Shu Juan was in fine spirits today, and especially warm toward Gu Youning. As the two walked and chatted, Gu Youning found herself recounting all the recent happenings at home, naturally including her night duty from the evening before.
Listening, Shu Juan sighed. "The rain was so heavy last night. You suffered, sister."
"It was nothing," Gu Youning said. "It's my duty anyway. Besides, I had a sip of hot tea to warm myself, and I feel much better now."
As they talked, Shu Juan led Gu Youning up the steps and into the study. Facing them was a large rosewood desk, on which lay a half-unrolled old calligraphy model and several volumes of thread-bound books. To the right stood a floor-to-ceiling bookcase of polished nanmu wood, packed full from top to bottom. At a glance, everything was either classics, histories, philosophies, or literary collections, or else copybooks and painting albums, all wrapped in dark blue cloth cases and arranged in perfect order.
Mindful of her own station, Gu Youning felt humbled upon entering such a place, and said, "Miss Shu Juan, a treasured place like this was never meant for someone like me. I'm afraid my clumsy hands might sully such an elegant room, and if Her Highness found out, it would only stir up trouble and blame."
But Shu Juan took her arm with a smile and gently urged, "What are you saying, Sister Gu? I've served in the Yijin Study for years now. We're such good friends—inviting you to sit a while and have something warm to eat is hardly a big matter. Come, try it and see if it suits your taste."
Gu Youning felt that Shu Juan's smile was so warm it seemed, for a moment, like one of those seductive spirits from operas. But the thought passed in an instant. She needed a favor from the woman and hoped to befriend her, so she naturally went along, picking up the small lidded bowl.
When she lifted the lid, a fresh, sweet fragrance wafted up. Looking closely, she saw it was a bowl of soft, tender congee with lotus seeds and lily bulbs, glistening and smooth.
She took a puzzled sip. It was warm and mild. "What is this, dear sister?" she asked. "It tastes wonderful to me."
"I couldn't say," Shu Juan replied. "It's just the standard fare of the study—something different every day. I've never paid much attention."
Gu Youning marveled inwardly, thinking how fortunate the book attendants of this study must be.
The two each finished a small lidded bowl, and Gu Youning felt a pleasant warmth spread through her chest and belly; her drowsiness faded somewhat.
Now feeling more refreshed, she followed Shu Juan on a tour of the study's curio shelves. Gu Youning saw that a few ancient inkstones and small bronze tripods were scattered across them, along with two pots of asparagus ferns, their branches green and leaves glossy, sparse and graceful, lending the room an added touch of scholarly refinement.
Truly a delight to the heart and mind.
As she looked around, Gu Youning couldn't help but sigh inwardly—compared to her vexing in-laws and sister-in-law, this place was truly a paradise!
Just then, Shu Juan walked over to a bookshelf and stood on tiptoe, searching through it, until at last she pulled out a book and held it out to her. "Sister, look—is this the book you asked me to find?"
Gu Youning hurriedly examined it. It was an old-printed volume, small in format, bound in silk cloth with a subtle woven pattern. The cover had faded to a pale ochre, and the corners were worn soft. Across it ran a line of characters.
Gu Youning made out the words: Newly Compiled Essentials of the Various Scholars.
Overjoyed, she looked at Shu Juan in disbelief. "Miss Shu Juan, this book—"
Shu Juan sighed. "Sister Gu, if this book were mine, I would certainly lend it to you, but this book belongs to the prince's residence collection, and I really shouldn't lend it out so freely. I hope you'll forgive me."
Gu Youning was bitterly disappointed. "Then—then what am I to do?"
Shu Juan said, "I was thinking, if you're willing, you could come to my study and copy it by hand. Just copy a little each day and take it home."
Copy it myself?
Gu Youning said awkwardly, "Might I let my younger brother come and copy it instead?"
As soon as she said it, she felt her request was unreasonable. Sure enough, Shu Juan looked at her with an awkward, helpless expression.
She quickly added, "Never mind then, I'll copy it myself."
