Her sister-in-law, Lin Shuangqiu, had come to the capital to rely on her and was still waiting for good news.
The Shen family had risen in status thanks to Pei Zhiheng’s promotion. They had renovated a three-courtyard residence on Zizhu Street.
Everyone on that street was a person of wealth and power. Red gates studded with bronze nails lined the road, and sedan chairs and horses passed in a constant stream.
After kneeling for two hours, Xie Rutang’s knees were so swollen she could barely stand. Still, gritting her teeth, she went to the main hall to find the Old Madam and quietly asked whether her sister-in-law might stay in the residence for a few days.
But after finishing her prayers and incense, Old Madam Shen replied coolly, her voice tinged with disgust. “Isn’t it enough that we have to keep one bringer of misfortune here? Now you want to drag your whole family in?”
“I advise you not to mistake kindness for weakness. You’re allowed to stay here for Yuan’er’s sake. The Shen family’s doors aren’t open to your poor, shabby relatives.”
Xie Rutang curled her fingers into her palms, digging her nails in until they hurt, but she couldn’t bring herself to say a word in protest.
Head bowed, she answered, “Yes,” then turned and left.
After leaving Shou'an Hall, Xie Rutang had briefly considered asking the man at Suxue Residence for help.
But Pei Zhiheng had already mistaken the bowl of aphrodisiac for something she had given him last night.
She had even thrown herself at him, and he had remained unmoved. How could he possibly help her family? She didn’t think she had that much face.
Xie Rutang sighed inwardly.
When she returned to Wutong Residence, she saw her sister-in-law, Lin Shuangqiu, waiting by the gate with the children, one tall figure and one small.
Xie Rutang stood beneath the corridor for a moment, then swallowed down the bitterness rising in her throat before walking into the courtyard.
She brought her sister-in-law into the room, then had a maid bring over a plate of pastries to share with her nephew and niece. “Sister-in-law.”
Not wanting to worry them, Xie Rutang only smiled. “Things aren’t very convenient at the residence these next few days. Could you take the children and stay somewhere else for a while? I’ll rent a place for you.”
Lin Shuangqiu was silent for a long time. “Did… your mother-in-law refuse?”
At last, she turned away, stifling her sobs. “Rutang, what kind of life have you been living in the Shen family? Your brother and I weren’t capable enough to protect you.”
The words pierced Xie Rutang’s heart.
But she had no time to grieve, and she didn’t dare cry. Her sister-in-law and the two children still needed her to be the family’s pillar.
Sometimes she thought that if her husband hadn’t died in battle, their life would surely have been bright.
She was only eighteen.
She was as beautiful as a flower, with the best years of her life still ahead of her, yet from now on she would have to live alone.
She was even less willing to tell Lin Shuangqiu that her mother-in-law was forcing her to seduce Second Master. She was afraid it would only make Lin Shuangqiu worry.
No matter how bitter or exhausting it was, she could only swallow it all alone.
Xie Rutang forced a smile and soon rented a tiny house in a remote alley in the capital.
At dawn, while the sky was still dim, she borrowed a carriage from Shen Residence and quietly settled them in.
The house stood at the end of a narrow alley in the southern part of the city. Its courtyard wall was low and its gate narrow; a carriage couldn’t even make it inside.
To her surprise, she ran into Pei Zhiheng there.
A woman was with him.
It turned out the Jingzhao Court of Judicial Review was right next to the house.
Pei Zhiheng had just come out through the main gate. His blue-green robe was patterned with bamboo, yet it could not conceal his air of nobility.
Xie Rutang recognized the young lady at his side: Su Yao, the daughter of his mentor, Grand Tutor Su.
Grand Tutor Su intended to take his prized pupil as his son-in-law.
In both appearance and family background, the two were a perfect match.
For a moment, Xie Rutang couldn’t help feeling inferior.
No wonder he didn’t want to carry on both family lines.
So beneath his cool exterior, he too had a beloved woman in his heart.
Her mother-in-law was determined to have her secretly bear an heir for Pei Zhiheng.
But how could that ever happen?
Xie Rutang clenched her handkerchief and was just about to find a corner to hide in.
But Pei Zhiheng noticed her at once.
The man’s gaze fixed on her, his pupils dark and deep, like those of a cold Buddha untouched by human feeling.
Xie Rutang felt as if she had been scalded.
She tried to forget how, last night, Pei Zhiheng had shed his cool exterior, sat her on his lap, and unconsciously brushed his palm over her slender waist.
His bearing was as clear and noble as a breeze beneath a bright moon; his face gentle yet fathomless.
As he listened to Miss Su’s question, the corners of his lips lifted in a polite, faint smile. He was so handsome that the women passing by couldn’t help staring at him.
Xie Rutang was shy, her ears growing warm. She cursed him silently: Hypocrite!
But she knew Pei Zhiheng had no wish to acknowledge her here.
She was tactful enough not to approach him.
Seeing that Pei Zhiheng kept looking at the woman not far away, Su Yao grew wary. When she looked at Xie Rutang, her gaze was full of hostility.
But then she noticed Xie Rutang’s married woman’s coiffure and the plain clothes worn by widows, and paused.
Su Yao secretly breathed a sigh of relief.
