Several centuries ago.
“Hey, Ye Tang, do you know about the Five Treasures of Qingcang?” Lying by the stream with one leg crossed, the stunning youth had sparkling eyes that shone even brighter and more dazzling than the flowing spring water under the sunlight.
“The Five Treasures of Qingcang?” Ye Tang turned to look at the person beside him, furrowing his brow. “Those five legendary, peerlessly rare treasures from ancient times?”
In the vision, the youthful Ruan Yaibai smiled triumphantly, “That’s right. The five heavenly natural treasures, the Primordial Ice Crystal, the Dragon-Hiding Soul Jade, the Earth-Thunder of Yaoshan, the Fire-Bathing Nirvana Lotus, and the Poisonous Vine Thorn Shadow, are known as the Five Treasures of Qingcang. Any cultivator who obtains just one of them and practices diligently can achieve supreme cultivation techniques and astonish everyone around them.”
Ye Tang shook his head and said, “The Five Treasures of Qingcang are nothing more than illusory legends. Over the years, we’ve only heard their names whispered without a trace.”
Ruan Yaibai grew interested, “Who says they’re illusory! One of the five treasures, the Nirvana Lotus, grows right in Mengshan, except that it only manifests a single stalk every five hundred years, and one must be fated to pluck it. Otherwise, even if it is plucked, it instantly withers and goes to waste.”
Ye Tang fell silent for a moment, deep in thought.
Ruan Yaibai continued, “And, in the State of Baijing, there is an underground palace built entirely from cold ice jade. Rumor has it that the Primordial Ice Crystal forms its foundation. If suppose.”
Ye Tang finally couldn’t help interrupting, “You surely don’t want to gather all five of these supreme treasures, do you?”
Ruan Yaibai made no denial, “I indeed wish to gather the Five Treasures of Qingcang, though not to enhance my cultivation techniques, but to forge a divine artifact.”
“A divine artifact? You want to forge a divine artifact?”
Ruan Yaibai tilted his head, his eyes curving into smiles, “It’s probably an obsession I’ve had since I was little.”
Late at night.
Ruan Yaibai, still half-asleep and groggy halfway through the night, opened his eyes and immediately spotted the unchanging 0.48% on the progress bar. He blinked in some confusion, failing to understand why he had dreamed of events from a century ago.
Speaking of which, the Ye Tang back then wasn’t as gentle as he was now, and the two of them had even fought bitterly to the death over certain matters later on.
He turned his head and found that the Yaoguang Heavenly Lord version of Ye Tang was sitting right beside his bed. He had his eyes closed, breathing softly with his lips pressed together, looking so impeccably solemn even in sleep.
Thinking this fellow was just talking big earlier, he had actually accompanied and sat here with him for this long?
Ruan Yaibai didn’t get up either, lying on the couch to admire the person beside him.
He hadn’t noticed it before, but this fellow’s eyelashes were actually this long? His lip color was slightly translucent yet extremely pretty, and his skin texture was as smooth as jade.
After pondering for a moment, he suddenly reached out, intending to untie Ye Tang’s garments. Just as he groped toward the man’s waist, before he could touch the spot he wanted to reach, his hand was suddenly grabbed.
Ye Tang tightened his grip on his hand, abruptly opened his eyes, and looked down at him, “What are you doing?”
What am I doing?
Naturally, I want to do you to earn points! What else?!
However, seeing him ask like this, Ruan Yaibai perked right up. Proping himself up halfway, he leaned lazily and alluringly against Ye Tang’s lap, his voice carrying a hint of bewitching temptation, “You and I have been bound by a pact for days now, and here we are in the dead of night, sharing the same bed. What does Husband think I want to do?”
Ye Tang massaged his temples, appearing as though he didn’t wish to converse further with him, “Go back to sleep. I have matters to attend to.”
[System: Holy cow, the Heavenly Lord is leaving you to live as a widow, Host!!]
Ruan Yaibai: Heh, a real widow I’ve been before, but a living widow I certainly have not!
[System: Ao-ao, but the Heavenly Lord seems to keep rejecting you, what’s the break?]
Ruan Yaibai: Could it be.
[System: Could what?]
Realizing that Ye Tang was about to make a run for it, Ruan Yaibai grabbed his sleeve and asked a deeply worrisome question with a look of utter perplexity: “Old fellow Ye, you couldn’t possibly have been so fierce and valiant for a few days that you… became impotent, could you?”
Ye Tang: “…”
Ruan Yaibai: “?”
Remaining silent, does that mean I guessed right?
The Yaoguang Heavenly Lord is no good!
This man is un, no good!
