There is no such thing as the perfect marriage; even the most compatible couples have disagreements. Some might even say fighting is the key to a great marriage; one must challenge the person they live with. Otherwise, that hostility will eventually explode.
What better way to prove how strong your bond is than to have it tested over and over again? To constantly belittle your lover, showing them that you truly care?
…
Sarcasm aside, what happens when you put a Princess famous for instability alongside a barbarian from the north? Their marriage was never going to remain pure for long…
“Bastard! Are your hands made of jelly, Frost? What must I do?”
Thud! Another morning where the sun continues to rise from the east, and another bushel of arrows I’ve managed to blunt. At this point, it’s become pure stubbornness on my part to prove that traits can be levelled. But if it’s going to take hundreds, maybe even thousands of hours to level, what is the point…
But of course, I persist, even with the additional pain. Embroidery is always bound to provide additional cuts, so you imagine how fun it is to pull back a bow string over and over again. As long as it doesn’t bleed, I can manage the consistent agony.
Pain is just weakness leaving the body, right? Regardless, another arrow is primed and ready to fire, just as the other thirty I’ve already peppered into the target. Someday I’ll hit that bullseye, mark my words…
‘Huh? I didn’t even hold my breath for that shot.’
[Congratulations!][»][Archery has progressed to the next tier.]Whack! As if I’m granted a miracle, a shot I’m barely paying attention to hits the bullseye! Better yet, my Mind’s Eye ability provides a small notification, then opens up automatically to show what hours upon hours of training can achieve.
[MIND'S EYE][First Name: Frost][Family Name: Muntjac][Affection: 100/100][Traits] [»][Gender: Female][Class: Merchant][Age: 23][Trait Rarity] [»][⇑] [Archery] [†][Tamer] [Þ][Mind's Eye] [Þ]
Spoiler
[TIER][Legendary] [5*][Excellent] [4*][Great] [3*] [Good] [2*] [Average] [1*] [TYPE][Combat: †][Magical: ℑ][Passive: Þ] [collapse]
‘The fruits of my labour. This feels anticlimactic, no?’
I’m not sure what I was expecting, but this summarises this novel in a nutshell. Underwhelming.
Regardless, I’ve already set this morning aside for shooting, so once I’ve cleaned up the target, we’ll see how much better I’ve gotten.
‘Jeez, I really am borin—’
“Guess who?”
But before I can finally give my upgraded trait a test, a beautiful, albeit annoying, distraction sneaks a whisper into my ear.
Immediately, I shake her off. Unlike last time, I’m as cool as a cucumber to her disruptions. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice… who am I kidding? I literally saw her approaching in the corner of my eye.
“Did you think that would work again?”
“Heh, perhaps. You seem to have improved yourself in more ways than one.”
“Maybe. Ever since that incident, it’s harder to take things casually. One must always have an eye at the back of their head…”
I tried to get that snake out of my mind, and for the most part, she’s gone. However, blood is still proving to be a massive issue. It makes me wonder if Frost was somewhat squeamish.
“That reminds me, what’s the deal with that maid? The one “escorting” me. She trustworthy?”
The blonde-haired maid, Ellie Shack-something, she’s made it her personal mission to try becoming my lady-in-waiting or whatever they call it in this world. In recent days, she’s far too eager to help me around. It comes across as desperate.
“Ellie? That’s unclear for now, so don’t get close to her. You still remember what I told you?”
“Don’t trust anyone apart from Anna, yourself included. Don’t worry, I listen sometimes, Your High—”
“Frost.”
Ah, I should explain Princess Ashia’s interruption. I’ve spent a considerable amount of time inside this palace now, so much so that I want to break out of the formal habit I’ve been getting into. It must feel so impersonal to always be called Your Highness.
So I’ve asked her to cut in every time I do it. Give it a few days, and her name will end up stuck in my mind. I’m already thinking about her enough; getting used to her name should be easy. Ashia, Ashia…
“What brings you here today, Ashia? Using me as an excuse to skip work?”
“Everyone needs a pretty distraction sometimes. I’ll get burnt out if I don’t give my eyes something nice to look at.”
