On the eighth day of the fourth month in the twenty-fifth year of Dasheng, the sky was clear without a single cloud, the golden sun shining high, spring warming the earth, with peach blossoms red and willows green.
At the city gate, the flow of people was like weaving thread. Wagons and horses entering and exiting formed two lines, slowly moving through the stone-paved passage. Wheels rolled over the stone surface, producing a dull rumbling sound, mingled with human voices and the snorting of livestock.
Shi Jun clutched her travel permit in her sleeve, following behind a few porters carrying shoulder poles, walking unhurriedly toward the city gate.
The sun was just right, making the back of her neck feel slightly hot. The hemp garment was somewhat stiff, the collar rubbing against her skin, but she endured it without tugging at it.
She had memorized Lin Qiniang's family background thoroughly, but once she passed through this city gate, no one would care anymore.
After a long while, finally it was her turn.
Shi Jun had never left the city gate on her own before. In the past, when she went to pay respects to Ahe, Hemu had led her, and no travel permit was needed for inspection.
This was her first time leaving the city, and since this was also her first time deceiving anyone, she was inevitably nervous.
The gatekeeper was a middle-aged soldier, his armor half open, leaning lazily against the brick wall of the gate passage, holding half a flatbread in his hand.
He casually swept his gaze over Shi Jun, pausing briefly on her plain clothing, then lifted his chin: "Travel permit."
Shi Jun handed the permit over with both hands, lowering her head slightly, revealing the newly dotted mole beneath her left eyebrow.
The soldier listlessly snatched the permit over, first flipping it over to examine the official seal, then leaning in closer to compare her appearance against the description on the permit—from her brows and eyes to the bridge of her nose, finally fixing on that mole.
Crumbs of flatbread hung at the corner of his mouth, unnoticed by him, as he squinted and compared back and forth.
He stared at her for a long while, and Shi Jun saw no sign of him letting her through, her heart growing more and more anxious.
"This mole under your brow—born with it?" he asked, his voice muffled.
Shi Jun steadied her nerves and answered softly: "Yes, I've had it since I was little."
The soldier looked at the writing on the permit again, comparing it this way and that, then nodded.
A young guard beside him leaned over to watch the commotion, laughing: "Brother Sun, checking so carefully—you think she's pretty?"
"Scram." The soldier kicked the young one, rolled up the permit, and handed it back to Shi Jun, waving his hand. "Go on."
Shi Jun took it, murmured "Thank you, sir," and tucked the permit into her sleeve, walking out of the city with steady steps.
That gaze behind her seemed to cling to her back. She didn't turn around, her spine held straight, until she had gone far enough that she quietly let out a breath.
The permit in her palm was already damp at one corner from sweat.
Once outside the city, Shi Jun dared not relax. She followed her memory up the mountain.
The forest was shaded with dense foliage, the sound of wind pleasant to the ear. As she climbed, she savored the free, fresh air, wishing she could turn into a bird and fly out of Bianjing.
Thinking of this, she thought gloomily—if only she could fly back to the modern world.
Before long, Shi Jun arrived at an open clearing. The ground was flat all around, and in the center stood a small, low grave.
No weeds grew around the grave, and the stone tablet seemed never to have been weathered by wind or rain—everything looked as good as new.
Ahe had been only nine years old when she died.
Tears welled in Shi Jun's eyes as she suddenly recalled the days when she and Ahe had depended on each other. She walked slowly to the grave, knelt before it, and took out pastries and fruits that the child had loved from her bundle.
In the past, she and Ahe had rarely been able to eat pastries. She didn't even know what kind of pastries Ahe would have liked. She would never have the chance to ask Ahe again.
Shi Jun raised her hand to touch the cold tombstone, grief surging in her heart, tears streaming down in torrents.
She thought, in this life, the only one she had wronged was Qinghe.
She hadn't been able to save Ahe, nor had she been able to tell her that her older sister was gone.
