Lately, Xie Changxi had been looking at her like this, making her uneasy. What she sought, Xie Changxi was unwilling to give her, yet he still pressed close and asked her from time to time.
As expected of a young master from a distinguished family—he only heard what he wanted to hear, doing as he pleased.
After a long moment, Shi Jun pressed her lips into a faint smile and said, "Nothing is the matter."
Seeing her desireless, as serene as a sage indifferent to fame and fortune, Xie Changxi's brow furrowed slightly. His voice was low as he said, "If you seek nothing, then why refuse to smile?"
His tone was harsh, and his gaze suddenly turned cold.
Shi Jun laughed coldly in her heart. Being a servant girl, forcibly dragged into becoming a concubine—what was there to smile about?
Surely Xie Changxi didn't think he was King You of Zhou, trying to win a smile from her.
After a moment's thought, the smile at the corners of Shi Jun's lips deepened, her brows curving gently. "My lord, this slave was simply not born with a fondness for smiling."
With that, she withdrew her smile and let her face turn cold.
She certainly had a quick temper for turning on a dime. Xie Changxi pressed his lips together and chuckled softly. The Shi Jun he had seen in the past was always respectful and distant, but seeing her so lively and spirited now stirred restless thoughts in him.
He rose and took Shi Jun's hand. "You always dress so thinly, and your hands are so cold. Why don't you take better care of yourself?"
Xie Changxi removed his azure cloud-patterned silk cloak and draped it over Shi Jun's shoulders. The plain, muted color suited her well.
His fingertips brushed past her shoulder, and through the thin spring garments, that trace of warmth spread like ink dropped into water—silent and imperceptible.
Shi Jun was momentarily stunned.
The cloak was light, the silk clinging to her body with almost no weight at all, yet she felt as though a great mountain pressed down on her shoulders, leaving her nowhere to hide, and her breathing slowed involuntarily.
Xie Changxi's hand had not yet withdrawn.
He stood there beside her, so close that she could smell the aloeswood fragrance from his robes, seeping over her bit by bit, enveloping her entirely.
"My lord, this is against propriety."
Shi Jun was about to step back when a heavy force settled on her shoulder, holding her in place.
The moonlight was hazy, and the rain outside the window was faintly cool.
Inside the study, the candlelight was dim. The air was damp and cold, quiet, with the clear sound of raindrops and the warmth of breath beside her.
Shi Jun was terrified. Her brows were deeply furrowed, and she bit hard on her lower lip.
Xie Changxi's gaze darkened, his breathing growing heavier. He did not notice her slight trembling, only slowly and gently moving his hand from her shoulder.
He could not rush these one or two days. Lady Cui already disliked Shi Jun, and he did not wish to make Shi Jun's life harder in the future.
As for Cui Shu, he was willing to give her the dignity and honor befitting a wife.
"Yingyue, I pity your bitter circumstances and am willing to grant you a stroke of fortune. Moreover, you once risked your life to deliver a letter for me. For that alone, I will treat you well."
Xie Changxi spoke in a gentle voice, but his gaze did not waver, still fixed on her.
Shi Jun clutched the collar of the cloak, her knuckles turning white. She utterly loathed this so-called fortune.
Was risking her life to save him supposed to mean she had to become his concubine? What kind of fortune was that? What kind of kindness? As expected of a scholar—he dressed up coercion in high-sounding words.
"This slave thanks my lord for his kindness and fortune."
Shi Jun emphasized the word "thanks," yet her expression remained faint, like still autumn water without a single ripple.
The night breeze stirred through the corridor, and the lantern beneath the eaves swayed once more.
Xie Changxi turned his back to Shi Jun, gazing through the window at the hazy moonlight. As if recalling something, he curled his lips in a cold smile.
"The Great Xiangguo Temple is a place where all sorts of people gather. Lately, many have fallen ill and died without a place for burial, so they beg for help from kind-hearted people beside the temple. If you go, take care not to catch any illness. Keep your compassion in check and stay far away." Xie Changxi reminded her in a flat tone.