It was just that she could barely read a few characters. Though she could manage to write, her handwriting was far too childish, and someone who seldom put brush to paper wrote stiffly and slowly. She feared her copying would be slow as well.
Shu Juan gently consoled her. "There's no hurry about this, Sister. You surely know that this book is a rare sole surviving copy—ordinary people would find it difficult even to glimpse it once. That you can now see it and slowly copy it down is already a tremendous stroke of fortune. And if you copy it out for your younger brother to study at home, that is itself an act of devotion that is sure to comfort him."
Gu Youning thought about it—it was true. Before, she had searched everywhere and rarely seen the book. Now she had the chance to copy it. However stiff and clumsy her writing, if she copied one page a day and brought it home for her brother, it would surely be of some help.
Who knows—perhaps because of this, her brother's learning might improve greatly, and one day he could become a village schoolteacher!
She grew enthusiastic and was no longer sleepy. She immediately asked whether she could start copying, but to her surprise, Shu Juan took the book from her hands, saying there was no rush—there was plenty of time ahead.
Gu Youning itched with impatience, but had to force down her eagerness. Afraid that Shu Juan might change her mind later, she confirmed the arrangement once more before going home to rest.
That day, Gu Youning slept at home to make up for the lost rest. She paid no mind to Sun Yue's nitpicking, ignored whatever Sun Feng'an's Mother droned on about, and even brushed off Sun Feng'an when he came over to be affectionate. Her whole heart was fixed on that book. So as soon as she finished her midday meal, she hurried to the residence, intending to start copying.
Shu Juan was there as expected, and welcomed her into the side chamber, where she saw a soft daybed of mottled bamboo, spread with a moon-white silk cushion. Beside it stood a curio shelf holding a small potted sweet flag and a petite Ru-ware incense holder, from which wisps of blue smoke curled upward. The fragrance was mild and clear—not heavy or sharp—and very pleasant.
Then a maidservant brought in a tray bearing two covered bowls, white with blue floral patterns.
Shu Juan said, "I don't know what soup and snacks they've made today, Sister. Have some with me."
Gu Youning tried to decline, but could not refuse, and so tasted it with her. This time it was angelica and astragalus black chicken soup—clear, sweet, and mellow, with the chicken stewed so tender it fell off the bone.
Gu Youning felt embarrassed. "This black chicken soup must have simmered for quite a while. I'm really getting quite the bargain."
Never mind the black chicken or the medicinal herbs—the effort alone, who knows how long it had been simmering.
In Gu Youning's eyes, this was food for the noble. Her mother worked in the kitchen every day—even if she occasionally happened upon such a thing, she might get a sip of the dregs from the bottom of the pot, but never such a fine portion.
Shu Juan smiled. "Sister, I'm just a simple person—I don't know anything about how it's stewed. I only thought that since there are two bowls, you might as well have some. Talking about bargains is treating me like a stranger."
Gu Youning could only acquiesce, saying with shame, "You're right, sister."
As the two chatted, they soon got down to business. Shu Juan brought out the book and asked Gu Youning to copy it right there in the study. "There's just one thing—the study has other maidservants as well. I've already spoken to them, so they naturally won't say anything. But if you happen to go out and about and someone else sees you—sister, you know how it is. The prince's residence is full of gossipy mouths, and there's bound to be idle talk. I'm afraid that would only make things worse."
Gu Youning was endlessly grateful and naturally dared not cause Shu Juan any trouble. She agreed repeatedly, promising to stay quietly in the room copying and to never wander about.
Shu Juan then fetched her brush, ink, paper, and inkstone, explained everything to her in detail, and went out to attend to her duties. Gu Youning carefully opened the ancient book, smoothed it flat, and picked up the brush to begin copying with great care.
Someone who hadn't held a brush in years was bound to be clumsy when suddenly asked to write. The brush refused to obey her, and the characters came out crooked and shapeless. But she figured that as long as the words were recognizable, it would do. She would copy a bit today and take it back to show her brother. If this really was the right book, she would keep at it.
