“Hah…
huff…
phew…
man, I…
huff!
Such a weakling…
heh,” I was gasping for air, trying to catch my breath after getting home.
The whole thing started because I’d decided to go for a run…
to the nearest store.
Honestly, I didn’t really have a choice.
During two months of depression my previous self had devoured every scrap of food in the house, and whatever hadn’t been eaten had gone straight in the trash recently, since it was no longer fit to eat.
These last few weeks I’d basically been living off delivery, plain and simple, because the “spoiled brat” had never learned to cook.
Talking about myself in the third person here, yeah.
How did that even happen, if I’d already been living alone for a year and a half?
Well…
delivery food, care packages from my mother, who despite being busy at work still found time not just to cook but to bring it over to me twice a week.
Seriously…
the more I think about it now, looking back from the outside, the more I realize what a little brat I was.
So I made the willful decision to shove my depression aside (though not entirely, as the mirror in the hallway helpfully informed me, reflecting the expression on my face), and decided to combine the useful with the useful, changing into workout clothes and jogging to the store, noting along the way that I actually ran out of steam a bit later than I expected to.
After that came forty minutes of shopping for everything I needed (mostly grains and canned goods…
and granola, you can’t live in America and not eat granola, at least for breakfast).
After which, with three bags full of food, I briskly…
trudged home at a snail’s pace.
Because the bags were pretty heavy for me, and the run had taken its toll too.
I could’ve fallen back on my old line, “I’m a nerd, not an athlete,” but…
damn, it’s embarrassing!
Things got worse as I approached the house, when out of nowhere my muscles started cramping up.
And in a completely chaotic order too.
First the muscle under my right knee would seize up and start twitching, sending jolts of horrific pain, then my left arm would cramp…
limping home on the last shreds of my pride, I let my emotions out once I got there, screaming my lungs out, because…
well, it hurt!
But after about fifteen minutes it finally let up, judging by the clock on the DVD player under the TV, though weakness set in right after.
And hunger.
I think I’m starting to understand how Peter felt after that spider bit him.
And honestly, I really wish I’d never had to find that out, yeah.
In the kitchen, I discovered my second problem.
Neither of my two halves could really cook.
Lucian could barely manage toast, thankfully there was a toaster in the apartment.
And Gennadiy, after his parents died, threw himself into work and spent several years eating whatever was on hand — store-bought instant meals, instant noodles, and other garbage — which nearly gave him a stomach ulcer, and he’d started to get better about it, but he never developed much skill either — he could manage boiling porridge or maybe an omelet (or scrambled eggs, depending on the mood), but even making soup looked to him like some kind of “dark sorcery,” no Marvel pun intended.
“Embarrassing to admit, but right now I’d rather the gacha hand me a chef or some cooking skill instead of a superpower or something like that, even a pathetic one!
And honestly, I’m a teenager — I’m allowed to want dumb, trivial stuff!” I say sadly, not feeling great about myself.
Because choking down bowls of porridge really didn’t appeal to me.
Gennadiy had already gotten used to that kind of thing, but Lucian had been raised on something else entirely.
But for now, I had no choice.
So I’d have to choke down the porridge.
Ugh…
should’ve grabbed burgers!
Only one thing cheered me up, and that was…
[Taiga Kagami – 11%] After a few hours, one run, and hauling grocery bags from the store (that counts as physical labor too!), the assimilation percentage had climbed nicely.
Though at this rate, this clearly isn’t a one-day project.
Then again, who knows, maybe the further along it goes, the more similarities there’ll be between me and Taiga, meaning the assimilation will speed up too?
Might work like that even for a regular person.
Guess we’ll find out.
While I was at it, I searched the house, trying to sort out where all the important documents had ended up!
And what exactly my parents had left me — after all, the lawyer my family worked with on my father’s side had stopped by back in October.
So he definitely should’ve handed over copies of some documents!
And I did find them, after forty minutes of searching…
and one batch of burnt porridge, which I had to toss and start over.
Because you can’t both cook and ransack the entire house at the same time and expect the food to survive.
Feels like the synergy between me-Lucian and me-Gennadiy has just amplified both our worst traits.
Ugh…
another lie from all those fiction writers claiming the opposite.
But the documents were found, the porridge was ready, so I sat down to go through them while eating.
So, from my mother I inherited some of her savings, a car, her and my father’s apartment in Brooklyn, which was registered under her name, and a bunch of smaller things.
Overall, though, it added up to a decent amount — my finances have definitely just grown by a factor of ten, if not more, and if I don’t go overboard, I could live off this for several years without doing anything at all.
My father’s side was more interesting.
I’m his legal heir.
But looking at the paperwork, I got this weird feeling that either I wasn’t given everything, or somebody “greased somebody’s palm.” Maybe both.
