“Have you heard the news? They say the Princess has completely lost the plot!”
“I have... is this really that surprising though? She spent her entire childhood faultless to a tee; all children act out at some point. She could’ve done far worse than just marrying a woman.”
“Acting out? Just marrying a woman? Lily, she forged her father’s signature to marry a criminal! They’ve been trying to cover it up, but I’ve been to that brothel myself. It’s as if the Princess is trying to spark a rebellion…”
Not a single corner of the kingdom was quiet from the Princess’s reign of madness; you couldn’t find a single newspaper without the front page covering the wedding. People wearing the comfiest silks, all the way down to the scratchiest rags, everyone knew of the affair. For once, even arrogant nobles and the common scum could find common ground.
Some claimed she had been possessed and forced to do the devil’s bidding; others say this is a sham to force her father to remove her title. A few speculated this was her descent into madness, even fewer thought this could be the forgotten tale of forbidden love.
And yet, nobody could do a thing… for now. Plans had to be made, and time would have to pass to see them in action. With just a handful of souls knowing of His Majesty’s dwindling health, chaos inside the kingdom is inevitable…
“If you’ll follow me, Madam, we’ll shortly make our way into the premises. If you have any questions, ask them now.”
“Hmm… I presume it’s a little late for a guided tour?”
“…”
And so, the Princess’s palace awaits! Having spent most the day getting dressed, being married off, then spending an awful amount of time driven around inside a carriage, I can only hope tonight grants me some peace.
But inside a place as spectacular as this, I doubt it. One of the four royal palaces, this place is considered the most moderate of the lot. I fail to see anything adorned with gold, but every sculpted pillar is a marvel of engineering, every stone is polished to an unrealistic proportion. Considering this place has multiple entrances like this, I dread to think how much tax was wasted building this place.
The palace is beautiful for sure, but one thing feels off. There is a clear absence of people around here; I’ve only spotted a handful of guards. I get that it’s late, but this feels purposely lax.
And that eerie feeling isn’t helped while being led by this maid. Slightly taller than Her Highness and me, she appears distant and cold. I’m not sure I’ll be able to woo her with my charm.
“So… have you been working long for Her Highness?”
“…”
Again, this maid ignores my attempt at small talk. I’m not asking her to like me, but this feels a little rude, no?
[MIND'S EYE][First Name: Morri][Family Name: Lumigan][Affection: -10/100][Traits] [»][Gender: Female][Class: Serving][Age: 24][Trait Rarity] [»][Cleanliness] [Þ][Spiteful] [Þ][Grouch] [Þ]
Spoiler
[TIER][Legendary] [5*][Excellent] [4*][Great] [3*] [Good] [2*] [Average] [1*] [TYPE][Combat: †][Magical: ℑ][Passive: Þ] [collapse]
‘Okay, she is just rude. At least I shouldn't find a speck of dust inside this palace…’
As predicted, the concept of dust is just a fairytale inside this palace. This entrance is gigantic!
But we’re only in here for the briefest of moments before we pass a corner and enter an equally aesthetically pleasing hall. Still refusing to face me, the maid continues to guide me along.
“Madam, you’re to follow me to the dining room. Once we arrive, Headmistress Anna will be taking care of you. She will take care of your food and get you ready for the night.”
‘Ready for the night? Oh, I’ve practically been sewn into this wedding dress; I’ll need help getting out. Silly me.’
My mind wanders for a moment, but I’m reminded that a more important task awaits when my stomach cries out for help. Due to how difficult this gown was to fit onto my northern frame, I’ve not been allowed to eat all day.
So I hurriedly follow along and quickly realise these hallways are similar to outside, that being devoid of life. No grand meeting, nor an army of maids and servants ready to serve at a moment’s notice. It almost feels haunted by the lack of life inhabiting this place.
This hallway leads to another, and then we pass one corner to go around another. Before I know it, the smell of charred meat floats its way down the hall and into my nose.
As soon as I enter this tiled and bright dining room, a grand table awaits. But as quickly as one maid appears, the other is gone in a flash.
