Emperor Ling of the North, when you open your eyes at night…
The Celestial Screen lit up, and the entire Jinling City forgot about the curfew, with all the lights turned on.
The captain rushed to his superior’s house in the middle of the night, only to find his superior, the commander of the Military Command Division, sitting on a folding stool in the courtyard in the best viewing spot.
“Commander! Commander! The curfew drum has already passed, but no one in Jinling City is sleeping now! Commander, what should we do?”
Unexpectedly, the commander, who was specifically in charge of enforcing the curfew, didn’t say a word. He merely raised his hand to signal the captain to be quiet, his eyes practically glued to the Celestial Screen.
What kind of joke was this? Who wouldn’t want to see the words from the future brought by the Immortal?
“Commander—”
The captain tried to speak again, but the commander waved his hand impatiently and said, “Stop making noise. We’re blind and can’t see anything.”
Captain: ??? I’m not blind yet!
【First of all, talking about the Qianwu Emperor inevitably involves the chaotic era of that time. Historians today refer to it as the Northern and Southern Qian period. As everyone knows, whenever the words “north” and “south” appear, the extraordinary become even more extraordinary, and its level of absurdity rivals that of the Northern and Southern Dynasties.】
Fusang’s voice echoed from the Celestial Screen, seamlessly continuing from where it had left off.
【First, let’s take a look at the situation at that time. In the ninety-second year of the Da Qian dynasty, the entire Qian had not yet split into two halves. In this era where religion was relatively developed, the emperor at the time was Emperor Ling of Gan—oh, of course, he wasn’t yet the Spiritual Emperor of Northern Qian.】
The comments section was in hysterics: (Hahahaha, I’m dying of laughter. “Religion was relatively developed” refers to the Northern and Southern Qian period, where the Spiritual Emperor of Northern Qian in the north was drinking and practicing Buddhism, while Nan Qian in the south was refining elixirs, cultivating Daoism, and practicing witchcraft? That’s truly extraordinary.)
(Nan Qian cultivates immortality, Northern Qian worships Buddhism—Buddhism, Daoism, and witchcraft all developing together. What does it mean to be an ambassador of religion? This is what it means to be an ambassador of religion. These two brothers are truly absurd.)
(Seriously, I wouldn’t dare write something like this in a novel, but they actually did it in history. The older brother in the north frantically built Buddhist temples while the flames of war at the border burned off half his eyebrows. Emperor Ling could still say, “Isn’t there still half a brow left?” He even tried to pay tribute to the Northern Barbarians to beg for a ceasefire. Of course, the younger brother wasn’t much better. Later, he fled to the south and obsessively refined elixirs and practiced witchcraft.)
As the comments scrolled by, the entire Jinling City seemed to freeze in place, too afraid to speak, especially since the Black Dragon Guards were everywhere.
The captain’s eyes widened in shock. It was the commander who reacted quickly, spitting on the ground before lying down and pretending to be dead, feigning that he had fainted and hadn’t heard such treasonous words.
The captain hurriedly followed suit. Meanwhile, throughout Jinling City, everyone from the Six Ministers to the State Preceptor—all those in positions of power—lay sprawled on the ground, trying to feign death in hopes of awakening the emperor’s humanity.
And at that moment, in the four-sided cells of the Imperial Prison, one person regretted watching the Celestial Screen.
“What are you all trying to do?” Qian Taizu said with deep anguish. “I’m asking, what are you trying to do?”
“What are you two doing! You two, with your dignified appearances! Now that you’ve become emperors, can’t you stop cultivating for a moment? This isn’t an immortal fantasy novel! You can’t become Immortals!”
Xiao Jingchuan was nearly driven mad with rage: “It must be King Chu Wu who still hasn’t let go of my ancestral graves. My ancestral graves!”
One unfilial descendant is enough, but how could there be a pair of them? Who would have thought, King Chu Wu, that you’d like to pair them up like this?
Xiao Jingchuan quickly gritted his teeth and calmed down, because the Celestial Screen began speaking again.
【Haha, I can see the bullet comments, but the Later Emperor of Nan Qian doesn’t deserve this much blame. Later Emperor Yunqi was actually quite capable. If we’re talking about being truly unhinged, it has to be my Emperor Ling. Just look at his posthumous title, everyone. Ancient texts say: “Ling” refers to one who brings chaos but does not ruin the state, who does not strive for fame, and whose actions harm the people through ghosts and spirits. “Ling” means a ruler who is foolish, absurd, and acts recklessly but somehow manages not to destroy the country.】
Tap.
