For more than thirty years of her life, Madam Yun had never hated herself as much as she did at this moment.
She had never felt such overwhelming regret.
Such crushing guilt.
What had she done?
How had she allowed her daughter to become so fearful and timid?
The moment she thought back to the decision she had made three years ago—to allow Ziyao to be sent to the Laundry Bureau—she wanted to kill herself.
Taking a deep breath, she wiped away her tears and pulled Yun Ziyao tightly into her embrace.
“Rao’er, my Rao’er…”
“How I wish you were still the bright, cheerful girl you used to be.”
“Even if you were a little spoiled and headstrong, it wouldn’t have mattered.”
“We spoiled you because we wanted you to be happy.”
“We wanted you to live a joyful, carefree life.”
Crying, she apologized again and again.
“Rao’er, Mother was wrong.”
“I shouldn’t have agreed to send you to the Laundry Bureau.”
“I shouldn’t have neglected you.”
“I shouldn’t have allowed them to bully you.”
“Rao’er… Mother has wronged you…”
Held tightly in Madam Yun’s arms, Yun Ziyao rested her chin on her shoulder.
Her eyes were swollen and red.
Tears blurred her vision.
Yet deep within those eyes lay only indifference and distance.
She wanted to ask Madam Yun:
Do you know how Yun Ziyao survived those three years in the Laundry Bureau?
Do you know that every day and every night she waited for you to come take her home?
Do you know that she soaked her pillow with tears every night?
That even though she only had two hours to sleep, she often lay awake until dawn?
Her tears had dried up long ago.
The tears she shed now were not the original Yun Ziyao’s grief or sorrow.
They were merely weapons.
Weapons used by the villainous Yun Ziyao for revenge.
“Rao’er.”
Madam Yun’s voice trembled with pain.
“From now on, stay here with Mother.”
“Let Mother take care of you properly, all right?”
Yun Ziyao lowered her eyes and shook her head uneasily.
“Little Sister will be unhappy.”
“Her health isn’t good.”
“I don’t dare upset her…”
“You don’t need to worry about Zijun.”
After forcing herself to calm down, Madam Yun carefully loosened her embrace and helped Yun Ziyao lean against the headboard.
She placed a soft gold-embroidered pillow behind her back.
“Rao’er, there is something Mother wants to ask you.”
Yun Ziyao slowly raised her head.
Her misty eyes were full of fear and uncertainty, like a frightened rabbit.
Suppressing the ache in her heart, Madam Yun picked up a jar of medicinal ointment.
Scooping out a little, she gently applied it to Yun Ziyao’s hands.
“Before you fainted, you told me that Zexuan harbored improper feelings toward Zijun.”
“I want to know what you meant by that.”
Yun Ziyao trembled.
The color drained from her face.
“Mother… I don’t dare say it.”
“I will protect you.”
Madam Yun’s promise was firm.
“No matter what you say today, I guarantee that only the two of us will know.”
Yun Ziyao shivered.
As though recalling something terrifying, her face became ghostly pale.
Her eyes filled with unease.
“Rao’er…”
Closing her eyes, Yun Ziyao let tears slip down her cheeks.
“Mother… Big Brother said he likes Little Sister.”
“But they’re brother and sister…”
“How could I hear something like that?”
“I was so frightened I froze.”
“I only heard Little Sister saying something like, ‘No, you can’t.’”
“And then Big Brother…”
“He pushed Little Sister into the river.”
“He shouted at her in a low voice…”
“Saying that they weren’t really brother and sister anyway…”
Her slender body trembled uncontrollably, as though terrified beyond measure.
“I saw Little Sister get pushed into the river.”
“Big Brother immediately jumped in to save her.”
“I was scared…”
“Mother, I was so scared…”
“So I ran out and called for help.”
Madam Yun was utterly shocked.
Not really brother and sister?
Yun Zexuan and Yun Zijun weren’t brother and sister?
Lowering her eyes, Yun Ziyao continued in a trembling voice,
“Mother… can you pretend you never heard this?”
