Sun Nianhai rolled up the imperial decree and presented it to Consort Jiang with both hands. “Congratulations, Consort Jiang, congratulations. The Phoenix Spring Favor Carriage is already waiting outside the hall. Please prepare to bathe and change clothes.”
With that, he stepped forward and lowered his voice to advise, “Since you have arrived, accept your situation. His Majesty is magnanimous, which is your good fortune. Please cherish it well and do not be foolish again.”
Jiang Wangnan knew that the other was referring to the previous assassination attempt during bed service.
“Many thanks, Eunuch Sun. Please rest assured, Eunuch, I will definitely keep it in mind.”
Accepting the decree, Qiu Ruo, Luo Jing, and the others beamed with joy, happy for him.
Only he himself felt that this imperial decree was somewhat heavy.
Since everyone was happy, he should be happy too, and not be the one who spoiled the mood.
Xiying Palace would get better from now on. As long as they firmly chose not to leave, he would firmly protect them.
The bathing room was wreathed in steam, and baskets of flower petals were placed beside the wooden tub. Jasmine, rose, osmanthus, gardenia, fragrances drifted into the air.
Jiang Wangnan soaked in the bath, letting the servants scrub his back.
Having chopped firewood all day, the hot water soaked away the fatigue, making all his bones feel relaxed to the extreme.
An old wet nurse walked in, picked up a basket of flower petals, and scattered them.
“Wait.” Jiang Wangnan stopped her.
“Does Your Ladyship not like gardenias?” the wet nurse asked curiously.
“No, well. Which fragrance does His Majesty like?”
The wet nurse shook her head. “This old servant has entered the palace for so many years and has never heard of His Majesty’s preferences.”
“What do other consorts scatter when they serve in bed?” He cleverly managed to change his phrasing.
The wet nurse shook her head again. “Your Ladyship is the first.”
“The first?”
The wet nurse cast her gaze left and right. Risking the danger of being eavesdropped on, she nodded gently.
Mimicking her intensely secretive little expression, Jiang Wangnan asked, “So, His Majesty is still a virgin?”
“Not necessarily, or perhaps he is.”
“What do you mean? Is he or isn’t he?” Jiang Wangnan kept pressing on with burning curiosity.
The wet nurse lowered her voice. “Your Ladyship does not know this, but His Majesty is diligent in state affairs and has no mind for women. He has never flipped any plaques, and the consorts in the harem are all anxious. With or without reason, they go before His Majesty to make themselves familiar, serving tea, sending snacks, and so on.
“Sometimes, His Majesty will keep someone overnight, but whether they consummate the marriage, this old servant does not know. However, men all have needs, and His Majesty is no exception.”
“Fickle playboy,” Jiang Wangnan scoffed disdainfully.
The wet nurse added, “Your Ladyship must not speak thus. His Majesty is the Son of Heaven, and many matters are beyond his personal control.”
“How so?” Did a scumbag need an excuse?
“For instance, the fathers of the various consorts in the harem are court officials, especially Noble Consort Gao, the daughter of the Grand Chancellor. With only His Majesty’s individual strength, his reach inevitably falls short, and he must mobilize both left and right hands to better govern court affairs.
“Generally speaking, whomever His Majesty favors among their daughters implies which official he values. This old servant is foolish and can only understand up to this level.”
“No, I think what you said makes a lot of sense, much smarter than me,” Jiang Wangnan said sincerely.
The wet nurse was startled for a moment, then pursed her lips into a smile, feeling deeply gratified. “Your Ladyship flatters me.”
She was merely an instructing servant; since entering the palace, she had endured countless scoldings until reaching her current age, and this was the first time she had ever heard someone praise her so straightforwardly.
Who does not like being praised?
“Your Ladyship, the time is almost up, and this old servant still needs to teach Your Ladyship one thing.”
She took out a moderately thick book from the side. Its cover had developed some wrinkles, and as she handed it over, a gust of wind flipped up a small corner, revealing what looked like illustrations inside.
Jiang Wangnan eagerly took it. “Is this a comic book?”
Opening a page at random, with a smack, he closed it in the blink of an eye, widened his eyes, turned around with a stiff neck, and his face burning red. “No way. Is this that?”
The wet nurse smiled amiably. “Yes, Your Ladyship.”
That was right, a spring palace manual, specifically an advanced version with the eighty-one positions.
