For years, life inside the Princess’s palace steers towards being boring, even to the eye. Years prior, it held significant beauty rivalling both the King and Queen’s residences. Flags woven from the finest of silks, ornaments sculpted from the rarest of minerals, even the marble flooring was adorned with emeralds and diamonds.
Now, it remains a distant memory of its former glory, the greatest thing of value left being the dowry paid for the foreigner. Almost overnight, the palace began to die. The Princess’s mind snapped, and the building was the result of that. If it isn’t essential, she’d auction it off.
And today, the foreigner will come to understand just a sliver of the Princess’s insanity. One moment of happiness can end in a heartbeat…
“My apologies, Madam, but Her Highness instructed me to treat you identically to herself. My duty is to make sure you two look the best you possibly can.”
“But if there’s no one around, then who’ll know? You act as if every second we must look perfect.”
“I’ll know, and you will also. The thought of either of you looking imperfect makes my heart ache. Must you cause me so much suffering, Madam Frost? We’re behind schedule as it is.”
This morning can best be described with one word… hellish. Usually, I’d be dressed, my hair brushed, and breakfast would be eaten by now. And yet, I find myself arguing with the head maid inside my walk-in closet. The only way I can get through to her is to rebel a little.
“Boohoo. Back down, and I’ll even help you catch up.”
“I refuse. Madam Frost should never concern herself with the busywork of the palace.”
“Bloody maid! Just how stubborn are you, Anna?”
“As stubborn as a mule, Madam.”
[MIND'S EYE][First Name: Anna][Family Name: Whitehall][Affection: 20/100][Traits] [»][Gender: Female][Class: Servant][Age: 29][Trait Rarity] [»][Loyal] [Þ][Stubborn] [Þ][Perfectionist] [Þ]
Spoiler
[TIER][Legendary] [5*][Excellent] [4*][Great] [3*] [Good] [2*] [Average] [1*] [TYPE][Combat: †][Magical: ℑ][Passive: Þ] [collapse]
‘No shit… Her Highness is definitely right to put her faith in Anna. To think someone can be that loyal.’
A lot of this world has a medieval-renaissance theme to it, but I think the clothing is closer to the Renaissance era. Although massively simplified, it’s a fictional novel, even manga struggles to depict accurate era clothing.
“The problem isn’t anything like appearance; it’s practicality. Do the few knights around here train while wearing heels, skirts, and corsets?”
“In a perfect world, they would.”
‘What? Damn it, Anna! Don’t put images like that in my head!’
That’s the issue, practicality. If I’m to improve my archery, I’m thinking shooting at different positions, or while moving, may help me reach the next tier. At this point, I’m resigned to give up…
“Can I at least have your permission to request some outfits with pants? I'm going to end up tripping and breaking my neck while I'm shooting!”
“Pants? That’s what Madam wants? Just pants? Her Highness owns a few pairs, providing pants is no issue.”
‘That’s all it took!? The Princess never wears any, so I thought pants might be "unladylike". Ah, who cares? I've negotiated with the monster-maid Anna!'
Letting out a huge sigh of relief, I finally allow Anna to begin our morning routine. Socks, underwear, undergarments, heels, a corset, an actual outfit. This stuff always takes ridiculously too long.
“Anyways… did I have anything planned for today?”
“Her Highness did arrange for something. Although… I’m not sure Madam will be happy with it.”
Now I’m really intrigued. What won’t I be happy with? I’m a pretty chill guy, or girl. What could make me unhappy?
“Let’s hear it.”
“It will be better to experience rather than explain, Madam Frost. Once we’re finished, wait ten minutes or so, then please head to the unused wing of the palace and find the common room…”
“Anna? You’re the person I’m to meet with?”
In an unused, dusty section of the palace sits a surprisingly cosy room. With multiple red sofas, a few coffee tables and paintings from all over the world, it almost seems like a makeshift storage room capable of handling guests.
Yet, only the head maid Anna and I are here. I'm completely unaware of what’s going on.
“Since you made a request, I’ve been tasked to give you lessons. All maids hired by Her Highness require extensive training, so there is no one better suited to this task.”
‘Me and my big mouth, I didn’t actually request etiquette lessons! Eh... maybe I could find some useful knowledge here.’
I’m not one to back down from a challenge, evidenced by the fact that my goals are to save the Princess and survive the ending.
But there is still something I can’t get over.
“But… that getup. You need glasses?”
It’s funny how just removing an apron, holding a cane, and wearing glasses can make someone look sophisticated. She looks freaking adorable in them!
“It is part of the outfit, Madam Frost. Now, are you ready to begin learning about etiquette? I warn you, this is a battle even Her Highness struggles to win.”
