As usual, the Princess’s antics were met with harsh resistance, and for the rest of spring, she would only cause more anger. Murmurs of discontent had slowly been growing, especially considering how the two Amsterdam boys were treated. Those who held power needed to vent their frustrations somehow; the Princess’s insanity could genuinely cause the bubble to burst.
But these meetings were planned around the annual hunting event. To discuss such an important topic directly in the faces of those hosting would be akin to treason. Thus, the nobles had to wait…
Life inside the four palaces remained content… for now at least. What they didn’t know is that the insane Princess knows all of those who speak ill behind her back…
“Your M-Majesty, that was a-addressed to—”
“Leave us. It matters little if she reads it first.”
“Of course, my King. I will make my exit…”
Let the feasting commence! In the grand hall of the King’s palace sits an extremely long table filled to the brim with food that commoners could only dream of. Several chickens, an entire pig, huge portions of beef, there is far too much on the table considering only a husband and wife sit around it.
Upon the knight’s exit, the Queen goes through the note while the King sits there stuffing his face and admiring more than just her beauty. For years, he’s secretly depended on her opinion for royal politics, so much so that both of them sharing mail is common. Secrets just aren't kept between the two.
But the Queen looks somewhat confused by the letter.
“It’s… from Ashia.”
“She’s not asking for another reshuffle, is she? You know how difficult it is for a new servant to get my tea brewed correctly.”
The King receives a brief smile from the Queen, but his annoyance is backed by a greater fear. The Princess has moved maids and servants from all palaces around. Every few years, a handful of servants being moved is common, but never at the scale which the Princess has requested.
“No, but I’m unsure what the cause could be.”
“Cause? What does the note say?”
Passing over the message, it doesn’t take long for the King to understand exactly why his daughter has sent this.
The note isn’t particularly fancy or well-written. In fact, what’s written barely counts as a paragraph. But the King knows a message like this must be important.
[Don’t attend the event. If you do, Mother will make a scene.]
“*Sigh*… she’s always so distant. My darling, are you happy if we skip this year?”
“Why? Who’s attending?”
“…”
Silence itself is an answer, especially when it’s someone as predictable as the King. There’s only one person who would cause the King to shut up like this…
In response, the Queen carefully leans forward, placing both her elbows onto the table, and stares deep into her husband’s eyes with a smile that could cause a heart to stop.
“My dearest… was this your doing? You must know I’ll do anything to safeguard the future. ANYTHING.”
“B-Balderdash! Of course it’s not my bloody doing! Who do you take me for, woman!? It must be a coincidence, or someone is scheming again!”
Both King and Queen have always fought their battles differently. Archibald holds a fire capable of melting a frozen ocean, while Adelicia possesses an expression capable of turning someone to stone.
They are evenly matched, yet their love continues to thrive even after thousands of arguments.
“I’m growing weaker every day, Adelicia. I don’t have the patience to try buttering you up anymore. If I’m to do something, it will be direct…”
Knock knock…
“Enter.”
“Sup.”
Having just finished another session of etiquette, I’ve already thrown it all away just with my greeting alone. There might be a day when this training corrupts me to my very soul, so for now I’m going to be as casual as I can around Ashia.
“Greetings to you as well, Frost. You all finished with Anna today?”
“Yup. Today, I learn there’s etiquette in using the potty. A lady must never touch the seat and always cover it with paper. What a load of poppycock!”
“Poppycock?”
“Oh, it’s a replacement for swearing, that’s the best one by far. All I have to do is add poppy to my limited vocabulary to make it work.”
Some teachings are useful, like always having a handkerchief nearby and keeping a purse full of useful things. I plan on keeping weapons and tiny bottles of alcohol inside mine.
But those like drinking tea with your pinkie out, others like a lady must always avoid conversation with a stranger, and she can NEVER be alone with an unwed or married man. To get my mind off this absurdity, the Princess is required. Today is one of those days she spends tied up in her office.
Unfortunately for my curiosity, Her Highness’s study is far cleaner and more organised than I thought it would be. Sure, the other side of the room has books piled on top of each other, reaching the ceiling. But for the most part, this room is neat.
“Up to anything interesting today?”
“Not really. You’re welcome to stay, Frost. But I’ve got far too much to do.”
“Need help with anything?”
A lot of what I can see on the desk involves numbers, a similar job to what Frost and I are used to. We should be perfect helpers for this, right?
“That depends. How knowledgeable are you regarding the tax rates?”
“You’ll find most of what I was doing back in the guild was related to tax—”
“Shit.”
In my insistence to help, I failed to realise the scale we’re working on. From what I remember, the merchant tax is relatively simple. The more you earn, the more you pay. There is an upper limit, but it’s all percentage-based.
But when the Princess opens a book detailing the records for the ENTIRE kingdom, I lose my composure. In addition to this, it appears EVERY job has a different way of taxing.
“Don’t you have people that do this for you?”
“I do, but this is the final line of defence. If a mistake is made here, it affects the entire kingdom.”