“So that’s all I am to you… a pretty distraction? To think the Princess could treat me so harshly!”
My words may come across as bitter, but I start giggling before I can even finish. As if we could fight over something like that.
“You’ve improved so much, my dutiful wife. It gives me an idea, if you wish to continue bettering yourself.”
“I’m all ears.”
“Spar with me.”
Before I even get the chance to respond, she reveals why her hands were hidden. She was hiding two wooden blades down the length of her spine, and now she dares to push one into my hand!?
‘Damn it, woman! Let me say no!’
Already forming a combat stance, I’d be in awe if I weren’t the one who has to fight this beast!
“Be kind, Frost. I rarely have free time, yet you wish to send me away? How cruel! Does my company mean nothing to you?”
“Now you’re trying to guilt me into this!? Nah, don’t you dare!”
This isn’t the first time she’s asked me to spar, nor will it be the last. Unlike how things usually go, this isn’t conflicting. I don’t want to get my ass kicked by someone who will make it look hot!
“Heh, we’re both dressed for the part. I promise I’ll go easy on you. Could it be you’re not man enough, Frost?”
With extreme passion and fire in those eyes, this Princess is mad! My affection for her is only growing, give me strength…
“Out of all the ways to tempt me, you attack my masculinity? Pathetic. Try harder, or I really will say no.”
Sure, I could just say no, and she’d back off, but where’s the fun in that? I did say I’d assist the Princess if she needed anything. I might as well play hard to get if it’s relating to my ass getting kicked!
“Why did I ever choose to marry someone with such willpower!? No matter, I’ll just have to tempt the inner Frost within you.”
Just taking one glance at Ashia’s growing grin… I’m afraid.
“What… do you mean?”
“Heh, I reckon a show might suffice. A seductive stretch, a simple yawn that sounds deviously suspicious. I could bend down to pick something up..."
"Or, I could pull on a loose bit of threading. I wonder how long it would take for this blouse to show far too much...”
With the Princess revealing herself to truly be evil, I have to give in. She starts to be extremely suggestive around me; I’ll never get her out of my mind!
“B-Blasted woman! Just p-promise me you’ll take it easy, alright?”
“Do you believe I have it in me to hurt you?”
“Yes actually, I do. But first, let’s discuss the rules. The face and anywhere intimate is off-limits… no excuses.”
“Heh, okay Frost.”
I’m gifted a nod in response, but it seems hesitant in a way. If she were to “accidentally” hit my face or my breasts, then I’ll “accidentally” show her how true gender equality works. Once being a man doesn't change anything, this is how true preachers of equality should act...
“Let’s get this shit over with..."
Reluctantly, I place my bow onto a rack, then take a proper grip of the wooden sword. My life could very well depend on this shortly…
Giving me a slight hand movement to come hither, we begin! Allowed the first strike, I drive myself forward, all the while putting all my energy into the attack…
Whack! Wood clatters against wood, a sound I’m extremely familiar with as Anna continues to destroy her cane. Yet, the feeling makes my body want to recall. No matter, we go again…
“Try to move with the blade, not against it. Swing with your entire body, arms and hips included.”
She’s giving off advice even as I’m mid swing through another sideswipe. However, this time she does not need to block as her dodge has put her out of range.
Next attack, I take her advice on board and allow myself to become one with the sword. Or at least, move with it rather than against it…
Clash! Another block, and another wave of vibration that makes my entire body tense up.
“Not too bad, you’ve got natural technique. But something is missing. You seem uncomfortable swiping like that. Try approaching from a different way.”
For the next round, I start slow, gradually circling her like a shark searching for any weakness I can get at. But of course, she might as well be an impenetrable fortress. The only way I’ll have any chance is by using brute force…
Bash! Clatter! Wham! Splinters fly in every direction as I try multiple ways of swinging the sword, all are met with blocks or dodges, yet there is one that stands out greatly. Holding the sword up to the sun, then using gravity to diagonally guide it down, it may open me up, but this feels somewhat natural.
If it wasn’t for her immaculate ability, I may have broken her shoulder there.
“Heh, you really are a natural—”
“You going to just stand there? Attack me back!”
