Having overfulfilled his workload, the Yaoguang Heavenly Lord was just preparing to go wash his hands and make soup for a certain someone, but was informed by a servant that the Demon Lord was currently commandeering his small kitchen.
Ye Tang was puzzled, “Is he that hungry?”
The servant was submissive, “Replying to the Heavenly Lord, it seems, it is not hunger either, it is just that His Holiness said, he said he wanted to personally cook and make a meal for you.”
Personally, cook for me?
Ye Tang’s face was full of disbelief.
This was completely different from how Xie Shuya had acted.
Judging by the current situation, he believed Xie Shuya more.
Even though he had not said anything.
Carrying his doubts, he rushed to the small kitchen at top speed, only to see a table full of bizarre dishes placed in front of the stove, along with Ruan Yaibai, who was triumphantly humming a tune and continuously sprinkling unknown seasonings into the pot.
For some unknown reason, he felt that everything was off everywhere, but he could not articulate the reason.
Looking at Ruan Yaibai’s joyful and brisk back, Ye Tang finally could not help but open his mouth to ask, “Is Ah-Ruan planning to, poison his own husband?”
Hearing the voice, Ruan Yaibai turned around, only to see Ye Tang still wearing a moon-white immortal robe standing at the doorway, looking as if he wanted to enter but was somewhat hesitant.
Although Ye Tang’s expression was currently twisted, his features were picturesque, his eyes were like stars, and even if his brows were fighting and tangled into a mountain, the sparkling sunlight spilling over him made it seem as if he were plated in a layer of gold, radiating boundless splendor,
As expected of the dream immortal lover for the young and old of the three realms!
Hiss, he was just a total mess of handsomeness.
After admiring him alone for a while, Ruan Yaibai greeted him with a smiling face, “What is Husband saying, I personally prepared so many good dishes for you, thinking of nourishing your body!”
“Nourish, the body?” Ye Tang glanced at that large pot of stewed soup on the stove.
The number one immortal lord of Lanquque Heaven, needs to, nourish his body?
What kind of logic is this?
Or rather, a new trick?
Ruan Yaibai walked over and hooked his arms around Ye Tang’s neck, tilting his head to look into his bright eyes, while his other hand improperly groped around the man’s body, “That is right, Husband is already working so hard during the day, logically speaking, Husband should be allowed to rest properly at night, but we are newlyweds, and there are many fresh things we have yet to try, should Husband not accompany me to taste them all one by one?”
Ye Tang’s body stiffened for a moment, only feeling that the person in front of him brought a bewitching fragrance so pleasant it made one dizzy, his one hand unconsciously rested on the other’s waist, and before he had time for the next movement, he heard a deafening shout coming from behind the stove,
“Ah ah ah ah ah, Ruan Yaibai, did you you you you forget!! We are all still squatting here acting as your assistants! To actually use such filthy words to publicly seduce our Exalted Lord! Do you have any shame left?!”
Xie Xun sat behind the stove, one hand resting there pulling the bellows, the other hand angrily slapping his own thigh, the stove’s flames were pulled by him until they crackled, shooting up high and fierce, and moreover, his fiery mania was visible to the naked eye!
His face was entirely blackened by the charcoal fire!
Ruan Yaibai glanced at the stove, his expression and tone showing heartfelt dissatisfaction, “This soup of mine, needs to be simmered over a slow fire, your fire is so big my soup is going to burn!”
“Your grand-uncle, I, the dignified Right Commanding Officer of Lanquque Heaven, am here starting a fire to make soup for you, and you are complaining about me?”
Just as his words were shouted out, Shang Xingyun, who was calmly trimming chives to the side, curled his lips in mockery, “So what if you are asked to start a fire, this Sovereign has never washed vegetables from childhood to adulthood, now my legs are numb from squatting to trim chives, and mashing garlic has irritated my face into tears, have I cried out about being tired even once?”
Murong Yan, who was carefully slicing pork kidneys into thin, patterned cuts slice by slice on the cutting board, looked up at the two, coughed lightly and said, “Let us just say that since entering the immortal registry, is this not the first time for everyone, do you guys think these kidney slices of mine look pretty good?”