"Ahe, your sister is leaving now." Shi Jun's voice was soft and faint, her forehead pressed against the tombstone. "Ahe, if there's a next life, your sister will take you home, take you to eat lots of delicious things."
She made this vow with all her heart. She actually loved children very much, and held reverence for every living being that existed in this world.
The sun gradually sank to the west, the distant mountains glowing with light. As the evening glow spilled down, the scene before her unfolded like a painting.
Shi Jun had cried for a while, and had resolved to cut off everything in Bianjing—from now on, she would only be herself.
A sudden gust of wind rose through the mountains, stirring the forest leaves into a rustling sound.
A single tear happened to be brushed away by the wind, as if urging her onward.
She needed to go down the mountain now. If she waited any later, who knew what wolves or tigers might come out of the woods. Hurrying along with the last fragments of sunset, Shi Jun carried her bundle and made her way back along the path.
There was only this one path up and down the mountain.
The slanting sun on the way down still carried warmth, the spring breeze brushing past her brows, bringing a smile to her eyes.
Four years—she had finally made it through.
The further down the mountain she went, the better Shi Jun's mood became, the joy in her eyes no longer concealable.
After descending the slope, there was always a rustling sound in the woods—a sound accompanied by the crunching of broken twigs, yet the footsteps themselves were light.
Shi Jun's heart tightened. She dared not look back, only quickening her pace to run out of the woods.
The moment she moved, the sound behind her followed closely, growing denser.
Facing the wind, she ran all the way to flat ground, and only then turned back to catch a glimpse of a dark shadow flashing through the woods. Shi Jun looked up at the sky. If she had to travel alone through the night, that would be extremely dangerous.
Besides, she was a weak woman; if the bandits caught her, she would have no choice but to resign herself to fate. Now that she had the travel permit, she could go anywhere in the world. It would be better to return to the city first, then follow a merchant caravan.
With that thought, Shi Jun turned around and headed back.
But just as she took a single step, she saw an ornate carriage ahead. The carriage looked somewhat familiar, though she couldn't recall when she had seen it before.
Shi Jun pretended not to notice and continued walking. Unexpectedly, the moment she moved, a clear, low voice came from within the carriage, "Lin Qiniang."
That voice she knew all too well, but how could he be here? Why would he come? Shi Jun froze in place, her mind going blank. The spring breeze that had felt warm moments ago gradually turned cold and biting.
From the woods behind her emerged dozens of guards, led by Hemu, blocking off the path behind her.
With no way forward and no way back, Shi Jun clenched her back teeth, her gaze sharp and cold.
"I wonder where Yingyue intends to go? Shall I give you a ride, to save you some effort?" Xie Changxi spoke through the carriage curtain, his voice warm and deep, seemingly carrying a hint of amusement—altogether impossible to detect any anger.
Such a trivial matter was not worth his ire. Even the cats kept by the nobles in Bianjing would sometimes raise their claws to scratch their masters.
Today's incident, he would simply regard as his failure to train properly, allowing something in his possession to harbor thoughts of betrayal.
Had he ever treated her poorly? Why was she like a cat that couldn't be tamed? Could it be that all her past obedience and ingratiation were not her true heart?
Xie Changxi was doubtful, perplexed.
Shi Jun was not the type to feign compliance.
"I've finished paying my respects to Ahe and was about to return to the residence. Since you're here, my lord, you might as well give me a ride." Hearing his question, Shi Jun decided to play along for a bit to avoid making things too ugly. At this point, there was no escaping anyway.
Which link, which step had gone wrong?
Xie Changxi heard the stiffness in her tone and knew he had ruined her plans, leaving her dissatisfied.
She was the one getting upset first.
Xie Changxi's gaze darkened slightly. He let out a cold laugh and said, "Get in."
Shi Jun glanced back. Hemu and the guards were watching her, afraid she might flee.
