Countless millennia ago, the world was abundant with spiritual energy, and the practice of Cultivation flourished!
Not only were Cultivation sects numerous in the human realm, but demons and monsters also emerged endlessly.
As the saying goes, when the wind is strong enough, even pigs can fly!
The result of overly abundant spiritual energy was that bronze mirrors and jade pendants grew legs and ran, while cats and dogs spoke human language!
As long as you were clever enough or lived long enough, regardless of your species, embarking on the path of cultivation was no dream!
However, the Heavenly Dao cycles, and extremes beget reversal!
Ascension became too easy, so celestial housing gradually grew scarce!
Entering the Demonic path became too simple, so the underworld also ran out of surplus resources!
To compete for resources, immortal cultivators began slaying demons, monsters, and ghosts in the human realm!
Meanwhile, among the demons and monsters, rumors spread that consuming cultivators could replenish one’s vitality!
On one side, cultivators scoured fields and villages seeking talented disciples; on the other, demons and monsters banded together for warmth, diligently killing people to boost the underworld’s KPI!
From initial minor skirmishes to full-scale battles, the celestial court wielded the Investiture of the Gods while the underworld brandished the Book of Life and Death, essentially competing in speed on the battlefield!
You have Eight-Armed Nezha,
I have the Octopus Monster!
You have Thousand-Hand Guanyin,
I have the Centipede Demon!
The key was that these two shameless groups—immortals who couldn’t enter the underworld and ghosts who couldn’t ascend to heaven—tacitly agreed to place their battlefield in the human realm.
Finally, the Heavenly Dao grew furious, kneading the celestial court, underworld, and human realm into a ball, then flattening it into a disc to form a Yin-Yang Fish!
Hmm, much more pleasing to the eye!
From then on, monsters inhabited the Yin realm, humans resided in the Yang realm, with the two eyes of the Yin-Yang Fish serving as passageways between both sides.
If a monster possessed the Root of Wisdom and achieved enlightenment, it could enter the human realm and join a Sect to become a cultivator.
If a human lost their way and entered the Demonic path, they could immigrate to the Monster World!
In short, no celestial court, no underworld!
No matter how hard you cultivated, ascending was absolutely impossible!
Xiao Zhuang, who had just regained consciousness after receiving the environmental introduction, couldn’t help but voice his soul-searching question: “If we can’t even fucking ascend, why bother cultivating at all?!”
Wouldn’t slacking off be more appealing?
Is the wine not good enough? Or is mahjong not fun enough?
If we can’t ascend anyway, why exhaust ourselves with daily cultivation? Are we insane?
“You’re the one who’s insane!” a slightly impatient voice retorted. “I say, host, are your ears just for decoration? No celestial court, no underworld—did you get that? Without exceptionally strong attachments, you can’t even become a ghost after death; you’ll just dissipate into spiritual energy. Non-cultivators only live a hundred years, while cultivators extend their lifespan as their cultivation grows! If you’re an ordinary human, even if you played mahjong from birth, you’d only get a century of play. But if you reach Core Formation, you’ll have 500 years! Can you do math? Deducting cultivation time, you’d still have centuries more to play!”
Xiao Zhuang sneered, “You’re just trying to trick me into cultivating! I’m a monster—I have a 200-year lifespan even without cultivating! Besides, those who reach Core Formation are all single-mindedly devoted to the Great Dao. Who would I even find to play mahjong with? What’s the point?!”
The System seemed to have anticipated this reaction and threatened leisurely, “Oh, then go ahead and slack off! Just bear the consequences yourself.”
Xiao Zhuang asked suspiciously, “You’re not going to persuade me? Won’t you be punished if you’re bound to me and I don’t complete tasks?”
The System chuckled. “Doesn’t matter, just points! I’m a System Second Generation, after all—my Father’s efforts are enough.”
“Huh? Even Systems rely on their fathers?” Xiao Zhuang said in disbelief. “So your Father is really impressive?”
The System proudly set off a fireworks display in his mind, “Of course! My dad has never failed a mission!
He once took on a hellishly difficult one—a 1.9-meter-tall blacksmith host was bound to a Demon Consort mission, tasked with making the emperor take him as the only empress for life!
And my dad actually pulled it off!”
Xiao Zhuang was clearly intrigued by this topic, “How did that brave warrior get into the palace?”