She managed to copy about a page before her wrist ached with fatigue. Seeing that it was time for her shift, she hurried off to change. That night was naturally a restless one, and the moment her shift ended the next day, she went straight to her family home and showed the copied pages to Gu Yueqiu. When he saw them, he was beside himself with excitement, as if he'd found a priceless treasure, and asked where she had gotten it. She gave him a vague account of the matter and said she would continue copying for him the next day.
Gu Yueqiu was somewhat skeptical, though. "Is that maidservant really so kind? For no reason at all? Doesn't that seem a bit suspicious?"
Truthfully, Gu Youning also felt Shu Juan was being a bit too warm, but she instinctively came up with an explanation. "I think Miss Shu Juan is simply a warm-hearted person. Besides, I gave her some mulberries, and having accepted the gesture, she wanted to return the favor."
Gu Yueqiu said, "If she's a maidservant of the Yijin Study, then she holds the status of a female clerk, not a household-born slave of the residence. She must have a family outside. And if she has family outside, who knows what entanglements there might be. Be careful in everything you do."
A female clerk served at the court's behest, holding a proper government post. Though in this world a woman's prospects could never match a man's, if fortune smiled on her, she might hope to be promoted to the Imperial Academy, managing the texts and coursework of the women's school—a respectable path, one that household slaves of a prince's residence like them could never hope for.
Or rather, at the root of it, from the moment of birth, they simply weren't the same kind of people.
Seeing the youthful innocence still lingering on his face even as he worried so gravely, Gu Youning couldn't help but laugh. She pinched his cheek. "You're just a child—worry less about these things. I understand the ways of the world far better than you do!"
That said, because of Gu Yueqiu's words, Gu Youning did grow a bit more cautious. She quietly probed Shu Juan with her words to see what her true intentions were, but after several attempts, she couldn't detect the slightest ulterior motive.
Every time Shu Juan brought her in to copy, she never said a single unnecessary word, only telling her to sit quietly and transcribe. Occasionally, when other female clerks were present, Shu Juan would introduce Gu Youning to them, and they all got along quite amicably. And whenever there was soup or food in the study, no matter how many times Gu Youning politely declined, Shu Juan would always set aside a share for her.
This made Gu Youning feel guilty, and she felt she had been judging a virtuous heart with a petty mind, so she let go of her earlier unease. As they chatted in the mornings and evenings, Gu Youning gradually learned that Shu Juan's father did not hold a high official position, but their family was a scholarly one. Steeped in family learning, Shu Juan had learned to read and write at a young age, and at fourteen or fifteen, after layers of selection, she finally entered the Imperial Book Academy as a lady attendant, and was then assigned to Prince Duan's residence to manage all the literary affairs of the Yijin Study.
She had a gentle, compliant temperament and handled matters meticulously and thoroughly. Her days consisted of nothing more than organizing scrolls, copying and classifying texts, and she paid no heed to other trivial affairs.
This filled Gu Youning with admiration. She liked Miss Shu Juan, and she liked this Yijin Study too.
The windows here had fine wooden latticework, covered with clean white paper. Morning sunlight streamed through, filling the room with bright, soft light. The women working in the study were all simply and elegantly dressed, with serene expressions.
Surrounded by the fragrance of paper and ink, Gu Youning felt her heart grow calm and peaceful. She knew that for a servant like her to enter such a quiet, tranquil place, and to copy classics with her clumsy handwriting, was a blessing earned over several lifetimes.
At times like these, she couldn't help thinking about the rest of her life.
She would have a child with Sun Feng'an—or perhaps two or three. She would toil day and night over household matters, circling the stove and hearth. Cooking smoke and drudgery would surely roughen her slender fingers, and trivial daily matters would slowly wear away her youthful looks.
When she grew old, she would become that coarse old crone others spoke of. But perhaps one day, sitting in the sun with her hands tucked in her sleeves, warming herself, she might recall those days when she too had sat in a prince's study, copying rare ancient books that ordinary families seldom laid eyes on.