Ahahaha, what an absolute humiliation, Ye Tang!
Ahem, ahem, I mustn’t laugh right now; that would wound his pride too badly, and I still need to rely on him to earn points!
So, striving to suppress his laughter, Ruan Yaibai patted Ye Tang’s shoulder and consoled him with a righteous and heroic expression: “We’re all men here, I understand. How about this, from now on, you stay on the bottom, and I’ll. Mm-mm.”
Strange, why couldn’t he make any sound?
Could it be.
Ruan Yaibai stared with wide eyes, looking in absolute shock at Ye Tang. This fellow had actually used a silencing spell?!
Damn it, just because I currently lack spiritual power, you’re bullying me, right?
However, thinking that Old Daddy can’t speak and therefore can’t get things done is underestimating me way too much!
Pressing his lips together, he sat up and grabbed the fleeing Ye Tang, pulling him down with a fierce tug so that the unsuspecting man, along with himself, tumbled backward onto the couch, before pinning him down completely!
Ye Tang was startled for a moment, presumably never expecting someone to pull such an outrageous stunt. Just as he tried to resist, Ruan Yaibai pinned his hands down. Realizing he couldn’t speak, the other simply abandoned further chatter and moved directly to force a kiss down upon him!
If soft tactics don’t work, go for the hard ones!
Ye Tang’s expression turned stern. Wrapping an arm around Ruan Yaibai’s waist, he rolled over on the couch, instantly reversing their positions so he was on top.
Ruan Yaibai: “…”
Oh ho?
Just as Ye Tang was about to say something, Ruan Yaibai didn’t give him the chance. Despite being pinned down, he still hooked one leg around the man’s body and, taking advantage of his distraction, reached out to untie Ye Tang’s clothes!
His movements flowed smoothly in one go. Just when he thought he was about to succeed, the immortal artifact Chijiang suddenly emerged from who-knows-what corner, grabbing his hands and feet to instantly bind him up tightly from head to toe like a zongzi!
[System (covering its face): Ah this this this. You guys look like you’re playing a very novel play.]
After tying Ruan Yaibai up, Ye Tang’s breathing seemed somewhat unsteady. He stood up unsteadily, took a few steps back, and left Ruan Yaibai stranded on the couch alone. Without sparing him another glance, he simply turned around and dropped a single sentence: “Once you fall asleep, Chijiang will untie itself.”
With those words, he turned and left the room without looking back.
[System (gazing at the retreating back of the Heavenly Lord): I can’t believe it. The Heavenly Lord actually dumped you and ran off. Ah this, could it really be as you guessed, Host?]
Then the system noticed Ruan Yaibai wasn’t responding to him.
[System: Host?]
Ruan Yaibai still didn’t pay him any mind.
The system was baffled. Granted, the Heavenly Lord used a silencing spell so he couldn’t speak out loud, but surely that wouldn’t stop mental telepathy and communication inside the mind as well!
So he hurried over in front of Ruan Yaibai, only to find that this fellow hadn’t made a single move this whole time, as if entering a sage mode, tied up like a mummy on the couch and remaining completely motionless. With that zoning-out expression, who knew what on earth he was thinking!
[System: Host, don’t scare me now. Even if the Heavenly Lord is really, um, you don’t need to take such a massive blow, do you?!]
Ruan Yaibai: Strange.
[System (wiping a sweat): Scared me to death, I thought you were so traumatized you couldn’t even speak anymore… What’s strange, what’s so strange about it?]
Ruan Yaibai: Just now when we got close, I accidentally brushed against it.
[System: Brushed against what?]
Ruan Yaibai: The crime-committing tool meant to earn me points.
[System: Ho…ly cow?]
Ruan Yaibai looked completely bewildered: He was already full of vigor and battle-ready. How on earth did he manage to hold back?
[System (shaking its head frantically): Ahhhhh, don’t be like this, Host, I don’t understand what you’re talking about!! I’m still an innocent and untainted little cutie.]
Ruan Yaibai answered his own question: It seems there’s only one answer.
[System (swallowing saliva): What, what is it?]
Ruan Yaibai: He got squeezed dry these past few days, so he’s scared now.
[System: …]
Ruan Yaibai nodded silently: We must find a way to help him nourish his body. At his age, he really isn’t doing so well anymore.
[System: …?]
Ruan Yaibai: What’s the use of having all appearance and no substance, right?
[System: Ah, right, right, right]
For some reason, it felt like the Host was digging a massive, enormous pit for himself?
He probably forgot that the Heavenly Lord was a divine entity capable of 188-fold multiplier actions!
Who was it that cried and screamed calling him a beast back then?!