The System chuckled sinisterly, “He rebelled, declared himself king, then imprisoned the emperor and became the empress!”
“Damn, you can play it like that?” Xiao Zhuang stroked his chin with a sly grin, “The entire dynasty must have been utterly baffled—probably the first time they’d seen someone rebel just to become an empress!
Not bad, suits my taste!”
The System laughed too, “Dear host, if you don’t work hard on your missions, no taste of yours will matter.
Allow me to remind you, you broke pauper—you’ve run out of food!”
“Run out of food?” Xiao Zhuang sat up immediately, “Didn’t I transmigrate into a demon?
Why am I struggling so badly?”
The System sneered, “To be precise, you’re not a demon!
If we go by the Cultivation standards of ten thousand years ago, you should be classified as a spirit!
Only living beings who cultivate count as demons—you’re just a bone! Cultivating a human form makes you a bone spirit!
Even herbivores occasionally chew on bones to grind their teeth and supplement calcium, so based on your race’s innate nature, your original form can only scrape together a few wild vegetables to fill its stomach.”
Xiao Zhuang was stunned, “I actually transmigrated into a White Bone Spirit? Isn’t this place called the Two Realms Continent? Is there a Journey to the West plot here too?”
The System spat in disdain, “Buddy, could you have a little self-awareness?
The White Bone Spirit at least had a full skeleton—you’re just a single bone!
Got it?
A single bone!”
Xiao Zhuang flared up, “I was living perfectly fine as a rich second-generation in the modern era—why did you have to bind with me for no reason?
Binding me is one thing, but instead of giving me some lofty, impressive character setting, you make me transmigrate into a single bone?
Did I dig up your ancestral grave for you to mess with me like this?”
Mentioning this, the System felt slightly guilty, “Wasn’t it because I heard people cursing you for having a ‘rebellious bone’?
Thought you’d match well with this original body’s type, hehe!
The System only has a recycle bin, no ancestral grave!”
Xiao Zhuang suddenly had a thought, “Are you saying the bone I transmigrated into is a rebellious bone?
Whose rebellious bone? Some ancient great power from the Cultivation World?”
The System’s voice turned somewhat cheerful, “Pretty close! You’re the rebellious bone of Zhuang Feibai, the Little Grand Master Uncle of Soaring Sword Peak!
A heaven-favored prodigy, a gifted child, exceptionally talented—now the youngest Core Formation Ancestor in the Cultivation World!
The pinnacle of combat power in the Cultivation World!”
Xiao Zhuang stroked his chin thoughtfully, “A good kid beloved by his elders, huh!
Then how did he grow a rebellious bone?
And how was I dug out?”
The System’s voice grew indignant, “Zhuang Feibai is the son of the old sect master of Soaring Sword Peak, and that old bastard was outrageously harsh!
Zhuang Feibai showed exceptional Cultivation talent from a young age. When he was 12, he slacked off just once, and that old bastard acted like the sky had fallen, beating him half to death.
Later, some ‘brilliant’ physician discovered that Zhuang Feibai had an extra rib on his left side.
That old bastard concluded that Zhuang Feibai’s disobedience was due to this rebellious bone and forcibly had it removed.
After removal, he even placed the dug-out bone in Zhuang Feibai’s bedroom to remind him to stay vigilant at all times.
Later, by some serendipitous opportunity, a dog demon sneaked into Soaring Sword Peak, so… you get the picture!”
“Please stop, I can picture it now!” Xiao Zhuang covered his face. “What’s the original plot? What’s my mission? To avoid being swallowed and then… excreted by various carnivorous demons in the future, I can put in some proper effort!”
“Hey now, didn’t we agree to take it easy?” the System’s tone was particularly smug. “Missions are difficult and exhausting anyway. You’re just a skeleton without pain receptors – just endure it and it’ll pass!”
This time Xiao Zhuang refuted righteously, “No need to persuade me further! I’ve always believed in one saying – water has its source, trees have their roots, there must be a reason for my transmigration! Since fate has brought me to this cultivation world, I must be the chosen one everyone expects! I shall achieve great deeds, break through the barriers between heaven and earth, and open the path to ascension!”
Damn, would it kill you not to boast?
The System gazed skyward speechlessly. It really should have given this guy a brain CT scan before binding with him!
Intermittent bursts of ambition, persistent laziness and waiting for death – this mental state was too exhausting for a system to handle!