‘Ah, I get it. Power corrupts everything, so if there’s fraud to be found, it’ll be hidden within these numbers.’
“Take a look at this…”
Next, she unrolls a scroll that shows the overall income and expenditure for the kingdom in the past year. This… is problematic. The kingdom might as well be bleeding gold…
“You wouldn’t have the ability to poop diamonds, would you, Frost?”
“Unfortunately not. Etiquette hasn’t covered that part yet.”
“Heh, then people will likely starve this winter. We’re between a rock and a hard place. This kingdom cannot survive without money, but the people cannot survive without food.”
“The main problem is, we also have to spend money for what’s coming. I’m juggling the kingdom starving, recession, rebellion, or invasion. If we can get through the winter, all our problems will be solved.”
Not once have I taken the Princess to be the wasteful type with money, so anything she’s spending it on, it’s needed. She already knows the events of the novel, so she must be planning for the war. This has to be it.
It gives me an idea, though. This palace has its own treasury, and inside the huge vault sits my dowry. Considering the Kingdom’s finances are stored within the royal treasury, I’m sure they could use a loan or two.
With added interest, of course!
“You need a backer? My dowry is getting awfully lonely down there. I wouldn’t be opposed if you needed a chunk of it.”
Lost in thought, it takes a moment for the Princess to realise what I’ve just offered. But it’s okay, she always looks cute when stressed. Or cute any other moment of the day.
“What? Don’t be ridiculous, Frost. That money is yours.”
“Yeah, but I’m offering it. If we’re in such a desperate position, why keep it unused?”
It’s strange, right? This kingdom is facing bankruptcy, yet I was given one of the biggest dowries in existence. It doesn’t make sense.
But my question appears to make Ashia extremely uncomfortable.
“Because that money shouldn’t exist. Way back when King Archibald II was leader, my grandfather faced the same problem we have today.”
On the desk flooded with papers, another is added, but this time it’s the kingdom’s map which I’ve already seen once or twice before.
“This kingdom has lots of problems; this one relates to size. To the southwest, we have tiny pockets of ore in the mountains, but transporting ore and feeding those forced to mine is no longer profitable. We're not even getting into the morality side of it yet.”
“All around the kingdom, we have rivers providing fertility to the land. But when winter arrives, the water freezes up and the ground turns solid. Nothing will grow, even potatoes can’t stand the weather. Our winters can be as bad as your birthplace some years.”
“In the northern half of the country, they have vineyards, a blooming fishing industry, and vast forests full of hardy lumber. But we’re unable to transport things by ship due to the rivers not being deep enough."
“Everything in this spread out kingdom revolves around one thing. Can you guess what?”
“Gold?”
“Yes. When my grandfather ruled, the Northern Isles had a stabilised civilisation rivalling our own. For hundreds of years, they burrowed beneath the snow and traded minerals all across the continent. And we even traded with them for a time.”
“So... what do you think happened next? This kingdom got greedy and took everything for themselves.”
…
I’m astonished! Usually, I couldn’t give a toss about the north, but this angers me greatly. Is that why we northerners are so rare? Because the land we held was destroyed by this kingdom!?
“The fuck!? How have I not heard of this?”
“Because it was covered up by blood. To explain the dowry, my grandfather was too greedy and kept much for himself. When I was given it as an inheritance… the thought of using it made me sick.”
Now I understand why she offered me the money; it's blood money returning to the source. It’s sickening. I'm still keeping it for myself, just now it leaves a bitter taste.
All of this makes me question if saving this kingdom is really worth the hassle anymore. There’s no doubt about it, we are the bad guys in this novel. Why should we continue to survive causing all our neighbours to suffer?
…
Even knowing what’s happened… I’ll stick with the Princess to the bitter end. I wish to save her, no matter the cost.
But she’s far too stubborn to accept my generosity.
“Look Frost, I don’t plan to use your money. If I need it, I’ll happily grovel and kiss your feet. But for now… may I please finish this?”
“Okay dokey. You’ll never know I’m here.”
It’s obvious she’s not one for conversation, so I guess I’ll just linger around and provide a pretty face.
If only things were that easy. If I had known how distracting I could be, I never would’ve bothered her during work.
‘Hmm… what do we have here? She’s got quite the collection.’
The several bookshelves she has in sight aren’t as vast as the library, but along these shelves, there are a good number of titles I’m yet to read. I’ve made a small goal to read everything I can since my time is endless inside this palace. This will only provide more distraction.
‘Watering the Oasis… A Knight’s Tale of Chivalry. The Jungle Crusade… A Dragon’s Descent to Godhood…'
'EH!?! Hehehe...’
There are tales of fiction, tales of war, historical documents, mysteries, and many more genres. She’ll read anything, just like me. But I've found something far more interesting...
This bookshelf goes far deeper into the wall than expected. Behind the front layer, an entire second and third layer sit! Into the darkness, I’ve found something devious.
‘Hehehe, this is more like it! You naughty Princess!’