A soft sound echoed as Emperor Yunqi finally set down the teacup he had been fidgeting with for half the day. The gloom on his face slightly receded.
Inside Yunsu Hall, Eunuch Lu felt the oppressive pressure in the hall finally lift and instantly breathed a sigh of relief.
No blood would be shed tonight, thanks to that future-era streamer named Fusang!
【Emperor Ling of the North was also born in fortunate times. The colossal mess he created actually found someone to take over—and not just one person, but three. Next, let’s delve into how this mad emperor, who drank while worshipping Buddha, managed to split the great Da Qian, founded by Qian Taizu, into two.】
Fusang snapped open his fan, striking the pose of a storyteller.
He finally appeared on the Celestial Screen, but his appearance was quite different from what people had imagined.
His hair was an unusual silver-green, cascading down with strands intertwined with silver-gold branches, almost overlapping with the legendary Golden Branches and Jade Leaves of the Divine Tree Fusang, said to have been planted by the Junior Fate Master.
Fusang was the divine tree cultivated by the Junior Fate Master in the Chu region’s shamanistic traditions, and it was also the Junior Fate Master’s true form, essentially serving as a shamanistic symbol of the Junior Fate Master. Alongside deities like the River God and other Nine Songs True Gods, many Alchemy Attendants and Witch Practitioners in the State Preceptor’s Mansion immediately knelt and bowed upon seeing this, exclaiming that the Junior Fate Master had manifested.
“It’s the divine tree! It’s the Junior Fate Master!”
“So that’s it! It’s the Fusang Envoy of the Junior Fate Master’s Divine Tree Fusang who brought these words from the future!”
The State Preceptor narrowed his eyes. Whether the person on the Celestial Screen was truly the Fusang Envoy or not, the best approach now was to treat him as such.
After all… his attitude toward His Majesty wasn’t negative, and he could very well serve as a tool for Nan Qian’s public opinion.
Fusang continued speaking.
【As for Emperor Ling of the North, he was relatively normal in his youth. He even once discussed strategies while gazing at the sea with his study companion—who later became the Northern Qian Prime Minister, Qi Zhou—leaving behind a famous quote: “I shall take all rivers as my wine, and hang the vast sky as my crown.”
Tsk, tsk, taking all rivers as wine and using the Northern Barbarians’ Eternal Sky as a crown—just listen to that. Never mind whether it’s achievable or not, the ambition is certainly there. But it also shows that Emperor Ling of the North had a fondness for drinking even as a child.】
【So when did this normal person become abnormal? It was right after he gazed at the sea. He had just uttered a few heroic lines on the way back when he was robbed by bandits. Yes, robbed by bandits. How did that happen?
Because Emperor Ling of the North had sneaked out at the time, and the bandits thought they had stumbled upon a wealthy target—a perfect opportunity for a heist. Little did they know they had targeted a prince. At that time, Da Qian was already somewhat unstable. Emperor Ling of the North was rescued by a monk from a Buddhist temple, and from then on, he began to believe in Buddhism.】
[“How should I put it… He went down a path of no return. After ascending the throne, he began large-scale construction of Buddhist temples. It was one thing for him to believe in Buddhism, but he also loved drinking. So, with no other choice, he started promoting the corrupt trend of ‘secular monks,’ declaring that monks didn’t have to follow monastic precepts. Monks could drink, eat meat, and kill—yet still be considered eminent monks. He even personally appointed a Greenwood Monk, who had taken hundreds of lives, as a master.”]
(Emperor Ling: Hahaha! Since ancient times, all sages have been lonely; only drinkers leave their names behind! Keep drinking, keep drinking!)
(Ahaha, I can’t laugh. Just hearing this part makes me lose it.)
(It’s utterly absurd. If monks don’t follow precepts, can they even be called monks? I don’t dare look at that truly preposterous period of history. Everyone went mad, and the emperor was especially insane.)
Xiao Jingchuan was completely drained. He collapsed, turning into a limp, motionless worm within the four walls of his cell.
Jun Youcheng’s expression was also grim. As the founding chancellor who had spent his life overseeing tax laws, land systems, and official governance, he knew all too well what this would lead to.
Emperor Ling of the North had created a special class that was growing in numbers and acting without restraint. They even enjoyed the privilege of not paying taxes. What terrifying consequences would that bring?
