Falling in the dark is a uniquely terrible experience.
In movies, characters scream dramatically, their hair blowing perfectly in the wind, looking like tragic, beautiful angels.
In reality, Roxanne was just waving her arms and legs around in panic rather than a graceful heroine, inhaling a mouthful of ancient dust, while her torn purple silk dress puff up around her face like a giant, undignified parachute.
“Oh shit, you’ve got to be kidding me!
Ahhhh!!!” she screamed, though it was instantly cut off by a mouthful of dirt.
[WHEEEEEE!
Look at us go, Host!] the System’s voice suddenly blared inside her head, completely cheerful and accompanied by the loud, synthesized sound of a slide whistle.
[This is the ultimate ‘Princess in Distress’ vertical drop sequence!
Think of the wind machine potential!
Think of how your hair is framing your face in a wild, untamed display of vulnerability!
Let’s add some atmosphere to match the vibe you’re making!] Suddenly, a bright pink trail of sparkling, glittery light began to shoot out from Roxanne’s heels like a majestic, sparkly comet tail, illuminating the dark stone shaft they were plummeting down.
“Turn off the sparklers, you stupid machine!
We are going to die!
My life is like an endless death trap!” Roxanne shrieked, waving her arms and legs in panic.
[No way, girlie!
A true heroine never lands without a spectacular visual cue!
Generating the ‘Heroic Catch’ sequence right now!
Prepare your softest sigh!] Before Roxanne could even process that warning, a heavy, iron-clad arm slammed directly into her midsection, knocking the wind completely out of her lungs.
It was Julian.
He had lunged into the dark after her, his golden plate armor clanging violently against the crumbling stone edges of the shaft.
“I got you, Roxanne!” he roared, his voice thick with drama.
“My ribs, you golden idiotic meathead!” she gasped, her face squished directly against his cold metal collarbone.
They didn’t free fall forever.
The vertical drop quickly transitioned into a horribly steep, winding stone, an ancient escape route built deep into the foundation of the Western Hill.
For ten chaotic seconds, Roxanne and the Crown Prince tumbled over and over, a tangled mess of gold armor, bruised knees, and tattered silk.
They slid at a breakneck speed, pink sparkles flying everywhere where Julian’s shoulder plates scraped against the damp stone walls.
Behind them, the darkness was filled with the heavy thud of Alistair’s boots, Malakai’s quiet, hissed curses, and the rhythmic clatter of Ethan’s silver staff bouncing off the stone.
With a final, bone-jarring impact, they shot out of the stone tube and tumbled onto a flat, incredibly dusty floor.
Roxanne lay flat on her back, staring up into a void of absolute blackness.
Her entire body felt like it had been put through a commercial rock tumbler.
Every muscle was screaming, her scraped palms were stinging, and she was pretty sure she had a new, impressive bruise in the shape of Julian’s royal crest right on her hip.
Beside her, Julian was groaning, his heavy armor shifting as he rolled onto his side.
“Roxanne…
are you…
hurt?” “Only emotionally,” Roxanne wheezed, coughing up a cloud of grey dust.
“If you ever tackle me like a football player again, Goldie, I’m going to let the dragon eat you.
I swear!” A soft, pure white light suddenly blossomed to her left.
Ethan was standing a few feet away, his silver staff held high.
The holy light illuminated a massive, cavernous chamber.
The ceiling was lost in the shadows far above, supported by giant, rough-hewn stone pillars that looked like the legs of sleeping beasts.
The air here was freezing cold, smelling heavily of stagnant water and the sharp, chemical tang of the dragon’s green rot.
“Is everyone accounted for?” Ethan asked, his voice steady but carrying a rare undercurrent of genuine tension.
His perfect white robes were finally torn at the hem, stained with black soot.
“I am here,” Alistair rumbled.
The Knight Commander rose from a pile of collapsed masonry, immediately drawing his broadsword.
His grey eyes scanned the darkness, his massive frame instantly stepping into a protective stance in front of Roxanne.
“The Prince?” “I am fine, Commander,” Julian muttered, pushing himself up.
He offered a hand to Roxanne, but she ignored it, pushing herself up with a grimace.