This… might be a mistake. Screw it, I’ve already got the body of a lady, gaining a small fraction of the mind of one can’t be too difficult, right?
With resolve and reluctance in my heart, I nod to Anna to begin. With her still possessing that cane, she walks up to me and taps the side of my leg with it.
“First, a lady must always appear refined and stand proud. Posture as straight as a pillar, and a smile not too inviting nor distant. Keep still for inspection.”
Anna brings the cane upwards to my waist, then begins to circle me as if she’s a shark. She tries her hardest to find flaws, but thankfully, my posture isn’t one of them. Computers don’t exist in this world, so Frost doesn’t have the misfortune of a gaming posture.
‘Standing straight and smiling… is this supposed to be easy? I’ve gone and jinxed it, haven’t I?’
This first task is completed successfully… apart from my hair needing a slight readjustment. Frost could poke out someone’s eye with the way her hair naturally spikes up.
After Anna brushes it back down, we continue with the training!
“A lady must walk in a certain way. While walking, a lady’s legs shall never separate further than an inch. Each footstep shall be quieter than a mouse.”
‘Eh? Do ladies slither across the ground?’
Using one of the canes to point to the other side of the room, I hobble along but can already tell this is pointless. I last for ten seconds or so, but unsurprisingly, wriggling along with heels isn’t particularly easy.
‘I bet binding my ankles would mak—’
Whack!
‘The fuck!?’
An ungodly racket beckons from behind as Anna purposely crashes the cane onto an empty coffee table. I swear bits of wood splintered from that hit!
“Let’s just get one thing straight, Anna. That cane hits me, I promise I’ll return the favour tenfold.”
I understand this world has different standards, but we’re not using corporal punishment. If we are, it's either getting covered in brain matter or being shoved where the sun doesn't shine.
However, the usually expressionless maid seems mortified by my remark.
“I would never do something so barbaric, Madam Frost! My teacher used a method that involved bloodying the knuckles, but to put it politely, she was a female dog.”
“This method simply uses noise as a deterrent. No one likes the sound of wood clacking together, correct?”
“Agreed, that’s bloody annoying. But I get the point.”
Since we’re somewhat in agreement, I return to my snake posture only for Anna to change her mind.
“We’ll continue this later. For now, there are more basics to go over. For example, a lady must also speak a certain way. A virtuous woman shouldn't make jokes, nor speak as vulgarly as a man.”
“Eh? How can one not speak like a man?”
I mean, seriously? What kind of absurdity is this shit?
“Again Madam, this is only what my teacher taught me. The idea is to never curse, never gossip, and not talk about things considered manly. War, fighting, politics, craftmanship, alcohol. Those sorts of topics.”
…
Now with serious reservations in my heart, this pisses me off. Are women expected to only talk about things like poetry and embroidery in this world!? No wonder Frost went to the brothel so much; barbarians from the north would never fit in. I'm thankful the princess isn't like that.
Again, we hurriedly move onto more basics, with my annoyance only growing stronger by the second.
“A lady must also curtsey when meeting another. However, she is expected to present herself when facing someone with a higher status. Please try a curtsey, then lower yourself with a bow.”
Half-heartedly lifting the skirt of my dress, then bowing, the cane finds itself against my back, lightly guiding me down.
“Lower.”
‘I’m really going to shove that cane up her—’
“Lower.”
I’m so low down, the world might as well be upside down now!
“Too low! A lady must never show her backside when presenting herself!”
Whack! The cane once again finds itself shattering against the table. The sound is just as annoying as the last time.
“This is revenge for earlier, isn’t it? Anna, I’m not sure this is for me.”
War, cursing and drinking are human rights, not masculine! This novel makes me want to bang my head against the wall, the author went too far with realism on this. History is rarely kind on women.
“You mistake the intent, Madam. And for the record, no sane woman acts this way.”
“Then what’s the point of it all? It’s ridiculous!”
“I agree, it is. But I suppose that is the point, to learn something ridiculous.”
“What's the point in that?”
“Most of this isn’t related to etiquette, Madam Frost; it’s mental strength. Those without physical strength resort to methods that belittle their opponents. It may be less impactful than a sword, but in high society, this is a way to destroy your opponents.”
…
I was this close to calling it quits, then she compares it to a battle!? I’d rather just shoot my enemies, but I can see how this would be useful for opponents you can’t just kill.
‘Sigh… I can see why the Princess likes this maid so much.’
“I promise you, Anna, this will be a lot of work. Don’t expect any immediate results. I plan on forgetting everything the moment this marriage is over.”
For whatever reason, the maid quickly puts her hand to her face and turns away. I presume it's to hide a smile.