“Mm, this patterned cutting skill is indeed passable.”
Ye Tang snapped back to reality, only then realizing that this place had miraculously gathered a full table of people, why had his eyes only seen Ah-Ruan just now?
“What are you,”
The scene before him, he found somewhat difficult to digest.
But Ah-Ruan seemed to truly be making food for him?
“Do you still feel that I am poisoning my own husband?” Ruan Yaibai smiled playfully, one hand holding Ye Tang’s profile to pull back his gaze, that appearance, was so sincere it made one succumb.
Ye Tang’s originally suspicious gaze finally let go of its grudges and softened, his fingers sliding past Ruan Yaibai’s temples, tilting his head slightly and speaking softly, “Ah-Ruan does not need to toil like this, I have been alone these years, and have long since grown accustomed to fasting from grain,”
Ruan Yaibai pulled Ye Tang’s hand over, speaking with special earnestness, “How can that be the same, if you nourish yourself now, both of us will be happy!”
Ye Tang’s hand paused in mid-air, “Hm?”
Ruan Yaibai brought Ye Tang to the front of the stove with extreme pride, ignoring the heat as he lifted the pot lid, “Look, the all-nourishing black wolfberry and bull penis stew, one mouthful of this tonic soup, and your spirit will be exceptionally invigorated!”
Ye Tang’s expression solidified, he stared straight at the bizarre ingredient rolling in the soup pot, “Bull, penis?”
“That is right, the principle of eating what resembles what needs nourishing works perfectly every time!”
Without waiting for Ye Tang to react, Ruan Yaibai pulled him in front of Murong Yan again, pointing at the fresh large pig kidneys that had been carved and were just about to be marinated with ingredients, “This will be stir-fried pig kidneys later, focusing on a crisp and tender texture, after eating this your waist strength will absolutely be robust, and your kidneys will not be deficient!”
Waist strength robust, kidneys not deficient?
This person, does he even know what he is saying?
“There are also grilled oysters, grilled chives, grilled lamb chops, grilled garlic, you can rest assured, I have researched it, although these are merely mundane items, after eating them, reviving your masculine majesty will absolutely not be a problem!”
Ruan Yaibai pledged in all seriousness.
The three people beside him cooperated by nodding vigorously in a flurry.
The atmosphere at the scene was both bizarre and harmonious.
“The Immortal Lord does not need to thank me too much, since we have formed a pact together, these are all things I ought to do.” He chuckled and originally wanted to make a heart gesture at the man, but fearing the other would not understand even if he did it, he simply blinked and said directly, “Love you!”
Ye Tang was expressionless.
At this very moment, he suddenly remembered Xie Shuya’s unspeakable appearance from earlier.
However, at this moment, he had probably gone beyond anger.
In his towering rage, disregarding the gazes of others, he hoisted Ruan Yaibai, who was still ceaselessly narrating certain special effects, onto his shoulder, instantly taking him to switch scenes and return to Moonfall and Crying Crow!
The three people who were still in place acting as assistants for Ruan Yaibai looked at each other.
Xie Xun stood up and looked left and right, “Where are the two of them?”
Murong Yan put down the kitchen knife and untied his apron, “If you still cannot understand this, of course he was dragged back to the room for a friendly spar, did you not see how quickly our Exalted Lord’s complexion changed, it was extremely spectacular, Old Shang, are we still following?”
Shang Xingyun, who could not wait any longer and had already taken out a golden leaf to keep at his side, had eyes full of excitement, “Of course we follow, His Holiness gave us the golden leaves to let us spectate, I have been earnestly anticipating this kind of beautiful event for over a hundred years! Thinking of how I have written these books for so long, today I can finally witness the driving skills of the millennial old widower!”
Murong Yan glanced at the golden leaf in Shang Xingyun’s hand, “But do you think the Demon Lord’s ‘A Leaf Obscuring the Eyes’ is really effective on our Exalted Lord? What if the two of us go in carrying the golden leaves and are seen through by the Exalted Lord, that consequence would be unimaginable!”