The next day.
Chijiang proved true to Ye Tang’s words; the moment Ruan Yaibai fell asleep, it automatically unlocked. However, that scoundrel Ye Tang didn’t come back for the entire remainder of the night.
He really is terribly useless!
Early in the morning, Ruan Yaibai pushed open the door with a worried expression. Seeing the Xie brothers standing guard outside his room, his complexion turned gloomy and stifled as he let out a heavy sigh.
Xie Xun, who had been randomly drafted to pull night guard duty due to Ye Tang’s departure, yawned and spoke with extreme irritation, “What kind of lovers’ quarrel did you pick with the Exalted Lord last night to piss him off and make him run away, landing me and my brother with the job of guarding your door in the middle of the night!”
Ruan Yaibai shook his head, leaning against the door frame to remark with utmost lightness and detachment, “It’s your Exalted Lord who is no good; he got scared and ran away himself.”
“So, you two shouldn’t go too, far, hm?” Catching up to the words, Xie Xun blinked, “What did you just say?”
“Who is no good?!”
Watching Xie Xun’s face fill with an eager thirst for knowledge, Ruan Yaibai drawled slowly, “Your boss, Ye Tang. He’s no good.”
Hearing this declaration, Xie Xun’s expression instantly transformed from utter thirst for knowledge into blazing excitement and gossip. His bright, flickering eyes gleamed with glee as he said, “Demon, No, Your Holiness, tell me the details! How exactly is my boss no good? Hahahaha!”
Standing silently off to the side, Xie Jiaya tried to intervene: “A-Xun.”
Chided by his own brother, Xie Xun shrank back timidly for a second before scratching the back of his head with a chuckle, “Oh, come on, brother! Aren’t I just trying to understand the root cause of the matter so I can offer our Exalted Lord some advice and strategies? You know how it is, he’d never tell us these things himself, and it’s awkward for us to ask him directly!”
Xie Jiaya: “…”
Xie Xun shoved Xie Jiaya toward the front courtyard: “Alright, brother, go watch the outer yard! When we’re discussing serious business here, we can’t let that little brat Bai Ruogu barge in! Go guard the perimeter quickly!”
The consistently cold Xie Jiaya was shoved along by his younger brother, though lacking any retort, he ultimately obeyed quite obediently and went to keep watch at the door.
After returning, Xie Xun scammed a bag of five-spice sunflower seeds from somewhere, squatting down at the doorstep alongside Ruan Yaibai to start cracking them open.
“I’m telling you, this matter must absolutely never leak out!” Xie Xun cracked his seeds with utmost seriousness, “My lips are sealed, super-sealed! Keeping secrets is no problem at all. I swear on my life I’ll never let a third person find out about this!”
Ruan Yaibai replied unconcernedly, “It’s not like it’s a disgraceful secret. Look at how old he is; having a minor hidden ailment is completely normal.”
“That won’t do! If this word gets out, the very first unlucky victim will be our Boss Shang Xingyun!”
Ruan Yaibai paused in mild confusion, “What does this matter have to do with Shang Xingyun?”
Xie Xun explained with joyful glee, “Of course it does! Once word gets out, who’s going to be willing to buy his steamy romance novels anymore?! All those readers who used to obsess over them will be left with psychological trauma! Mild cases will drop his books, and severe cases will turn around and trash him!”
Ruan Yaibai grabbed a handful of seeds and nodded politely and rigorously, “That makes sense.”
“If you ask me, Your Holiness, you shouldn’t feel disappointed either. Look at our Exalted Lord’s physique, he shouldn’t be completely hopeless. Chances are he’s just been far too busy lately, leading to some bodily deficiency. Don’t you want to try some dietary therapy on him first?”
Ruan Yaibai chewed on a seed, “Dietary therapy?”
“Yeah! As the old saying goes, medicinal tonics can’t compare to food tonics!”
Ruan Yaibai stroked his chin, asking without any shame, “Then what kind of food nourishes that specific area?”
Xie Xun didn’t even stop to think before answering, “You’d have to ask Murong and Boss Shang; they’re quite accomplished in that field! If you’re asking me, I can at most tell you about eating whatever resembles what you want to fix, like slicing up a pair of giant pig kidneys to brew a pot of ginseng soup.”
With that, he clapped his hands together and stood up, “Just wait here, I’ll go fetch those two authorities right now to deliberate on this major undertaking!”
With those words, he sprinted off to fetch people without looking back, his entire face radiating a joyful and selfless urge to share.
[System: Holy cow, literally just a second ago, who was it that pointed at the heavens and swore up and down that they would never let a third person know about this?]