Lemon: That night, after much coaxing, her roommate finally talked Lu Wanning out of it. After all, it was so late going out to look for a place right now wasn’t safe, was it?
“Come on, don’t be upset.”
After hearing about her ordeal at the office that day, the roommate dragged her into making oden together at home. Frozen fish balls and discounted vegetables just bought from the supermarket, boiled in the pot cheap, tasty, and no piles of dishes to wash.
“You slapped that old geezer and kept your job, how great is that? Plus someone appeared out of nowhere to save you. You should be happy, shouldn’t you?”
Lu Wanning breathed in the tempting aroma of the oden. She used to be able to eat several bowls of it, but now she had no appetite at all; she couldn’t get anything down. “I…”
Her lips moved, and only after a moment did, she say, “That person I knew her before.”
“Who?”
“The daughter of the family my mom used to work for as a housekeeper.”
“Were you two close?”
“…”
The roommate didn’t notice anything off about her and said casually, “Must’ve been, otherwise why would she help you?”
They were close. Close enough to sleep in the same bed. Han Yao had a cleanliness obsession she wouldn’t let any of the servants touch her but she would always sneak into Lu Wanning’s blankets at night, press her cheek close, and call her by her nickname.
When she said those two words, her eyes would light up: “Lemon.”
The truth was, Lu Wanning hated being called Lemon. Lu Jiahui wasn’t well educated; she’d given her the name purely because she loved brewing lemon water to drink. But Lu Wanning disliked that sour taste she preferred sweeter fruit.
Yet Han Yao would always insist that lemons were sweet, sweeter than honey. Lu Wanning just thought she was insulting her intelligence.
As if that were possible.
The past came flooding back, scene by scene, but Lu Wanning still gritted her teeth and forced herself to finish a whole bowl of rice. No matter how she died, she wasn’t going to die a hungry ghost.
Late at night, unable to sleep as she listened to the wind outside the window, she got up and dug out the contact info of rental agents from WeChat. She was about to scroll through their Moments to browse listings when she found she couldn’t see anything either she’d been blocked or deleted.
Lu Wanning paused, then switched to other social platforms to look for rental channels. She quickly found plenty of agents and residential communities. Normally these people were online twenty-four seven and accepted friend requests instantly, but now, as if by some unspoken agreement, every one of her requests sank without a trace.
Comments she left under posts went unanswered too.
Lu Wanning wasn’t surprised, just a little numb. This was Han Yao’s style, after all.
She simply joined a rental group chat and waited for people to post sublet listings. But it was late and no one was sharing anything she’d deal with it tomorrow.
Yesterday, Xu Zhen had said she’d notify her once there were results and that she didn’t need to come into the office for the next few days, so Lu Wanning slept in for the first time in ages. When she woke up and checked the group for listings, she found no one was talking.
She casually posted: “Hi, is anyone subletting in XX community?”
Unsurprisingly, no reply.
After all, she’d spent ten whole years with Han Yao a little thing like this wasn’t enough to spoil her mood. She freshened up quickly and got ready to head out to look for a place.
The mirror reflected the face she knew all too well. Perhaps because so many worries had weighed on her overnight, her eyes seemed listless today, her lips pressed tightly together.
In the summer, Lu Wanning had found the heat unbearable, so she’d snipped her hair to below her ears with one cut and had Lu Jiahui give her a loose permed bob only to be teased that a grown woman trying to act cute. A season had passed, and her hair had grown out a bit again.
Should she cut it short again? Or let it grow?
In the past, Han Yao had liked her to keep her hair at a specific length about shoulder-length, so it could be worn down or tied up in a little bun.
Han Yao, Han Yao, Han Yao. Does Han Yao showing up mean there’s no room in her head for anything else?
Lu Wanning shook her head irritably, only to discover that she’d once again absentmindedly tied her hair up in the style Han Yao liked. Furious, she yanked the tie out and headed straight out the door.
She borrowed her roommate’s account and booked an agent through a rental app. On the subway ride over, she suddenly received a message from Chen Yin: “Wanning, are you okay?”
“I’m fine, don’t worry, sis.”
Chen Yin: “Good. Let me tell you.”
The chat showed “the other person is typing” for a long while. Then:
Chen Yin: “The company held a meeting this morning. Even the big bosses who are never in the office came back specially for it. They lectured us about corporate culture for ages, especially emphasizing that the company protects its female employees, that sexual harassment is strictly forbidden, and that violators will be handed straight over to the police…”
Chen Yin: “It’s a good thing and all, but it feels weird to me. The only reason Gao got where he is is because these people were covering for him. Why didn’t anyone say anything before? It all reeks of hypocrisy.”
Chen Yin: “Speaking of Gao he got his comeuppance. Had to share this good news with you to cheer you up.”
Lu Wanning: “What happened to him?”
Chen Yin: “I heard he’s critically ill.”
Lu Wanning frowned. “Critically ill? From when I hit him?” Surely she wasn’t capable of that?
Chen Yin: “No, I heard it’s some hereditary illness acting up. I don’t know the details, but it probably has nothing to do with you.”
A hereditary illness flaring up? Could it have something to do with Han Yao? Lu Wanning felt herself growing paranoid. That was a bad sign her temples throbbed with pain.
Forget it. Focus on apartment hunting first.
Fortunately, meeting the rental agent this time went without a hitch. The agent took her to view apartments as normal, and everything went smoothly almost suspiciously smoothly. She even came across a place she really liked: the size, the price, the location were all great. Practically perfect.
Except it required one month’s deposit plus three months’ rent upfront.
With her current pitiful savings, Lu Wanning knew she couldn’t afford it. Besides, there was no telling whether she’d even have a salary next month.
The agent kindly told her to think it over. “Contact me anytime once you’ve decided. I’ll do my best to hold it for you.”