“How will we know if it works or not without trying, hurry up, His Holiness said it himself, this thing has a time limit! Once the golden color fades, it will be hard to avoid taking a beating!”
“Oh my, wait for me to wash my hands, coming right away!”
Xie Xun, off to the side, said unhappily, “This is too unfair, it was clearly me who brought you guys here, and in the end this demon did not give me a golden leaf, but only gave them to you two! The Heavenly Dao is unjust!”
Shang Xingyun rolled up his sleeves, presenting the complete face of an elegant scumbag, “Do you have a problem? If you have a problem, come and fight?”
Xie Xun, “Fight then fight!”
Shang Xingyun rolled down his sleeves, “I forgot I am an intellectual, I do not fight.”
Murong Yan, coming out after washing his hands, “Alright, Old Shang, let us go quickly, if the Exalted Lord is truly no good, perhaps it will end right at this moment.”
As expected of the walking strategist of Lanquque Heaven, that makes so much sense!
Shang Xingyun took large strides away without looking back, and seeing that both of them were about to leave, Xie Xun shouted loudly, “No wait, if you both leave, what about all these dishes?”
“What else can be done, of course you are responsible for finishing them! Going to the human realm to get ingredients was not easy alright, wasting food is shameful, it will deduct your merit points!”
“How can I eat so much,” The figures of the two disappeared in an instant, and Xie Xun scratched his head, “Forget it, I had better call my brother over to solve the problem.”
Going back to half a day prior.
Ruan Yaibai, having been yelled “Yes” at by the three great masterminds, looked at the twisted roots of the potted plants in the bedchamber, and suddenly had a flash of inspiration as he asked, System, can I use A Leaf Obscuring the Eyes right now?
[System: What do you mean, Host, do you actually plan to let them watch a live broadcast?]
Ruan Yaibai: Let me tell you, when a man is suddenly no good, it could be for physiological reasons, or it could be for psychological reasons. Relying on me alone cannot research the cause of the illness, so is it not better to have a few more people observe and help come up with ideas? There is strength in numbers, three Zhuge Liangs can match a single cobbler!
[System: Uh, why does that sound strange]
Ruan Yaibai: What are you hesitating for, I only have 0.48 percent, if I die again where will you find such a wise host? Just tell me if there is a way to make Ye Tang fall for A Leaf Obscuring the Eyes!
[System: Wow wow wow, Host, you say it lightly, the other party is the Yaoguang Heavenly Lord, how could it be so easy for him to fall for A Leaf Obscuring the Eyes?!]
Ruan Yaibai: I do not want what you feel,
[System: ,]
[System (twiddling fingers): Actually, if it is only restricted to inside this room, perhaps it is also possible,]
Ruan Yaibai’s eyes lit up.
[System: Consuming 0.2 percent of your spiritual power can create one golden leaf, and the possessor of the golden leaf can realize the skill of A Leaf Obscuring the Eyes against the Heavenly Lord within a limited time and limited location, in layman’s terms, that means becoming invisible and unseen to him]
Ruan Yaibai smiled brightly: Good good good, that means it must be in this restricted location of Ye Tang’s bedchamber right, then how long can this invisibility state be maintained?
[System: As long as the golden leaf begins to fade, it means the skill will immediately become invalid]
Ruan Yaibai: Alright then, 0.48 percent means I can make a maximum of two golden leaves, leaving 0.08 percent to act as my safety net so I do not die!
[System: But how will the three of them divide two golden leaves?]
Ruan Yaibai: Is this not simple, just kicking one out will do.
[System: Kick which one?]
Ruan Yaibai pursed his lips into a smile: Heh, I will let you witness what is called the profound justice of the Heavenly Dao!
[System: Oh?]
Ruan Yaibai: Eeny meeny miny moe, whichever one it lands on is the chosen one, alright, we will just kick Xie Xun.
[System: ???]
Exactly whose Heavenly Dao is this perfunctory?!
What the heck is eeny meeny miny moe!
Host, are you an elementary school student?!
Do I absolutely have to voice out this complaint?!