The first book I retrieve from this layer has quite the title. So much so, I'm going to say it out loud...
“The Orc and His Eleven Inch—”
“F-FROST!”
With speed rivalling an arrow itself, the Princess shoots over her desk to rid me of that book and slam it down onto her desk.
Her face is as red as her hair! Ignoring her outburst, I can’t help but search for more! To think the Princess, famous for not knowing shame, can be embarrassed like this!
The Busty Draconian Maid. The Master’s Plaything. The Devious Descent into Slavery. I’ve barely even scratched the surface, but some of these covers are filthy!
A Chaste Succubus. The Werewolf’s Chew Toy. The Vampire’s Mistress. I can’t find a non-smutty book in the dark! There’s such a huge collection of different kinds of smut, I’m not sure where you’d start!
‘She’s got her own collection of porn she’s been hiding from me!? This is so unfair! I could’ve been reading this stuff!’
The Princess continues to shy away and grow redder by the second. She is so damn cute like this! I can’t help myself!
“So… to think my lovely wife fills her study with books like this? Is this what your work consists of? Porn mixed with tax work!?”
I’ve never seen the Princess this red, and I’m savouring every moment!
But unfortunately, my love of the game can only last so long. Her redness slowly evaporates, only leaving behind a Princess up for the fight.
“You’re playing a very dangerous game here, Frost. Tread lightly.”
“Tread lightly? But my wife is so perverted! How will I ever compete with such distinguished tastes!? I’ll never be enough for you if this is what you desire!”
Again, I grab that book related to the orc’s schlong and act my heart out. This woman is only getting a taste of her own medicine!
“You’re already more than perfect enough for me, Frost.”
‘Okay, I walked right into that one. How about…’
“But Princess Ashia, someone of your position shouldn’t need such perverted distractions! It’s scandalous!”
She takes a moment, almost as if she’s choosing the perfect response.
Then, a subtle but significant smile grows, and a shiver runs down my spine.
“Heh, last warning. The ice you tread upon is cracking…”
‘She’s still so flustered, I love it!’
“What ice? My dear, imagine if this were to get out! The scandal would be massive!”
“Fine then, don’t say I didn’t warn you, “Frost”. This is your doing…”
With my final act, I realise I’ve bitten off more than I can chew when her fluster completely disappears, only leaving behind that evil smile. In my haste for teasing, I forgot just who I’m possessing.
“My palace has so many empty rooms, and you brought so little from your manor. You know what I’m thinking?”
“W-What?”
“I finally get around to bringing all my wife's possessions over here! You know, all of your stuff, including which was mysteriously locked away in the basement. You remember what items I’m talking about, right?”
…
Like Icarus, I’ve flown too close to the sun. Frost’s life as a degenerate has completely screwed me over!
“It’s only fair if I allow my wife to share in such debauchery, correct? We could even designate an entire wing to your hobby! Think about how much fun you could have!”
Now she’s full of confidence, and I’m the one who’s struggling to form a sentence!
“Y-You know a-about Frost and her t-tastes?”
“Heh, of course. If you send someone to investigate and they find a locked door, it’s in their nature to check what’s behind it, correct?”
‘The Princess had me investigated!? Actually, that’s not surprising at all. I am possessing someone else after all.’
“Picking a lock isn’t too difficult. Judging by your reaction, I suppose you and Frost share similar tastes.”
“N-No! We f-freaking don’t! W-What’s the matter w-with you!?”
I have to react strongly because Frost corrupts all! Hey, I’m not one to kink shame. As long as it’s legal and consensual, who the hell cares?
But Frost is an addict who will relapse if given the chance. Around this Princess, the person she has an unhealthy obsession for, it’s dangerous!
“How would you know you dislike it? Unless… you gave her hobby a try!? You and Frost really are alike!”
…
I managed to win a brief battle, only for this war to end in with my beheading. It turns out I can tease her, but never try to get the upper hand. That was my fatal mistake.
“C-Can you please allow me n-not to drown in this lake I’ve fallen into, Ashia? Pretty please?
“Heh, so you concede? But it’s so fun to see you turn red.”
“I could say the same...'
"By the way, I hope you know we're reading those books together someday.”
Ha! For the briefest of moments, the Princess turns red again!
“If you’d like. But I need to be serious now. The taxes are one thing, I’ve got to send a dozen letters by nightfall—"
“Oh, that reminds me. You might be interested in this.”
Now that our battle of teasing has finished, the Princess passes me an invitation, and my face immediately lights up. An invitation with the royal stamp on it, in the middle of spring. This can only be one thing…
“Is this what I think it is?”
“Yes, the real “story” is about to begin. The question is, how willing are you to get involved…”
[Numbers]
Spoiler
“The numbers… what do they mean!?”
I decided to be of some use and help. The problem? Frost and I don’t have the brain capacity for this! There are just too many numbers to track!
“Heh, everything alright, Frost?”
“My eyes, green code is raining from the sky. No, I’m not the chosen one. Please send help…”
[collapse]