"Laura, wake up," Dan said, jolting me awake.
My head whipped around as I desperately took in my surroundings and I tried to figure out where I was. My eyes took in the bench seats, Sarah and Dan sat nearby, and I heard the hum of voices. I was on a bus. It was parked in front of the school. My morning's routine slowly came back to me as I checked that I still had my backpack and keys to the house. Thankfully, I had not forgotten either. I must have been barely conscious this morning while putting clothes on because I was wearing one of Lucas's old outfits: a blue sweatshirt and beige sweatpants.
"Ughh, I did not sleep well," I muttered to no one in particular.
"Come on Laura, we don't need a repeat of last Friday," she said with a laugh.
"What?" I asked, immediately darting a glare at her. That Friday was the day that I became me. What did Sarah mean by that?
"Maybe there is some Lucas left in there after all," Dan said quietly with a smirk.
"We had to wake you up on the bus that morning, too. You were super tired that whole day, and you even slept through the movie we watched that same night," Sarah explained.
Those events from Lucas's memory came back to me, the fear and frustration drained out of me, and a bout of lethargy replaced it. Regardless of how I felt, I still needed to leave the bus. I lurched to my feet and sleepily careened my way off the bus. In the main hall I waved to Dan and Sarah as we each split up to head to our respective homerooms. It would only be a few classes until I could hang out with them at lunch. Hopefully I did not sleep through that as well.
My homeroom period was uneventful and thankfully my classmates' attention was not on me today. I was grateful for Chris's company; we spent the period's free time reviewing history for the next test at my request. Any help I could get with that subject would be greatly appreciated due to the memory weirdness that had caused that entire class's material to be erased from my brain.
"Laura," Margaret called as I left the homeroom on my way to my locker. She was waiting for me just outside the door of Mr. Takahata's classroom. Dan's comment at lunch yesterday that she was in the GSA club—whatever that was—came back to me. Was she going to ask me to join?
"Hi Margaret," I replied warily and motioned her to my locker so I could collect my things for first class.
"I heard what happened to you in gym yesterday," she said with concern.
"Oh, I guess the rumor mill has been spinning even faster than I expected," I sighed as I picked my materials for class out of my locker.
"The story that I heard was that you managed to get away from those three pretty easily."
"I guess so, they seemed like they were more interested in cornering me than beating me up, thankfully," I replied as I started walking to Mrs. Garza's classroom. Margaret was still following despite not having the same class as me.
"I'm glad you're okay. I was hoping to invite you to one of our GSA meetings. They're on Thursdays after school in Miss Knight's classroom. We're a tight knit group, and you can count on anyone there to be reliable and supportive. They'll be willing to help you and it can be really helpful when you're newly out to have a support group," she said with a genuine smile.
"Wait, what is this club again?" I said, not even trying to keep the obvious confusion out of my voice.
"Oh," she said, her face flashing between surprise and confusion. "GSA stands for Genders and Sexualities Alliance. Club membership is technically open to all, but I've found that the bad ones don't stick around too long."
A club for genders? Huh? Oh, maybe she invited me because I changed genders? I guess that made sense. They might even ask questions about it. If I went to this club, they were going to quickly find out that I had no idea what being transgender was actually about. I should at least tell her part of the truth.
"I will think about it. I am just nervous after yesterday, you know?" I said carefully.
"Well, don't let them keep you from expressing yourself," she said as her eyes momentarily jumped downward and then back up to mine. "You're doing a great job with your voice! I'll see you later Laura," she said before running off to her next class. Why was she looking at my sweatshirt?
I made it to biology class with seconds to spare before the bell could proclaim me late. I spent the entire class jumping between catching up with the notes and diagrams on the board and thinking about what Margaret said.
Should I go to the GSA club meeting? What did she mean by 'expressing myself'? It was also clear she realized my voice had changed. I had no idea how I was supposed to hide some of the transformation changes, especially my height and voice. Not that I had any interest in hiding my voice; I really liked it. Could conventional methods even change your voice? There must be some way to do it since Margaret had not started grilling me about witchcraft and spells. And no one at school had even commented on the height change yet. Should I wear lifts? I liked being this height. In fact, I basically liked every single change the transformation had made. I did not want to hide any of it. I hoped it would not come to that.