“I’m fine, I have legs,” she grumbled, dusting off her ruined purple dress “And I am here, of course,” Malakai’s voice drifted down from the top of a shattered stone pillar.
He dropped down silently, landing on the balls of his feet.
His amber eyes were bright, his daggers twirling lazily in his fingers.
“Though I must say, sweetheart, your exit strategy was incredibly dramatic.
Next time, let’s use the stairs.” “I didn’t choose to fall down a giant drainpipe, shadow boy,” Roxanne snapped.
“The giant zombie dragon-man shoved me.” [OMG, Host!
The tension in this room is absolutely delicious!] the System squealed, a massive pink screen popping up in her mind, complete with a little cartoon heart wearing a nurse’s cap.
[You have four incredibly gorgeous, bruised, and filthy men standing around you in a dark cave, and they are all looking at you like you are the only source of light in the world!
This is the perfect setup for a tragic, high-friction romance scene for your harem!
I am literally crying right now!
Let’s make it more spicy, girl!] “I am extremely covered in three-hundred-year-old dirt, you useless piece of junk,” Roxanne thought back, her internal voice dripping with venom.
“I don’t want spicy, I want a shower.
Why did you let that giant masked zombie freak sneak up on us?” [Pff, the plot requires a little dramatic tension, sweetie!
Smooth sailing makes for a boring story!
But don’t worry, to help you navigate this cave of absolute hotties, I am unlocking your reward from the last quest!
Say hello to your new Active Skill: ‘Piercing Truth Eye’!
Let’s activate the visual filters!] “Fine.
Activate it,” Roxanne grumbled.
“But if there are any more pink sparkles, I will find a way to pop my own eardrums.” [Hehe, activating!
Welcome to the neon zone, gorgeous!] SYSTEM: Active Skill [Piercing Truth Eye] has been activated.
Remaining Mana: 100% Roxanne’s vision suddenly flickered.
The soft white light from Ethan’s staff didn’t change, but the world around her took on a strange, high-definition, fluorescent clarity.
And then, the neon hit.
Floating directly above each of the four men’s heads was a glowing, incredibly bright neon-pink text box, complete with a fluctuating percentage bar, tiny winking heart emojis, and a running stream of “True Thoughts” translated into plain, blunt, and highly embarrassing text.
Above Julian’s head, the screen read: ‘Target: Julian (Crown Prince)’ Affection Level: 45% (Deeply Confused / Super Protective) True Thought: She is so small…
yet she didn’t scream.
Why does she look at me like I am a giant golden insect rather than her prince?
I must keep her behind me.
If she dies, the light of this empire goes out.
Also, her hair smells like…
wild berries?
Why am I thinking about berries right now?!
But damn!
She really smells so good.
Roxanne stared at the text, her right eye twitching slightly.
Small?
I am five-foot-seven, you golden idiot, she thought, though she couldn’t help but notice the little heart next to “berries” pulsing rhythmically.
She shifted her gaze to Alistair.
His neon screen was even larger, glowing with an intense, dramatic magenta: ‘Target: Alistair (Knight Commander)’ Affection Level: 52% (Severe Guilt / Rising Devotion) True Thought: I let them frame her.
I stood by while she was dragged to the dungeon.
She saved us from the dragon soldiers, and I couldn’t even keep her from falling down rapidly.
I swear on my sword, I will be her shield.
I must ask her what her favorite food is once we survive this.
Does she like cakes?
She looks like she would like strawberry cakes.
“A strawberry cakes?
Seriously?” Roxanne muttered under her breath, rubbing her temples.
“The guilt trip has turned into a bakery menu.” She looked at Ethan, the cold, untouchable High Priest, whose screen was a slightly more subdued, frosty pink: ‘Target: Ethan (High Priest)’ Affection Level: 41% (Intense Intellectual Obsession / Suppressed Panic) True Thought: Her magic is a heresy, yet it purifies the dragon’s rot effortlessly.
She smells of fresh roses in the deepest, dirtiest place.
I want to lock her in the high tower of the temple and study every inch of her power.
Is it wrong that I wanted to hold her hand during the fall?
No, it was for theological stabilization.
Yes.
Stabilization.
‘Theological stabilization?