Lord Pei had lofty standards; she naturally couldn’t imagine him taking an interest in a widow.
Xie Rutang pretended not to see them and helped her sister-in-law settle their belongings.
Since she hadn’t managed to change Pei Zhiheng’s mind, the Old Madam—who had promised her two hundred taels for taking soup to the man’s room—had given her only one hundred in the end.
She had no other choice. That morning, she took the money to bribe the jailers, hoping at least to get her brother moved to a better cell, with an extra quilt and better food, so he would suffer a little less in prison.
After taking the money, the head jailer’s attitude did indeed soften.
She left the rest of the money with her sister-in-law.
Thinking of it, Xie Rutang was moved by the sight before her. Her eyes reddened as she said, “Sister-in-law, once I’ve saved enough money, I’ll find you a better place to live. When Brother gets out, our family will be together again.”
She would get her brother out. She would.
But before leaving, Lin Shuangqiu took her hand. “Rutang, once your brother is out, why don’t you remarry?”
“Do you remember Scholar Zhang from our county? His whole family has moved to the capital. If you’re willing, I’ll speak to him for you. He certainly won’t look down on your circumstances…”
Xie Rutang’s face flushed at once.
“Sister-in-law! I still have to keep my vow to Yuan-lang…”
As she spoke, Xie Rutang suddenly met Pei Zhiheng’s eyes in the distance, cold and burning, their emotions impossible to read.
She was so startled her heart nearly stopped, and she clamped her mouth shut.
In an instant, Pei Zhiheng looked away.
His gaze left Xie Rutang feeling guilty and uneasy; she no longer dared discuss remarriage with her sister-in-law.
She could only pray that he hadn’t heard what Lin Shuangqiu had just said.
Su Yao had held back for a long time. At last, twisting her handkerchief, she couldn’t help asking, “Does Lord Pei know that madam?”
Pei Zhiheng watched Xie Rutang, his expression inscrutable. “She’s the widowed Madam Shen from the residence.”
A widow who had once barged into Second Master’s study in disheveled clothes to borrow a child.
Xie Rutang was so embarrassed she wanted to run away.
But since Pei Zhiheng had given her identity, she had no choice but to step forward and greet them.
Her pearly-white summer jacket was embroidered with spring branches. She curtsied gracefully, making her waist look even slimmer.
Su Yao looked delighted, her wariness entirely gone. “So you’re Madam Shen.”
Xie Rutang gave her a perfunctory reply and was just about to take her leave.
But Su Yao warmly took her by the arm, smiling. “Lord Pei and I are going to Jinxiu Pavilion. Why don’t you come with us, Sister-in-law? There are so many things I’d like to ask you about.”
Xie Rutang froze.
Su Yao wasn’t even married into the Pei family yet, and she was already calling her Sister-in-law.
It turned out Su Yao had originally planned to go shopping for clothes with Pei Zhiheng that day.
Xie Rutang couldn’t refuse. Before she knew it, Su Yao had pulled her into the carriage, where she and Pei Zhiheng were sharing the same compartment.
Pei Zhiheng sat with his eyes closed, his long lashes veiling his pale eyelids. Su Yao watched him, her cheeks faintly flushed.
On the way, Su Yao asked Xie Rutang all sorts of questions about Pei Zhiheng.
When they arrived at Jinxiu Pavilion, Su Yao picked up a pale-yellow beizi and chatted with Pei Zhiheng now and then. “Lord Pei, do you think this would look good with my moonlight-colored skirt?”
The man murmured, “Mm,” in reply.
Xie Rutang kept her eyes lowered, making herself as inconspicuous as air.
After getting an answer, Su Yao shyly went to try on the clothes.
When she came back out, she picked up a crimson ruqun and smiled as she held it up against Xie Rutang.
“Madam Shen, why don’t you try this on? This color would suit you so well.”
Xie Rutang hadn’t worn a brightly colored skirt in a month.
Her gaze fell on the crimson fabric, and she felt as if it had scalded her; bitterness welled up in her heart.
She was about the same age as Su Yao, but ever since her husband’s death, her wardrobe had held nothing but plain white, moon white, and pale gray.
“Madam Shen?” Su Yao tilted her head at her.
Xie Rutang came back to herself and shook her head, her voice so quiet it was as if she feared disturbing something. “Bright colors don’t suit me. You choose something for yourself, Sister Su.”
But Su Yao had taken a liking to the idea. She insisted that Xie Rutang try it on, then turned to Pei Zhiheng and asked, “Lord Pei, which one do you think would suit Madam Shen?”
At that, Pei Zhiheng’s cold, fathomless gaze fell on her.
Xie Rutang’s scalp prickled, and her body went rigid.
Pei Zhiheng’s gaze passed over her, then stopped on a purple skirt embroidered with white peonies. His thin lips moved. “Purple.”
Xie Rutang froze, puzzled.
She had hardly had any dealings with Second Master, and during the month she had been widowed, she had worn almost nothing but pale colors and white. How had Pei Zhiheng concluded that purple suited her?
Then, all at once, her ears turned crimson.
Last night, when she took soup to his study, she had been wearing a purple bellyband beneath her gauzy skirt!