He had recently been handling matters for Kaifeng Prefecture, where many people had come to cancel their household registrations, but there were also those who had died without money for burial and had not yet been deregistered.
It was already the season when epidemics were common. He was reluctant to let Shi Jun go to Xiangguo Temple, but since Shi Jun wanted to go for Qinghe's sake, he naturally could not stop her.
Thinking back, Shi Jun had been willing to offend nobles and humble herself for her younger sister's sake—clearly she was someone who valued loyalty and affection.
Hearing Xie Changxi's words, Shi Jun replied, "It won't happen, my lord. On this trip to Xiangguo Temple, I also wish to pray for a peace charm for my lord, wishing my lord good fortune and smooth sailing."
Having said all these words against her heart, Shi Jun felt a dull ache in her chest. This was nothing like her. But Xie Changxi seemed to be quite taken with it. He slowly turned around and looked at her.
"Yueniang, do you only wish for my peace and success?"
He stepped forward and took Shi Jun's ice-cold hand. Those eyes, clear as black jade, seemed to see through her completely.
Shi Jun was briefly stunned, then slowly nodded.
Xie Changxi had achieved success at a young age and weathered several years in officialdom. He considered himself a good judge of character, yet with Shi Jun, he found no handle to grasp.
At first, he admired her for growing orchids well and for her loyalty. Now he loved her for her thoughtful, considerate ways and cherished her kind heart. And yet, with all this, she sought nothing.
He could only hope she harbored no other intentions in her heart. As long as she remained docile, he was willing to spoil her a little.
These past few days, Shi Jun had gone to the Great Xiangguo Temple together with Cui Shu. Every time Cui Shu entered the temple, she would part ways with Shi Jun, which saved Shi Jun the trouble of dealing with her.
Though she no longer had to deal with Cui Shu, with Xie Changxi's Chunhe by her side, Shi Jun couldn't very well make any moves in front of him. She could only wander about for now, looking at the various gates of Xiangguo Temple.
As Xie Changxi had said, there were many pitiful souls around the temple wrapped in straw mats, with nowhere to be buried. The monks of the temple were compassionate and had set aside this area to allow people to temporarily house the dead, while the eastern side was reserved for nobles who came to offer incense.
Meanwhile, Cui Shu watched as Shi Jun and Lingxiang followed the old abbot through the Great Buddha Hall and turned into a row of monks' quarters in the back courtyard. Only then did she slip out from the western side of Xiangguo Temple.
Ling Yuan followed Cui Shu reluctantly, lightly covering her nose and mouth. She caught a glimpse of the straw-wrapped corpses scattered among the weeds by the temple wall, and the sour, putrid stench was truly nauseating.
Cui Shu's family background wasn't particularly high, but even she had never seen such a sight.
The moment Ling Yuan set foot there, she felt as if she'd been struck by lightning all over.
"Miss, I think you've gone mad. You really ought to ask one of the masters in the temple to perform an exorcism on you," Ling Yuan grumbled.
They'd finally managed to get their young miss attached to the Yingchuan Marquis household, and now she wanted to go see her old lover—it made no sense at all.
Cui Shu paid no heed to proper young lady's etiquette and hurried outside, saying, "Ling Yuan, if I don't see him, my conscience will never be at ease."
Ling Yuan snapped at her, but she still came along.
Ling Yuan couldn't stop Cui Shu, so she could only let her come out this once—and Cui Shu had promised her it would be just one meeting.
Had it not been for that, Ling Yuan would never have agreed to deliver the letter for her. That Lin boy wasn't even half as good as the marquis household, yet Cui Shu was utterly infatuated with him.
After leaving Xiangguo Temple, Cui Shu followed Ling Yuan into a secluded teahouse. It was tucked away in a remote alley with little foot traffic.
Ling Yuan stood guard at the door. Before Cui Shu went in, Ling Yuan furrowed her brows and warned, "Miss, remember who you are now. In two days, the marquis household will be sending the betrothal gifts."
Afraid Cui Shu might do something foolish, Ling Yuan squeezed her wrist and shot her a look of frustration at her lack of ambition.
Cui Shu nodded, and only then did Ling Yuan let her go inside.