Lu Wanning thanked her, but inside she felt hollow, suddenly exhausted. Would moving really mean Han Yao couldn’t find her anymore? And if she didn’t move, what would Han Yao do?
She didn’t dare think about it. Didn’t want to.
About three days later, Lu Wanning received a message from Xu Zhen saying she could come back to work but not in her old position.
She’d been transferred to Xu Zhen’s team.
The team Xu Zhen led had always been the company’s top performer, with low turnover. It had been a long time since they’d taken on anyone new, let alone a fresh graduate like Lu Wanning with a blank resume and zero work experience.
Chen Yin even sent her a message to congratulate her: “You’re so lucky! Tons of people would kill to get into President Xu’s team and can’t!”
Lu Wan, Lu Wanning couldn’t say anything. No one would understand the resistance churning inside her.
She and Han Yao that relationship, severed for so many years had tangled itself tightly around her again in just a few short days, like an airtight net closing over her. It could trap her with no effort at all, leaving her nowhere to retreat, forced to walk the path Han Yao had laid out for her, passively, step by step.
The day she returned to the company, Lu Wanning brought back the bag Chen Yin had given her, untouched as it had been. A few days ago she’d been desperate to flee; now she had no choice but to come back, so her steps turned hesitant and sluggish, buying herself every extra second she could.
She didn’t have the money to run far away. She needed this job. Of course, she could also crawl back to Lu Jiahui in disgrace but did she really want to drag her mother into this mess too? As if things weren’t chaotic enough?
Pathetic, really, Lu Wanning mocked herself, expressionless.
Whatever. Dragging it out longer wouldn’t change the outcome. She stopped stalling and quickened her pace.
Colleagues who half-recognized her passed by, their gazes full of probing curiosity after all, everyone had heard Lu Wanning cursing out President Gao that day. For anyone to return to the company so soon after causing such a scene, unscathed, was practically a miracle. Was this girl some kind of connected insider?
But then again, if she were truly connected, how would President Gao have dared lay a hand on her?
Everyone, whether they knew her or not, couldn’t help stealing a glance. Lu Wanning had always had thick skin about this sort of thing; she couldn’t be bothered to react, and went straight to knock on Xu Zhen’s office door. No answer.
“President Xu is in a meeting in Conference Room Seven,” a kindly-faced colleague reminded her as she passed.
Lu Wanning thanked her and went off to find Conference Room Seven.
She deliberately peered through the frosted glass at the side there was only a single figure inside.
She knocked again. A moment later, a single clipped word came from within.
“Come in.”
The instant Lu Wanning pushed the door open, the face at the far end of the long table met her eyes without warning.
A black shirtdress again, though a different style from that day for that person never wore the same outfit twice, out of habit. The silk of the shirt shimmered with a dark luster that nearly merged with her hair, so one couldn’t tell where the strands ended.
Han Yao’s eyes narrowed like a cat’s, and she gave her a small, pressed-lip smile. Her long, slender gaze was like water.
Like water ringing, cold and clear.
Like an alarm bell.
Lu Wanning’s face changed drastically. She flung the door handle away as if it were a hot potato, nearly dropping the bag in her hand, and instinctively put up her guard only to see Han Yao rise to her feet.
“Lu Wanning.”
She said the name very softly.
Han Yao never called her by her full name.
The smile at the corner of her mouth remained gentle. “Long time no see, and not even a hello.”
Lu Wanning stared blankly at that face, trying to discern how much of the expression on it was real.
Han Yao used to always wear that calm, gentle mask, never changing expression no matter what happened. As for what lay behind it, one could only catch the faintest glimpse in the madness hidden within those eyes.
But now, Lu Wanning could read nothing at all.
“…” She was silent a moment, then said stiffly, “What are you doing here?”
“I’m a shareholder.”
Lu Wanning wasn’t buying it, and raised her voice slightly. “Don’t give me that. You ”
“Lu Wanning.” Han Yao called her full name again, cutting her off.
The conference room fell silent for five seconds.
Afterward, Han Yao said, “I helped you out, and that’s how you thank me? How rude.”
Fair enough if not for Han Yao, she would have lost her job and been sleeping on the streets.
After a long pause, Lu Wanning lowered her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Her voice turned cold and stiff. “I came to see President Xu. Since she’s not here, I won’t linger. Also… we shouldn’t see each other again… President Han.” She drew a deliberate line with the title.
Han Yao’s expression was indifference itself. She gave a soft “Mm.” “What happened before is all in the past.”
If only that were true.
“Then I’ll take my leave.” Lu Wanning turned and left, yet she still felt uneasy, as if needles pricked at her back.
Han Yao was acting… too normal. Unnaturally normal. She even started questioning what she’d just heard.
“All in the past”?
How could those words have come out of Han Yao’s mouth? Could five years really change a person that much?
Lu Wanning couldn’t believe it.
Behind her, Han Yao quietly gazed at that familiar figure.
It was a long while before Lu Wanning vanished completely from view only then did her eyes begin to tremble ever so slightly, like surging tides, like the deep sea under the cover of night.
The fingers hidden beneath the desk were nearly digging into the wood.
Don’t go don’t go don’t go don’t go don’t go don’t go don’t go don’t go don’t go don’t go.
Why won’t you turn around and look at me?
I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you so much it’s no different from dying.
I want to tie you up, hide you away, lock you up, chain you to the bed and never let you leave, put a collar on you that only I am allowed to touch, mark your whole body as mine, make you look into my eyes every day and say that in your past life, this life, your next life, and the life after that no matter which life you’ll love only me, and repeat it ten thousand times.
……
But Han Yao said none of it out loud.
She simply hid everything, as always, behind those deceiving eyes, and smiled with pressed lips.