Once people grow up and begin living their own lives, they gradually grow distant from their parents.
Concubine Zhao was, to some extent, rather sentimental.
She had made her daughter a ruqun suitable for autumn wear, choosing goose-yellow fabric.
As she stroked the soft cloth, she glanced toward the door from time to time.
Before long, Li Sushu came into view in a great hurry.
She had yet to arrive, but her voice came first as she loudly complained, “Concubine, you could have just had Sister Hehua deliver the new dress to my courtyard. Why did you have to make me come all the way here?”
As soon as she finished speaking, she had already reached Concubine Zhao’s side and plopped down beside her.
Concubine Zhao pinched her daughter’s cheek reproachfully and said gently, “You’re busy all day long. Can’t you make time to keep your concubine mother company?”
Li Sushu rubbed her sore cheek and thought silently,
【Isn’t it because I’m busy thinking about what to eat for lunch, what to eat for dinner, and what to eat tomorrow?】
As the saying went, food was the paramount necessity of the people. The food in this era was far too perfunctory, and she truly couldn’t get used to it.
She had no choice but to come up with ways to improve the household’s meals with the help of the maids and old matrons.
Concubine Zhao sighed again and said resentfully, “When you don’t come to see your concubine mother, I want to go to you instead, but you’re never home.”
The beautiful woman’s brows were knitted in a frown, yet the sight was still pleasing to the eye.
Hearing that her beautiful mother missed her, Li Sushu was quite happy.
“It’s not as though we don’t see each other every day,” Li Sushu said in a guilty little voice.
She did not know why, but she felt somewhat lacking in confidence.
“Every time we meet, it’s in the First Madam’s courtyard. There are too many people around, and our eyes and ears aren’t private. When would we ever have time to properly talk, mother and daughter?”
As she spoke, Concubine Zhao handed the goose-yellow ruqun to her daughter and said softly, “Go inside and try it on. If it doesn’t fit, we can alter it.”
Li Sushu accepted the ruqun and held it against herself as she smiled. “It looks like it fits perfectly at a glance. Concubine, you have such deft hands. This dress is so beautiful!”
Concubine Zhao smiled with her lips pressed together, her complexion blooming like spring.
“Stop flattering me and go try it on. If there’s anywhere it doesn’t fit, we can still fix it today while there’s time.”
“Mm!” Li Sushu nodded and skipped toward the inner room.
Concubine Zhao watched her daughter’s lighthearted retreat with a smile and shook her head.
This girl looked quite like an adult when she assigned the maids and old matrons to handle the ingredients and instructed the kitchen in cooking.
Yet sometimes she was still just like a child, lively and energetic.
Then Concubine Zhao remembered that her daughter was already fourteen but had still not begun menstruating. The menstrual belts she had prepared two years ago had yet to be used.
Was she not still a child?
At the thought of this, she restrained her smile, worry filling her brows and eyes.
Ordinarily, girls had their first menstruation at twelve or thirteen. Her own daughter was already fourteen, yet there was still no sign of it.
Could it be—could it be that she had some hidden ailment?
She sighed inwardly, her heart aching, and silently prayed for Heaven’s protection—for Heaven to keep her child safe from illness and disaster.
If any disaster or pain had to come, let it fall upon her instead. She was willing to bear it in her own body for her child.
Catching sight of her daughter walking over in her new clothes, she took a deep breath to calm herself, forced a smile onto her face, and said, “Come, let your concubine mother see whether it fits.”
Li Sushu cooperatively lifted the hem of her skirt and spun around once, smiling as she said, “It fits perfectly. There’s no need to alter it.”
Haitang followed behind her, carrying the dress Li Sushu had changed out of, and also smiled as she praised, “Concubine, your needlework is wonderful, and you have a good eye too. Young Miss looks so beautiful in this color!”
Concubine Zhao watched the girl who somewhat resembled her, twirling gracefully with her skirt lifted. The fitted, goose-yellow dress made the young girl appear even more charming and adorable.
When she thought that her young and innocent daughter might one day be neglected and despised because she suffered from a hidden ailment, her heart felt as though it were being cut by a knife.
The First Miss, who was only a year older than her daughter, was perfectly normal. Why, then, did her own daughter have to suffer so many hardships?
Concubine Zhao beckoned and said softly, “Stop jumping around foolishly. Aren’t you tired? Come over and rest. Let’s talk for a while.”
Li Sushu obediently ran over and sat down beside her concubine mother, asking with a grin, “Concubine, do you think I’m pretty?”
“Pretty. My daughter is the most beautiful girl in the world.” The corners of Concubine Zhao’s mouth lifted into a smile as she spoke with half feigned politeness and half sincerity.
Then she turned to the maids and said, “Go play elsewhere. There’s no need for you to stand guard here. Let the two of us have a private conversation.”
The maids acknowledged her, curtsied, and slowly withdrew.
“What does Concubine want to talk about that Sister Hehua and the others can’t hear?” Li Sushu asked curiously.
Concubine Zhao started to speak, then stopped, then started again, struggling to organize her words.
After a long while, she sighed, took her daughter’s slender fingers in her hand, and said softly, “You’re already over fourteen, yet you still haven’t menstruated. Do you know that this isn’t normal?”
“Your sister, for example, began menstruating at the beginning of last year. Most girls are like your sister and begin at twelve or thirteen.”
“Your concubine mother was wondering whether we should ask the First Madam to find a good physician to help regulate your body.”
Li Sushu poured a cup of tea for her concubine mother and another for herself. She took a small sip and said without concern, “I don’t feel uncomfortable anywhere, so there’s no need to call a physician, right?”
Concubine Zhao assumed her daughter was young and innocent and did not understand the seriousness of the matter. She urged her, “Shouldn’t we still have a physician take a look? Your concubine mother heard that if a woman doesn’t menstruate, she may have difficulty conceiving after she marries.”