My eyes drifted from the board to the desk to my left and I noticed Stephen was looking right back at me.
"Are you okay?" he whispered.
"Yeah," I lied.
He saw right through me and frowned. My eyes darted back to the chalkboard, and I tried to just focus on the class instead. When the bell rang, I shot directly for the door and was the first out of the classroom.
English passed by in a blur, but only because I slept through a large section of it. I really was just like Lucas; I was still falling asleep any chance I could. At least there was only one more class before lunch. Hopefully, I could sleep in the cafeteria so I could avoid falling even further behind in history than I already was.
In today's trigonometry class Mr. Eckhart introduced new material for the first time since the disastrous test on Friday. The trig functions had returned with new evil 'inverse' versions which were yet another table of values to memorize. Maybe it was just the same tables, but backwards? By the end of class, I was excited to run to lunch. The food would be mediocre, there was no doubt of that, but I craved the company of my friends. The nap I snuck in during English had been enough to keep me attentive for the entire hour of math. When the bell rang, I bolted out the door as soon as I could. I did not want to give Mr. Eckhart a chance to hold me up before lunch.
Since I was so early to the cafeteria, the line was much shorter than I was used to. Today the lunch offerings fell far below the quality level of Friday's pizza. People got in line as fast as possible on those days. The table where I usually sat with my friends was empty. I got halfway through my lunch before my friends sat down. I did not even have the energy to finish it. Sarah greeted me warmly as I put my arms on the table and laid my head down. I replied with a nonverbal grumble.
"Still sleepy?" she asked.
"I have been exhausted all day," I replied as I adjusted my arms to block more of the overhead fluorescent lights.
"You were also sleeping on the bus this morning."
"I think I slept through a good chunk of English too."
"Laura!" Sarah scolded and I lifted my head.
"What? Yesterday was a lot. I should have stayed home today. But I just keep having to come here every day. People have to see me with their awful little eyes," I rambled.
"Is that why you're not wearing one of the new outfits I picked out for you?"
"Actually, I just kind of threw this on by reflex. I barely even remember doing it. I am terrified, Sarah. What if this keeps happening? How do I make it stop? Is it going to be like this forever? Will I just get exhausted and wander aimlessly?"
"It will get better, Laura. You'll see," Sarah said reassuringly.
"I hope so," I said and dropped my head back into my makeshift arm pillow.
"Not feeling well?" Chris asked as he sat down.
There was another clattering of a tray against the table as someone else took a seat. It must have been Dan.
"Just tired," I mumbled.
"Yesterday was probably exhausting for her," Sarah said between bites.
"Why?" Chris asked.
There was a short pause which caused me to look up and glance at my friends. Sarah was giving Chris a severe look, but Chris mostly looked confused.
"As soon as you magically turn into a girl and have to spend an entire day explaining it to the whole school multiple times; you better believe I will be asking you that exact same question," I said sarcastically. Chris visibly gulped.
"Also, Tommy attacked her in gym yesterday. He got suspended for it," Dan said evenly.
"What?" Chris spluttered, "You didn't mention that in homeroom, Laura."
"I thought it was more important to focus on history class rather than Tommy's sad attempt to beat me up," I said with a sigh. I was not going to get any more sleep in while this conversation was happening.
"What did he do?" Chris pressed.
"While we were running laps on the track Tommy grabbed my hair, then started harassing me. His two other football friends backed him up." I shot a look at Dan before continuing, "I barely managed to get away when Tommy took a swing at me."
"Thanks for not pulling an ice sword on them," Dan said with a laugh.
"I was not in that much danger. They were just harassing me. They were not trying to kill me, at least I do not think they were," I said, but my worry started breaking through the surface the longer I spoke.
There was a pause.
"What would they have done if they caught me?" I asked in a small voice.
The table went silent.
"Oh." My head dropped back into my arms and I checked out entirely from the remainder of the conversation. Their voices drifted through my ears, but I was miles away. It felt like I had floated away and finally I was at peace.