Cutting her off, I’m getting frustrated. I fully went into this expecting my ass to be handed to me on a plate, yet she’s acting like a training dummy.
The very next attack, the Princess responds to my growing confidence. My blade aims for her shoulder, she uses my momentum to push me and the sword sideways, then she swipes for my hip…
But this counter feels extremely predictable. So much so, I’m able to point my sword downwards to block it just in the nick of time.
‘Fuck! I can feel that in my toes!’
The impact is so great, my entire skeleton rattles, and my hands go numb from the impact. At least the blade managed to take most of the weight off…
“Heh, you’re even strong enough to keep a firm grip. Impressive "wrist action", Frost!”
‘Why is she saying it like that!? Wrist action? But Frost isn’t a fighter, nor is she straight—’
That counter is met immediately with another attack; this one just happens to be mental as well as physical.
My leg is hit, and I’m swiped off my feet as she uses my split second of distraction against me.
‘Did she seriously have to catch me like that!? We’re here to fight, not flirt!’
I’d have landed hard on my rump, yet she manages to slow my descent by effortlessly catching me. I still end up on the ground, but that felt like a joke considering how easily she did that. I doubt I’m seeing one per cent of what this Princess is capable of.
“Y-You know what you did there.”
“Heh, you spend too much time distancing yourself from Frost. Just embrace the chaos. It’ll be easier for you.”
‘That’s easy for her to say, she doesn’t have a complete degenerate inside of her!’
“Any attacker will find it easy if you get distracted like that.”
“I could say the same about you!”
Immediately, it’s my time to respond to her lecture. I never asked for a clean fight, so while I’m down here, I give the Princess a good kicking!
And I catch her completely off guard. So much so, she falls to the ground as well! Sure, that was dirty as hell, but this woman is insane! I made sure to catch her at least, I’m not completely heartless.
It takes a moment for the adrenaline to die down, but once it does, I realise the huge error I’ve made.
“Nice work, Frost! Although…"
"If you wanted me on your lap, you could've asked nicely.”
…
“Y-You know I h-hate you, right?
“Heh, is that the word you use for love? Then I’ll happily embrace your hate.”
‘Yup, completely insane. Get off me, already!’
With a chuckling Princess now stuck on my lap, I’d join in if she weren’t still on me! This is far too stimulating!
Thankfully, she moves before I really decide to kick her off, then gracefully helps me back to my feet.
‘Today, she’s sat on me, and we’ve touched hands. I don’t think I’m going to survive this…’
But before I can regain my composure, she’s retrieving both our weapons and wants to continue. I can’t fight like this!
“Let’s continue, but first I must know something. What is your weapon of choice?”
“Eh? Am I supposed to have a preference? This is the first time I’ve ever used a weapon.”
There might’ve been a time I swung one of those sabres made from light back on Earth, I’m sure that was a toy from a sci-fi film, though. Any experience in combat, this is all from Frost.
“It seems there is a great deal of overlap. The way you— no, the original Frost. You share her fighting experience, but I can tell it’s not swordplay.”
“How can you tell?”
“The way you strike, it’s less of a fight but more of an execution. All strength is put into the swing, yet defence is purposely neglected. Heh, it’s definitely a unique way of fighting.”
We’ve got a bit of a problem here. If Frost has already been locked into a DPS build, then I have no chance of bettering my defence, right? Especially when neither of us know what weapon she used.
This world shares a similar history to Earth when it comes to melee weaponry, except all that history is spliced together. We have daggers, swords, claymores, axes, maces, clubs, hammers, katanas, spears, polearms. If it was used to kill someone, it exists somewhere in this world.
The same thing applies to ranged weaponry, although gunpowder doesn’t exist in this novel. Heck, even this kingdom uses equipment designed for torture. Probably the best to avoid that considering Frost’s preference for the sort used in public shaming…
I’m pretty sure both of us are vastly overthinking this though.
“She obviously used an axe, right? Don’t all barbarians from the north use axes?”
“And yet you’re extremely proficient with a bow. Not all of you are walking stereotypes, Frost. But you might be onto something…”
…
…
…
And thus, this is how our day is spent, locked together in a lover’s spat that only ends when food, drink and bathroom breaks are needed.