“Madam Muntjac, I’ve prepared you a selection of food. I suggested we round up all the staff for an introduction, but Her Highness thought meat would be a more appropriate greeting.”
‘Is the Princess trying to get me to adore her? It's working.’
Beautifully presented on the table sits a platter of every meat I can imagine. Steak, fish, shrimp, chicken, pig, goat, deer, lamb, rabbit. There’s meat from animals I don’t even know!
“Please don’t feel inclined to finish it all; anything you leave will be provided to the knights for breakfast.”
I’m far too focused to even care about the fact that the knights are fed scraps around here; my mouth salivates.
“Any author who decides to kill such an angel is a moron! This is a far better introduction than anything that Saintess would’ve experienced.”
“What was that, Madam Muntjac?”
“Nothing! Your name was Anna, correct? It was you who helped me get dressed earlier, right?”
Already elbow deep into the juiciest piece of steak you can imagine, the cutlery is optional, right?
I’m kidding, I’m kidding! A fork does feel slightly weird to hold though; it’s far easier to just bite into food only using a knife. This is definitely down to Frost’s "barbarian" past in the north.
“That I did, Madam Muntjac. You and Her Highness are by far the two shining jewels of the kingdom. There isn’t a single soul deserving of your beauty.”
“*Cough cough cough*!”
This food may be sublime, but now I fight a battle with my lungs. You can’t be saying something like that so casually!
“Please… you’ve got to drop the formalities, Anna. If you can’t, at least use my first name. My family name… it’s sickening.”
I may not hold any connection to the Muntjac family, or a small deer apparently, but hearing that name constantly used makes my heart ache. I may not hold any of Frost’s memories, but I can definitely tell her father is a sore subject. That name reminds her of him.
“Very well, Madam. Eat till your heart’s content, then I’ll help you get undressed…”
[MIND'S EYE][First Name: Frost][Family Name: Muntjac][Affection: 100/100][Traits] [»][Gender: Female][Class: Merchant][Age: 23][Trait Rarity] [»][Archery] [†][Tamer] [Þ][Mind's Eye] [Þ]
Spoiler
[TIER][Legendary] [5*][Excellent] [4*][Great] [3*] [Good] [2*] [Average] [1*] [TYPE][Combat: †][Magical: ℑ][Passive: Þ] [collapse]
‘Anna’s taste in nightwear is impeccable… why must you look like this, Frost? It’s embarrassing, I could spend hours standing here...'
'Was your affection for yourself always this high? Or is this because I've stolen your body?’
In the bedroom wing of the palace, I'm currently standing in the bedroom I've been assigned. The room is surprisingly simple and basic considering the finances my wife possesses, but it's more than enough for me. Lots of drawers, a good view of the capital, a huge walk-in closet, and a mirror I can't help but gaze into.
It's not like I'm vain or anything like that, it's just human nature to gaze into a mirror when you pass it, right?
…
But seriously though, this does allow me to go over my traits. Like everyone else in this world, I also have some standout traits. If you were to only judge me by my traits, Frost has her uses.
The Mind’s Eye trait should be self-explanatory; it solely exists for me to see other people’s traits.
The Archery trait is also simple enough. At tier two, I’d say I’m pretty good at shooting. From the brief amount of testing I’ve done, I can hit my target more often than not.
However, the Tamer trait I’ve not been able to test. Wild animals aren’t exactly common in this capital, and lord knows I’m not going into the sewers to try to befriend some rats. There’s a future event I’m thinking might be perfect for testing this…
But that will have to wait. There is some personal business I must attend to first.
‘Right, time to focus! Where did I get to? And how do I open this again?’
And by that, it’s the secret diary I’ve been keeping. Sitting on the desk inside this bedroom, what could it possibly contain? The sort of thing that could get me tried for insanity, or labelled a prophet.
I carefully hid this beneath a pile of books the servants brought from my manor. There weren’t many personal items I brought with me, but this I couldn’t leave. This diary also contains a neat feature: it locks. Each corner contains a latch, and if you don’t pop them out in the correct order, ink is supposed to spill everywhere and ruin the book...
Click!
‘Got it! To think Frost had this just lying around.’
Now it’s time to once again recall my thoughts. Is there anything else I can remember?
