash some fruit for you. In a few days when I see your father, I’ll definitely give him a piece of my mind. He shouldn’t always speak ill of you! Our Xiao Shu is Grandma’s favorite girl; if Ji Haiguo doesn’t want her, Grandma would love nothing more than to bring her home and raise her as my own granddaughter!”
Ji Yunshu’s face flushed red at Grandma’s words. No matter what she did, Grandma supported her a thousand, ten thousand percent, and precisely because of this, she particularly loved running over to the Pei house.
During the days when Pei Yufeng served in the military on the island, it was Ji Yunshu who went next door every few days to keep Grandma company. Grandma never let Ji Yunshu do any chores, always preparing delicious food and drinks herself to serve her. At home, Ji Yunshu had He Qiuxia to dote on her, and outside, she had Grandma to shield her. The greatest hardship Ji Yunshu had ever endured in her life was that dream from last night.
The nightmare that had felt as real as personal experience finally dissolved completely the moment she was held in Grandma’s arms. Leaning against Grandma’s shoulder and listening to her hum a little tune, Ji Yunshu’s anxious and uneasy mood finally settled down somewhat.
Pei Yufeng turned and went to the kitchen, emerging shortly after with an enamel basin containing a large portion of washed plums. The purplish-red plums were pleasantly sweet and sour, just the taste Ji Yunshu liked best. He set the basin on the coffee table in front of Ji Yunshu, fetched a chair, and sat down.
Afterward, Pei Yufeng picked up a clean handkerchief to wipe the water droplets off the plums one by one, cut each plum in half with a small knife to remove the pit inside, sliced them into small pieces, and handed them to Ji Yunshu.
Ji Yunshu loved eating plums, but she disliked biting into them whole, insisting on eating them only after someone pitted them clean.
Every time Ji Haiguo saw Ji Yunshu being so “picky over nothing,” he would get furious. But there was nothing he could do about it, for who could blame her when everyone in the family was eager to spoil her? Even without He Qiuxia, there was Pei Yufeng’s grandmother and others. Having no status to speak of at home, he could only glare with puffed-out cheeks and turn a blind eye.
Ji Yunshu naturally took the plum flesh and popped it into her mouth. Plums at this time of year were juicy, and after being soaked in well water, they were delightfully cool. Biting into them felt as though her entire being was refreshed by the fresh, sweet juice, and she ate several pieces in a row.
Halfway through eating, she remembered Grandma and Pei Yufeng. Blushing, she took the initiative to pick up a few pieces and hand them over, encouraging them both to eat more too.
The two had long grown accustomed to Ji Yunshu’s ways. The grandmother and grandson exchanged a smile; the old lady shook her head, saying she wouldn’t eat, and resumed waving her cattail fan, chatting with Ji Yunshu as she fanned. Meanwhile, Pei Yufeng took the plum piece from Ji Yunshu’s hand and popped it straight into his mouth.
Ji Yunshu failed to notice that after Pei Yufeng’s fingertips inadvertently brushed against hers, his eyelashes trembled slightly, and the veins on the back of his other hand holding the knife stood out much more visibly than before.
Ji Yunshu was still listening attentively to Grandma chatter about everyday matters—talking about how well the garden balsam at home was blooming and how she would dye her nails later; how another batch of baby bok choy was about to ripen, and how she’d tell her mother He Qiuxia to come pick some; and how Pei Yufeng was already a battalion-level cadre on the island, having been unable to return last year because his previous battalion commander died in the line of duty, leaving a lot of matters to handle…
Listening to all this, Ji Yunshu admired Grandma and Pei Yufeng even more.
Pei Yufeng’s mother had been captured and persecuted by enemy spies when he was very young, heroically giving her life to protect more comrades. Later, his father gloriously sacrificed his life on the battlefield of the War to Resist US Aggression and Aid Korea. Pei Yufeng had become an orphan at a young age, a martyr’s child, which was why Ji Yunshu had always felt deeply for and respected this big brother.