I found myself leaning back in my seat while I poked at my tray of soup that aspired to be lasagna.
"This Jordan-ghost rumor is ridiculous," Dan said between bites of pizza. "We don't even know what happened to him. He might have run away or... or something, I don't know. But there's no way he's actually dead, or haunting the creek, or whatever."
"Sarah, are you serious about heading out there? That place is weird and creeps me out. Now, for the next order of business I want to—" Chris began.
He was cut off by Sarah, "Not so fast. I've heard from five different people that weird things happen to people that go there."
"Okay, well, do you want to have something weird happen to you? What could we even do?" Dan said. Sarah gave Dan a mischievous smile. "Oh, no. No way. I am not ruining a night of sleep to go look at weeds." Dan was shaking his head.
"What are you, chicken? Afraid of the ghost? Or just afraid of being wrong?" Sarah mocked. There was something more; she was not just trying to goad Dan. Something told me she really wanted to see the ghost and find out what had happened to Jordan.
Why did I already know what happened to Jordan? He was dead. Just like the other ghosts we saw that night.
"Neither, I just don't want to waste my time," Dan shot back.
"Well, that's too bad, because we're all going. Tonight!" Sarah announced with a huge grin.
"Tonight?" I spluttered.
"Yes, tonight. We'll go to Chris's house and stay the night. We'll get to hunt ghosts. It'll be great. I'll tell my parents I'm going to Kathy's. She'll cover for me," Sarah said before glancing around at the rest of us expectantly. She turned to Chris, "Your parents are still on that trip, right?"
"Well, yes. But—" Chris muttered.
"Then it's settled. We meet at Chris's house tonight, go to the creek at midnight, and we'll see for ourselves!" Sarah proclaimed.
"Chris, you're not really agreeing to go along with this, are you?" Dan said with an incredulous look.
"Actually, yes. Let's go. I want to look for myself. My parents will be gone all weekend," Chris said with surprising confidence.
"Then it's double settled!" Sarah's excitement was starting to get a bit infectious.
"Luc, tell me you aren't going along with this. You know we're not going to see anything." Dan said, his exasperation with Sarah nearly made me laugh.
"Dan, stop calling me Luc. My name is Laura." I said while laughing to cover my frustration. As soon as I spoke, I realized something was off. The room around me was swimming and started blurring into indistinct colors. Turning around and looking at the cafeteria around me only made my vision recede into fuzziness faster.
"Laura!" Dan called my name again, just like he had this morning. "Wake up. Lunch is nearly over."
My head shot off the table and I glanced around frantically. The blur coating my vision was gone and everything was far too bright. I had been dreaming of a memory, but not one of mine. It was one of Lucas's final memories from last Friday; the day I took his place.
"You really didn't sleep well last night, did you?" Sarah said, worry evident in her voice.
"No, I did not," I said, shaking my head to try and dispel the drowsiness. "I just relived last Friday—well, I guess, it was a dream, really. And just the conversation we had at lunch." I looked at Sarah. "Remind me, why did you want all of us to go to the river? You were so enthusiastic about it on Friday that you even convinced this stick in the mud to go." I gestured at Dan and his face turned into a scowl.
"Oh, well uh... hm," she began unevenly. She glanced at the three of us while I started working on what remained of my lunch. "I wanted to know what happened to them all. The missing students, I mean."
I felt like I was missing something. Lucas, Dan, Chris and Sarah had run into the ghosts of William, Jessica, and Jordan later that night on Friday. As I finished my lunch I mulled over the dream. Sarah had only mentioned one name in it: Jordan.
The bell rang to end lunch and my friends all headed to their lockers. I made my way to mine more quickly than normal, grabbed my things for history, and stood outside the door to the class hoping to intercept Sarah. I had to know.
"Sarah, it was Jordan you were looking for, right?" I said as soon as I got my chance.
"Yeah," she said in a tiny voice.
"Why?" I breathed, dropping my voice in volume to match hers.
She blanched.
"He was a really close friend, that's all," she said before looking away.