Basically, my father had more family — a sister and two brothers.
And somehow, without any clear designation of who exactly my guardian was supposed to be, the three of them quietly split up my father’s company and part of the accounts between themselves, and apparently for three months now they’ve been the ones running things.
Not that they were being especially grabby about it (though they also hadn’t reached out to me, I remember that clearly!), or maybe there’s more to it, but…
formally, I was still the owner of all of it, and practically, at eighteen, I’d become the actual owner outright.
Only these three could run things in the meantime.
And they hadn’t even dragged their own families into it, though they easily could have, leaving me to deal with lawsuits later to get everything back.
Sadly, that kind of thing works in this country.
Mixed feelings, to sum it up.
There’s something faintly unpleasant about the whole setup, but on the other hand, everything looks proper, clean, and aboveboard.
Or maybe I just don’t understand something.
I’ll need to talk to this side of the family in person.
And also…
finally call my relatives on my mother’s side.
Our last conversation hadn’t gone well.
They’d tried to comfort me, invited me to stay with them, tried to calm me down over the phone (they couldn’t make the trip themselves), and I…
snapped.
Well, sure, how would they know what I was feeling — it’s not like they lost a daughter (my grandparents) and a sister (my numerous aunts and uncles on my mother’s side…
seems my grandparents were quite the “rabbits” in their day).
Ahem…
anyway, I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have.
And I really should call them, but…
But I keep finding excuses not to.
I’m not ready for the call, I don’t feel well, it’s probably too late over there already, plus I’ve got more pressing matters right now.
And I’d almost convinced myself, if not for the stirrings of what’s left of Gennadiy in me.
And it was exactly that stirring that let me be honest with myself — I’m just ashamed, embarrassed, and scared to call.
Scared of hearing what I deserve.
Or not hearing anything at all, which would be even worse.
Because I’d be aware of my own guilt, but…
getting forgiven that easily by them would let my own conscience eat me alive.
Snapping at a couple of old people, what was I even thinking!
And also…
the nagging thought of burgers was killing me.
So after going through the papers and lecturing myself a bit about my own cowardice, I gave in.
Changing back into workout clothes, I headed to the nearest fast food place, deciding to stock up on burgers.
I could also grab some frozen ones at the store, throw them in the freezer, and heat them up as needed.
Not as good as fresh fast food, but better than that damn porridge.
Strange, I’d never noticed this kind of craving for burgers in myself before, or in Gennadiy either.
But whatever.
It’s at least tastier than choking down porridge…
and more filling.
Except the moment I stepped outside, I sharply realized that an hour of rest hadn’t been nearly enough for my body.
But hey, for the sake of speeding up assimilation, you do what you gotta do.
What made it worse — whether it was paranoia acting up, or something else entirely poking through besides the gacha — this time, once I was outside, I felt some kind of discomfort, weaker in some spots, stronger in others, but constant, all the way until I got back home.
Though that did make me speed up my plans and buy everything “at a brisk waltz,” ignoring the pain in my body from muscles that weren’t used to this kind of strain (or any strain at all, if this pathetic mess could even be called muscle).
Oh, the relief I felt closing that door once I got home!
The only thing that could possibly compare to that feeling of relief, and the fading of something on the edge of my awareness (honestly, I really wasn’t sure that had been the sensation of someone watching me), was one thing only — hot, delicious hamburgers!
After which I was genuinely surprised, both by how three not-exactly-small burgers managed to fit inside me, and by my own reaction to them.
They somehow tasted better.
Though I’ll admit, maybe my perception and Gennadiy’s had overlapped somehow, and that’s where the answer to all of this is hiding.
Alright, enough with the base cravings, I definitely won’t be dealing with family stuff today…
because I have a feeling those weird spasms were somehow connected to the assimilation, and while it’s ongoing, I’d rather not go out in public.
At least not for now, and not during this first assimilation.
Besides, I had other questions too.
The main one — exactly which point in the timeline, and which canons, had I landed in.
And my computer would help me with that…
a giant monitor that looked genuinely bizarre to look at, I’d gotten way too used to flat monitors, screens, and TVs.
Well, “I” meaning Gennadiy — though I was already jealous of the level of technological progress in his world.
So, what did a quick surf across the “world wide web” get me?
First — a good chunk of the music Gennadiy liked, and that I wouldn’t have minded hearing live, doesn’t exist here…
yeah, I wasn’t able to focus on the actually important stuff right away, my bad.
Next — the Fantastic Four already exist in this world and have picked up some popularity, more than half a year has passed since Peter debuted as a hero.
Mentions of Cap only appear in the past.
Seems he’s still on ice, but there’s nothing I can or intend to do to influence that one way or another.
