The corners of Xie Rutang’s eyes were red, as if stained with crushed flower petals.
But Pei Zhiheng had gotten drunk tonight. She couldn’t even demand justice from him… much less find someone to confide in.
Her chastity was gone…
Worse still, Pei Zhiheng still thought of her as secondhand—as someone Shen Yuan had touched.
She had long since lost her chastity, so even if he had accidentally touched her while drunk, he wouldn’t feel responsible for her. He was a very practical man.
Tears traced the corners of Xie Rutang’s eyes.
Fortunately, she had stopped Pei Zhiheng in time, before he could go any further. She was still a virgin.
She had never done that sort of thing with her late husband.
So when Pei Zhiheng pinned her hand down and tried to move it lower, she’d snatched it back as if burned.
Xie Rutang closed her eyes and refused to think about it anymore.
After what had happened tonight, Pei Zhiheng had frightened her so badly that from now on, she dared wear only white. She wouldn’t touch even pale pink or pale yellow—anything brighter than snow-white.
She was afraid he would grab her by the waist again and pin her in some deserted corner.
Even though she loved dressing beautifully, she no longer dared.
Xie Rutang instructed her softly, “Put away all the brightly colored clothes in the wardrobe.”
After bathing, she looked in the mirror. Her thin white robe clung to her shapely figure, and even she, as a woman, blushed at the sight.
Remembering Pei Zhiheng’s cold, teasing eyes, she couldn’t help wondering whether she looked too vulgar, too wanton—nothing like the respectable young ladies of the capital.
She sighed softly.
It wasn’t as if Xie Rutang wanted all her flesh to gather there.
But she didn’t want Pei Zhiheng to think her “improper” again, so she decided that from now on she would bind her chest in the residence and keep a plain, low profile, lest she attract the wrong kind of attention…
The next morning, Jinyue helped her to the dressing table and began arranging her hair and makeup.
Xie Rutang had meant to wear a pair of red agate earrings.
But when she recalled Pei Zhiheng’s cool, distant gaze from the night before, her eyes dimmed. In the end, she set them down and wore nothing at all.
A widow was already allowed very few ornaments to begin with.
Now, at eighteen, she really was going to have to live as drably and plainly as a woman in her thirties.
Watching her mistress, Jinyue’s eyes reddened with heartache. How could Second Master be so cruel?
Her mistress was still so young, in the prime of her beauty.
Was she really supposed to dress like a decrepit old woman and slowly wither away inside the Shen Residence…?
……
Pei Zhiheng returned to his study, his clothes damp with night dew. Seated in his armchair, he could still smell Xie Rutang’s lingering scent on himself.
Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw her fragile figure from that night, afraid to offend anyone. She was strikingly beautiful; even a plain hairpin couldn’t conceal her radiance.
Pei Zhiheng lowered his gaze. Now he was certain that Xie Rutang’s scent truly attracted him, and he wasn’t repelled by it.
For the past few days, her frail figure had kept appearing before his eyes, making his heart itch.
Today, he had gone out to dine and drink with his superior. Their conversation had been all about criminal cases. When he saw her upon returning to the residence, he had nearly committed a grave mistake.
Pei Zhiheng closed his eyes, his gaze cold from the corner of them.
He had managed the Dali Temple for so long. Had she not appeared in the bamboo grove that night, how could he have broken the rules of abstinence he had kept for twenty years?
Pei Zhiheng tapped his fingers lightly on the desk.
Just then, a maid knocked and came in with a bowl of soup.
“Madam sent Second Master chicken soup an hour ago. Old Madam saw how busy you’ve been with official business lately and how seldom you sleep well at night, so she specially asked Madam to simmer it over a low flame. It’s very nourishing.”
“Old Madam said that even if you had some in the afternoon, you should still have a bowl before bed for the best effect.”
Pei Zhiheng’s hand paused as he was writing notes on an official document.
A trace of guilt unexpectedly stirred in him. She had made him chicken soup tonight, and yet he had nearly violated her in the bamboo grove.
