---Or so I dreamed!
Well, it wasn't exactly a dream, but rather the memories of my previous life.
"...Ouch, that hurts!"
My head was throbbing with a dull, rhythmic ache. It wasn't the sort of headache one might expect from the sudden influx of past-life memories; no, this was something far more direct and physical.
"Young Master, are you unharmed!?" Sebastian asked.
An elderly butler and a flock of maids were peering down at me with looks of profound distress. It appeared I was currently sprawled flat on my back upon the grass.
I decided it wouldn't do to keep everyone hovering in such a state of panic, so I attempted to sit up---or rather, I tried to. My abdominal muscles, however, seemed entirely unequal to the task, and I found I couldn't quite lift myself. Blast.
Having no other choice, I executed a rather ungraceful roll to the side, pushed myself up from all fours, and finally managed to stand. I took a moment to briskly brush the blades of grass and dust from my exceedingly lavish waistcoat.
"Sorry to have worried you all. As you can see, I'm perfectly fine," I said.
"......"
When I offered them a reassuring smile, the entire group fell into a stunned silence, as though they had just witnessed a pig fly or a statue break into song. Their faces were a magnificent study in pure shock. I half-expected one of them to shout, "No, it can't be!"
I couldn't blame them, really. After all, I was a completely different person than the 'me' of just a few minutes ago.
* * *
Kraut von Weltheim---he was the villainous character from the world of 'Sword, Magic, and the Cadenas¹'. Yes, the infamous, idiotic older brother with a one hundred percent mortality rate.
Born as the heir to a Duke²'s house, he had been raised in the lap of luxury, spoiled until he was utterly rotten. His personality was that of a quintessential selfish brat, a pampered young lordling through and through.
He was a complete scoundrel who took immense pride in his lineage and looked down on anyone of lower status as if they were mud beneath his boots.
To be fair, his face wasn't actually half-bad. He had piercing blue eyes, a finely bridged nose, and beautiful silver hair kept in a neat, short trim.
Setting aside his wretched personality, his visuals alone might have made him popular... if it weren't for his immense, round physique. He was the sort of person whose every movement seemed to suggest he was about to burst out of his skin.
Furthermore, despite occupying the role of a mid-boss, his ability was pathetically low. On a bad day, he might even struggle in a fair fight against a Goblin³, the absolute weakest of monsters.
The only reason a fellow like this could remain a mid-boss was due to his exceptionally powerful subordinates. The buffs provided by money and authority really are something else, aren't they?
Of course, he always makes a permanent exit by the end of the story. Players hated him so much they dubbed him the "Scum Brother," the "Losing Dog," or even the "Promised Pig of Defeat." I felt no sympathy for him whatsoever; in fact, I understood their feelings perfectly.
And yet, this widely loathed Kraut was as much as I truly, deeply didn't want to admit it the person I had apparently been reincarnated as.
I wished with all my heart that this was just a dream, but I didn't even need to pinch my cheek to know the truth. My head was currently throbbing in real-time. My back and hips weren't feeling particularly jolly, either.
Speaking of which, this pain was the result of being thrown from a horse just moments ago.
Kraut had suddenly decided, "I shall show you all how gallantly I can command a steed," and climbed onto the horse's back, only for the animal to flatly refuse to move an inch. Enraged by the horse's stubbornness, Kraut had actually punched the poor creature in the head. It was the height of stupidity.
Well, it seemed the shock and pain of that tumble had triggered the return of my previous life's memories, though I honestly think I might have preferred to stay in the dark.
Usually, an otaku would be thrilled at the prospect of an isekai reincarnation, but finding myself in the shoes of my least favorite character made it impossible to celebrate. Why couldn't I have been the protagonist?
Currently, Kraut is nine years old. Perhaps because I lived more than twice that long in my previous life, my old personality feels far more dominant.
However, I still have all the memories of the nine years Kraut has spent on this earth... which means I remember every single one of the 'charming' little misdeeds I've committed! Oh, the horror!
You know that feeling when you remember a past embarrassing failure and want to writhe in shame?
This was like a high-grade version of that. Even though it had nothing to do with the 'old' me, the memories were etched into my mind as my own. Just kill me now!
Despite not having lived even half as long as my previous self, I felt as though I had already led a life full of nothing but disgrace. And since the original Kraut didn't possess a shred of remorse, my modern Japanese sensibilities were screaming in absolute agony.
Good grief... I haven't even been reincarnated for ten minutes and my spirit is already on the verge of breaking.
* * *
As I stared off into the distance with a look of profound melancholy, Sebastian the butler (a very cliché name, I know) seemed to reboot from his frozen state and spoke up hurriedly.
"Y-Young Master. Since there is a chance the blow to your head may have had some lingering effects, perhaps it would be wise to have a healer examine you, just to be safe."
Was he subtly implying that I'd gone a bit mad from the fall? He wasn't entirely wrong, I suppose. Also, I really wished he'd stop calling me "Young Master"; it was quite embarrassing for someone of my mental age.
Still, it was true that I'd hit my head, and various parts of me were aching, so I decided to follow the veteran butler's advice.
In this world, a healer is essentially the equivalent of a doctor. As one might expect from a world of swords and sorcery, medical treatment is primarily handled through magical means.
In other words, I was about to have my first experience with real magic! I felt a small spark of will to live flicker back into existence.
"You're right, let's have a look. ...Ah, but before that, I need to change my clothes," I said.
Even after my attempt at brushing them off, my clothes were still stained with mud and grass from the fall.
It would be quite improper to go about in such a state, and frankly, I'd much prefer something simpler than this needlessly gaudy outfit.
"Then I shall assist you with your change of attire. Please, follow me to your room," a voice said.
"Yeah, I'm count... eh?" Kraut asked.
I turned around to find a startlingly beautiful maid staring at me from right beside me. ...Wait, a beauty like this is going to help me get dressed? For real?
Summary:
Kraut von Weltheim regains memories of his past life as a Japanese man after falling off a horse. He realizes he has been reincarnated as a widely despised villain in a game world. Despite being the heir to a noble family, he is obese and has a terrible reputation. He decides to seek medical attention for his injuries, hoping to witness magic for the first time. The chapter ends with him realizing a beautiful maid will assist him in changing his clothes.
Character Insight:
Kraut's internal conflict stems from the clash between his mature, modern Japanese sensibilities and the shameful memories of the original nine-year-old Kraut. This juxtaposition creates a sense of self-loathing and urgency to change his fate. His reaction to the butler and maid shows a shift towards more polite and self-aware behavior, indicating the start of his redemption arc.
Behind the Scene:
The protagonist's moniker 'Excaliboor' is a play on King Arthur's sword Excalibur and the word 'boar' (or pig), highlighting the community's mockery of his weight and inevitable defeat.
T/L:
1 ↩ Sword, Magic, and the Cadenas: The fictional video game world the protagonist has been reincarnated into.
2 ↩ Duke: A high-ranking noble title, second only to the monarch.
3 ↩ Goblin: A common, low-level fantasy monster known for being weak and numerous.
Notes:
• Sebastian - An elderly butler serving the Weltheim household.
• Kraut - The eldest son of a Duke's family. He has blue eyes, a straight nose, and short silver hair. Despite his handsome facial features, he is notably obese. He was previously arrogant and selfish before regaining memories of a past life.