She walked past me and into the classroom. I did not stop her, it felt like I had asked exactly the wrong question. I stood there frozen until the warning bell shooed me to my seat. The short nap at lunch must have given me enough energy to make it through the class period since I managed to avoid falling asleep. I was not so lucky in Spanish class. It passed slowly in a hazy blur of note taking, fading in and out of consciousness, and the scratching of chalk on the board.
As the start of last period approached, I braced myself. I needed to be fast to keep up my strategy for dealing with gym. As soon as the bell rang, I scurried to the locker room and took a stall to change in. After I changed, I waited for the rest of the girls to pass through before I left my stall. As I entered the main gymnasium the class was already sitting on the bleachers. Several of their eyes followed me as I walked over to join them. I quickly scanned the class looking for Tommy. I spotted his friends, but Tommy was absent from the crowd.
When class officially began, Mr. Winters directed us to the workout room. Half the students started on the cardio machines while the other half used the strength machines. I was in the latter group. We each took a piece of exercise equipment, used it for several repetitions, and then swapped to a new one.
While I was using the seated leg press at the back of the room, I could hear the conversation between two of the guys at the machines in front of me. I did not recognize either of them and they did not seem old enough to be seniors; they might have been in their junior year.
"You saw him come out of the girl's locker room, right?" the first said. My face immediately began to burn; he was talking about me.
"Isn't she a girl? Makes sense to me," the other replied.
"And are the real girls okay with him being there?"
"What the hell dude, you know she's not the only trans girl at the school, right? You can't let them hear you say that kind of stuff! Also, shut up. I bet you would still be bothering her if she used our locker room," the boy said with a laugh. The other guy punched him lightly on the shoulder and they both began laughing.
I forced myself to stop staring at them and I wished they had not noticed me eavesdropping. It seemed that it was not just Tommy who had a problem with me. And apparently, I was not the only transgender girl at the school. I could not remember seeing any other trans students, but I did not really know anyone outside my grade and even then, I kept mostly to my close friends. After I finished with the leg press, I grabbed the machine that was the furthest from the two chuckling juniors. I tried to just focus on the dull burn in my muscles and push all the unpleasant thoughts out of my mind.
Eventually, my group swapped to the cardio equipment, and I selected a treadmill. I had a bad feeling that our little magic investigation was going to involve a lot of running over the next few weeks. Any sort of fighting would definitely take a lot of stamina. Might as well get started on training sooner rather than later. Had the events of Friday finally caught up with me? Is that why I had been so sleepy today? That insane fight was before I even existed and at least I, or we, had only survived thanks to Lucas and Aurora. The next one was going to have to be all me.
I thought idly about what I could do to prepare for another possible supernatural battle on Friday. Tonight, I planned to get a peek inside that box my father had hopefully found the key for. Thinking back to this morning, I had been in such a sleepy stupor I had forgotten to even leave Dad a note asking about it. At least my father's Tuesdays were generally a lighter workload than the rest of the week. I might even see him tonight.
At some point the bell must have rung because when I looked around, the room was empty. A quick glance at the treadmill told me I had spent forty minutes on it. I had been going at a steady jogging pace and completely lost track of time. Mr. Winters smiled at me as I entered the main gymnasium. He seemed to be turning on the scoreboard for an upcoming basketball game. The locker room was empty so I was able to change in peace.
I barely made it onto the bus after retrieving my backpack from my hall locker. I sat down heavily next to Sarah as the bus lurched forward.
"Laura, are you okay?" Sarah asked.
"Yeah, just sleepy. Maybe I overdid it in gym," I replied wearily.
I leaned back against the stiff back of the bus bench seat and closed my eyes.
At some point Sarah moved past me and got off the bus.
"Make sure she's awake when you get off the bus," she said to Dan.
Sleep enveloped me again.
Dan pushed on my shoulder gently and said, "Laura, wake up. Your stop is soon."
"Oh, thanks," I said, rubbing at my face. He was already gone.
I stood in front of the door to Lucas's house holding Lucas's key.
I pushed the door open, climbed the stairs, and fell headlong into Lucas's bed.
I slept.