Regardless of this, my journey to abandon any sense of manhood begins! Who knows, maybe I’ll become a complete bitch who fights battles only using my tongue? Frost Muntjac, the horrid villainess who rules over the world! With this novel, you never know…
‘I’m drained. To think there’s an art to drinking tea, my pinky finger has never ached this much.’
My mental capacity has been reached, so I crack my knuckles and toss these heels away as I impatiently scamper back to my room. It won’t be long before dinner is served, so for the time being I’m doing nothing.
Except my intention was to laze about and maybe read in bed. The problem? My room isn’t empty...
‘Shit! What the hell is going on there?’
Thump! Tumble! Crash! Whatever’s going on, it’s making a hell of a racket.
I should run, call for the few knights that work here. But what if the thief gets away? Or is it something simple like a maid sorting through the closet?
Grabbing a candlestick from a shelf, I ready my weapon, take a deep breath, then shout as loud as I can.
“WHO’S IN THERE!?”
…
I’m responded with complete silence, only for the silence to end with one last thump.
Anxiety skyrocketing and my adrenaline through the roof, I slam the door open and see immediately what’s going on!
Inside my room, two people are there. One stands with blood dripping from their face. The other, lifeless, with a puddle of blood beneath them.
[a/n: This image isn't worth a warning, is it? If there's anything really gory, I'll warn you + a spoiler beforehand.]“Anna didn’t keep you for longer? That’s unfortunate, you shouldn’t have seen this.”
There she is, the mad hatter of the kingdom. Princess Ashia Koenig, there she stands inside my room, now wiping her blade clean from the maid’s blood.
Do I feel sad? Terrified? Impressed? Awkward? I have no clue. All I know is my grip grows weak and the candlestick falls to the floor.
When it lands, it makes an awful clatter. However, I only have the strength to muster a single word in response to the Princess.
“W-Why?”
“Snooping is one reason. Another... she tried to frame my wife. I hope this doesn't belong to you.”
I flinch from the Princess reaching into one of the drawers, only to take something out and pass it to me.
‘This… has to be poison of some kind, right? What the fuck is wrong with that maid!?’
"That snake has always despised me, but this is brazen even for her."
Before I can even respond, my entire body goes numb, and I feel like my stomach is twisting.
The smell of blood is overwhelming, sure, but nothing compared to the sight of something else. Atop the bloody bedding, a closed book sits.
And yet, I can tell immediately that something is off. The latch that should keep it locked is open, and yet the book doesn’t drip with black ink. Rather, it drips with blood.
“D-Did... you r-read that?”
‘How am I going to explain myself here? Oh, this world is a book, and I know some of the future!? It's a start...’
…
Instead of immediately responding, the blood-covered Princess approaches me with the murder weapon in hand. I freeze, not knowing what I should do. Does she really believe that poison isn’t mine? Is there any trust between us? Is she going to kill me?
Now in touching distance, her sword rises a sliver and my eyes instinctively close.
…
And yet, all she does is sheath her blade. Deep down, do I really fear her? I don't think it's that, I just don't know what to expect.
Even as we now stand face to face, I know I don't fear her. Even covered in blood, I might even like her…
“I caught a glimpse, although she read it longer. Her reaction wasn’t surprising; she probably considered you insane. But we both know that’s not the case, don’t we… "Frost"?”
The way she sarcastically says Frost… she has to know, right? Even with a somewhat stressed face, her voice never rises; it always remains emotionless. Other than the few times she's giggled towards me, it’s as if she doesn’t care.
“You know m-more than you let on, don’t you?”
“Of course. We’re similar, although our circumstances differ. This isn’t the first, nor the last I’ll dirty my blade with that vermin’s blood."
"Six times I've cut her down. My resentment was growing weak, but her actions today have all but proved my disgust.”
“You mean…”
“I’m cursed with the gift of life, Frost. Six times I’ve gone through the pain of death, this life is now the seventh. Someday, the loop will begin again…”
[Meal Prep]
Spoiler
A loyal but stubborn maid ponders to herself in the kitchen over what food should be served tonight. The head maid Anna has many duties, one of which involves managing the kitchen…
‘I wonder what Madam Frost will want to eat. They say people from the north are less refined than pigs, but that's horrid! What a load of poppycock.’
Both my mistresses have a strong taste for meat and sweets; I cannot allow them to eat that stuff every day! I wish for them to be together for a long time; thus, they must maintain a balanced diet! No one will ever suffer with upset tummies under my stewardship.
'Hmm… maybe a vegetable stew with some dumplings? I’ve got a feeling neither of them will have an appetite though…’
[collapse]