Shi Jun lifted her hand to part the carriage curtain, and saw Xie Changxi seated upright inside, a scroll of book resting on his knee.
The carriage was not spacious; accommodating two people made it somewhat cramped. Inside, a small silver incense burner was releasing wisps of aloeswood smoke, curling gently in the confined space. Shi Jun felt as though she had walked into a wolf's den.
Xie Changxi's brow pressed down, his lips drawn tight, his dark eyes fixed on Shi Jun's clothing. Seeing her dressed in coarse hemp cloth, her fair neck chafed red, there was not a trace of a great household's maidservant about her.
Though he had never seen Shi Jun dressed finely before, neither had he seen her reduced to wearing brown hemp like a village woman.
Was this what she wanted? To live a hard life, her skin tanned dark, her face covered in rings of brown spots?
"Give it to me." He spoke coldly, with an air of condescending authority, as if brooking no resistance.
Shi Jun was momentarily stunned. She blinked, feigning innocence. "What?"
"The travel permit." Xie Changxi's brow relaxed slightly as he reached out to demand it from her.
Shi Jun knitted her brows, gritting her teeth as she shot him a glare, then reluctantly produced the travel permit from her sleeve. Because the carriage was cramped, she straightened her back and leaned against the opposite side.
Xie Changxi took it, glanced at the permit, and let out a cold snort. "You thought having this would let you leave? With this document, even if you fled to the ends of the earth, I could still bring you back."
Shi Jun furrowed her brow in silence, her eyes full of resentment. She had nothing left to say to Xie Changxi; words were so pale at this moment.
Xie Changxi clutched the travel permit, but his gaze lingered on Shi Jun's stubborn face—her dark brows lightly furrowed, her vermilion lips gently pressed, a faint, barely perceptible sheen of tears in her eyes.
Shi Jun's looks were not top-tier in Bianjing, but her seven-tenths of beauty carried a full ten-tenths of charm. Seeing her with that half-annoyed, half-pouting expression, brows knit in stubbornness, she looked utterly pitiable.
His gaze shifted slightly, catching sight of the red marks on Shi Jun's neck. For a moment, his heart stirred. He pinched the document between his fingers and looked away from her.
"Yingyue, I warned you before, yet you failed to appreciate it and truly believed you could escape. If I let you slip away, I might as well give up my official post." Xie Changxi's voice was cold and hard. "Do you think it's so easy to find an identical corpse, Lin Qiniang? Stop being foolish."
Seeing that she remained silent, he added with sarcasm, "Yingyue, have I spoiled you so much that you've forgotten your place? Do you truly believe you could survive without me?"
With that, he leaned forward, the incense burner in the carriage swaying slightly.
"Yingyue, do you think I can't do without you?" He raised his hand to grip Shi Jun's chin, forcing her to meet his gaze.
The aloeswood fragrance rushing toward her made Shi Jun frown repeatedly, and before she could react, he had already forcefully lifted her chin.
She could not read the tangled emotions in Xie Changxi's eyes, but she felt that his gaze went past her, looking at something behind her.
There was little flesh on Shi Jun's face, and when he gripped it, it felt like he was holding her jawbone. Xie Changxi found it bony against his fingers. He withdrew his gaze from the back of her neck and looked at the small bit of flesh on her cheek.
She was too thin; a bit more fullness would make her more pleasing.
Shi Jun listened to his words, which seemed to dismiss her as utterly worthless. If he looked down on her so much, why had he gone to such lengths to bring her back? He had even schemed extensively—first finding a woman's corpse to serve as her substitute, then allowing her to leave the city, only to capture her again at the foot of the mountain.
Now that she had openly fallen out with Xie Changxi, there was no need to treat him with deference. With this thought, Shi Jun decided not to hold back any longer. Her gaze gradually sharpened as she stared directly at Xie Changxi.