“The State of Zhao has traditionally disliked homosexuality, so we can only use manuals of men and women to teach. Your Ladyship, please look, this first position.”
The wet nurse proceeded to open a page depicting two people standing. The one in front was bent over against the wall, their cheeks flushed, their expression a mix of soreness and agony. The one behind stood straight, hands pinching the waist of the former, neck tilted slightly back, mouth slightly open as if sighing in appreciation of something.
“Stop right there.”
Jiang Wangnan hurriedly closed the book. His whole body felt like a burning cloud of fire, hot and red. “I can just read it myself.”
Having taught this sort of thing for years, the wet nurse remained completely unblushing and unfazed, dutifully following up with questions. “Does Your Ladyship truly understand? This bed affair is not something that goes smoothly just by following illustrations. Your Ladyship must submit to His Majesty’s will, seek out the points that make His Majesty feel good, try to converse with His Majesty about sensations, and slowly explore, attempt, and please His Majesty.”
“Wet nurse, say no more. I should understand it, haha,” Jiang Wangnan laughed dryly, feeling like crying without tears.
Since high school, he had known his own sexual orientation. As a teenager with strong curiosity, he had watched plenty of adult videos and read many novels, leaving his theoretical knowledge exceptionally rich through purely self-taught exploration.
Now, having someone else lecture him on making out gave him goosebumps all over. As for practical application, he honestly felt thoroughly unconfident.
The wet nurse stopped egging him on, merely curtsying and saying, “If Your Ladyship has any points of confusion at any time, you may summon this old servant.”
“Definitely, definitely, haha, thank you, no need to see me off, bye-bye.” His fake tone sounded like brushing off a teacher while rushing out of class.
After the wet nurse departed, the scrubbing eunuch also finished his work and withdrew. Jiang Wangnan leaned his head back against the edge of the wooden tub and dazed off.
Bed affairs were a matter between two people; why should he only cater to Xiao Quanchuan’s feelings? What about himself, just a tool for pleasing someone else?
Thinking about it this way, he felt this was no different from being a male prostitute.
A mutual-kill political scheming novel had instantly turned into a melodramatic tragic romance between a sugar daddy Gong and a prostitute Shou.
What a miserable transmigrated guy.
Trapped deep in the palace with no choice, since he had chosen to walk this path, he would endure humiliation for now, seek another opportunity to run away, and completely erase Xiao Quanchuan from his life.
In time, this period of nursing hatred and enduring hardships would probably fade with the passage of years.
He preferred focusing on happy things; for him, forgetfulness was a major virtue.
The emotions clogging his chest finally found an outlet, but upon second thought, Xiao Quanchuan was not an ordinary fierce opponent.
Scattered vocabulary from the original book: pillar of heaven, giant python, pile driver, ten-times-a-night man.
Jiang Wangnan raised his fist, roughly estimated the size, uttered a direct curse, and floated limply in the water. “Wuwuwu, let pain finish me off.”
At that moment, someone called out from outside the bathing room, “Your Ladyship, Your Ladyship.”
“Luo Jing? Come on in.”
What was he here for?
“Your Ladyship, this servant managed to unearth a good item, which I figured Your Ladyship should find useful.” Luo Jing lowered his voice, putting strength into barely more than a breath.
Why did everyone in this palace have such a strong covert agent vibe?
“What is it?” Yet, he was genuinely curious too.
The young man fished an object out of his wide sleeve, pale yellow, thick, with a bullet-shaped tip.
Jiang Wangnan’s eyes widened. “Holy crap! Where did you get this?”
Luo Jing’s eyes widened even more than his. “Your Ladyship knows what this is too?”
Nonsense, wasn’t this an expansion toy?
What amazed him was that ancient times played with this sort of thing as well!
Right at that moment, footsteps sounded outside the door, presumably coming to help Jiang Wangnan change clothes and board the carriage.
Luo Jing did not have time to elaborate. “Your Ladyship, this servant heard that before serving in bed, using this to relax beforehand makes it much less painful. It is made of rubber and does not hurt the skin.” With that, he turned on his heels and left.
Jiang Wangnan twitched his stiff lips. Lying in his palm was that pale yellow bullet tip. Not to mention, the texture really was quite similar.
The night was deep and heavy, candles flickering within the Palace of Mental Cultivation.
Before the palace gates, a Phoenix Spring Favor Carriage stopped slowly. A wet nurse lifted the carriage curtain, and a slender, white hand reached out from within.
