“Shen Yuan.”
Xu Anran stood by the sofa, his voice wavering for the first time.
He was still holding the medicine and congee in his hands. Rainwater from the plastic bag dripped onto the floor, but he didn’t seem to notice.
Shen Yuan was curled up on the sofa, her face buried in a pillow, her shoulders still trembling.
There was a row of teeth marks on the back of her hand.
Bitten deep.
Xu Anran stared at that ring of red marks, his chest feeling blocked by something.
Before he left, she was still telling him not to bother.
She even pushed the last dose of medicine to him.
He said she was sick.
But she was truly in pain.
Pain so bad she wouldn’t even call out to him.
Xu Anran’s Adam’s apple bobbed. He bent down to touch her shoulder.
“Shen Yuan.”
Shen Yuan heard someone calling her in a daze and slowly lifted her head.
Her vision was a little blurry.
She saw Xu Anran standing by the sofa.
His jacket was wet again, rainwater clinging to his hair, and he was holding a bag of medicine and hot congee.
Shen Yuan took a few seconds to react before slowly saying, “You’re back.”
Her voice was so soft it seemed about to fade away.
Xu Anran’s expression was grim.
“Get up. Take your medicine.”
Shen Yuan tried to sit up.
She didn’t make it.
Her stomach cramped, and she grabbed the edge of the sofa, cold sweat beading on her forehead again.
She felt a little embarrassed.
“Wait a moment.”
Xu Anran didn’t wait.
He set the things on the coffee table and bent down to help her up.
When his hand landed on her shoulder, Shen Yuan’s whole body stiffened.
Too close.
Close enough that she could smell the rain and night wind on him.
Close enough that she instinctively wanted to pull away.
She wasn’t the original Shen Yuan.
She shouldn’t take his closeness for granted anymore.
Xu Anran noticed her stiffness too.
His movement paused for a moment.
Then he eased back a little, only steadying her as she sat up.
“Don’t move.”
Shen Yuan kept her eyes down, her voice low.
“Thank you.”
Thank you again.
Xu Anran’s movements halted.
Those were the last two words he wanted to hear right now.
She never used to say thank you.
Back then, she demanded everything with confidence.
Made him pour water, made him buy food, made him keep her company, even made him lower his head.
But now, every time she said thank you, it was like a reminder that all that remained between them was politeness.
Xu Anran tore open the medicine box, sorted the pills according to the instructions, and poured hot water.
“Take it.”
Shen Yuan took the medicine.
Her hands were still shaking.
The pills nearly slipped out of her palm.
Xu Anran couldn’t stand to watch. He reached out and steadied the bottom of the cup.
Shen Yuan’s fingertips brushed against the back of his hand, and she immediately pulled back.
Xu Anran’s gaze darkened.
“Am I going to eat you?”
Shen Yuan was slow to react from the pain, and actually thought about it seriously.
“Probably not.”
Xu Anran: “…”
He was almost amused despite himself.
Even in this much pain, she could still annoy him with a straight face.
After Shen Yuan took the medicine, she leaned back on the sofa and rested for a long while.
The medicine didn’t kick in that fast.
Her stomach still ached in waves, just not as sharp as before.
Xu Anran poured out the hot congee.
It was still steaming.
He stirred it with a spoon and set it in front of her.
“Drink some.”
Shen Yuan glanced at it.
She didn’t take it right away.
Xu Anran frowned. “What now?”
Shen Yuan pressed her lips together.
“How much? I’ll transfer it to you.”
Xu Anran’s hand holding the spoon froze.
He looked up at her.
“What did you say?”
Shen Yuan knew it wasn’t the right thing to say.
But she said it anyway.
“How much for the medicine and congee? I’ll transfer it to you tomorrow.”
The room went silent.
The sound of rain against the window was clearly audible.
Xu Anran stared at her, the emotion in his eyes cooling bit by bit.
“Shen Yuan, are you really going to calculate even this little bit of money with me now?”
Shen Yuan lowered her eyes.
“I don’t want to owe you.”
“Don’t want to owe me?”
Xu Anran’s voice dropped, as if he’d heard something grating.
“What you owe me—can a few dozen yuan even begin to settle that?”
Shen Yuan’s fingertips curled slightly.
Of course it couldn’t be settled.
The lifesaver was a lie.
The feelings were tricked out of her.
The money was spent.
Her dignity had been trampled.
How could it ever be settled?
She stayed silent, offering no rebuttal.
Xu Anran looked at her pale face, and the anger in his chest refused to ignite.
He hated this feeling.
Hated that he was supposed to watch coldly from the sidelines, yet still softened at the sight of her trembling in pain.
Hated that even after she’d hurt him, he couldn’t bear to see her cut herself off so cleanly.
Before, when she clung to him, he was annoyed.
Now that she pulled away, he was annoyed too.
Like a breath stuck in his chest, unable to escape.
In the end, he pushed the congee toward her.
“Drink the congee.”
Shen Yuan didn’t insist any further.
She took the bowl and sipped it slowly.
The warm congee settled in her stomach, finally bringing a hint of comfort.
Xu Anran sat beside her, not leaving.
The rented room was small.
In the living room, only the soft clink of the spoon against the bowl could be heard.
Shen Yuan drank very slowly.
She didn’t dare drink too fast, afraid it would make her stomach feel worse.
Xu Anran watched her.
Before, when her stomach hurt, she would fuss.
She’d frown and call his name.
She’d complain the congee wasn’t hot enough, and that the medicine was too bitter.
Back then, he found it annoying.
But now, she said nothing.
She didn’t say it hurt.
She didn’t say she felt awful.
She didn’t ask him to stay.
She even counted the cost of medicine and congee.
This silence was harder to bear than all the noise from before.
After a long while, Shen Yuan spoke softly, “Thank you for today.”
Xu Anran closed his eyes.
Here it was again.
Thank you.
Transferring money.
Not wanting to owe him.
Every word she said was like snipping another thread between them.
Xu Anran suddenly asked, “Shen Yuan, why did you suddenly change?”