Swing! Slash! Stab! My footwork rapidly improves in her presence, and by the end of the day, she’s starting to counter me more often. But my fear was right, Frost has no experience in defending.
Even so, I can at least hold my own, but it’s obvious the Princess fights against me like I’m a child. Her movements are quicker, more precise, hit with more strength, hold more experience. There isn’t a single area I can best her in. If she wasn’t allowing me to win, I’d never score a hit.
Oh, and no, no other “incidents” occurred. That was definitely the highlight of today; training arcs are meant to be boring. Or is it because I make things boring?
Regardless, by the end of the day, both of us are exhausted and smell like we haven’t bathed in a week. We literally exist in a world without modern perspirant, fighting stinks. Literally!
‘There is a reason why those overpowered stories gloss over years' worth of experience in a single chapter…’
“Are we seeing a lover’s spat!? The two of them aren’t holding back at all!”
“Look at Her Highness go! She really is giving the foreigner a hiding, huh.”
“Hey, you can’t say that! You know the rules, she’ll cut out your tongue if you insult the Madam!”
In a palace as big as this, the courtyard is no different. There are many areas the maids have access to. This area in particular, is used for drying clothes. Now on their break, they can’t help but spend the time watching the fighting going down.
“I d-didn’t mean it as an i-insult! It’s just that’s what everyone calls her outside the palace.”
“It doesn’t matter, you know how scary Her Highness can be! Every time she looks at me, I fear she’ll hit me! Or way worse!”
“I know, right!? If she’s capable of fighting the Madam, where does this leave us!?”
Talk like this is extremely common among the new maids inside the palace. However, what isn’t common is for one of the three to hold her tongue.
“Erm… guys? Maybe you two should turn around.”
Dun dun! Wheeling over a cart full of wet clothes, another maid appears from behind, yet this one is a terrifying as the Princess herself.
“H-Headmistress A-Anna!? We weren’t gossiping, honest!”
“I never said you were. But if you must natter like this, at least look at it correctly. Her Highness and Madam Frost are currently fighting a battle of love.”
“E-Eek? Love?”
“Are you sure this is love, Headmistress?”
“Uh huh. People who love each other don’t try and kill each other like this!”
Of course, all three maids wouldn’t have a clue what the Headmistress is talking about. Love? How can this be love? Even as they chatter, the Madam continues to put all her effort into hitting the Princess. They’ve already broken two swords; how could this be defined as love!?
“Do none of you see it? The way Her Highness refuses to allow Madam Frost to be scratched. While Madam Frost may be worked up, every swing is backed by reluctance. This isn’t a fight at all.”
All three maids look at their Mistress with confusion; none of them can see what she sees.
“I never knew you had such an interest in combat, Headmistress Anna.”
“I don’t. It’s just obvious to me what this is. When you see two birds call out for the other with the intent of mating, this is the human equivalent of that. Those two will never be able to hurt each other…”
[Moody]
Spoiler
“Move it! You can sulk all you want; we’ll continue this later. But first, we’re sorting this out!”
Right now, I’m feeling an unhealthy mixture of anger and guilt, both of which are caused by Princess Ashia. We came THIS close to arguing, and that’s because her sense of reality is warped.
You see, she, in her infinite wisdom, caught me off guard and brushed my arm. That is the precursor to the problem. Sure, she did hit me, but her strength held it back so much, a splinter would hurt more. It was next to painless!
But since she felt so guilty, when we returned to fighting, she decided to fake a block. What this means is my sword snapped in two against her back!
I’m now dragging her sorry hide to Anna to sort out any bruises and smother them all in ointment. I get that the Princess believes in reciprocal justice, but this is ridiculous!
“Heh, and here I thought you wanted to enact the ancient ritual of wife beating.”
“Ashia, I’m being serious. Do you honestly believe what you did justifies me hitting you like that?”
“…”
She can’t respond because she knows I won’t like the answer.
‘Even in our situation, she just doesn’t value herself. I guess I’ll have to make up for the deficit…’
[collapse]