The outcome was obvious.
The people of Jinling City recalled that painful lesson. Many veteran officials who had lived through it even began wiping away tears. Even the State Preceptor struggled to his feet from the ground.
[“With Emperor Ling of the North pulling this stunt, retribution came swiftly—and it came with earth-shattering force. Just as he had thrown the entire Da Qian into chaos, the old northern nemesis, the Northern Barbarians, happened to produce a formidable leader at that very moment—Chanyu Lie Ri, who called himself ‘one who acts in accordance with the stars and moon, attacking when the moon is full.’ Starting as a lowly horse groom, he unified the entire northern grasslands and established a northern regime covering the lands north of Hanhai, naming his state Great Shuo.”]
[“A new broom sweeps clean. Chanyu Lie Ri’s fire swept across the northern grasslands, and the next target was naturally his old neighbor. Unfortunately, Qian Taizu had shown exceptional foresight. Together with the founding Three Excellencies, he had insisted against all opposition on establishing the capital at the former capital, Yan Chang’an.”]
[“Chang’an—everyone knows its geographical advantages. It sits on the Guanzhong Plain, with the Northern Shaanxi Plateau and the Northern Mountains Range to the north, and the Longxi Plateau and Hexi Corridor to the west. It was strategically superb, both for offense and defense. So, Chanyu Lie Ri devised a cunning plan.”]
[“He bribed the masters closest to Emperor Ling of the North at the time, claiming that Buddha’s relics had been born in the West. He persuaded Emperor Ling to make a pilgrimage to the Western Regions. The emperor, drunk and muddled, heard about Buddha’s sacred bones and instantly thought, ‘I must taste their saltiness!’ In that moment, his vision cleared, his drunkenness vanished, and he leaped up to personally plan the westward journey. Every notable prince, noble, minister, and master was to go—no one was allowed to escape!”]
(Haha, I’m forcing a laugh again. Reading Da Qian’s history is like this—constantly forcing laughter. I must be drunk, otherwise how could I be seeing such things? Emperor Ling even personally compiled a list of everyone Chanyu Lie Ri wanted captured for him.)
(Made an Excel spreadsheet.)
Xiao Jingchuan weakly gave a thumbs-up.
[Emperor Ling of the North actually went on that westward journey too. I’m speechless. Master Xuanzang journeyed west to seek scriptures for all living beings, but your westward journey was a damn funeral procession for Da Qian! Emperor Ling of the North, open your eyes at night and look—I refuse to believe Qian Taizu’s eyes are empty!]
(I’m dying, the Queen of the Kingdom of Women that Emperor Ling of the North encountered on his westward journey was Qian Taizu, right? Qian Taizu charged forward swinging Gu Yue around to beat people up.)
(Wait, the Grand General did say, “I am willing to be Your Majesty’s blade, even if it means death nine times over, I would have no regrets,” but you can’t actually use the Grand General as a weapon, can you?)
(But the Grand General himself probably doesn’t mind, young men loving young men…)
(Still better than loving old men, right?)
…
Not only the entire Jinling City, but even the prisons on all sides fell silent.
Gu Yue’s mind automatically conjured up a map: “Westward journey… west of Chang’an lies the Longxi Plateau and… the Hexi Corridor! Oh no—”
He abruptly raised his head, his expression turning quite grim.
“Snap!”
Fusang snapped his fan shut with a sharp sound, cutting off what Gu Yue was about to say.
[To be honest, Emperor Ling of the North’s plan wasn’t half bad. Tens of thousands of people set out in a grand, orderly procession, showing he wasn’t entirely incompetent. But alas, guess what? Chanyu Lie Ri, who had spent a fortune, fought and scrambled, mobilizing his entire force and traveling a great distance, is now waiting outside Yumen Pass, eating sand while lying in ambush! The entire future of the Northern Barbarians hinges on this one chance! How could he not take it seriously?
Thus, when Emperor Ling of the North embarked on this journey, one of the most unique and unprecedented events in all of history occurred—the Qian-Severing Rebellion.
From then on, the unified history of Da Qian became a thing of the past. Its territory was divided into Nan Qian and Northern Qian, countless loyal ministers and renowned generals died in disgrace, and history turned to a new, chaotic chapter.]
Author’s Note:
Got something on tonight, updating early
“When they plan a campaign, they wait for the stars and moon; when the moon is full and strong, they attack and fight.” —Records of the Grand Historian: Treatise on the Xiongnu