Li Sushu only felt that not menstruating was better. With the sanitary conditions of this world, having one’s period every month was a disaster.
Moreover, giving birth in this era was undoubtedly like stepping one foot through the gates of death.
“Let nature take its course. Perhaps I’ll just start a little later?” Li Sushu comforted her concubine mother.
Concubine Zhao sighed inwardly, thinking, 【I hope that’s the case.】
“If you don’t start menstruating, your concubine mother won’t be able to feel at ease.”
Women had always had a difficult time since ancient days, and women who could not conceive had an even harder time.
“Concubine, don’t worry. At worst, I simply won’t marry in the future. I’ll stay home and keep you company.”
“When your brothers marry and establish their own families, how could they possibly let you continue living in the household?” Remaining unmarried for an entire lifetime would likely cause other people’s spit to drown her.
“Then I’ll save money and buy a small residence of my own. I’ll bring you there to live with me.”
“How could it be that easy?” Concubine Zhao sighed. It was not so simple for a woman to establish a household. Besides, without a man in the family, every stray cat and dog would want to take advantage of them.
“There’s nothing in the world that is difficult for one who sets their mind to it. Concubine, you don’t need to worry about me. No matter when, I’ll be able to take good care of myself.”
“If you don’t want your concubine mother to worry, then let’s call a physician to examine you and regulate your health.”
“…”
She felt that she was not ill. If she was not ill, why would she need to see a physician?
“Concubine, aren’t you afraid that if a physician examines me and word gets out, my reputation will be ruined?” Li Sushu racked her brains for a way to refuse.
Concubine Zhao said seriously, “A physician has a benevolent heart. A good physician will certainly keep a patient’s condition confidential. Don’t be afraid of illness and refuse treatment.”
She genuinely thought that not menstruating, being infertile, and never marrying were all quite good. It was not that she was afraid of illness and refusing treatment!
This wasn’t some difficult illness. It was clearly a blessing!
She and her concubine mother had a generational gap between them, and neither could persuade the other. What was she supposed to do?
She could only find an excuse and flee!
“Concubine, don’t be anxious. Let’s wait a few more months and see. I made plans with Sister this morning to go play in her courtyard this afternoon…”
“Go on, go on. If you’re unwilling, can your concubine mother tie you up and take you to a physician?” What use was having children? They only made people worry endlessly, and children did not even appreciate it.
Li Sushu took her leave, called Haitang, and went back together with her.
When she passed her own courtyard, she did not stop. She went straight to Li Yueyue’s courtyard.
Seeing her arrive, Li Yueyue complained, “Why did you take so long? I’ve already finished drawing. Take a look and see whether it’s all right.”
Li Sushu took the drawing paper and nodded in satisfaction, praising her, “You drew it so well!”
Then she instructed Haitang to take the drawing paper to the steward and have him find someone to carve the mold.
“Why did you change into a new dress after taking an afternoon nap?”
“How is it? Does it look good?”
Li Yueyue looked her up and down and gave her assessment with great seriousness. “It’s too delicate. It doesn’t suit your temperament.”
In truth, it looked very good. The pretty color, worn by her still-childish younger sister, made her appear even more adorable and lively.
She was only teasing her sister for fun.
Li Sushu asked curiously, “What kind of temperament do I have, then?”
Li Yueyue cleared her throat and sang, “With strength enough to uproot mountains, with spirit enough to cover the world…”
For a moment, Li Sushu actually thought that one of her university roommates had crossed over into this world.
Without thinking, she followed up, “My sister is an idiot.”
The rhyme was surprisingly good.
“My sister loves to fart!”
The two of them were evenly matched.
Time always passed quickly while they were playing around. At dusk, the sisters went side by side to their mother’s courtyard to pay their respects.
When they were nearly at Madam Wang’s courtyard, they ran into Li Ming, who was walking toward them with the evening sunset behind him.
After exchanging greetings, the siblings continued walking as they chatted.
“Tomorrow morning, I’ll be returning to our ancestral home to pay respects to Grandfather and Grandmother and deliver the Mid-Autumn Festival gifts. While I’m away, don’t miss your big brother too much!”
Since Li Ming had been thirteen or fourteen, he had returned to their ancestral home every year on Father Li’s behalf to deliver the festival gifts.
A boy around his age was considered half a pillar of the family. In addition, the journey to their ancestral home followed the official roads, and they would stay at relay stations at night.
Father Li had also arranged for the assistant steward and half of the household’s menservants to accompany him. Surely no bandits foolish enough to court death would come rob them.
Thus, the Li Family was entirely at ease letting the child lead the group home on his own.
Li Yueyue was very envious that her brother could travel far and broaden his horizons. She sighed, “If only I were a boy. I want to go back to our ancestral home and play too.”
Li Sushu consoled her, “What’s so fun about returning to our ancestral home? You have to ride in a carriage or on horseback, and the jolting along the road is terribly uncomfortable.
“Besides, you have to sleep at relay stations along the way, which is inconvenient in all sorts of ways. Let Big Brother suffer through it instead.”
Li Ming burst into laughter. “At last I’ve met someone who can’t eat grapes and says they’re sour!
“Let me tell you, going out for a walk is much more fun than staying home to study. You meet all sorts of interesting people, and the scenery along the road is much more refreshing than anything in the city.”
“Mm, you’re right. I’m sure that chewing dry provisions and steamed buns every day on the road can be imagined as delicacies in your eyes.”
“You don’t understand, do you? Only the midday meal is rather plain. In the evening, we stay at relay stations according to the time needed for the journey. The relay stations sell food, and we can also borrow their kitchens and cook for ourselves.”