"Hmph, why bother painting yourself so clean? You were the one who broke your promise to let me go, and now you turn around and blame me for being disobedient. Let me ask you—when did I ever ask for your rewards, when did I ever beg you for wealth and glory?" Shi Jun tugged at the corners of her lips with difficulty, her mocking expression twisting grotesquely.
If Xie Changxi hadn't forcibly insisted on making her his concubine, why would she have gone to such lengths to escape the city? And now, he still played the role of a sage and gentleman, while she was the ungrateful, unappreciative one.
Had she known that beneath Xie Changxi's warm, refined exterior lay such a nature, she would have rather played along with Tang Zhisheng first before making her plans.
The way to deal with a petty villain and the way to deal with a hypocrite were different.
After all, Tang Zhisheng only wielded a limited amount of power, but Xie Changxi was a high-ranking official with immense authority—dealing with him would only be harder.
"You don't want it? I imagine you've never truly tasted the flavor of power, nor lived a life of silk and fine food. Once you've experienced it, how could you not want it?" He smiled contemptuously, as if he could see right through her.
There was no one in this world who wouldn't want such things.
Xie Changxi's fingertips traced her face, and the mole beneath his left brow was wiped away by his other hand.
The carriage passed through the city gate, its wheels rolling over the stone-paved road with a rumbling clatter.
Xie Changxi stared at her in silence, as if admiring a pleasing plaything—one that couldn't move and could only be worn down by his hands.
It should have been this way. Why should Shi Jun be allowed to leave whenever she pleased? Her indenture contract, everything she had—all of it was in his grasp. If he wanted her, why would he need her consent?
Shi Jun still furrowed her brows. Xie Changxi's gaze grew increasingly fervent, as if he wished he could devour her in one gulp. How could she just sit and wait for her doom?
Since Xie Changxi liked her, she would show him the side she knew he disliked. She would treat her former sincerity as if it had been fed to the dogs, and her life-risking rescue as nothing but a joke.
Xie Changxi was right before her eyes, the two of them only a hair's breadth apart. Shi Jun's nostrils were filled with the thick scent of agarwood, growing heavier and heavier, and she saw Xie Changxi begin to lean forward.
Shi Jun worked her jaw and spat through gritted teeth: "I was a fool to have once thought you were a gentleman. Now I see you're nothing but a petty villain—faithless to your word and forcing your will upon others."
"Faithless to my word? I once offered to make plans for you—you simply didn't take them. As for forcing my will upon others—" His tone turned suggestive as he paused, his gaze sliding from her eyes down to her tightly pressed lips. "If I truly forced you, what could you do about it, Yingyue? Why provoke my displeasure? Do you want it here, or what?"
Before he finished speaking, he raised his other hand, sliding it from the flushed nape of Shi Jun's neck down to her waist, gently tugging at the sash.
The carriage passed through noisy streets and alleys, with no telling when it would stop. Shi Jun trembled all over at his actions, desperately trying to lean back, but Xie Changxi gave a light tug and pulled her back. She knelt between his legs, the soft fabric of her clothing pressing against her neck.
He wore that lofty, arrogant expression—at first glance, elegant and refined, with handsome features—but the movements of his hands grew increasingly wanton.
Recalling her first meeting with Xie Changxi, he had been the same then—aloof and proud. But at that time, he had helped her out of a difficult situation, and she had regarded him as her savior. Now, he had become her nightmare.
At this thought, Shi Jun's jaw ached from his grip, and hatred surged in her eyes.
If Xie Changxi wanted to force her to submit, he would inevitably do that deed. She could dodge it today, but not forever. His behavior was no different from Tang Zhisheng's when he had molested her back then!
With this thought, Shi Jun took a closer look at Xie Changxi and mused that there were still some differences. Xie Changxi, after all, had been raised amidst gold and jade—he was handsome and had a decent figure.
Who was really taking advantage of whom?
She had never thought of using her chastity to build a monument to herself. As long as she was alive, everything could still turn around.