[Another Hand Touches the Bacon] [a/n: This is supposed to be a little chaotic...]
Spoiler
(Hoping that title will make this book look unsuspicious)
And it’s official, I’m insane. This can’t be real, it can’t be. Even my handwriting is neat… Look! Who can read this shit!?
It’s real. No amount of pinching has woken me from this nightmare, so now I’m miserable for 2 reasons. There’s being isekaied and all, but into a place like this? I think this world might be medieval/renaissance themed, so maybe I’m in a manhwa? If this is reverse harem, I’m going to kill myself.
It’s not, thank fuck it’s not! I know where I am! It’s terrible, but at least I know!
I’ve been trying to avert my gaze, but something caught the corner of my eye. A tiny indicator above my head that appears to open a trait menu. Didn’t I read this piece of shit novel months ago? And who the heck am I?
…
[This page was written over a week.] Okay, I’ve put this off for long enough, no more distractions. It’s time to focus and remember anything significant…
Charity event, Saintess attacked, saved by Bastard. Berates her, haters to lovers cliche.
Daily chores, keep bumping into each other (Novel logic, might be stalker). Still fighting, but Bastard follows.
Campfire scene, guy’s sad backstory? Can’t remember.
Looting dungeons, Bastard annoying. Finds holy sword, 0.00000001 chance? Fight over it, Bastard wins. Still together 4 sum reason.
Saintess fights slavers, frees slaves. Saved again, berates again, finally snaps. Split up, only to run into each other again.
Palace scenes POV, background, lead up to Crown Princess death. Suicide? A conspiracy? Novel didn't say.
(I’ve forgotten a lot, but all this defo happened. Also, the King’s death ends the middle section. Add new page when I get around to it…)
What is my purpose? Why was Frost misgendered?
How expensive are mercenaries?
How hard would it be to burn down the guild?
Does my tamer trait even work?
Is there a safe way to become infertile?
After entering palace…
Princess’s curse, what’s it do? What does she want?
Why is the palace empty? Why weird maids?
How safe is this place really?
[collapse]
The thing about entering a book you read months ago is that you forget most of it. It took me days of painstaking trial and error to remember just the beginning of this story. It doesn’t help that finishing this novel was a challenge in itself.
‘Ah, I can think of more questions at least.’
Before the story officially starts, I need to be prepared, so it’s probably for the best to recall some of the story again…
‘Hmm… just the typical story of a cold and distant boy stalking a chirpy and upbeat girl. Doesn’t the Bastard threaten to tie her up on multiple occasions? I hate this story so much.’
Their relationship started on toxicity; things only change because the Saintess has a limit to how much shit she’ll put up with.
But I digress, this story was filled with clichés, most of which made no sense. We had an evil villainess, a dying king, a pure saintess, a cold-bastard prince, multiple male leads, and an inevitable war.
I seem to remember even a mecha showing up… I’ll just focus on the earlier stages for now. This story is obviously focused around the Saintess and the Bastard. It’s only when the King dies that things get spicy.
‘Keeping the Princess alive has to be my priority. Even if she turns insane and the people want her head, it’s still better than the alternative.’
Blood, there’s something magical about the Koenig family regarding their blood, although I can’t remember what. I do remember all hell unleashes the moment the throne is no longer backed by that blood. That’s a big problem considering the royal family has a succession crisis.
The King Archibald III reigns supreme, although his reign is limited. Due to his advanced age and an incurable disease with no known cure, he will die at some point.
His wife, Adelicia, may be considerably younger, but succession dictates she has no right to be ruler.
The first in line would be the Bastard; his problem is personality. Without the Saintess to tame him, he's unfit to rule yet. Also, the Queen wants him dead, probably due to him not being her son?
Next in line to the throne is my wife, Ashia, the current Crown Princess. She would be the safest bet if the novel didn’t kill her off almost immediately. I have to be careful and make sure that doesn’t happen.
Last but not least is the youngest son, Edan. Another problem, his health is as shoddy as his father’s. Although he doesn’t die in the story, I do remember he was famous for being the sickest person in the entire kingdom. I’m sure he randomly disappears at some point as well.