Jiang Wangnan got out of the carriage, stepped across the threshold with the wet nurse’s support, his robe hem dragging on the ground.
His black hair was loose, reaching down to his waist, and he was draped only in a thin, light-yellow outer garment. Beneath it, he wore a shame-inducing outfit, feeling awkward the entire way and completely ill at ease.
“Your Majesty, Consort Jiang has arrived.” Sun Nianhai flicked his horsetail whisk, and the servants on both sides knowingly dispersed.
As if finishing a shift, Sun Nianhai very consciously closed the door.
On the side of the warm bed, a desk, a stack of memorials, and a dish of bitter lotus seeds. The man in black robes with golden dragon patterns sat with an upright and proper posture, completely focused, holding a wolf-hair brush and writing something.
On the way here, the wet nurse had explained that serving in bed did not merely refer to the sexual act itself. Before that, plenty of foreplay was required, such as chatting and confiding in one another.
In other words, before getting into bed, one had to spark the other’s interest!
Damn it, being a duck did not require this much hassle!
Soften his voice, Jiang Wangnan forced a stiff smile. “This consort greets Your Majesty.”
“Rise.” Xiao Quanchuan did not even lift his head.
The air suddenly grew quiet, and Jiang Wangnan stood there feeling somewhat awkward.
This dog emperor had clearly flipped his plaque, yet now he was ignoring him?
Feeling as though he had been played and unable to swallow his anger, Jiang Wangnan mustered his courage, swaying his waist as he walked back and forth around Xiao Quanchuan, using his hand like a fan to wave continuously. “It is so hot, Your Majesty.”
Did you smell it? You smell it, right?
I soaked in a gardenia bath until my skin wrinkled, rubbed on essential oils, and even my sweat smells fragrant, right?
Hahaha, this old fogey is bound to be captivated to death by me!
“Take a look at how many layers you are wearing.” Xiao Quanchuan remarked.
Deciding to play along stubbornly, Jiang Wangnan walked right to his direct front to undress. “Then this consort will take it off. When I undress, Your Majesty must not peek.”
Xiao Quanchuan calmly took a sip of tea and quietly watched him.
His fair fingers fumbled at the waist knot behind him, tugging at it a few times. Not only did the knot refuse to loosen, but it grew tighter and clumsier the more he pulled. His palms began to sweat, so he simply started clawing at it indiscriminately, ending up tying a dead knot.
Jiang Wangnan: “…”
Xiao Quanchuan slightly raised an eyebrow, leisurely changing his posture.
After struggling for a while, Jiang Wangnan bit his lip, looking defeated and aggrieved as he looked over. “Your Majesty.”
He chuckled softly.
Jiang Wangnan felt mocked. How humiliating. He lowered his head to stare at his shoetips.
A moment later, a pair of black boots stepped into his view, embroidered with dragon motifs in gold thread, lifelike and vivid.
The two of them were separated by only half an arm’s distance. The other’s faint wood fragrance mingled and fused with the floral scent on his body, carrying a unique charm.
Xiao Quanchuan’s large hand pressed against his waist, and Jiang Wangnan felt his entire waistline grasped within the other’s palm, as if it would snap with a single pinch.
That hand did not move away; it seemed to simply hook and pull at his lower back with a finger, gradually loosening his belt.
With this loosening, the entire outer robe fell heavily down, piling up near his feet.
“You.”
At this moment, Xiao Quanchuan saw clearly what he was wearing underneath, displaying a rare look of astonishment.
He was relatively slender, wearing a white form-fitting inner garment as light as cicada wings, shaped like a bellyband, embroidered with delicate patterns. On his lower body was a skirt of the same color, resembling sheer gauze, with a solid piece of fabric tightly covering the forbidden zone above the middle of his thighs, making it all the more alluring through concealment.
His entire body’s skin looked polished, smooth and fair like milk. Several bright candles flickered right behind him, the firelight passing through the light gauze and outlining his graceful, curvaceous figure, distinct in both solid and shadow, reaching the absolute limit of temptation.
To be honest, Jiang Wangnan had initially refused to wear this thing.
Yet considering it from a man’s perspective, nobody could possibly dislike playing with something this flirtatious yet pure.
Trying to probe Xiao Quanchuan’s expression at the moment, he stepped forward and tugged at his wide sleeve. “Shall we have this consort attend to Your Majesty for rest?”