Because of this love, she grew less attentive to all the trivial chores at home. No matter how they nagged at her, she paid them no mind, and whenever she had a spare moment she would run over here, absorbed in copying books.
Sometimes she even felt that she wasn't copying just for Gu Yueqiu's sake—perhaps she herself enjoyed it too.
She could pretend that she was also a lady like Shu Juan, born into a scholarly family, well-read in poetry and books, with an enviable future ahead of her—and one day naturally find a kindred spirit for a husband.
—Not a mother-in-law like Sun Feng'an's Mother, nor a sister-in-law like Sun Yue.
When Liu Kanyuan pushed open the door of the Yijin Study, his movements paused for a moment.
They say a gentleman does not tread crooked paths, nor take advantage of dark rooms. But Liu Kanyuan felt he had been patient enough.
If he wanted something—never mind the wife of a mere Sun Feng'an, even ten of her, he would have her.
Yet he had not used his power to bully and seize her by force. He had only proceeded slowly and steadily, trying to settle the matter in a gentler way.
So after a brief pause, he pushed the door open after all and stepped into the room.
The lady attendants in the study had naturally already withdrawn, and the vast study stood empty. He walked silently into the inner chamber.
At this moment, Gu Youning, weary from a whole morning of copying, had fallen asleep with her head resting on the desk.
Liu Kanyuan lightened his footsteps and walked to the desk.
The morning sun streamed through the fine plain gauze into the room, falling upon her tranquil face, so that her features were bathed in a pale pink morning glow.
He gazed at her intently, watching her long lashes drift downward like a butterfly resting on a flower. In that moment, the whole world seemed to fall silent around her—so quiet he could hear his every breath.
He had seen sunrises over seas of clouds, flowers blooming and falling, all the splendor and beauty the world had to offer. He was no green boy lacking in experience. And yet now, he was looking at her.
He was watching a woman's sleeping face, and he couldn't tear his eyes away.
He couldn't quite explain why. He even thought to himself that, in terms of looks, she was hardly some peerless beauty rare under heaven.
So why could she stir his heart like this? Was it because of that night?
Amid a subtle mix of disdain and inner struggle, he couldn't help himself—he tentatively extended a finger.
In the pale daylight, his finger came down on her cheek and gave it a light poke.
Her skin was porcelain-white and translucent. The moment his fingertip touched it, a faint pink mark appeared there, stirring an ache of tenderness.
But he wanted to poke her again…
Liu Kanyuan watched in silence, his fingertip brushing slowly across her cheek.
But just then, she seemed to sense something. She stirred, letting out a soft murmur.
Liu Kanyuan held his breath, watching her without moving a muscle.
If she woke, what would she say?
But she just mumbled something, found a more comfortable position, and went right back to sleeping sweetly where she lay.
She didn't wake.
Liu Kanyuan's finger hung in the air, his heart unable to decide whether it felt disappointment or relief.
Because he had shifted his position, her raven-black hair had come slightly loose, baring the skin of her neck—delicate, snow-white skin tinged with the faintest pink, the pale blue of her veins clearly visible beneath, looking terribly fragile.
As if she would shatter if he pressed just a little harder.
He gazed at her quietly, and to his own surprise, a thread of confusion rose in his heart.
From birth he had been the heir of Prince Duan's estate, nobility beyond compare. In his twenty-six years, nearly everything he had ever wanted was within easy grasp. Yet her alone—though she lay within arm's reach—he could not freely touch.
Who was she? A mere servant girl he had casually married off in an arranged match. The wife of a household slave in his own estate.
Sun Feng'an was nothing but a lowly servant boy who had grown up attending the household, one who had always trembled in his presence, not even daring to raise his head. Yet he had so easily obtained such a wife—a wife he himself could only covet in secret.
He thought again of that day, under the bright sun, when the two of them had walked shoulder to shoulder down the small path in the estate, chatting and laughing right under his nose.
How could they be like that?
—Of course, he would not allow it.
His fingertip traced absently over her delicate skin, while his eyes grew dark and unreadable.