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The Wife I Picked Up Can’t Possibly Be the World-Ending Witch

Chapter 9 / 88

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Chapter 9 of 88

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Chapter 9: Gourmet Beasts on the Tip of the Tongue

The Wife I Picked Up Can’t Possibly Be the World-Ending Witch

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Deep within the forest, the once-imperious Phosphor-Fire Brown Bear now lay dead silent on the ground, resembling a collapsed hill.

Lynch pulled his finger back. Though he forced a calm expression on his face, his heart was still pounding wildly in his chest.

Good heavens, this was a Tier 3 magical beast...Full novel: The Wife I Picked Up Can’t Possibly Be the World-Ending Witch — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠

He clicked his tongue in sheer disbelief. The brown bears he had seen at the zoo in his past life were practically teddy bears compared to this monstrosity. Its sheer size, its massive claws, and its bristly coat still emitting wisps of smoke, everything about it screamed the terrifying presence of a true forest overlord.

Once he confirmed the beast was dead as a doornail, Lynch's occupational habits as an apothecary and a half-baked doctor kicked in.

"Tsk, tsk. What a waste."

Lynch circled the bear's carcass twice and shook his head. "Such a massive slab of meat. It would be an absolute crime to just leave it in the mountains to rot. The pelt is in great condition too; it would fetch a hefty sum if I skin it, or I could make a rug or a thick winter coat for Felsy. Oh, and the bear gallbladder! That's a premium medicinal ingredient for clearing heat and detoxifying..."

But of course, the most important part was...

Lynch's gaze locked onto those four thick, meaty bear paws.

"These are legendary, top-tier ingredients!" Lynch swallowed hard. "In my past life, I could only watch other people eat them on TV, but now I actually have the chance to taste them myself. Felsy's constitution is weak, so she could really use a highly nourishing tonic like this."

Without further ado, he got to work.

Lynch drew the small skinning knife he used for herb-gathering from his waist and skillfully twirled it in his hand.

"Kuma, stop spacing out," Lynch called out to the little girl who was standing off to the side like a wooden post. "Come give me a hand. I can't roll this big guy over by myself."

At that very moment, Kuma was still in a daze, her entire worldview having just been shattered and rebuilt.

Hearing Lynch's call, she jolted, and her drooping animal ears instantly perked straight up.

What was he going to do?

Kuma stared warily at the blade in Lynch's hand.

He had already killed the bear with a single strike, completely extinguishing its soul fire. Could it be... was he going to perform some sort of profane ritual on the corpse to terrorize the other creatures of this forest?

How brutal! How ruthless! Was this how the strong established their dominance?

Kuma gulped and stepped forward with trembling legs.

"Lift its leg up," Lynch instructed.

Not daring to disobey, Kuma activated an enhancement spell and effortlessly hoisted the heavy bear leg into the air.

Then, she witnessed a scene that made her scalp tingle with fear.

The thoroughly ordinary small knife in Lynch's hand seemed to come alive as it danced across the bear's corpse. His movements were as smooth as flowing water, without the slightest hesitation. Every stroke of the blade precisely severed the connections between muscle and bone, bypassing the hard skeletal structure to separate flesh from hide perfectly along the grain.

Dissection!

This was an incredibly profound mastery of biological anatomy!

Kuma watched, her heart pounding in terror.

This man understood the physical structure of living beings so thoroughly! He knew the path of every single blood vessel and the weak point of every muscle. In his eyes, any powerful creature was probably nothing more than a pile of parts waiting to be dismantled!

If that knife were used on me...

Kuma felt a chill run down her neck, and her tail involuntarily tucked between her legs.

In reality, however, it was just a standard technique for butchering ingredients.

Lynch had picked it up from the village hunters when he was bored with nothing else to do.

"Alright, all four bear paws are good to go!"

In less than half an hour, a sweat-drenched Lynch had finished the butchering. He had harvested the most valuable parts, the bear paws, the gallbladder, and the intact pelt. There was far too much meat left over to carry, so he reluctantly settled for carving out only the most tender cuts of the tenderloin.

"Phew... I'm exhausted."

Lynch wiped the sweat from his brow and glanced up at the sky.

"Since we're done here, let's take a break and grab a bite to eat before we continue gathering herbs."

Between the sudden fright from earlier and the intense physical labor, Lynch felt his stomach beginning to protest.

He cleared a small patch of ground in a sheltered spot away from the wind and skillfully built a campfire. Rummaging through his herb basket, he pulled out a portable iron pot, outdoor cooking gear was an absolute must for an apothecary who valued his quality of life, and fetched some water from a nearby stream.

"We're in for a real treat today."

Lynch said as he diced the freshly harvested bear meat into bite-sized chunks.

From his herb basket, which seemed more like a magical bottomless chest, he pulled out an array of small bottles and jars.

"Here is some rosemary to remove the gamey smell and enhance the flavor."

"Some black pepper to add layers to the taste."

"And this is my special spice blend. It has a tiny trace of magical herbs mixed in to make the meat extra tender."