You freak, and what, study me?
That’s creepy,’ Roxanne thought, taking a few step away from Ethan.
‘Red flag.
Giant, glowing, holy red flag.’ Finally, she looked at Malakai, who was leaning against a pillar, watching her with a lazy smirk beneath a neon screen that was flashing like a nightclub sign: ‘Target: Malakai (Shadow King)’ Affection Level: 48% (Amused Intrigue / Highly Playful) True Thought: What a delightful little creature.
She treats the prince like a dog, the knight like a rusty shovel, and the priest like a massive nerd.
I wonder what face she would make if I pulled her into the shadows and ran away with her to the pleasure districts.
She’d look stunning in black silk.
[Eeeeeeh!
He wants to see you in black silk!] the System squealed, throwing a shower of virtual pink confetti across her vision.
[He is so ready to corrupt you, Host!
This is the bad-boy route peak content!
Quick, look back at him with a sultry, mysterious gaze and say, ‘Only if the silk is imported, shadow boy!’] ‘I am going to strangle you with a fucking virtual cord,’ Roxanne thought back, her jaw clenching.
She looked at the four powerful men, the exact ones who had wanted to cut her head off hours ago, and who were now, according to the glowing neon subtitles, completely losing their minds over her.
“Why are you looking at us like that?” Julian asked, his brow furrowing as he noticed her staring at the empty space above his head.
“Is there something behind us?” “Nope,” Roxanne said, her voice deadpan.
“Just a lot of excess baggage.
A really, really terrifying amount of emotional excess baggage.
But I’m sure you’ll be fine.” “The creature went this way,” Ethan said, pointing his staff toward a massive, arched tunnel at the far end of the chamber.
Thanks to her ‘Piercing Truth Eye’, Roxanne didn’t even need his light to see it.
A thick, glowing trail of toxic green slime and black, rotting ink was smeared across the stone floor, but the system had overlayed it with a bright, hot-pink neon arrow that read: [THIS WAY TO THE BOSS FIGHT, GORGEOUS!] “The Core Earth Stone is losing its energy,” Alistair said, his voice grave as he examined the footprints.
“The creature is draining it to feed the dragon in the sky.
If we do not retrieve it soon, the Western Hill’s foundation will collapse.” “Then we move,” Julian said, his golden sword glowing with a faint light.
“Roxanne, stay in the center of the formation.
Alistair, take the rear.
Malakai, scout ahead in the shadows.
Ethan, keep the light steady.” “Wait a minute, gold boy,” Roxanne said, crossing her arms and stepping right in front of him, her glowing pink subtitle eye making her look incredibly sharp.
“Who made you the boss of this expedition?
Last time I checked, I was the one with the golden key, and I’m the one who cleaned your little crystal.
If anyone is leading, it should be me.
I am the boss here.” Julian paused, his blue eyes widening.
Above his head, the neon text flared wildly: She is defying me again…
why is it so incredibly hot when she does that?
“Roxanne, this is a military operation,” Julian said, his voice softening slightly as he tried to maintain his royal dignity.
“It is dangerous.
I am trying to keep you safe.” “I don’t need to be keep safe, I need you to walk faster,” she said, marching past him and stepping directly into the dark tunnel.
“The sooner we get that rock back, the sooner I can get out of this filthy dress and get a real meal.
Now, move your boots.” The four men stood in the chamber for a brief second, completely stunned by her sheer, unbothered audacity.
“She really is something else,” Malakai chuckled, melting into the shadows of the tunnel wall with a wink.
“Indeed,” Ethan murmured, his silver staff illuminating the path as he hurried to catch up with her.
“A puzzle with absolutely no logical solution.” Alistair simply tightened his grip on his broadsword, his heavy steps echoing in the dark as he followed close behind her, his grey eyes scanning the ceiling.
[Yes, Host!
Walk like you own the place!
Walk like a queen!] the System cheered, playing a tiny, imaginary pop-music beat in her head.
[You’ve got the key, you’ve got the boys, and you’ve got the pink glow!
Let’s go teach that masked zombie how a real queen handles a crisis!] Roxanne just rolled her eyes, her boots splashing through a puddle of cold, black water as she marched deeper into the dark.