No matter how much the System regretted it, the goods were sold with no returns or exchanges—once bound, could they really separate?
They’d just have to make do!
After his impassioned speech, Xiao Zhuang sat cross-legged on the ground and declared with utmost seriousness, “System-kun, I am prepared! Please reveal my mission!”
The System wished it could transform into the Thousand-Hand Guanyin just to flip this guy off!
What was with this dramatic display as if preparing for seppuku?
That “System-kun” address made the little system’s nonexistent prostate ache!
It was utterly cringeworthy.
The System took a moment to calm itself, adopting the gentlest tone possible: “According to the original world’s development, the little rebellious bone struggled to survive in the Monster World before stumbling into the human realm through a serendipitous opportunity!
He happened to arrive during the Five Major Sects’ disciple recruitment and was accepted into Lingjian Sect because he looked ninety percent like Zhuang Feibai!
What followed was constant bullying and abuse until he was saved by the white lotus female lead and became her simp. The ending was simple too—after being used up completely, he exited the stage to make room for other simps!
Zhuang Feibai had been in closed-door cultivation the entire time and only sensed something when the little guy self-destructed into dust.
Later, Zhuang Feibai coincidentally encountered the female lead Yu Xueyao paying respects to his original self. You can guess what happened next!
How could the Sword Sect’s young grandmaster, who devoted himself solely to the Sword Dao and knew nothing of worldly affairs, possibly compete with a player white lotus!
Your little Father repeated your simp path—contributing to the female lead’s success by offering his heart, soul, and wealth, until he was thoroughly drained and exited the stage!”
Xiao Zhuang curled his lip disdainfully, “I’ll bet a big chicken drumstick that grand white lotus would never fancy my naive little Father!”
“Bingo, correct!” the System sneered mockingly, “Every villain meets their match—that grand white lotus fell for the demonic cultivator Yun Zhifan.
Those two tortured each other for over 300 chapters before reconciling.”
“Wait, over 300 chapters? You mean I transmigrated into a book?” Xiao Zhuang spotted the key point, “So you have the original work? Doesn’t that make me a man holding the script?”
The System also regretted the slip but still tried to justify itself, “Please know your place, host!
You and your little Father only occupy two pages in this 500-chapter novel!
Did Journey to the West describe the daily life of one among the five hundred little demons under the Bull Demon King? No, right?
So you don’t get that either!”
Xiao Zhuang snorted, “This master isn’t planning to learn about my original daily life anyway—I’m not following the plot!”
The System felt this host was probably brewing some trouble, but it didn’t matter—it had bound a rebellious bone precisely to wreck the plot.
As long as they made Zhuang Feibai, who had drained readers of tears, live a happy life while tearing apart the white lotus to vent sisters’ frustrations, their mission would be accomplished.
Xiao Zhuang suddenly thought of a question, “Hey, Tong Ge! Any newbie gift package?
Heavenly Materials and Earthly Treasures, cultivation manuals, or valley-bottom grandfathers waiting for successors—got any of those?
What am I supposed to use to level up and fight monsters?”
“None! Always dreaming of good things!” the System said with utter contempt, “Those are privileges for male and female leads! You? Having a tough life counts as your only advantage, that’s it!”
Xiao Zhuang waved his pale little hand, “Three-heads-tall body, no cheat abilities!
System, if I kill myself, can I go back?”
“No! The only way home is to complete the mission!” The System was also scratching its head over this problem, “Do you have any strengths or specialties?
Since we’re both first-timers on missions, I’ll pull some strings for you!”
“Pick something you’re good at and I’ll customize a leveling system for you!
For example, if you’re great at drinking or playing mahjong, I could set it up so drinking ten pounds of liquor boosts your comprehension by one point, or winning a mahjong game increases your Spiritual Power by 10 points!”
Xiao Zhuang stroked his chin thoughtfully. “I do love drinking, but people call me ‘One-Cup Wonder’!
As for mahjong, I’ve hardly won any games over the years—I specialize in ‘triple fireworks’ moves and once lost over a thousand rounds!
After some reflection, I’d say my true talent is squandering wealth.
I can spend three months of my Father’s factory output in a single year. How about creating a ‘squanderer’s leveling system’ for me?
I consider myself quite professional at spending money—guaranteed to never spend a single coin wisely.”
The System chuckled. “I’ve got flashy squanderer leveling methods in my database, but let me remind you—you’re broke!
Come on, repeat after me: bro…ke…!
You don’t even have tomorrow’s breakfast sorted out, yet you’re dreaming so big.”
Xiao Zhuang slumped onto the ground dejectedly. “Then you decide! This is just how I am—when faced with difficulties, I collapse. Where I fall, I’ll lie down for a while!
Striving for improvement? Impossible. Never in this lifetime.”
“Fine, you’ve got guts!”
The System’s CPU nearly overheated before suddenly having an inspiration—it knew what leveling mechanism to create for this rascal!
The inhuman contraption emitted a dumbbell-like laugh. “Dear host, don’t be so pessimistic!
Even a piece of trash has its uses!
Though you fail at everything and devour whatever remains, you’re quite skilled at infuriating people.
I heard your Father’s blood pressure rises 10% annually—he’s become a VIP at the hospital, and you, his only son, deserve most of the credit!
How about I create a mechanism where collecting Wrath Points makes you stronger?”
Hearing this, Xiao Zhuang immediately perked up, stroking his chin with a sleazy smile. “Not bad! I think this idea works!
Too bad my playboy Father isn’t here—his anger alone could probably boost me to Core Formation.
But I must clarify, Tong Ge—only half his hospitalizations were from my antics, the other half were from kidney deficiency.
After all, his bed sees more traffic than a subway station. If my mother hadn’t been ruthless enough to sterilize him, my wild siblings could form a whole class.”
The System was speechless about his family—the parents were hardly blameless for how this kid turned out!
The System finally asked, “Host, once the leveling mechanism is set, it can’t be changed! Are you sure?”
“Sure!”
“Done! Since you’re willing to die, I’m willing to bury you. Off you go!”
A flash of white light sealed the contract!
The System breathed a sigh of relief—it felt more exhausted than during its System graduation exams.
Xiao Zhuang rubbed his empty stomach. “Tong Ge, can I owe you two meat buns? Hungry, food!”
The System rolled its eyes. “Do I look like a meat bun to you?
All items require Wrath Points for exchange. I’m just the NPC handling your transactions!
It’s not that I won’t help you—the goods belong to others, so I can’t extend credit even if I wanted to.”
Sigh!
Xiao Zhuang surveyed his doghouse of a home: earthen walls, thatched roof, broken wooden door, empty vats, empty bowls, empty copper basins—even rats would leave here in tears!
He looked at his pale, delicate hands. Sixteen years since leaving Zhuang Feibai’s body, only six years since cultivating human form!
And he still had ten years until the plot begins when he attends the Five Great Sects’ disciple recruitment ceremony?
Could it be that he really had to grow up in this Monster World until sixteen before acknowledging his father?
Hah, not a chance!
Why work hard when you can rely on your father?
But that was all for after he acknowledged his father. For now, he still had to strive—at the very least, he needed to ensure he didn’t starve to death before then!
The little guy picked up a piece of firewood and took that dented bronze basin as he stepped out of the rundown hut!
First, he’d earn some Wrath Points to fill his belly. Only with a full stomach would he have the strength to work hard, right?