“If Big Brother finds out, he… he won’t let me go.”
Madam Yun came back to her senses.
Suppressing her emotions, she looked at her terrified daughter and slowly nodded.
“Don’t worry.”
“I won’t let anyone know about this.”
A pale, fragile smile appeared on Yun Ziyao’s face.
“Thank you, Mother.”
Madam Yun resumed applying ointment to her hands.
A faint medicinal fragrance drifted through the room.
“This ointment is very effective for external injuries.”
“Mother will put some on your hands now.”
“Tonight, after you bathe, apply it to every wound on your body, all right?”
Yun Ziyao bit her lip.
“Is this ointment very expensive?”
Madam Yun’s eyes immediately filled with tears again.
She had never imagined there would come a day when she couldn’t even control her own crying.
Her voice trembled.
“It isn’t expensive.”
“You are the eldest daughter of the Chancellor’s Manor.”
“No matter how expensive it is, you can afford it.”
Yun Ziyao lowered her head silently.
At that moment, Nanny Zhou entered carrying a bowl of medicine.
“Madam, the eldest young lady’s medicine is ready.”
“Bring it over.”
“Yes.”
Walking into the room, Nanny Zhou saw Yun Ziyao leaning against the headboard.
Her face immediately filled with concern.
“The eldest young lady is awake?”
“Mm.”
Yun Ziyao nodded softly.
“Nanny Zhou, it’s been so long.”
“I’ve missed you.”
The simple words nearly brought tears to Nanny Zhou’s eyes.
“I’ve missed you too, Eldest Young Lady.”
She quickly wiped at the corner of her eye.
“Your health is weak. Drink this tonic first.”
“It tastes a little bitter, but it’s good for you.”
“Thank you, Nanny Zhou.”
Nanny Zhou shook her head hurriedly.
“This old servant doesn’t deserve your thanks.”
Madam Yun took the medicine bowl and gently blew on it.
“Nanny Zhou, leave us alone for a while. I want to talk to Rao’er privately.”
“Yes, Madam.”
After Nanny Zhou left, Madam Yun looked carefully at Yun Ziyao.
“Rao’er is far too thin.”
“From now on, you must eat properly.”
“You need to nourish your body and gain some weight.”
Yun Ziyao lowered her head again without speaking.
Suppressing the turmoil in her heart, Madam Yun lifted a spoonful of medicine to her lips.
“Drink slowly. It’s still hot.”
“Mother.”
Yun Ziyao reached for the bowl.
“I can do it myself.”
“Little Sister fell into the water.”
“Mother should go see her.”
“If she can’t find you, she’ll be anxious… she’ll feel hurt…”
“I already visited her.”
Madam Yun’s tone cooled noticeably.
“You don’t need to worry about her.”
Yun Ziyao pressed her lips together.
“Oh.”
“Don’t misunderstand.”
Madam Yun quickly explained.
“I simply mean that your priority right now is recovering your health.”
“You don’t need to concern yourself with anything else.”
As she fed her medicine spoonful by spoonful, she chatted gently.
“Now that you’re home, forget everything that happened in the Laundry Bureau.”
“From now on, be the eldest daughter of the Yun family again.”
“Let the past stay in the past.”
“Don’t dwell on it anymore.”
Yun Ziyao swallowed the bitter medicine.
“Your daughter wants to forget.”
“But every time I close my eyes, I see the matrons’ rattan whips…”
Her voice abruptly stopped.
Looking nervously at Madam Yun, she quickly lowered her head.
“Sorry, Mother.”
“I didn’t mean to bring it up.”
Madam Yun blinked away the moisture gathering in her eyes and forced a smile.
“If you can’t forget, then don’t force yourself.”
“From now on, Mother will stay by your side.”
“No one will ever hurt you again.”
Yun Ziyao lowered her gaze and continued drinking the medicine, one mouthful after another.
Her complexion was pale as paper.
Yet the expression hidden deep within her eyes remained as cold and detached as ice.