Pei Yufeng’s father had also lost his parents at an early age, leaving Grandma as his only living relative among the older generation. Grandma had been strong and optimistic her entire life, yet the blow of outliving her children had been far too heavy for her. Though she had pulled through both times, Ji Yunshu could hardly bear to imagine how heartbroken Grandma would be if the events in her dream came true and she received such news…
At the thought of this, Ji Yunshu’s heart grew troubled once more. She didn’t know if her father had returned, what the situation at home was like now, or whether Meng Li and her mother had truly recognized each other, or…
She couldn’t sit still any longer.
“Grandma,” Ji Yunshu stood up. “I’m going back now. Something came up at home, and my dad should be home by now. In the future, no matter whose daughter I am, I’ll still come over often to keep you company!”
The old lady nodded, patting Ji Yunshu’s arm: “You’re still young, just let the adults handle those matters. Rest your mind, Grandma will definitely protect you. Pei Yufeng, see Sister Xiao Shu out.”
Pei Yufeng had already turned to go inside, emerging shortly after carrying a canvas bag much larger than a basketball, bulging full.
“Brought from the island.” As the two walked out of the house into the courtyard, Pei Yufeng handed the bag to her. “Last time I heard you say you liked eating the dried red fish from the island, so I packed three bags for you this time. Take them back and enjoy them slowly. There are also some dried shrimp and scallops; take them back and have Aunt He make soup for you. Plus a few boxes of Soviet chocolate—I met a Soviet comrade while on a mission previously, and thinking you’d like them, I asked him to mail a few boxes for you to try.”
“Thank you, Brother Pei!” Ji Yunshu took it, almost failing to hold up the heavy bag.
Realizing his oversight, Pei Yufeng quickly lifted the bag back up: “Let’s go, I’ll walk you to your doorstep.”
Ji Yunshu looked down at the canvas bag in Pei Yufeng’s hands, suddenly feeling a strong sting in her nose. Every time Pei Yufeng returned, he brought her things—shells, conchs, dried fish, fruits—whatever he could bring. She had never asked him why, as if it were a matter of course.
Yet now she suddenly felt it was not a matter of course.
She looked up at him. He stood straight, his expression as tough and stern as ever, yet his eyes looked at her quietly, as if he were willing to do anything as long as she asked.
Ji Yunshu’s tears fell instantly.
Even she hadn’t expected it. She reached out to wipe them, but the more she wiped, the more tears flowed.
Pei Yufeng hadn’t expected Ji Yunshu to be so heartbroken at all. Repeatedly reflecting on whether he had said something wrong just now, his entire body froze there. Raising his hand, he wanted to wipe her tears, but feeling it inappropriate halfway through, he finally stopped, asking her in flustered haste: “Do you not like eating them anymore? Is it the chocolate you don’t like, or the seafood? I’ll bring back something else next time…”
He clenched his fists, holding his hands tight at his sides, his voice genuinely panicked: “Don’t cry. What’s wrong? What happened?”
Ji Yunshu shook her head, so choked with tears she couldn’t speak.
“Wait for me a moment.” Pei Yufeng stood flustered for just a moment before immediately turning to fetch a clean towel from the house and handing it to her.
“Wipe your face,” Pei Yufeng said, his voice kept very low, seemingly taking careful care of Ji Yunshu’s feelings as well.
Taking the towel, Ji Yunshu pressed it against her face, sobbing quietly for a while before bringing her tears to a halt.
Lowering the towel, her eyes and nose were both red. Looking at Pei Yufeng’s tense expression, she suddenly found it a bit funny.
“It’s nothing, Brother Pei.” Ji Yunshu sniffled. “I just think you’re too good.”
*A person as good as you shouldn’t suddenly sacrifice your life at such a young age. You clearly have such a bright future ahead…*
Pei Yufeng was momentarily dazed.
He opened his mouth as if to say something, but in the end said nothing, quietly staying by Ji Yunshu’s side. Taking back the used towel from her hand, he walked with her all the way back to the Ji family’s small courtyard.
“Go on inside.” Upon reaching the entrance of the Ji family’s courtyard, Pei Yufeng handed the canvas bag back to Ji Yunshu. “It’s hot, don’t stay outside too long.”
Ji Yunshu nodded, carrying the bag as she walked inside.
When she reached the door, she looked back.
Pei Yufeng was still standing outside the courtyard, the sunlight casting his shadow long on the ground. He waved his hand to her, as if saying, “Don’t worry, I’m here.”