They’ll dig him up without my help, meddling in any of that is dangerous, and even the “super-soldier serum” doesn’t appeal to me, I’ve got my own methods of getting stronger, and I should probably master those first…
yeah, I’m just plain scared.
Next, Tony isn’t a hero yet, but that’s about to change any minute — just three days ago the internet exploded with news of his kidnapping.
And sure, the fanboy in me wouldn’t mind watching those events unfold live, but…
nah, screw that!
I’d get squashed there, and even if I used the super-regeneration card, maybe I could watch and survive, but I’d get exposed so badly that I might as well climb the Statue of Liberty and scream to the world that I’m the new “Super.” And even that wouldn’t be as much of a giveaway.
And besides, there’s parts of these events I wouldn’t even be able to witness anyway — I doubt I could find my way to the secret terrorist base where they’re currently holding Tony.
Assuming I even knew where it was — it’s secret, after all!
So, what else?
Hank Pym, the Hulk — and there’s already been about five years of data on the latter, so he’s clearly been enjoying his second form for a while now.
Thor’s shown up in the news recently too, but strangely, not through the events of the first movie — I couldn’t find any mentions of those.
Seems his story here is following one of the comic book storylines instead…
not great.
No, actually, that’s not bad in itself, comics-Thor is way stronger than his movie counterpart, and if he’s out there protecting regular folks like me, that’s good!
That’s even great!
But…
his enemies are probably from the same source, and the tier of threats he deals with in the comics would make movie-Thanos hang himself out of sheer envy.
Oh, right…
and Thanos too…
damn it, Lucian, don’t spiral into another depression!
It’s fine!
I’m not in the deepest sh— okay, no, I am, but I’ve got time!
Not sure how much, but I’ve got some!
Now I just need to come up with something…
like, escape to another universe and come back once all the canon events are over.
Though…
considering some Marvel universes do actually have an ending, meaning “poof” and there’s no more universe — wiped out one way or another!
There’s a real chance that the ending to all those storylines might also be the ending of my universe.
Ahem, well, panic is panic, but lunch happens on schedule regardless.
In the sense that, while my finances and inheritance situation is still murky, I should figure out some way to fix my financial standing, except barely anyone’s going to hire a sixteen-year-old.
And wherever they would hire me, I’m not exactly eager to go.
First priority — rule out any physical labor entirely.
Maybe all these assimilations will fix that eventually…
I’m literally counting on it!
But right now, and for a while yet, physical labor is off the table for me.
Same goes for anything illegal or semi-legal.
Sure, it looks cool, has that whole “outlaw romance” vibe to it, and it’s often the easiest way to make some quick cash, but it’s definitely a one-way road.
Plus, honestly, I’m way too scared to try anything like that.
Sports are also out.
Just temporarily, I think, given Kagami, but still…
hmm…
actually, there’s one decent option!
Contextual advertising!
Sure, it didn’t really take off in a big way in Gennadiy’s world until much later, but progress moved faster here.
The whole field is familiar to me-Gennadiy, and it’s the kind of thing you can pick up in a couple of days without any teachers needed.
So let’s go browse job listings, pick out some suck— ahem, some employers that don’t require the worker to be physically present at an office and can be done remotely…
and yep, there are some.
Sure, not that many listings, the field hasn’t really taken off yet, but that also means less competition.
Bookmark a couple of the most appealing offers, and move on to the important part — brushing up on these skills, converting them from Gennadiy’s knowledge into my own actual abilities, and testing them out in this world, since systems can differ.
And, well, after all that…
I already have a job.
Low-effort, doesn’t eat up much time (though if I have to build an ad campaign from scratch for someone, that’ll take a couple of days of tinkering — but monitoring an already-built one takes minimal attention), fits easily around school, a regular job, and plenty else, while still bringing in income.
If I’m honest, it’s kind of strange — here I am in the actual Marvel universe, where there’s a mutant, a mad scientist, a hero, or a villain around every corner, where danger can be lurking not even around the corner but literally inside your own house, where humanity faces total catastrophe on what feels like a weekly basis, and knowing all that, and having a unique ability of my own…
I’m out here looking for a side gig.
I get that it’s logical, that you’ve gotta eat regardless of “that” life stuff, that there’s a normal existence to maintain alongside everything else, but still…
part of me wants to get involved in the action too, save a couple dozen hot girls, maybe save the world once, show everyone what I’m made of.
Ugh…
makes me want to say “what a kid I still am.” But even realizing that doesn’t change the fact that I still want all of it, very badly!
With those thoughts, I fell asleep after a quick rinse and dinner…
yep, correct, more hamburgers.
At this rate I’ll go from scrawny to chubby in no time!