Sizzle...

The moment the bear meat hit the hot pan, the sizzling fat released an overwhelmingly rich, savory aroma that instantly exploded into the air, carried through the forest by the mountain breeze.

It was the magic known as the Maillard reaction. For this alternate world, where people still survived on boiled vegetables and rock-hard bread, this level of culinary art was an absolute dimensional strike.

Grumble.

An untimely sound broke the silence.

Kuma clutched her stomach, her face flushing beet red.

Even though she was an elite of the Scorched Earth Guard, and even though she had just been imagining how terrifying Lynch was... this smelled way too good! It smelled so incredible that her primal beastly instincts sent her salivary glands into overdrive.

"Hungry, aren't you?"

Lynch smiled and handed her a skewer of roasted meat, glistening with oil and cooked to a perfect golden brown. "Here, try my cooking. This is Tier 3 magical beast meat. It's incredibly nourishing."

Kuma reached out with a trembling hand and accepted the skewer, which radiated a fatal temptation.

Was this... a bestowal?

He was inviting her to share in his spoils of war?

In the ancient traditions of the Demon Race, devouring the flesh and blood of a mighty foe meant absorbing their power. It was the highest ritual of a conqueror. By letting her eat it, did this mean... he was accepting her as his vassal?

Kuma took a deep breath and, with a sense of profound reverence, carefully took a bite.

Boom!

In that instant, Kuma felt as if her taste buds had been struck by a high-tier lightning spell.

The crispy exterior giving way to a tender inside, the sheer satisfaction of savory fats bursting across her tongue, and the perfectly balanced kick of the spices...

Sho good!

It is actually sho good!

Kuma's eyes shot wide open. Her normally slit-like pupils instantly dilated into massive, adorable saucers, and her tail began to wag so uncontrollably it spun like a propeller.

But it wasn't just the taste.

As the chunk of meat slid down into her stomach, a surge of warmth rapidly spread through her limbs and bones. It was the pure magical energy contained within the Tier 3 beast's flesh. Through Lynch's unique cooking techniques, which was actually just him adding a few herbs, the wild energy had become gentle and incredibly easy to absorb.

This was alchemy!

Kuma screamed internally.

He could actually refine the violent flesh of a magical beast into a mouth-watering, top-tier medicinal meal that directly increased one's magical power! This wasn't cooking at all; this was clearly the brewing of a high-tier magical potion!

"Mmmph... so delicious..."

Throwing any semblance of an elite agent's restraint out the window, Kuma wolfed down the entire skewer and stared longingly at the pot.

"Slow down, there's plenty more," Lynch said, flashing a warm, fatherly smile. "Look at how starving you are. You're a growing kid, so eat up."

The impromptu picnic ended up being thoroughly enjoyed by both host and guest alike.

Lynch felt that the five silver coins were money well spent. Even though the little girl hadn't been of any help in the fight (at least in his eyes), she was an incredibly enthusiastic eater, and she could also help out with the heavy lifting.

With their bellies full, the two resumed their original task.

Thanks to the "roasted meat camaraderie" they had just forged, coupled with Kuma being "utterly convinced" of Lynch's strength, the subsequent herb-gathering process went unbelievably smoothly.

Whenever Lynch pointed to an herb, Kuma would rush over like a gust of wind. Using the same hands that could split ironwood, she would carefully dig it out, keeping even the delicate roots perfectly intact.

"Boss, is this purple-leaf herb also what you want?"

"Boss, there's a beehive over there. Do you want me to go scoop out the honey?"

"Boss, a venomous snake tried to sneak attack you, but I've already crushed it to death... oh wait, I mean, chased it away!"

Watching her energetic back as she bounded through the forest, Lynch couldn't help but marvel:

"What a capable and good kid. It seems the beast-eared race truly are the natural children of the forest."

In Kuma's mind, however, the narrative was completely different:

This herb... looks perfectly ordinary, but since the Lord specifically wants it, it must be highly toxic or a material for some kind of forbidden spell!

That beehive... could it be that the Lord wants to build an army out of mutated killer bees?

That venomous snake... hmph, a mere reptile dares to approach the Lord? This Pillar will send you straight to the Demon God!

Just like that, with the tacit cooperation of two people operating on entirely different wavelengths, the two massive herb baskets were stuffed to the brim by the time the sun began to set.

Lynch carried a full load of herbs on his back, holding the precious bear paws and pelt in his hands.

Kuma carried her still-bulging mailbag on her back, an unfinished meat bone still dangling from her mouth.

"Let's head home!"

Lynch waved his hand grandly, in excellent spirits.

This trip into the mountains had not only yielded a new skill and plenty of herbs, but also an unexpected haul of top-tier wild game.

It was an absolute win.

Full novel: The Wife I Picked Up Can’t Possibly Be the World-Ending Witch — read the rest free on N​o⁠v​e⁠l​C⁠o​d⁠e​x⁠.​o⁠r​g⁠
📱NovelCodex for AndroidYour library, progress and tokens, in an app made for reading on your phone.Get the app
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