The furrow between Pei Zhiheng’s brows slowly eased.
Perhaps out of guilt, he decided to have a few sips.
But as soon as he picked up the jade spoon and smelled the soup, Pei Zhiheng didn’t drink. He set the spoon down. “What kind of soup is this?”
The maid faltered.
She seemed afraid to meet his eyes, and blushed. “To answer Second Master, it’s deer antler and ginseng chicken soup…”
Pei Zhiheng’s expression changed at once.
Deer antler was a powerful tonic for male vitality, with a potent aphrodisiac effect. It was often used as a private bedroom tonic.
Pei Zhiheng lowered his eyes.
Xie Rutang had claimed Old Madam sent it, but who knew whether it was really her idea or Old Madam’s?
As a woman, was she so lonely in her bedchamber, so full of desire?
Did she need a child that badly?
He hadn’t expected that even after all this time, she still hadn’t given up on the idea.
Pei Zhiheng took one sip, then set the spoon down, finding the soup utterly tasteless.
He stared at the bowl and suddenly let out a cold laugh.
He didn’t need medicine.
Pei Zhiheng said, “Take it out and pour it away.”
The maid was too frightened to speak. She had never seen Second Master look so grim. She hurriedly agreed.
For two days straight, she kept out of Pei Zhiheng’s way.
It was said that he had gone to Old Madam and refused to let her continue making chicken soup for him.
His voice was as cool and clear as jade striking jade. “Madam Xie has household affairs to manage. She has enough on her hands. There’s no need to trouble her with bringing me soup anymore.”
In short, she had made no impression on him.
Old Madam had once pinned her hopes on Xie Rutang, hoping she would conceive Pei Zhiheng’s child. Now that hope had been completely shattered.
Old Madam looked at her, so frustrated that she glared and bristled with indignation.
Xie Rutang simply acted as though nothing had happened. She continued to attend to Old Madam, massaging her shoulders with just the right pressure, then bringing her water to wash her feet.
At last, she took a small sachet from her sleeve. Several mugwort leaves were embroidered on the blue cloth.
Her eyelids half-lowered, Xie Rutang said, “There have been more mosquitoes around the residence these past few days. Your daughter-in-law made a few mosquito-repellent sachets. I’ve brought one for your room, so you can sleep peacefully at night.”
But today, Old Madam was thoroughly fed up with her. “All right, all right.”
“It’s all because you’re useless that Zhiheng has no interest in you. Get out—I’m sick of the sight of you, and you give me a headache!”
And she had even lost so much silver on top of that.
Xie Rutang only smiled faintly.
Though Old Madam kept scolding her, Xie Rutang continued to serve her with the same composure, showing no resentment.
That way, she could earn a good reputation. Once word spread, it would help her remarry. She wasn’t stupid; she had her own private motives. She treated the Shen Residence as a stepping-stone.
The servants in the Shen Residence already praised her. Before long, her reputation for virtue would spread.
But in the end, Old Madam’s plan had fallen apart. In her frustration, she took it out on Xie Rutang.
Suddenly, a teacup flew past her and smashed into the doorframe behind her, shattering into pieces. The shards nearly struck her face, and Xie Rutang’s expression darkened.
“Mother, I know you’re angry, but you can’t blame me entirely. Have you ever considered that Second Master might be the one who’s impotent?”
Jinyue sucked in a sharp breath beside her.
What was Madam saying?!
If Second Master found out…
Xie Rutang was afraid too, but since Pei Zhiheng didn’t want to continue both family lines either, smearing his reputation to make Old Madam give up on the idea wasn’t going too far, was it?
Who would have thought that the thousand-year-old iceberg was actually a virgin!
Maybe Pei Zhiheng really was impotent.
Otherwise, he was already of age—how could he not have a single concubine in his chambers by now?
Xie Rutang didn’t even blush.
Old Madam’s face changed at her words.
At last, Xie Rutang had gotten her revenge for Pei Zhiheng’s advances in the bamboo grove.