“*Sigh*… how is it I don’t remember the ending? It definitely had something to do with destroying the demonic army… crap!”
My heart skips a beat as a knock arrives from behind, forcing me to hurriedly grab my diary and tuck it under the bedding.
Opening the door, it appears the bitch maid is standing there.
“Her Highness summons you, Madam. It’s now your duty to go see her.”
‘My duty? At this late hour? Oops… I’ve forgotten a key part of how a wedding day is supposed to end…’
“Greetings, my stunningly beautiful wife. Are you ready to consummate this marriage?”
…
The maid leads me into the vixen’s quarters, and this is what I find awaiting me. Sprawled out on the bed, a grinning crimson goddess lies ready to gobble me up.
But that would be far too easy, right? This is only the third time we’ve spoken. I had a feeling she’d do something like this.
The question is, how do I react? Seductively crawl onto the bed? Act all flustered? Flirt while teasing her back? Pinch yourself, hoping this dream will never end?
No, it’s all an act. I'll prove it.
[MIND'S EYE][First Name: Ashia][Family Name: Koenig][Affection: 30/100][Traits] [»][Gender: Female][Class: Royalty][Age: 25][Trait Rarity] [»][Swordsman] [†][Cursed] [Þ][Pyromaniac] [ℑ]
Spoiler
[TIER][Legendary] [5*][Excellent] [4*][Great] [3*] [Good] [2*] [Average] [1*] [TYPE][Combat: †][Magical: ℑ][Passive: Þ] [collapse]
‘The fuck!? That went up by ten in a single day!? Erm...’
Thirty may seem good, but it’s still average considering the affection scale goes as low as minus one hundred. The average person starts around zero towards me, but someone nasty like that maid would be lower.
But now it really is time to respond. Steadying my resolve, this doesn’t impress me at all. She is really pretty though...
“Try these acts on me, and you’ll forever find that bed cold and empty.”
“Heh, so very boring. Don’t you feel anything seeing me like this?”
Her fake teasing causes me to roll my eyes; I already know something important about her. That beautiful smile is deceptive. It can rise in a second and drop a moment later. Maybe it can be real, but this doesn’t feel real.
“I’m growing tired... Your Highness.”
“Very well, I’ll stop. I do have a task for you, if you’re willing to accept it.”
“And what does this task entail?”
“Spend the night in this room, that’s it. When the lights go out, so does any sense of decency inside this palace. The rumour mill spins out of control… catch my meaning?”
Hmm… I think I understand what she’s getting at. We’ve already made the national news with our wedding; this is only adding fuel to the fire. It would also go to great lengths to make this marriage seem genuine… and devious. The Princess may have gone out of her way to change the law, but that still won’t change the common opinion overnight.
But for what reason though? To appear in love? Or for people to truly think she’s insane? Could it be she wants to catch an eavesdropper inside the palace?
Either way, she’s asking for my help, so of course I’ll help. Since we’re still talking about it, a whisper makes more sense.
“So... you’re wanting rumour to spread? Then might I suggest we up the ante?”
“How might we do that?”
“It depends on how loud your bed is… and how vocal you can be. Are you any good at voice acting?”
The Princess immediately realises what I’m suggesting, so much so that it even catches her off guard. Two can partake in her acts.
“Heh, how mischievous! You continue to surprise me, Frost. I suppose a night of passionate lovemaking awaits…”
…
…
…
That night, neither of us got much in the way of sleep. It took all our efforts to avoid giggling, especially when multiple of the bed boards snapped due to our actions.
But thankfully, jumping on the bed and making some very suspicious sounds had the effect it should. Some key lines include…
“This bed is far too small.”
“Oh my! What stamina you have, dear!”
“My love… keep doing exactly that.”
“Not there, you’ll make me scream!”
“Wow, just wow…”
[Bedtime Blues]
Spoiler
“Your Highness? Are you sleeping or not?”
In an hour or two, the sun shall rise. Yet, I’m the only one in bed while the Princess sits at her desk sorting through papers.
“Don’t mind me, this night was planned for work anyway. I never intended to sleep…”
[collapse]